If It Wasn't For You

Fixing The Sun

Hyomin had no idea how much time has passed since she woke up. Time didn’t seem to be much of a concern for her right now. She was in her own form of eternity just watching her girlfriend sleep next to her. The way Sunny’s face looked so serene and at peace made her wish that Seoul would just be still for the rest of the day so that the girl she loved could sleep undisturbed and continue to have that relaxed expression on her features.

 

Hyomin wondered what Sunny was currently dreaming about. A little part of her wished that it was about her, but that might have been wishful thinking. People can’t control what they dream about anyways. The T-ara member reached out and fixed the covers because she noticed her girlfriend shiver slightly due to the chilly weather outside seeping it’s way into the bedroom.

 

Girlfriend. Sunny was her girlfriend. Hyomin couldn’t help but smile at the thought. She must have saved a nation in her previous life for her to be able to call someone as amazing as Girls’ Generation’s Sunny as her significant other. Someone as wonderful and thoughtful, and someone who understood her completely. It hurt her so much whenever Sunny was sad, and unfortunately Sunny was bearing that emotion a little bit more frequently lately.

 

Hyomin thought back to just a few nights ago at her apartment when Sunny received that phone call from Yoona. She remembered how Sunny let her phone slip from her fingers with a shocked expression engrained onto her face, hearing the dull thud as the mobile hit the floor and seeing Sunny crumple down after it soon after like a house of cards caught in a typhoon. She will never forget that expression on Sunny’s face. She looked so loss and broken, fingers clawing into Hyomin’s clothes as she screamed for tears that never came.

 

It was the most heartbreaking thing that Hyomin had ever seen. She only found out the morning after the cause for Sunny’s reaction when Soyeon called her and told her to read the news. It was the nation’s girl group, so it was no wonder that news of Jessica’s departure would make it to the front page of every newspaper and news portal, knocking back any other event that happened that day. Hyomin remembered breaking down and crying then in front of her laptop, wondering what her good friends in SNSD were going through at the moment. Her own group had gone through their fair share of members leaving, so she can begin to understand the pain, but Areum and Hwayoung didn’t exactly have the same sisterly bond with the T-ara members that Jessica has with SNSD. Had.

 

Sunny stirred slightly in her sleep, and Hyomin decided that maybe she should go down to the kitchen to prepare something for her girlfriend to eat. It was nearly 12pm and she was willing to bet that Sunny would be waking up hungry.

 

Hyomin gently got up from the bed to avoid disturbing the angel sleeping next to her. The large house was silent, and it felt slightly odd to Hyomin. She left the room as quietly as she can, and noticed that there was nobody else at home. They must have left for their own schedules, leaving Hyomin and Sunny as the only inhabitants of the large house. The sudden realization of how much privacy the both of them had caused Hyomin to blush slightly and she shook her head to dispel any impure thoughts. This wasn’t her house. She shouldn’t be taking advantage of their hospitality.

 

As Hyomin neared the room shared by YoungJi, Nana and Gook Ju, she could hear movement and words being spoken on the other side through the slightly ajar door. She guessed she wasn’t alone after all.

 

Curious, Hyomin approached the door to try to identify who was behind it, making out shreds of conversation.

 

“…..and I told you exactly how I feel Young Ji.” Hyomin heard a male’s voice speak.

 

“ You make it sound so easy Jackson. You know it isn’t.” Young Ji then spoke up.

 

“You’re just making it sound harder than it is. You’re avoiding the subject.” Jackson retorted.

 

“No I’m not! You keep assuming things!”

 

“Maybe I do, but look at me and tell me exactly what you think. Stop avoiding the subject, and stop avoiding me.” Jackson’s voice had an air of finality to it.

 

“I’m just not good at expressing what I think sometimes Jackson. It’s not easy for me.”

 

“Of course it is. You’re just not trying hard enough. Here, let me help you.”

