~The Eighth Heartbeat~
Innocent Mistake

My eyes shot open as my body jerked itself awake, panting for air. A barely inaudible yelp instinctively broke out of my lips, but was short lived as it ended up dying off the next second. Soon after waking up, I came to the realization I was still in my room, laying in my bed covers. There were sticky drops of cold sweat trickling down my temples, accumulating into a gigantic wet puddle that left my pillow and bed covers completely drenched. It accounted for an extremely uncomfortable sensation on my back, which I couldn’t stand at all. With support from my arms, I slowly sat myself up with a gruff grunt, feeling unexpectedly fatigued. I felt emotionally exhausted and my head was insanely dizzy from who knows what. I was guessing it could’ve been the burning fever from my cold. Or that dream that I just experienced. Thinking about it, was it even right to say that it was just a dream? It was intense in a surreal sense, and I’d never experienced a dream that’s ever felt this real before. Maybe calling it a vision might’ve been a better description; it was definitely beyond the limitations of a simple reverie or nightmare.

I was immensely confused about what the entire experience might’ve been trying to convey. Thinking back to my earlier struggle with the shadowy apparitions, I was reminded of the abhorrent aura filled with contempt that exuded from them. It deeply chilled me to the bone and I nearly shuddered in response. Facing phantasms that involved interacting with apparitions like that rarely happened to me. Regardless of the circumstances, they still occurred from time to time. Each confrontation always consisted of the same thing: Me trying to resist the ribald, despondent vulgarities of the insidious voices that resided deep in the back of my mind. This was nothing new. 

Although I appeared to be a positive person most of the time, the misanthropic side of me had always threatened to take over and swallow me whole. The voices often bothered me the most during the night, because that was when my mind would be the most vulnerable and secluded from others. It never really bothered me in the day though. Some nights, nothing would happen while other nights turned out to be a living hell. I’ve always hated experiencing these contingent occurrences; it always reminded me of any painful truth of mine I tried to forget. I was undeniably shaken from the fact that I had nearly gave into temptation this time around. I never dared to think of what would've happened if I decided to ever give in. I suspected that if I did, maybe I would’ve lost myself and never stay the same again.

Although what did end up being unexpected was Yoon Ara and the request that she asked me to fulfill for her. I found it oddly peculiar. I hadn’t come across any mention of her up until now, yet my mind suddenly decided to go and visualize her right in front of my very eyes. I reminiscenced back to the promise that was made, trying to recollect my scattered mind in the midst of disorientation.

“I want you to find her for me. Could you do that?"

“...Okay.”

“...Promise me that when you find her, you’ll stay by her side in my place. And tell her all about me will you?”

“I promise.”

Did seeing her again really shake me that much? Why did I even say yes? You’re literally insane Kim Seokjin… Where do I even start? I don’t even know who her special someone is or where she lives. What if I can’t find her, then does that mean I have to keep seeing Yoon Ara in my dreams forever? I’ll have to keep on suffering for the rest of my life?

I closed my eyes, resting my forehead in both of my arms. Everything was just so vehemently overwhelming; there was too much information for my brain to process and it was arduously stressful to find where to start organizing it. There were thousands of questions swimming around my brain and a myriad of emotions scrambling my mind, making it a complete mess. I grimaced when it became apparent that there had been a slight ache sitting at the bottom of my chest. I massaged around the area where my heart was situated, hoping that the mild heat of my hand would be enough to help me cope.

Okay Seokjin, first thing you gotta do is to calm down. Maybe if you just leave it alone, things will start making sense. Hopefully…

I pushed my blanket off and turned towards the edge of my bed, immediately shutting my eyes and lungs filling up from a sharp intake of cold air. It was hard to resist the urge to freak out. I didn't even have to look down at myself to know how soaked my shirt was from cold sweat. The cool and sticky sensation on my back was indisputably palpable. I was a pretty hygienic guy in nature, which made it difficult to prevent myself from screaming out loud. Fortunately, I managed by channelling the pent up frustration into my legs, using it to spring myself up off the bed and sprinting over to my closet. Peeling off my shirt over my head, I slapped it onto my desk with a solid snap and sighed, feeling exasperation escape my both along with a breath of air. I never felt so much happier.

