Donghae finally reveals his past to SoonYee.

MAMACITA
The Orphanage:

Donghae awoke in a cold sweat, feeling his heart pounding out of his chest. There was something about the cot he was sleeping in at the infirmary that gave him this feeling. It felt like he was back there...Where? What would a proper name for it be? He definitely wouldn't call it home. At his side was SoonYee fast asleep with her head resting on her hands at the edge of the bed. He debated whether or not he should, but he did. He awkwardly lifted his hand and gently patted her head to soothe her. She had told him she wanted to know more about him. What troubled him so? What ugly was he forced to see to think he was in nothing but a cruel world?

"Are you awake?" He asked. She didn't stir. He sighed, "You think you want to know about me, but you don't mean it."

He was silent for a few moments as he debated whether or not he should say more. Even though she was asleep, there was still an alarm bell ringing in his ears to tell him to be quiet. He swore he would take it all to his grave. Who would want to know more about someone like him anyway? He caught some criminals and other wanted thugs, so what? Was that supposed to give his name any meaning? It didn't, not in his opinion anyway. He was nothing and he knew it. It was all he was ever going to be. He didn't deserve someone as kind as SoonYee. If she knew why, he knew it would ruin everything...

"West Windsor," He whispered. He stared off into nothing with his hand still on her head. When he said the name of that place, he could feel that familiar shudder down his spine. He gulped to gather himself before continuing, "That's where I'm from."

A ten-year-old Donghae awoke from the cold-hard mattress at the crack of dawn to get breakfast. It was like this every day in West Windsor. Wake up bright and early, fight for the last bit of food, then complete the work that needs to be done, hoping that the nuns won't find a reason to beat you. Orphanages were never a nice place to be. He was ten years old and it felt like he was living in a prison. A cold, filthy, torturous prison. Then again, the rest of West Windsor wasn't so different anyway. The town was known for its harsh and conservative values. No one liked or appreciated anyone who didn't comply with the rules, the rules being to follow everyone else. The rules were things along the lines of acting proper, anything relating to keeping up a good Catholic image, and ostracizing those who didn't. There was a reason hardly anyone passed through West Windsor. The train would stop, but it was a rare sight to see someone get off and call this town home for any duration of time. Therefore, the town was very closed off from the other nearby towns. That also meant less of a chance of someone coming to adopt one of the orphaned children and free them from this place.

For Donghae, his parents passed away when he was only five. His mother died giving birth to his stillborn sister, and his father couldn't handle it. Days after, he dropped Donghae off at the orphanage and then shot himself down the pathway, not realizing that little Donghae hadn't even gone inside yet. He learned quickly that he was to remain here until he grew up so they would have no other choice but to kick him out.

Donghae put on his only pair of shoes and clothes then shuffled his little feet downstairs. The bigger kids once again hogged all the food and pushed the smaller kids away. Donghae didn't care about the bigger kids. He wasn't scared of them. He was always the one picking fights with them because they deserved it. He would never get off scot-free for it. There were punishments and many at that. Rubbing his tired eyes, he went for the last of the food, which was only one small portion of rice in water.

"Hey, stupid. Are you deaf? That food is for us. Yours is outside." Sungjoo, a tall thirteen year old shoved Donghae's shoulder. Donghae glanced across the room to the outside window and saw the garbage pile Sungjoo was talking about. It was filled with food that went rotten and was mixed with dirt and manure.

"We can't eat that." Donghae clutched the bowl in his hands. He ducked his head to go run to the back corner to eat. Sungjoo quickly stopped him.

"Give that to me," Sungjoo demanded.

"No." Donghae kept his voice quiet. He didn't want the trouble today, "I need it more since I got nothing yesterday."

Sungjoo smacked the bowl out of Donghae's hands, making everything splatter on the floor.

"There. Now no one gets it." Sungjoo practically laughed in his face. "What are you gonna do about that?"

"Nothing," Donghae replied, not wanting to look at him. No. He couldn't. He couldn't get into another fight. He wouldn't be forgiven this time.

Suddenly, one of the smaller kids who only looked to be about five or six years old, dove to the floor between them to start desperately picking up the food off the floor so he could eat it. Sungjoo glared and rolled his eyes in amusement. He kicked the kid in the side, knocking him over and causing him to cry.

"Just because it's on the floor doesn't mean you can have it." Sungjoo spat at him.

"But but, I haven't eaten in days-" The kid cried, but Sungjoo kicked him again, making the boy only cry louder. The sound hurt Donghae's ears. He didn't care about getting in trouble anymore. Donghae wasted no more time and lunged at Sungjoo. All the kids took notice of Donghae getting into yet another fight with someone. They each cheered for who they wanted to win. Donghae always got the majority of the cheers. He grabbed Sungjoo by his rag of a shirt and began punching him in the face over and over. It wasn't long until Sungjoo got the upper hand and got Donghae into a headlock so he could punch him back.