 

There was a slight feminine yelp followed by a muffled moan and the creaking of bedsprings, and Hyomin dashed away from the door as swiftly as she could, blushing furiously. She had no idea what she had accidentally stumbled upon and she sure as hell didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. She didn’t even know the two kids in the house saw each other in that way. She always assumed it was just a close friendship between them.

 

Finding herself back in front of Sunny’s door, Hyomin decided that maybe she should get Sunny out of the house and leave the two maknaes to do their own thing. Hyomin sure didn’t feel comfortable being in the same house knowing that something could actually be going on in one of the bedrooms.

 

Thankfully Sunny was already awake when Hyomin opened the door and entered the bedroom. The shorter girl was sitting up in her bed with her hair sticking out in odd angles, staring at the opposite wall while trying her best to open her heavy eyes.

 

“Morning cutie.” Hyomin said, catching Sunny’s attention and causing a goofy grin to appear on the shorter girl’s face.

 

“Heyyy Minnieee~” Sunny drawled before stretching her limbs.

 

“Time to get up. You’ve been sleeping for ages.” Hyomin sat down next to Sunny, and the shorter girl scooted over to make room.

 

“I’m hungry.” Hyomin knew it.

 

“I figured as much. Go and take a shower, and you can give me a tour of the neighborhood right after. Show me where all the good eating spots are.”

 

“Can’t we just order in? Let’s just stay home today.” Sunny pouted and whined.

 

“What is there to do in this house? Nobody else is at home….except for Young Ji and Jackson.” Hyomin finished, suddenly remembering the conversation she overheard earlier and trying her best not to imagine what was currently going on in that bedroom now.

 

“There’s a karaoke machine. Or we could play darts! Or we could entertain ourselves….” Sunny put her arms around Hyomin’s neck and brought their faces closer to each other so that Hyomin could see that smoldering fire behind the bunny’s eyes.

 

“Using other means.” Sunny finished suggestively.

 

Hyomin couldn’t deny that Sunny’s words sounded mighty tempting at the moment, but she suddenly remembered Jackson and Young Ji and that brought her back to reality. She lightly ruffled Sunny’s hair as the latter was leaning in to kiss her.

 

“You have morning breath. Go brush your teeth first, and then we’ll see.” Hyomin playfully tapped Sunny’s forehead.

 

“Hmmph. Fine.” Sunny huffed and got up to clean herself and get dressed, bringing a towel and her clothes along with her to the bathroom.

 

 

*********************************

 

“You sure picked a fine day to go for a stroll Park Hyomin.” Sunny said, her large scarf muffling her voice. It was freezing out, and the girls had barely taken a few steps out before they immediately started to regret it.

 

Hyomin did not want to go back in however. She was determined to stick with her now admittedly dumb idea and commit to it till the end.

 

“It’s not THAT cold!” Hyomin stated through chattering teeth.

 

“Liar! Your teeth sounds like they’re tap-dancing!” Sunny said as she playfully nudged her girlfriend. Sunny knew there was a good noodle shop around the corner, as she’s been there with her roommate family once before so she was trying to lead Hyomin over to it, but the cold winds was making it difficult.

 

“See? They’re dancing! I’m just so excited to be out here in this weathARGH!”

 

Hyomin’s sentence was interrupted by a sudden gust of cold air, making every hair on her body stand on end.

 

Hyomin was trying her best to act tough but acting wasn’t really her strong suit. That was more of Eunjung’s role. Speaking of Eunjung, wonder where she was right now. She’s probably off on another date with Min Woo. She never expected the two of them to get along so well so fast. Maybe it was fate. Her mother always did say that each person has a soulmate, and you’ll know who yours is once you’ve met—

 

“Minnie slow down!” Sunny called out from behind her, tugging at her arm and effectively snapping Hyomin out of her own head again.

 

“Jeez what’s the rush? You just yelled out and started marching forward.”

 

Hyomin looked down at her girlfriend with guilt on her face. “I’m sorry Sunny it was just too cold and I guess I zoned out again.”

