And I feel so strange, do you see a change?
Yes, I feel so strange
I don't know what it is
Please tell me what it is?
A billion bees are buzzing in my brain
And my heart feels like it's gonna burst
I'm like a fish out of a big blue ocean
And only you can satisfy my thirst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is the day of the school trip today. Sohyun has called me yesturday suggesting going with oppa to the camping site. I found it an amazing idea, and oppa agreed.

When we reached there, we found that the others didn't come yet. Oppa met the owner from whom he rented a small cottage in which we are going to stay in the coming days.

I took a deep long sigh and smiled widely facing oppa. He smiled back and asked,''You seem so enthusiastic; don't tell me it's because of your teacher. We are here only for your friends and for fun, all right?''

I attacked the only bed there with a violent jump, and then I said cheerfuly with rising my right index up high,''I promise my life I won't approach my lovely teacher throughout this trip.''

I couldn't keep ''lovely'' in my heart, so it was spilt out of my mouth. He narrowed his eyes and approached me threatining, so I giggled and started to take some steps out of the room.

I kept on laughing so hard that I lost the control on my breath. Then I stopped running away and he caught me. I begged for forgivness jokingly, and I went on trying to make him laugh and forget about my mistake.

Suddenly, he gently pushed me to the wall and encircled me with his long arms. I startled, and my heart skipped a beat.

When I looked up at him, I found him only gazing at me with a blank face. My lips started to shake when I opened them to talk, and I hardly swallowed my saliva. I felt some drops of my warm sweat moving slowly from my forehead towards my burning cheeks. My heartbeat increased rapidly,too, and I felt strange.

His eyes were not as usual; they seemed dead as a small pond of turbid water. As I felt that for the first time, I was really frightened. I even tried to look away, but I just couldn't. As if I was trapped by his odd eyes. 

''Oppa, would you please release me? I don't feel good.'' These words were slowly coming out of my mouth as I started to push him away.

I waited two seconds before he suddenly started to laugh out loud; I was totally shocked and even cried. I really cried because I felt strange.

Oppa went on laughing and tried to silence his laugh when he saw me shedding tears. He then explained in a kind tone,''Why are you crying my little baby? I think my punishment worked very well on you. Come her...-''

I slapped his hands before reaching me as I understood his game, and I cried out,''Oppa, I HATE YOU!''
He tried again to reach me and succeeded; he hugged me softly and explained,''Forgive me, hearty. I just wanted to teach you a lesson, and I think I used a wrong way. Sorry!''

I hit him on the chest and said in a blaming tone,''I was about to die; I don't know why I felt so, but I hate it.''I pulled away of his hug. Then he seriously asked,''Why Eunji? How did you felt?''

I innocently started to explain to him,''My heart was like...biting me really hard, and I had an odd pain on my stomach. I don't know...it was strange.''

He smiled lovingly, and his eyes became tearful when he said,''I felt the same, too; my heartbeat increased rapidly and I could hardly breathe.'' 

His eyes were turning to be the same as before, so I felt a little bit secure, but then, all out of sudden, we heard a klaxon and noisy sounds. 

It was obviously the school bus, and if we were not in such a situation, I would jump up and down excited about seeing my friends. I looked at oppa's face, and I've seen him staring at me. 

''Oppa~ please...stop scaring me. I...-'' He cut my words before finishing them, and stated smiling warmly,''Go meet your friends; I'd be here sleeping or reading if you wanted me.''

He uttered those words and disappeared in the kitchen probably to have a cup of water, which I needed even more than him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was really grateful that Kim seungsaeng-nim approved my participation in the school's activities.

It was a break time to have a look around and to contemplate, but Baekhyun, Sohyun, and I used it to have some talk about this and that.

''I am really happy that you could make it here, Eunji~yah.'' Sohyun stated excitedly with a wide smile drawn on her small face.

I replied with a small thin smile as I was not completely recovered of that shocking situation with oppa.

They are my best friends, and they know me very well; that's why they didn't skip it. Baekhyun stated,''You don't seem really excited as we thought you would be.''

''Yeah! Are you okay, Ji? Your face is bale,too. Are you sick or something?'' Sohyun has also stated after him stressing on his words.

I only shook my head to the right and left and then assured them,''I am okay~ I've just faced a strange incident minutes ago; don't worry about me.''

''Is it the dong-saeng thing?'' Sohyun hinted to the weird mobile by those words along with some winks and weird face gestures which made me roll on the floor laughing.

She started to laugh, too, but Baekhyun looked at the two of us with narrowed eyes and upset face. Then he asked,''What is that girls? Don't tell me you're hiding something~ I won't forgive you then unless you are planning to match me with a beautiful girl.''

I couldn't laugh down, so I wasn't able to give him an amswer. Sohyun could do that by stating briefly,''It's girls' stuff~ we can't tell you about it. Sorry!''

I laughed even harder and went on hitting her to stop speaking stupidely. ''You are both nuts~'' Baekhyun stood up with an angry face and walked away. 

