Fixing The Sun Side Story: Jessica.

If Love Is Forever, Your Forever Is All I Need.

Jessica didn’t enjoy the way the sunlight slipped through the cracks in her blinds. It interrupted her sleep, and on the list of unforgivable things that she had, interrupting her sleep was at the very top. Groggily, she patted her nightstand and somehow managed to clasp her hands around her phone while keeping her face buried in her pillow. Straining to open her eyes, she could barely make out the time on her iPhone’s lock screen.

12:42pm.

Jessica groaned out loud. She overslept again. She had promised Hara that she would have lunch with the Kara member, and she even reassured her friend that she would be able to wake up on time. She somehow underestimated her own ability to sleep through 3 alarms. How on earth did she used to make it to schedules when she was an idol?

The American searched for her friend’s number on her phone with one eye open, not bothering to lift her head from her pillow. For some weird reason she checked her breath before calling Hara even though there was no way the person on the other end of the phone could have been bothered if it didn’t smell good. Jessica was just oddly meticulous in that sense.

“Unnie!” She heard being yelled out on the other end of the phone causing the blonde to recoil sharply away from the receiver.

“Hey Hara….” Jessica sleepily droned.

“Unnie you overslept again didn’t you?!” Hara rightly accused, but she sounded more amused than angry.

“Yeah I’m sorry. Are you still up for a late lunch?”

“Nope I’m not talking to you anymore. I haven’t seen you ever since you decided to lock yourself up in your house two weeks ago.”

“Oh c’mon don’t be like that. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day. I’ll set 5 alarms next time! I’m sorry!”

“I’m just kidding unnie. I really can’t make it now though. I have a schedule to keep, unlike somebody I know.” Hara teased, and Jessica couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed.

“Yah! You make it sound like I’m jobless!”

“Well ever since you stopped becoming an idol you’ve been doing nothing but watching TV in your house. Yeah, Krystal tells me how you laze about! Does that sound like someone who has a job? Have you even showered?” Jessica cringed at hearing her close friend lecture her through the phone.

“Hara for someone younger than me you’re acting very ‘Mom’–ish right now. Just thought you should know. And I’m going to shower right now!”

“Maybe you need someone like me to kick you out of the house! Krystal is a bit too soft on you. Anyways I have to go now unnie! See you soon love you!”

“Yeah see you soon you rascal.” Jessica said and listened as Hara ended the call.

Jessica got up and made her way to the bathroom, stopping for a second to check on her reflection in the vanity. It felt weird for her. It was almost as if she lost that glow that she used to have as an idol. It had been two weeks since she was dropped from the group that she had dedicated more than half her life to, and she had gone through a whirlwind of emotions. Now she’s settled on this calm and content feeling that felt slightly misplaced given her situation. She found that she actually enjoyed the break she’s having, but she was also well aware that if the break were to extend for a longer period she would drive herself crazy.

Running her hand through her silky but unkempt hair, she grabbed a towel from it’s hanger and went off to clean herself and start the day.

************************************************

Jessica was comfortably settled into the nest she had made for herself over the past few weeks on her large living room couch, watching reruns of past shows that she never had the time to watch. She mentally scoffed at herself for doing exactly what Hara told her not to do, but she could hardly care less. You hand Dobby a sock, he’ll watch TV. Jessica had too much time and freedom on her hands currently.

She flipped the channel over to SBS and stared wide-eyed as she saw herself on the large screen in front of her. Only she looked much, much younger and carefree. It was during her solo appearance as a guest on Running Man’s third episode. The American watched with fascinated eyes as she was tossed into a swimming pool and she laughed out loud at herself when she realized how much she was complaining on the show.

It suddenly dawned on her that she probably wouldn’t ever get the chance to guest on a variety show like this again. They don’t usually invite former idols do they? Maybe they would if she got married and had a kid. That seemed to be the only way for former idols to get back into the spotlight lately. Sighing, Jessica realized that her train of thought was going into a space of negativity that she had prohibited herself from entering and she immediately switched the channel.

Positive thoughts. Think positive thoughts.