 

Hyomin suddenly felt two hands tug at her jacket and pull her downwards. Before Hyomin could even register what was going on, she felt Sunny’s lips crash against hers. Her girlfriend’s soft lips felt like a truck had just ran her over the way it caused her insides to toss and tumble. Hyomin felt tiny possessive hands wrap around her neck and her world became a dizzying, spinning world of colours. The way Sunny’s tongue s it’s way past her lips made Hyomin suddenly feel like they were wearing too many layers as she felt hot under the collar.

 

Sunny pulled away with a mischievous grin on her face, pinching Hyomin’s cheeks as the taller girl still looked completely out of it from the intense kiss they just shared in the middle of the street.

 

“Still feel cold babe?” Sunny cheekily asked, and Hyomin vehemently shook her head no. Maybe she should have actually said yes. Maybe if she did Sunny would kiss her like that again.

 

Before Hyomin could change her answer, she felt Sunny interlace their fingers and lead her forward.

 

“Let’s hurry up now. I’m still starving!” Sunny hopped and tugged on Hyomin’s hand like an adorable bunny, causing Hyomin to smile at her adorable girlfriend.

 

Hyomin changed her mind. She didn’t want to rush to the restaurant anymore. She would be more than content with braving this cold with her girlfriend on the end of her hand, looking back at her with those twinkly eyes.

 

 

*********************************************************

 

“I told you it was going to be spicy you dummy! We nearly had to call an ambulance for Jackson!” Sunny berated her girlfriend while handing her a glass of water, which Hyomin downed in one gulp.

 

“I was just trying to warm myself up from this weather….” Hyomin replied once she finally gained some semblance of feeling in her tongue. She always assumed that she could handle spicy food, but it looked like she finally met her match. The bowl of jjampong in front of her was almost mocking her and Hyomin did not appreciate the condescending look her meal was giving her.

 

A soft giggle caused her to break the staring match she was having with her bowl of noodles and look up at Sunny just staring at her in amusement.

 

“What?” The brunette asked.

 

“Nothing. It’s adorable how you’re glaring at your meal.”

 

Hyomin blushed and looked away. She never realizes it when she does these weird things, and she is thankful that Sunny finds it adorable instead of treating her like the weirdo she pretty sure she was.

 

Things got quiet for a moment as they warmed up their bodies with their lunch, and Hyomin decided that it was a good time to ask Sunny the question that had been bothering her.

 

“Hey Sunny?”

 

“Mmmm?” Came Sunny’s short reply through a mouthful of noodles.

 

“How are the rest of your members holding up? And how is Jessica? Have you spoken to her?”

 

Sunny looked contemplative for a moment before swallowing the rest of the noodles and taking a look around the restaurant. The neighborhood they were in wasn’t exactly one with younger folk, only elderly people and businessmen, thus the two idols were not recognized at all. Hyomin looked on as Sunny collected her thoughts, and slowly began telling the story of what happened, what circumstances lead to Jessica leaving, bumping into Jessica at the hotel, talking to Taeyeon, and Hyomin just listened on trying to process all of this information.

 

Something didn’t quite add up though. Why would Jessica go all the way to China just for Yuri? Surely a phone call would have sufficed? Maybe there was more to Jessica and Yuri’s relationship than Hyomin was aware of. Sunny seemed mum about the subject so Hyomin didn’t press on further, although she was sure there were a few details the SNSD Vitamin was keeping from her.

 

“Well….at least it’s good that she’s happy.” Hyomin finally concluded. Hyomin wanted to visit Jessica though. She was quite fond of the Ice Princess and was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. She was sure Jessica wouldn’t mind. Maybe she should ask Sunny where Jessica lives. Hyomin was about to ask Sunny just that, but she noticed the girl opposite her suddenly looking pensive and sullen.

 

“If we’re done here, lets pay up. I kinda need to go for a walk outside.” She heard Sunny suggest.