Then we followed him to  make it up. I tightly surrounded his neck by my arms and Sohyun clung to his arm.

We walked together and had great fun, but when it was the lunch time, oppa called me to eat with him. We both unusually stayed silent, and I hated it so much.

However, what I hated the most was the gossip which I accidently heard going behind my back. 

''What a lucky she is...going around with Kim seungsaeng-nim and sleep with a handsome man.'', ''Yeah! She must have done really well in her previous life to get in this paradise.'', ''I even heard that she is the one who seduced our teacher to love her.'', ''She is totally a fox. I, at least, want that handsome man.'', ''She is such a dirty girl, I knew it!'', ''I bet she acts like a poor lovely girl to attract men; she got the talent.''

Giggling or cursing came after every statement of those. I was about to cry, but I tried to ignore them, and I kept my anger inside my heart.

Kim seungsaeng-nim held a meeting, and he talked about his plan for the camping. He assigned some students to go search for wood, others to prepare the place for us to set a fire and sit around it shaping a ring, and others to make food for us to have a barbecue.

I had to admit it... Sohyun was totally right about it, this teacher is so old-fashioned and never changes his ways. I gave Sohyun that look which means ''Let's choose the third option''. It's not that I like cooking or something, but I wanted the most relieving and the simpliest work.

However, she didn't understand my hint and chose the first option. I also would admit that she is really a dumbhead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two girls and I were charged to make the food for the group. Kim seungsaeng-nim stayed around us to make sure we were working well.

I felt bored as I couldn't have fun as I thought I would, so I huffed and puffed saying,''Uhhh~ that's so boring; I wish I chose to go to search for wood. Then...I shouldn't be treated like this because I am not a part of this stupid trip.''

I stated that nonchalntly, but I regreted it when I noticed that Kim seungsaeng-nim was approaching us, and I bet my life that he heard. Yes, he did!

''Who asked you to participate then? You came to my office and made trouble to ask me to erase your name, remember?'' He threw those words loudly and ironicly. 

I hated him and was about to make real trouble that time, too, but I calmed myself down.

He walked away; then the girls started to gossip and giggle. One of them turned to face me saying boldly,''You are really stupid...doing all that just to seduce our teacher, and it isn't working.''

I angrily glared at her silently, and then the other one got nerves to mumble,''Leave her; she is such a low  as they said.''

They got my goat already, so I attacked them and started a fight. Yeah! I needed to cool the fire inside my heart; they fed it and deserved what they got.

I went on hitting and slapping them till I felt a severe sudden pain on my left arm- under my shoulder a little bit. Then Kim seungsaeng-nim came and separated us. 

He was extremely angry and upset. Then other students gathered around us to see what was going on.

''Are you kids? What are you doing? Fighting like little spoild toddlers? You two come with me...and Eunji, call your...-'' Before completing his statement, oppa was there with a worried face gazing only at me.

''What's going on? What's with your hair and clothes, Eunji?'' Oppa stated while he was stepping towards me.

''Stay away, oppa.'' I shouted at him with a crying tone, and he obeyed. He was totally shocked, and so was I.

I didn't know why I wanted him to keep at a distance with me when I needed him the most. Was I affected by the strange situation he put me in early that morning? Or was it that I didn't want to approve the students' thoughts about me. I never cared about what people say about me; then was it the other option?

I heard Sohyun's voice approaching me in a worried tone,''Oh my God! you are bleeding? Who did that to you?'' She pointed to my left arm, and they all looked.

Oppa and the teacher came hurridly towards me; they both looked really worried.
Oppa explained that he would take care of me as they realised it was a small scratch caused by one of the girls' nail.

He took me to our cottage, and then Sohyun and Baekhyun followed us. 

I changed to a sleeveless shirt as oppa ordered me and waited him till he brought the first aid kit. 

I winced many times as he worked in sterilizing the scratch, and Sohyun was there to support me- Baekhyun only looked sadly at me.

I moan loudly when I felt as if my wound cought fire; it really hurt me so much. Oppa apologized, and Sohyun's eyes went tearful.

Baekhyun's reaction was really strange, though. He looked shocked gazing at my left armpit; I scolded him directly,''Hey~ what are you looking at, ert Baek?''

He blushed a bit and then said seriously,''That mark on your armpit...it is unique; I mean~ it has a unique shape.''

I laughed saying,''Yeah! I was amazed when I saw it, too. It is a birth mark I guess...it has an almost-heart shape. I bet my mother desired apples to eat when she was pregnant of me.''

Oppa was not there with us, so Sohyun took the chance to ask in a quiet tone,''Don't you want to meet your real parents? You have to start searching for them, then.''

''You know something...my grandmother told me about...-'' Baekhyun cut his words when oppa came towards us. He sat on a chair in front of me and glared at my eyes asking,''Who started that damn childish fight? Is it you?''

'Dirty', 'Fox', ''~ those words came across my mind, so I got fire in my heart. I wanted to scream at the top of my voice and explode the whole world. Yeah! I have never thought that I'd be descriped by those damn words. 