She heard a distant jingling of keys and the front door being opened, and Jessica looked away from the TV in the direction of the sound. Only one other person had the keys to this house, but it was a bit too early for her to be back. Jessica raised an eyebrow as her sister came into view, a frown forming on her pretty face as she observed Jessica laying on the couch in front of her. The younger Jung made her way to her sister, tossing her coat onto the dining chair en route before collapsing beside Jessica. Krystal curled up into the seat and snuggled closer to her sister, burying her face into Jessica’s shoulder.

“You’re back early. Is everything okay?” Jessica gently asked her sister, who admittedly looked ridiculously adorable with her face hidden away behind her shoulder and a curtain of hair.

“Shut up and just hold me unnie.” Krystal commanded, and Jessica obliged. Krystal used to cuddle up to her like this whenever she was upset as a kid, but as they grew older and got busier, the pair never had much time to spend with each other like this. That all changed when Jessica moved out of the SNSD dorm and started living with her sister again however. Them being able to spend more time together was another hidden blessing of leaving idol life.

Krystal separated from her sister after awhile, and landed a jab onto the shoulder she was previously nestled in, causing Jessica to yelp in surprise and pain.

“Ow what was that for?!”

“Nothing. I just needed to get rid of some frustrations.”

“Couldn’t you do it in a not-so-violent way? How about Yoga? I heard Yoga is good for stuff like that.”

“Nah. Not my style. Speaking of Yoga, Yuri unnie didn’t stop by today?” Krystal asked, looking around and noticing the familiar woman wasn’t in the kitchen preparing her sister a meal like she usually is.

“Nope. I told her not to come.” Jessica simply answered, bringing her attention back to the TV, ignoring the look Krystal was giving her.

“Wow. That’s harsh. Break her heart why don’t you?”

Jessica sighed.

“She has her job to do Soojung. She shouldn’t be skipping training just to cook me lunch.”

“She only does that because you’re a wreck and you refuse to admit it.”

“Don’t give me that. People who are wrecks usually have bags under their eyes, wear nothing but sweats and eat ice cream constantly. I’m doing none of that. I’m fine.”

“Wow are we in Egypt right now? Because all I see is you swimming in denial. You’re like a fancy sports car. You just crash more elegantly than other people.” Krystal replied, but Jessica just rolled her eyes and looked away. She wasn’t a wreck, she’s just been having issues getting motivated to start making new designs for her fashion line. The world should just give her a break.

“What happened at work? Why are you back early?” Jessica attempted to change the topic, and succeeded.

“Got into an argument with Amber. Didn’t feel like practicing after that.” Krystal complained while getting up and walking towards the kitchen.

“You fought with Amber?! Wow that’s new. Must have been some topic. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything! SHE was the one being insensitive!”

Krystal shouted while in the middle of opening the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of juice and roughly tore the cap off, spilling some of it’s contents on the counter and took a few sips before continuing.

“She told me she wanted to do a solo album, and she was going to ask that Taeyeon to feature in it. URGHH!” Krystal dramatically flailed her arms about and leaned back on the counter, wiping the juice that she accidentally spilled with her hand.

Jessica’s stomach did a few backflips and acrobatic acts at the mention of that name. She swallowed any words she was about to say however and proceeded to put on the most confused face ever, as if she didn’t already know the answer to the question she was about to ask.

“So? What’s wrong with that? Taeng is an amazing singer.”

“Oh don’t give me that unnie! How can Amber even think of doing that after what that woman did to you!”

“Soojung you have to watch your words. She’s still your sunbae and the leader of the most successful girl group in the world since the Spice Girls. I can say that now without sounding like I’m bragging because I’m not in that group anymore.” Jessica stated with a smug smile.

“Pfft. You still sound like you’re bragging. I just don’t like her. She broke your heart.”

“Yeah, I don’t like her either.”

“Stop lying. I saw you spacing out when I mentioned her name.” Krystal grinned cheekily and had to dodge the cushion that was flung at her which ended up hitting the cabinet behind her.

“Shut up you little rascal.” Jessica muttered while trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. She’s had it up to here with all these kids pestering her today.

************************************************

“Who are they Soojung?” Jessica nudged her groggy sister awake and pointed to the TV, currently showing a group of 7 very leggy and gorgeous women singing a song about being a cat or something. The song wasn’t really her cup of tea, but she could see the appeal in it. They were just one of those y concept groups that is getting more and more popular lately.