 

“A walk? Sunny it’s close to 0 degrees out there. We should get back to the house as soon as possible.” Hyomin warily replied. What was with this girl? Wasn’t she the one complaining about how walking outside was a bad decision earlier?

 

“Just for awhile. Please? I…I just need some time with you.” And that was that. There was no way Hyomin was going to say no to her girlfriend’s request, not when she is looking like that. That voice and expression would be capable of making Hyomin commit the silliest of acts. Walking out in zero degree weather seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

 

 

********************************************************

 

 

They must have walked for about 10 minutes, not saying a word. Hyomin tried to ignore the bone piercing wind that was blowing against them from the opposite end of the street they are walking on, but with each passing moment she could feel her resolve slowly fading and dare she admit it, a dash of annoyance was slowly creeping up.

 

“Sunny, where are we going?”

 

“Here’s good.” Sunny came to a stop and Hyomin looked around to notice that they were in a tiny little playground, equipped with a swing set and a couple of see-saws. The brunette stared at the shorter girl with a puzzled expression. Why are they here?

 

“Wanna hop on the swing babe? I’ll push you!” Sunny playfully ran to the swing set, gesturing for Hyomin to get on in front of her.

 

Confused, Hyomin obliged. The playground was in an enclosed compound, so the wind couldn’t reach them there. Without the bone-chilling gusts threatening to rattle their bones, the weather wasn’t all too bad. Just barely bearable.

 

Hyomin could feel Sunny’s delicate tiny hands press onto her back, and off she went. The swing was carrying her closer and closer to the sky, and Hyomin found herself with her eyes closed, bracing against the ice cold touches of the wind caressing her face. It was refreshing to some extent and eventually she was laughing like a jovial little kid as Sunny kept pushing her higher and higher.

 

The swinging eventually slowed down, until it came to a complete stop. Hyomin was about to turn around and look at her girlfriend, but she felt slender arms encircle her from the back, and Sunny’s weight pressed up against her. A mess of auburn hair filled her peripheral vision as Sunny nuzzled her neck from the back, enveloping Hyomin in a warmth that spread from within her being.

 

“I love you so much Minnie.” Sunny whispered into her ear.

 

“I love you too Sunny.” Hyomin responded, but still slightly confused why her girlfriend was acting this way.

 

She felt Sunny pull away, and was about to turn around again when Sunny whispered “Don’t turn around yet.”

 

Hyomin grew exasperated and pouted. She just wanted to see her beautiful girlfriend. Why was that so hard? Nevertheless, she did as she was told.

 

Something glittered then from between her eyes, and she watched as it was continuously lowered, until delicate hands clasped it securely behind her neck. Hyomin looked down and saw that it was a necklace with a rabbit on it, encrusted with what looked suspiciously like diamonds.

 

“You can turn around now.”

 

Hyomin whipped her head around to see her beautiful girlfriend smiling radiantly at her, with a similar necklace glittering from around her neck. Upon looking closer, she noticed that it wasn’t a rabbit, but a mouse instead.

 

“You like it? We have couple necklaces now!” Sunny excitedly stated.

 

“It’s really beautiful Sunny, but the animals are kinda random don’t you think?”

 

“What do you mean random?! I picked these out carefully mind you! You’re wearing Sunny Bunny while I’m wearing Minnie Mouse!” Sunny explained animatedly pointing at their necklaces.

 

Minnie Mouse? That was a first. There was barely anything that flattering about being compared to a rodent, but if that nickname came from the lips of the girl she was in love with, she could grow to accept it.

 

“Are these diamonds? I don’t think I can accept this Sunny! This must have cost you a fortune!”

 

Sunny shushed her by pressing a finger to Hyomin’s lips, a genuine heart melting smile on her face.

 

“What’s the point of being part of the nation’s girl group when I can’t spend my earnings once in awhile? I don’t shop much, but I saw these in the store and they were beautiful. Reminded me of you. I think everything beautiful that I see will remind me of you.” Sunny scratched her cheek shyly at her own confession, and Hyomin felt as if she owned the world at that very moment.