Thank God that’s off of me.

I headed over to the window and pushed aside the blackout curtains that had been blocking the outside view, my bare, shirtless chest exposed and open to the entire world. Normally I was self conscious about showing my body, especially when it came to changing into my gym uniform for physical education. It didn’t help that others around here worked out on a regular basis and were muscular. My only trademark characteristics were my face and my skinny build, I think. I did try to work out here and there, resulting in some compliments on my broadened shoulders, but that didn’t really help the fact that I was still self conscious about myself anyways. Luckily, it’s not like there were any girls walking around this area and no random stranger in their right mind would just randomly start checking me out from the courtyard to my window, so I didn’t really give any second thoughts about it.  

I smiled, taking note of the pure cerulean that painted the sky along with occasional white specks that represented clouds in the distance. It was a clear day today, and it was just the perfect weather to lighten up my mood. Growing up, I noticed that whatever the weather was, my daily mood would be affected depending on how much I liked it. Rain obviously brought out a more cynical, analytical and glum side of me while clear weather, especially if there was warm sunlight, always indicated a day that was full of good things just waiting to happen. I guessed from a gut feeling that it must’ve been sometime around 10am in the morning, and sneaked a modest glance at the tiny clock on my desk to see if I was right.

Sunday - 10:03am

At least I was close. But whatever, today was gonna be a good day and I was determined to keep it that way. I pivoted around on the ball of my foot and looked over at my closet, considering what to do today. It was still Sunday, meaning I didn’t have to worry about school or anything. I considered heading over to a coffee shop for breakfast; I hadn’t gone to one in a while. As I idled around my room, contemplating on what to compile into a to-do list for the day, I couldn’t shake off a nagging feeling that I had forgotten about something. But it couldn’t have possibly been that important anyways rig-

“AGH-"

“WHFADSGJKHOHMYGODWHAT!!!”

I jumped as high as my legs could have possibly gone while an incoherent jumble of noise escaped my mouth, hollering at the top of my lungs. For a second, I thought the floor had suddenly come alive. I came back to reality soon after I realized how nonsensical that was. I glanced down at my feet, under which I felt a squishy, warm sensation. That was definitely not what my floor carpet felt like. 

There was someone sprawled out on my floor with a few cowlicks in her hair. She wasn’t moving a single bit. A jolt shot through my nerves and I tumbled backwards, stumbling over my own feet in the process and fell to the floor with a thud. I swear I would’ve thought I had stepped on a dead corpse if it weren’t for the up and down movement that the chest made while breathing. Although either way, it was impossible to not freak out at that point. 

Turns out the thing I forgot all about was just Hwang Ga Eul. And I just idiotically stepped on her like a damned elephant.

“H-HWANG GA EUL, WH-WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY R-ROOM?!?”

“Hnn, good morning to you too sunbae... Thanks for waking me up by stepping all over me. I was having such a nice dream too,” She whined in a soft, raspy voice. I didn’t fail to miss the sassy sarcasm she recited near the end. It must’ve been the sleep still affecting her, given that she had literally been in lala land seconds ago. I cautiously watched as she sluggishly sat up, obviously still half asleep. She held a blank look on her face, as if she didn't have a single care in the world.

I, on the other hand, was highkey freaking out about the entire crisis for obvious reasons.

“I-I didn’t mean to step on you!! Why were you sleeping on the floor in the first place?! Didn’t you leave yesterday after getting me my medicine? What about the room checks they do here in the dorms every night??? Wait, don’t answer that yet. WERE YOU HERE THE ENTIRE NIGHT??” A flurry of questions shot right out of my mouth, like hot air rushing out of a full balloon. My mind was jumbled and my words spewed out of my mouth like lightning compared to my poor brain frying itself over trying to process things. That seemed to wake up Ga Eul though, considering she definitely looked more alert by the time I finished my last sentence. She silently nodded in response, acknowledging that she managed to pick up everything I just said. I had no idea how Ga Eul managed to understand even a single word I said, considering I was saying it all so fast and was probably not even making any sense whatsoever. It would’ve sounded like gibberish to any other person than myself. 