“Huh? Oh. AOA. Stands for Ace of Angels. They’re supposed to be like, sent from heaven or something.” Came Krystal’s disinterested answer.

Jessica just raised her eyebrows at this. Well, being angels was a huge step up from the Girls Generation members trying to be Genies at one point. Angels are much more revered than genies.

“Have you really not heard of them? Wow. You’ve really been living under a rock. Either that or I guess it’s true when they say that the people on top don’t look at what’s below them.” Krystal sister, because she knew those kind of comments always managed to get a rise out of Jessica.

“Excuse me! Of course I’ve heard of them! I’ve just never been able to match the name with any faces. They’re….very attractive ladies.” Jessica admitted with a small blush on her cheeks.

“Urghh please wipe the drool from your chin.” Krystal rolled her eyes at her sister checking out the girls on the screen but yelped when her sister used the cushion next to her as a weapon yet again, this time meeting it’s mark.

“Soojung-ah.”

“…What? I’m trying to nap.”

“How far do you think these AOA girls are from SNSD’s level?”

Krystal sat up at her sister’s question and eyed Jessica suspiciously, as if wondering where the question came from.

“What kind of question is that? Not even close! You guys are like, S class while AOA is still B-level at most. Why do you ask?”

“Oh nothing. Just wondering when will the new generation finally take over and make us redundant. We’ve been around for quite awhile.” Jessica voiced out her thoughts. She was only this vocal around very few people who are close to her, but she was legitimately wondering how long could she have gone in SNSD before the new generation outshines them.

“Shinhwa has been around for like what, 20 years now? Might be an exaggeration but you get the point. SNSD won’t be replaced so easily. Besides, AOA will have to get through F(x) if they want to take the title of kpop queens!” Krystal smugly said while beating her chest. It seems like the younger Jung had no problems being proud of her group’s accomplishments.

“Yeah but F(x) is sorta ancient too now.” It was Jessica’s turn to sister, but immediately regretted it when Krystal landed a kick on her thigh.

“Who are you calling ancient you fossil?!”

The pair wrestled about on the large couch for a few minutes, throwing cushions and blankets at each other. The sound of the doorbell eventually broke the pair apart, leaving them panting and breathless.

“Go get it Soo.”

Krystal grumbled but got up to answer the door nonetheless.

Jessica turned her attention back to the TV as her sister’s back disappeared around the corner. Assuming it was just the mailman or something, she absentmindedly started switching channels again. She really needed to get started on designing for her clothing line, but for some reason she wasn’t exactly feeling inspired to design. The sketchbook on her work table having barely been opened in the last few days.

‘What is taking her so long?’ Jessica wondered as her sister still hadn’t returned yet.

“….and you think I’m going to let you just come in here?!” Jessica heard her sister’s voice suddenly rise up from the entrance. Who on earth was she talking to? What was going on?

“Who is it Soojung?” Jessica called out to her sister, growing slightly worried.

“Nobody important!” Krystal responded back but Jessica had already gotten up to see what was going on, curiosity having gotten the best of her.

Krystal’s voice grew louder as she rounded the corner, and she could see her sister standing in front of the door facing somebody, but that person was obstructed by Krystal’s figure. Krystal shifted her head for a brief second, but that was all the time Jessica needed to process who was standing outside the door. She would never be able to forget that face, although she had tried her best to do so in the past few weeks she had holed herself up in the house.

“Taeng…” The name rolled off Jessica’s tongue barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough for Krystal and Taeyeon to stop what they were bickering about and turn their attention towards the blonde now standing rooted to the spot wearing an expression that was a combination of disbelief, bewilderment and awe.

“Hi Jessica.” Taeyeon replied with a small smile on her lips, and Krystal just stared exasperatedly at the pair of them.

“Urgh. She’s got those hearts in her eyes again. Alright, fine unnie. I’m going to go for a drive or something. I can’t stand being around this woman, not after what she did to you.” Krystal grumbled and walked past a still stunned Jessica to grab her coat and keys, but paused beside her sister on the way out.

“Are you going to be okay?” Krystal tenderly asked, and her sister could only nod slowly.