 

Hyomin smiled and patted the swing next to her, gesturing for Sunny to take a seat. Sunny took the hint and walked around to sit next to her girlfriend, eyes never leaving each other’s. Hyomin just sat there smiling at her girlfriend before slowly moving in to capture Sunny’s lips with her own. Hyomin couldn’t help but feel herself slip away into the kiss just the way she always does whenever they share this level of intimacy. Sunny tasted like summer against her cold, numb lips.

 

“I get tired of it sometimes though.” Sunny said as soon as they separated.

 

“What do you mean Sunny?” Hyomin immediately started to worry. Were they kissing too much? Was Sunny not one for skinship?

 

“This life. I get what Jessica says. The past few months have been so tiring and mentally strenuous, and pretending to be happy sometimes makes me the unhappiest I’ve ever been. It’s like…I don’t even want to be an idol anymore.”

 

Hyomin held Sunny’s hands and looked into her girlfriend’s eyes that were blatantly showing off the owner’s fatigue.

 

“If it wasn’t for you and the Roommate family, I’m not sure if Jessica would have been the first member to leave the group. It’s kind of a heaven sent thing that I got casted for the show out of the blue.” Sunny laughed slightly at her statement, and Hyomin looked away. If only Sunny knew that Hyomin was the reason that she got the part in the first place.

 

“Thank you for everything Hyomin. Thank you for cheering me up and being here for me. Thank you for loving me this much and for always believing in me.”

 

“I never really had to do much Sunny. You’ve always had it in you to pull off the most magical things. All I did was occasionally remind you of that.”

 

“I know, and I’m thanking you for that too. I’m…not good at voicing my opinions sometimes, but despite all that I know I can always tell you anything.” Sunny replied with a smile.

 

They kissed again, just when the cold was starting to make them feel numb again they found ways to keep themselves warm. Hyomin was convinced that this was exactly how they were going to tackle the world from now on. They would be there to keep each other warm and help the other through any problem.

 

“We should probably head back now babe.” Sunny finally whispered, and Hyomin nodded.

 

“Hey Sunny?” Hyomin called out to her girlfriend’s retreating back.

 

“I like it when you call me babe.”

 

Sunny smiled the brightest smile yet after hearing those words.

 

“Then that’s what I’ll call you from now on babe.”

 

Sunny turned to leave again when Hyomin’s voice stopped her once more.

 

“Hey Sunny?”

 

Sunny was about to turn around when something cold and hard hit the back of her head. She whipped her head around to see Hyomin forming a snowball in her hands and getting ready to strike a second time, a mischievous grin stretched across her face that proved to be a bigger threat to Sunny’s wellbeing than the second snowball that narrowly missed her head.

 

“That’s for not replying my messages when you were in China!”

 

“Babe I told you a lot was going on and I just couldn—AACK!” The third snowball found it’s mark on her nose.

 

“I don’t care! Payback time bunny!”

 

“Oh you’ve done it now Park Hyomin!” Sunny warned as she too bent over to form a snowball of her own.

 

 

**********************************************

 

 

“YOU TWO ARE SOOO DUMB! HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? TWELVE?!!” Nana yelled at the two shivering girls while proceeding to bury them beneath a mountain of blankets.

 

“Nana calm down. They were just having fun. Give them a break.” Dong Wook started but immediately stopped when Nana shot a glare at him that could have stopped his heart had he been 20 years older.

 

“Don’t you defend them! Good gosh Eunjung told me to watch over the both of you but I thought ‘Hey they’re both perfectly sensible 25 year olds right? Of course they wouldn’t have a snowball fight when its basically Antarctica out there!’ Urghhh you two better not get sick after this!”

 

Dong Wook shot the two girls huddled close together on the couch a sympathetic look before he was hit on the side of the head with a towel.

 

“Oppa! I thought I told you to get them some hot drinks! Move!” Nana screeched from the laundry room where she was drying Hyomin and Sunny’s clothes.