“Whoa slow down sunbae, just stop talking first. Pipe down and take a deep breath. I can’t answer any of your questions if you don’t give me time to say anything! Just stay quiet and I’ll explain the situation.” She assertively placed a hand on one of my shoulders and sternly looked straight at me. Her firm grip on me was startling, and I couldn't help but clam up instantly. I had no idea if I was intimidated or just losing it. Eventually, after taking a few deep breaths, I managed to get my bearings together. At least enough to actually make sense of reality now.

“Alright, let’s see... Where should I start?”

“How about getting an understanding of the situation first? So you slept on my floor through the entire night? If so, what happened to the room checks that they do both here and the girl’s dorms?”

“Yeeeup. I slept here on the floor while you enjoyed your nice cozy bed. We didn’t do anything last night, I swear by that!  And actually, my accommodation here at the academy is different than most of the other students. During the weekdays, I stay at the girl’s dorms but once it hits the weekend, I always go and visit my family. That’s why my name is always exempt from the weekend room checks. With the guys room checks, a simple lie was all it took to convince your dorm head.”

“What? You’re telling me that a simple lie got past our dorm head, the Han Yu Jin? No way, literally none of the guys here can ever get their lies past that guy. He’s just too good at reading through us. What the hell did you say to get past his radar?”

“Oh nothing much. I told him I was your cousin and that your mom sent me to see how you were doing. Since you were sick with nobody to take care of you, I guilt tripped him by letting him know that if he received any complaints, it wouldn’t be my fault. That seemed to work its charm because he left me alone afterwards. I think I was just lucky though. He wouldn’t stop sneering at me the whole time.”

Damn, who would’ve thought Hwang Ga Eul was a good liar? That innocent face face of hers has way too many advantages.

“.....Okay let’s pretend I believe that. Now tell me why you slept here all night. I thought you left after giving me my medicine in the evening.”

“I was going to leave right after that! But I couldn’t because of a certain someone.” She explained, clearly enunciating every word for me to understand, especially emphasizing “someone.” She glared at me as if she was trying to hint at something. I was perplexed for a while, clueless as to why she was staring right at me. Either she failed to mention a crucial detail that I didn’t catch or I actually was being a retard. I guess she must’ve realized I wasn’t putting two and two together, because she just sighed and filled in the blanks for me.

“Don’t you remember what happened??? When I came back to your room, you were really stressed, tossing and turning around in your sleep while muttering something over and over again. It was like you were having some kind of nightmare or something, because you couldn’t stop frowning or sweating. So I stayed here right beside you hoping you would calm down eventually. I couldn’t just leave you suffering like that.”

“I was muttering something? What was I saying?” I inquired carefully. I already realized at this point that she was referring to my dream earlier, but I really hoped I didn’t say anything too brash for her to hear. I had maintain some dignity at the very least, if I still had any left after letting her see me being sick like this.

“It sounded like you were running away from something. You kept on saying “get away from me” and “stop it”. It had me worried sick you know! I couldn’t relax at all nor take my eyes off you for a second because of that. It’s a blessing to see that you’re back to your lively self this morning, seeing as your foot really squished the living daylights out of me.” 

Her sassy imprudent tone was back. 

“SERIOUSLY I’M SORRY, IT WASN’T MY INTENTION TO STEP ON YOU!” I pleaded , trying to convince her I really was apologetic to her.  She just raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms in response.

“Here, I’ll even make a promise to make up for it. I, the worldwide handsome Kim Seokjin, sincerely apologize to Hwang Ga Eul for my dishonourable act earlier and swear to do anything you command me to for forgiveness.” I went onto my knees and placed my hand on the left side of my chest, as if I was pledging my undying allegiance to her.

I regretted it the moment I saw the smirk on her face and knew I was in hot water now. Why do I always forget to think things through before I say anything dammit.

“Anything huh? I’ve got a great idea in mind for you sunbae.”

Shoot me now.