That was good enough for Krystal, and the younger Jung pushed past Taeyeon who was still in the doorway, glaring at the SNSD leader all the while and walked out of the apartment.

There was an awkward and deafening silence between the pair as Taeyeon stepped in and closed the door behind her, eyes fixed on the unmoving figure in front of her. The leader of the top girl group in the world, eyes trained on the member she had chosen to kick out.

“Hey Jess.” Taeyeon broke the silence, and Jessica noticeably spasmed and twitched slightly, body not knowing how to react to that sweet voice calling her name again.

“Hey Taeyeon.” Jessica somehow managed to choke out startling herself by how close to a sob it sounded, and moved aside to lead her former leader into the living room, where she immediately regretted creating a nest of blankets and pillows.

“Take a seat. I’ll uh…make you some coffee.” Jessica said and busied herself to the adjoining kitchen area of the apartment.

“How have you been?” Jessica heard Taeyeon ask, and that simple question inquiring about her well-being managed to make Jessica’s insides flutter.

“I’ve been good. Yourself? How are the rest of the members?” Jessica asked as she tapped her fingers on the counter, waiting for the water to boil.

“We’ve been good as well. I’m sure you heard about Soo Man-nim’s wife? Sunny has been pretty distraught about the passing of her aunt. Luckily Hyomin has been over to take care of her and make her feel better.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. I’ve sent my condolences. Poor Sunny has been going through a lot lately.” Jessica replied.

“Is it wrong for me to say that I’ve missed you in the dorms?” Taeyeon asked, and Jessica was not familiar with this tone of uncertainty behind her former leader’s voice. She was always so headstrong and collected.

“Yeah it’s kind of wrong. I mean, you’re the one that kicked me out didn’t you?” Jessica tried to brush it off with a laugh, but she didn’t expect the heavy silence that Taeyeon responded with. Was the blunt truth a bit too far?

Jessica brought the mugs of coffee to Taeyeon and was surprised to see the girl in front of her with her head down, hair obstructing her face so that Jessica wasn’t able to read her expression.

“Taeng? Is everything okay?”

“I just…I came over to apologize Jess. I’m so sorry things turned out this way.”

Jessica just smiled slightly at Taeyeon’s apology. To be honest, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. An apology was nice, but she didn’t really need Taeyeon to say sorry to her. All that didn’t matter now, because the woman that she was madly in love with was right here in front of her.

“It’s okay Taeng. I forgive you.”

Taeyeon looked up and her watery eyes met Jessica’s and Jessica’s breath caught in . She was fortunate enough to be one of the few people in the world that has had the pleasure of seeing Taeyeon without the mask and front that she puts up, and the girl that was often times cowering behind it was the most beautiful person Jessica knew, and here she was falling in love all over again.

“I really only wanted what was best for you.” Taeyeon continued.

What was best for her. ‘You are what’s best for me.’ Jessica thought, but then again Taeng was also the reason her heart had hurt so much, and has continued to hurt all this while.

“Well, you were right. I have a lot more freedom now. A lot more time to do what I want! I can design my clothes now. I can also spend more time with Soojung. I have everything I can ask for right now.”

But I don’t have you.

Taeyeon nodded and took a few sips from her coffee, smiling slightly as she commented on how Jessica remembered exactly how she liked it.

“Jess…may I ask, exactly how long have you been….have you felt…”

“How long have I been in love with you?” Jessica helped Taeyeon finish her question, and the older girl was slightly taken aback by the bluntness of it.

“Well, a long time ago, a young girl struggled to keep up with dance practice. It made no sense to her why she couldn’t remember the dance moves since she had been training for a few years already. Way longer than all the other trainees. Just when she was sitting on a bench outside the dance studio about to give up, this girl who looked waaay younger than her came up to her and offered her a bottle of water. This new girl had the prettiest smile she had ever seen, and the newbie had the gall to tell her to not give up and get back to practice, or else she would kick my —I mean her .” Jessica giggled slightly at the slip of her tongue.

“Well, the girl who originally wanted to give up was mesmerized by the beauty in front of her. She decided to come to practice more often in hopes of being able to see that girl again. She came everyday, then eventually days became years, and finally they debuted in the same group together, with that beautiful stranger becoming her leader and best friend.”