 

Dong Wook sheepishly got up and rushed to the kitchen. Hyomin spared a side glance at her shivering girlfriend and they both broke out into laughter when their eyes met. Hyomin felt Sunny’s hand creep onto hers and they sat on the couch holding each other’s hand while basking in the warmth provided by the blankets and each other.

 

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

So I owe everyone an apology for the late update. It's been almost a month, so I'm so sorry! A lot of things have gone on recently, and I didn't exactly feel like writing any lovey dovey stuff because there's been a huge absence of lovey dovey stuff in my life recently. Hahahaha! I sort of lost my muse for awhile there, but then seeing that leaked MV of Catch Me If You Can with Jessica in it kinda brought back the feels and mood to continue writing. I usually write at least a few chapters in advance before I post one up so that I have a bit of wiggle room, but I figured that I've kept this chapter with me for long enough. I've only got the chapter after this written up, so I have a bit of catching up to do.

I think this story will end soon, since I've written everything I wanted to write down plotwise. The chapter after this is the Taengsic spinoff I have, then maybe I'll write 2-3 more chapters after. It's been a pretty fun ride, and I'm sorta reluctant to see it end, so I'll try my best to make the next few chapters really good ones!

This whole fic was written in Hyomin's perspective just because I missed writing it through her goofy thoughts. I also notice I start out almost all the chapters with them waking up from sleep. It was unintentional at first, but as I went on I decided that it's easier to do it that way, as a sort of guide for the timeframe in the fic. :P

Huge ups to scarletmage, aidie43 and killavibez for the upvotes! Really means a lot, and it's also one of the reasons I felt motivated to get back to this fic. It...really feels good to have your work appreciated. Thank you! :)

And to the rest of the people still following this fic, thank you so much for the continued support! Really means a lot to me!

 

P/S: My chapters are getting ridiculously long. I hope all of you don't mind it and don't get bored reading halfway.

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Comments

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milkinthebox_ #1
Chapter 23: This is still one of the things i will always come back to 😭
milkinthebox_ #2
Chapter 23: Author-nim? I hope you're doing well. Please don't get this the wrong way. I undestand that it's been so long hehe. There's just a few sunbyung fics out there though but thank you for creating this world. I don't know what I want to deliver across. I'm —
milkinthebox_ #3
Chapter 20: I got a sweet surprise when you included Sojin because dang you are so right she's one fine lady huhu
love45 #4
Chapter 23: where's the last part author???? :(
jensicajdg0429
#5
Chapter 23: I finished reading this for only 3 days and I LOVE IT! It made me CRY (several times! Im just so emotional when it comes to Sica's departure), it made me feel HAPPY and SAD at the same time, and it seemed REAL that it made me HOPE; not the gayness between sunbyung and taengsic couple >< (tho i wish they are real) it gave me hope again that OT9 is still possible but then, those hopes came crashing down as I read the further chapters, Sica's happy tho, that's what all it takes for me to accept reality. This fic made me LAUGH and i still can't forget about f(x) being ancient and snsd being fossils XD, it made me cry laughing! And I don't want to spoil a lot in the commnts so those who want to read it shall not wait for tomorrow! One chapter's left and I am yet to upvote all chapters T.T I'll be upvoting it all after author nim decides to pub. the last chap, hehe and a little confession, i read the version of this story fist, hehe, whew! this is my longest comment so far! to author nim: pls update soon ~,~
love45 #6
Chapter 23: plis update the next part T.T don't make us wait author :(
classix1804
#7
My favourite Sunbyung FF^^
bloodonthetracks
#8
Chapter 18: just wanted to say that this fanfic is loved. by me. very much so.
and that your phrase about monochrome world is pure literature.
yadanarr #9
Chapter 23: really wanted to read this story.....where are you authornim.....please update.
chantellesyf
#10
Chapter 23: Please update soon!! My Sunbyung feels is here and I cannot wait for this fiction to have it's happy ending cause it's my fave in this whole site!! :3