''YES!'' I said it with a full mouth intentionally and hoped that it may convey to oppa some of the wrath I carried inside my heart.

Sohyun and Baekhyun felt confused for being in that situation between us, so they excused to leave. We, oppa and I, stayed there gazing at each other angrily.

''You shouldn't have got down to that low level, Eunji. You know that...-'' He started rebuking me. Therefore, the anger inside me grew bigger. 

I know that he was worried about me and wanted me to be polite and good girl, but still...I wanted him to hug me tight and love me more. I am still a child, and I need that.  

''No...I don't know anything, neither do you. Yeah! All the girls cursed and gossiped me, but you didn't know or care to know. I bet you even don't know how it hurts to be called a ''. But you know what...they are right, anyway. I am a damn sleeping under the same roof with a handsome man and knowing nothing about...-'' I was fed up, and then I sobbed and yelled at his face. He was extremely shocked, and I could see his regretful face while bitting his lower lip.

He pulled me to his gentle hug, but I was really furious and tried to pull away. However, he surrounded me tightly and whispered in a firm tone,''Stay still, Ji. Just calm down for God's sake.''

I finally felt the relief I needed the whole annoying day. He finally gave me that space of love that I always called for; he is the only one who can give it to me.

He patted on my hair kindly saying,''I am sorry, hearty; since the beggining of it, I ruined your day which is supposed to be a full-of-fun one.''

''I don't care as you are making it up now.'' I whispered while I was burying head deeper into his chest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oppa told Kim seungsaeng-nim about the gossip that went behind my back and took me home. I found it the best idea as I felt really exhausted in the end of the day.

I apologized for my friends, and they understood my excuse very well. They even got so angry about what was running on the girls' tongues, and they promised to do their best to avenge me. I was grateful enough that they were so kind and affected by my pain, so I didn't need anything more. Ignoring the pain is always the right way to delete it out of my heart.

Once we arrived our house, oppa laid me down to sleep after placing a kiss on my forehead. His eyes seemed gloomy and almost tearful, so I grasped his arm and said quietly,''Oppa~ I love you.''

He smiled warmly at my innocent statement and then whispered softly,''I love you, too, my lovely Ji.'' And then left.

I released a deep long sigh, and suddenly those moments I had with oppa early today flashed into my mind. I placed my hand on my chest and could feel my heart racing like a horse on a field. I could feel something different crawling slowly into my naive heart.

Out of the blue, I heard the familiar tone coming from my bag; It was the weird man's mobile. I got up to pick it and then exposed the message to read it,''If you didn't answer me, I would spend the whole night crying, so please just answer my call and stay silent. Just listen to my heart...please hyung!''

I didn't have enough time to think or analyse the content of that message because I directly recieved his call.

Part of me wanted to ignore it, but the other part badly asked me to answer. If I didn't, then that dongsaeng would feel so bad, and I somehow didn't want him to feel so.

I cupped my mouth to prevent any single sound that may go out of it, and tapped on the answer option.

''Hyung~ I am really tired; I just wanted to have her and love her for the rest of my life, but why it is so hard for me?'' He was sobbing out, and he even paused for seconds to take a deep breath.

I got completely shocked and bewlidered since he started speaking...that voice...I know it very well. My oppa's...I am sure it was oppa's voice. I can distinguish it between thousands of voices. But why? And how?
''The woman I caused pain to is coming soon, and the girl I am in love with is being hurt because of me...what to do? You won't answer, but let me say this...you should never blame yourself on what I have done; it is entirely my fault.'' He went on speaking while crying like a little child whose parents were gone.

I whispered sadly to myself while the tears were going down on my warm cheeks,''What's going on? Why is oppa like that? Is this related to his old pain.''

I couldn't bear it anymore, so I ended up the call, wiped my tears, and walked out of my room going towards oppa's room.

I knocked on the door with little force waiting for him. After long seconds, he opened it looking at me amazedly and asking in a very soft and caring tone,''Why aren't you sleeping yet, my love? Are you sick or confused? Are you...-''

He didn't complete his words as I clinged to him surrounding his waist by my arms and resting my head on his chest.

''Oppa~ please let me sleep with you tonight; I beg you.'' It maight be because I was really uneasy, or it might be because I didn't want oppa to cry alone in his dark room.

Yeah! I had tons of questions for him, and yeah I was confused by those strange and weird things happening around me, but the most important thing was -and will always be- my only oppa, my only one and my everything. 

Yet...there is something called 'TOMORROW', and till that day...I will love and care about oppa as I care about myself. Therefore, that day...I didn't allow him to cry alone because I glued to him and, just like when I was a child, slept between his warm arms despite all those feelings I got inside my heart. Yeah! I was happy enough to be with him no matter what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the sixth chapter~ I am glad and sad in the same time. My heart is crying because this story is going for its . Yeah! I am crazy because I very much get connected with the story and its characters. I am also sad for what is happening to Eunji and Seungho. I understand them more than you, but you are going to feel the same as I feel when you know the whole story^^

Anyway, enjoy reading.
Thanx