Taeyeon just stared wide-eyed as she listened to Jessica’s story as bits and pieces of the puzzle in her brain clicked into place.

“I’m so stupid. I’m sorry I never realized.” Taeyeon finally said, eyes clenched and mentally berating herself.

“No you’re not! You’re not stupid Kim Taeyeon! It is what it is. It was better that you didn’t know.” Jessica rationalized as the girl in front of her buried her face in her hands.

“Yknow…I’ve always wanted to say this Taeng. I never had the guts to though, but I guess it doesn’t really matter now. I just really need to say these words at least once in my life to give myself that peace of mind I need.”

Taeyeon looked up from her hands and stared confused and slightly wide-eyed as the American in front of her shed tears down her cheeks and shook in her seat. Their eyes locked and Taeyeon waited for Jessica to speak, although it looked like the words were too big to pass through so there was an evident struggle.

“I love you Kim Taeyeon.”

The tears spilled freely from Jessica ‘s eyes now, but she had a smile on her face. She looked satisfied, as if a weight was just lifted off her chest. Years and years of pent up emotions trailed down her cheeks, and a few tears made their way down from Taeyeon’s eyes as well at the confession.

Taeyeon moved in to hug her close friend, but Jessica recoiled away immediately. Taeyeon couldn’t help but hide the hurt on her face.

“I’m sorry Taeng. It’s just that, if you were to touch me right now….I might end up doing something that I’ll regret.”

Taeyeon’s eyes softened considerably, but there was an expression behind it that Jessica could not read. Her former leader approached her again, slower this time. Her hand extended slowly towards Jessica’s face, as if daring her to stop the approach. Taeyeon gently wiped the tears away from Jessica’s cheeks with her thumb and whispered almost inaudibly.

“Then let’s do something that we will both regret together.”

Jessica could only blink in incomprehension. What did Taeyeon say? Did she just…? Was she suggesting….?

“No!” Jessica roughly pushed Taeyeon’s hand away and backed up considerably away from Taeyeon, trying to understand the surprised look that tinted the face of the girl she loved.

“What are you doing to me Taeyeon?! You can’t just suggest what I think you’re suggesting and then walk out the door right after! Don’t play games with me! Don’t you think I’ve suffered enough?! You have a boyfriend! Unless…”

Could it be? Could they have broken up? Could Taeyeon have come here because she was actually single, and that she suddenly realized her feelings for her?

“No…we are still together.” Taeyeon simply stated, crushing Jessica’s hopes. Of course. This wasn’t a cheap romance movie wherein the two leads find out they were in love with each other the whole time.

“Then…why? Why are you doing this to me? To us? It’s just so selfish of you Taeyeon.”

“I’m offering you closure, if you wish to take it. I’m sorry to assume, but I’m offering to remove any regrets you might have in the future. All those years of you…wanting to be with me, just for this moment. Just for these few short minutes. And then we can move forward, no regrets.” Taeyeon stated, eyes locked firmly onto Jessica’s, and there was an undeniable fire behind these orbs that seemed to engulf Jessica’s very being.

 Wait, did she say ‘we’ can move forward?

Jessica hesitantly moved towards Taeyeon until she was seated next to her on the couch. The tension in the air was thick and heavy, but it was the determined fire burning behind Taeyeon’s eyes that got to Jessica.

“No more regrets.” Jessica whispered, more to herself than to the girl opposite her.

“No more regrets.” Taeyeon repeated.

“All those years…” Jessica muttered, trying to rationalize the situation.

“Kiss me Jessica.”

And with that, all rationality was thrown out the window of her 12 story apartment.

Jessica brought her hands to cup Taeyeon’s beautiful face, and kissed her. She kissed Taeyeon with all she had. All of those years of wanting this, needing this, the girl that she was dreaming of ever since she was a little girl, Jessica kissed Taeyeon like her life depended on it. She subconsciously felt arms wrap around her neck, and Jessica Taeyeon’s bottom lip to gain entry, which the girl gladly gave.