"Back away! Stop this right now!" The sound of Sister Park's voice filled the room, making the crowd of kids go silent and back away from the fight so she could break the two up, "Stop it! Stop right now!"

Sungjoo immediately shoved Donghae away. He stood properly, trying to act innocent.

"Who started this?" Sister Park looked at them both and Sungjoo didn't hesitate to point at Donghae.

"He did."

Sister Park scoffed and called over Sister Nam to have Sungjoo punished anyway. His punishment was to clean the bathrooms. It was way worse way than it sounded. There were rats, roaches, ants, and dried-up vomit and feces on the floor and the walls. It was horrific and if you vomited, or you weren't fast enough then you were hit over and over. There were always too many kids, so when it was cleaned, it didn't stay that way for long. The worst punishment of all though, was being locked in the back room. That was the one Donghae was afraid of, hence trying to avoid another fight.

"As for you!" Sister Park picked Donghae up by his wrist from the floor and pulled him to the back of the building and down to the cellar. "If you get into one more fight, you're out on the damn street!"

"Good! Do it! Anywhere is better than here!" Donghae snapped at her. "I'll go somewhere far away and never come back here again!"

Sister Park stopped so she could slap him hard across his face. He held his cheek in his hand to help cover his face. His skin burned from the slap to where he could feel the red heat against his little fingertips.

"Just for that you're getting locked in for an extra week! That's two weeks in the cell for you!"

"No! I'm sorry!" Donghae hated it in there. Even one day was too much. He wouldn't survive two weeks, he knew it. "I promise I'll knock it off!"

"No apologies!" Sister Park yanked on his wrist and brought him into the cellar that strongly resembled an old, cold, beaten-down prison. It wasn't well kept, mostly since it was the only room in the building that was never cleaned. It was always dark and scary, not to mention lonely. They always made sure to not have multiple children thrown in there at once. He knew he wouldn't be getting food while he was in here either. Two weeks...No food...Maybe he'll be gifted with a sweet death when it was over.

"Ungrateful, worthless little devils you are," Sister Park hissed, bringing him to an open cell door, "You listen and you listen good. You're nothing! You understand? That's why you're here and it's all you're ever going to be. Maybe a couple weeks in here will burn that into your skull."

"No! You can't make me!" Donghae resisted her pulling and tried to remove her hand from his wrist. "No!"

Sister Park shoved him inside the cell and locked the door, giving him only a small window to look out of. There was no food, water, or bathroom inside. The window on the door was barred and had no glass. Donghae stood on his tip-toes to look out the small window. His fingers gripped the bars as his eyes peered around. The room was quiet now, meaning Sister Park had left immediately after dumping him in there.

"Hello? Is anyone else in here?" Donghae called out. Who knows, sometimes there was a kid forgotten in here from time to time. If he was going to last two weeks in here, odds are at least one more would be punished and thrown into the cell next to his. He knew he would go crazy if he was alone for the entire duration.

"Hello? Anyone?" He called out. When there was still no response, he began kicking the cell door in anger. He didn't want to believe he was alone. As much as he hated the other kids most times, they were still fellow kids all in the same situation. He hated being alone ever since he saw his father shoot himself in the head. It was because he didn't think he would have to know what being alone was like until that moment.

"Please!" His little voice shouted as he continued kicking the door, "Anyone!"

Donghae put his back against the door and slid down, his face in his hands. He hated crying, the nuns made sure of that. He wiped his eyes so he could pretend like he wasn't crying in the first place.

"Yes?" Donghae heard a small, weak voice like his from the outside. It sounded like it came from the cell across from his own.

"Hello?" Donghae stood up to look out the window door on his tippy toes, "Who's there?"

"I heard you call." In the cell across from him, a young boy who looked similar in age with shoulder-length black hair peered through his window. "That was you, right?"

"Yes. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't all alone." Donghae frowned. "I don't like being alone."

"Me too." The boy's black hair was matted. His skin was tan but dirty, and his shirt was like a rag, not far off from everyone else's. He was incredibly thin as well, which worried Donghae a little. "You have been in here before, haven't you? I recognize your voice."

"Yeah, I've been in here once or twice," Donghae replied.

"What for?"

"Fights. What are you in here for?" Donghae asked, "I've never seen you around here."

"I've lived in this cell my entire life." The boy answered. "I'm usually quiet, so it's okay if you didn't notice me."

"Why have you been in here your whole life? What did you do wrong?"

"I was born." The boy frowned. "My father made Sister Kim impure, and she gave birth to me in here. As punishment for surviving birth, I never left."

"I'm so sorry-" Donghae paused when he noticed something, "I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Kim Jongwoon." He answered. "But I don't go by that name. That is the name Sister Kim cursed me with. Call me Yesung. What about you?"

"I'm Donghae. Just Donghae." Donghae gave him a little wave. "How old are you?"

"Twelve, I think. I don't know, I lose track sometimes."

"I can't ever forget. I'm ten," said Donghae, "I know because exactly five years ago, my parents died."

"Why can't my parents be dead, too?" Yesung frowned, then managed