I’m meant to be meeting the lung donor now, but they’re already four minutes late. To the world, a few minutes could be spared; but to Chanyeol and me, those few minutes could be the invisible line between life and death. The seat is incredibly uncomfortable, the cushioning is off, the wooden frame is creaky, and the fabric is already peeling. I alter from one position to the other, tugging on my pants every time I get a wedgie.

  Another minute passes.

  I twitch and look up to the doctor who called me who is tapping away on his laptop, oblivious to the ticking hands of the clock. I cough to get his attention, but he doesn’t budge. He simple glances at me from the corner of his eye, nods, and continues his work. I place my left leg on top of my right and I cross my arms, and yet I receive no response from him.

  “Chanyeol doesn’t have all the time in the world!” I break and my impatience spews out as I throw my fists onto the table, shocking the doctor to knock over his mug of coffee.

  Just now, the door opens.

  My sight flickers to the clock again.

  Seven minutes late.

  A woman with unkempt hair and a blue dress stumbles in, holding on the door handle for balance. Her lips tighten into a false smile and she bows, hands clutching the sides of her clothes. She’s around her early thirties. Thirty. Why would someone only in their thirties want to give up their life, especially for some stranger? The woman bows again, “I’m so sorry I’m late.”

  The voice chimes in my head: seven minutes late.

  She falls into the seat beside me and shakes my hand, “I’m Jane. So sorry. My sons needed to be dropped off at school and-”

  Wait.

  Sons?

  I freeze halfway through the handshake, my grip tenses, I whisper, “Sons?” I turn to the doctor, “You would be willing to let her give her lungs away? She has sons to take care of!”

  The doctor adjusts his glasses, “And you have your brother to take care of.”

  She lets go of my hands and wipes her sweaty palms on her legs, “Don’t worry, dear. He has my consent.” Jane nodes and smiles slightly and I make eye contact with her. She has grey, dull eyes which seem like they’ve given up long ago, and she has a permanent crease between her eyebrows. Everywhere I look on her face reads stress. Everywhere I look, I’m reminded that she will die for Chanyeol.

  “Why?” I croak, resting my hand on her bony shoulder.

  “I’m the person you have been searching for, and are you trying to make me doubt my actions?” She giggles with a hoarse and dry breath, “My, you have a kind heart.” Jane runs her fingers through my hair and tucks a strand behind my ear, “Just let this be.”

  “No.”

  Everyone halts in their seats.

  “In order for this operation to begin, you need my permission too. If you don’t have my permission, you can’t donate your lung to my brother. I am his legal guardian and I have the right to deny your donation. You deserve to live as much as my brother does.” The doctor and Jane gasps and my stomach churns.

  Sometimes what you want to do isn’t the right thing to do.  

  “Jane,” the doctor intervenes as he rises from his seat, “I will give you a call for further meetings. This news came as a surprise for Jennifer and I’m sure everything she has said today was out of impulse. I will organise you two to discuss the donation, but for now, may you have a safe trip home and I shall discuss with Jennifer.” The doctor guides Jane to the door and she turns around once more.

  Jane rests her palm on the door and bows, “Jennifer, I know you want Chanyeol to live, but I don’t know why you’re stopping this from happening. Think about this: why did you endure so much pain, only to turn back at the last minute. I can give you all you want…”

  “...but is it what you want?”

  Jane in a breath and I see her ball her hands into fists by her side while digging her teeth into her bottom lip. I look down at the white floor, placing my hands on my lap. Until Jane gives me a reasonable explanation for her donating her lungs, I won’t allow it.

  “Yes.” I raise my head after hearing the little peep of Jane’s voice, she sighs, “This is what I want.”

  “Why did you go off and do that?” The doctor rubs his temples and collapses into his chair, hitting his head on the desk. “Don’t you want to do something good for Chanyeol? Don’t you want him to live? He’s your brother for goodness sake!” Flushed with frustration, he throws his paperworks onto the floor. “Next time you see Jane, just go with it. She wants this to happen, don’t you?”

  I glance out the door, watching Jane’s silhouette fade into the white hallway. Fading, diminishing, just like how her life will be given to my brother.

  “Actually doctor, I want to do what’s right.”

  “So saving your TWIN BROTHER isn’t right?” He leans closer and I feel his heavy breath weigh down on me.

  “No, taking someone else’s life isn’t.”

  The doctor groans  and falls back into his chair, “He’s going to die now.”

  I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek. I smile, and with acceptance, I gaze at the clock, “He was always going to.”