Those lips that felt so perfect against hers, Jessica sought hard to memorize the feel of them, the way they tasted. She wanted to memorize every sound Taeyeon made, the way that she moaned when Jessica on her lip, the way her former leader’s back arched when their tongues caressed, The feeling of having the smaller girl’s body pressed against hers so tightly that there was no room between them. Taeyeon slowly sunk back and laid down, dragging Jessica to be on top of her. It was a fascinating thing, for Taeyeon who always needed to have control, was now surrendering it to Jessica.

Jessica ravished the neck of the girl underneath her, needing to drag Taeyeon down to the depths of her depravity, to the monochrome world Jessica had built for herself where the sun was silent and the only light came from thinking of the girl that was currently kissing her back like she had been needing this just as badly. Jessica wanted Taeyeon to know how desperately she needed her, so bad that the girl practically had her name burned into from throatily crying it out on those lonely nights when Taeyeon went out with her boyfriend.

The buttons on Taeyeon’s blouse were deftly undone by expert fingers as Jessica claimed her lips once more, hands freely roaming underneath clothes, squeezing, caressing, grasping any and every inch of skin they could manage. Jessica’s lips never leaving Taeyeon’s, until finally the kid leader pulled away, gasping and the remains of a moan still fresh from leaving her lips.

“That’s…..t-that’s enough Jessica.” Taeyeon stated, and Jessica nodded in understanding. They might have let themselves get too carried away.

The pair sat on the couch, noticing the way their hair was in disarray as a result of roaming and desperate fingers, and the disheveled state their clothes were in. Taeyeon blushed a deep crimson as she realized that she was practically topless, and sheepishly buttoned up her blouse.

“I’ve never been kissed like that before.” Taeyeon admitted.

“Neither have I.” Jessica agreed.

“So…this makes us friends again?” Taeyeon needed to clarify.

“Yeah. We’re back to being just best friends.” Jessica smiled, understanding that this was a one time thing.

There was an awkward silence that filled the air. Jessica was unsure what to do. What are they supposed to do now? Hug each other? Give each other a fist bump? The American had somehow forgotten how to be ‘just friends’ with Taeyeon after only one kiss. The confusing thing was, Taeyeon looked just as lost.

“I’m…I have to go.” Taeyeon finally said, the blush never leaving her cheeks. Jessica got up to follow Taeyeon to the door to see her off.

“Your…eyelashes are longer than I thought they were….Aish! What am I saying! I’ll see you around Jessica.” Taeyeon rambled, and off she went, closing the door behind her.

Jessica scanned the now empty apartment, and her feet immediately dragged her back to her work table where her sketchbook was. She smiled as she flipped to an empty page, and began to draft a design on it.

It looked like she finally found her inspiration.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Have you ever had that moment, where you just wrote what you assumed to be the best chapter you've ever written in your life so now you have this crisis where you feel like you'll never be able to top it no matter how hard you try? That's how I feel for this chapter. This is by far one of the best chapter's I've ever written and I have to say I'm really proud of it. Funny how my best work is one that is a spinoff from the main story, but we all need a break right? 

I sort of promised Taengsic, and this might not be Taengsic in the most traditional of ways but this was what made sense to me. I sort of threw details out the window at this point though. I'm pretty sure AOA's Like A Cat did not come out around the time Jessica left SNSD, and I didn't even watch Jessica and Krystal's show so I couldn't add in any details or references based on their relationship. Do Jessica and Krystal even live in an apartment? I don't know! I think it all worked out somehow tho. :)

The next chapter is a bit of JackJi, since this fic is coming to an end and I decided to tie up some loose ends in regards to relationships. The Sunbyung will come, as there will be a bit of it in the next chapter as well so don't worry. This is still a Sunbyung fic after all. :D Hope you enjoyed this little side story though.

Big shoutout to Echimcanhcut (Hope I spelled your name right) for the upvote! You're a star! Also thank you so much to everyone who subscribed and commented. This fic has taken up a pretty significant portion of my daily life, and I'm very grateful that all of you are here with me. :)

P/S: My future fic might/might not be a Jessica x Hayoung fic. Why Hayoung? I don't know. I don't even know a lot about Apink. I don't even listen to them. It just came to me one day. I might get started on it once I have a scenario that doesn't sound like it was roughly thrown together for the sake of a fic.