~The Seventh Heartbeat~
Dreaming of You

I wandered aimlessly in the middle of a dark, intangible void, unsure of what I was doing there. What I did recognize however, was the sole pitch black darkness surrounding me. It went off into eternity, with no real horizon that marked its end. There wasn’t a soul anywhere in sight, and the only thing that paid me company was ubiquitous silence. I couldn't describe it but everything here terribly unnerved me. Like something was just waiting to happen.

As I walked in a direction leading off towards who knows where, I couldn’t rid myself of an unexplainable emptiness that sat deep within my chest. It was as if there was something holding me back, but I couldn’t understand what it was holding me back from. Eventually as I continued to walk on, the empty feeling inside my chest started to seep deeper into me, down to where I felt the most vulnerable. Words couldn’t have even come close to explaining the sensation at all. I just felt strangely hyper aware of the environment, all five of my senses heightened to the max.

The emptiness grabbed hold of myself, forming a solid grip around my heart. Suddenly, I felt an epiphany of emotions all at once. Fear, confusion, anxiety, anger and more exploded into chaos within me, easily enveloping me in it. It felt like I was drowning in the middle of a vast sea, and I couldn’t bring forth the strength to save myself.

Then out of nowhere, the darkness that surrounded me turned into shadows that circled around me like a wild hurricane. I struggled to escape from it, but a shadow managed to slyly wrap itself around my throat, squeezing all the oxygen out of my lungs. There were malicious obscenities that came from a multitude of voices; ones that I didn’t recognize. Yet in my field of vision, there was still nobody in sight.

Piece of . A dog has more worth than you.

Ugliest bastard I’ve ever seen in my life.

Why do you even bother? It’s just a waste of energy.

They disruptively rammed themselves into my ears, loudly ringing into my brain to the point that it was impossible to keep them out even when I tried my best to ignore them. I desperately tried with every ounce of strength in me to unwrap myself from the shadow, but I was restrained when more of them wrapped themselves around my wrists and pulled back, preventing them from reaching my neck. The obscenities continued on without mercy.

You little . Go kill yourself.

What’s the point of everything when nobody cares?

I bet death would be the better option.

A hooded figure then appeared in front of my eyes and approached me. It was eerily nerve-racking, given that there was a white actor’s mask in place of where their face had meant to be. The closer they got to where I stood, the more fearful I felt. Although the mask showed a sinister smile, I couldn’t figure out what sort of expression had actually been fixated on their face. 

“It’s been forever since the last time we met hasn’t it Kim Seokjin? Look at you, going about your daily life so apathetic and without a single care in the world. It makes me sick to my stomach you know, from observing it all through your eyes. You thought you could just forget me huh, you bastard? To push me out of your mind and hide me away, hoping that time would do the rest for you?”
 

The figure bitterly spat at me, as he continued walking around me in a relaxed manner. It was spine-chilling how at the same time, the twisted tone of his voice was almost abnormally seductive in that I couldn’t turn away from it. I didn’t want to listen to anything he was saying, but his presence was intimidating and it shook me to the core. I couldn’t force myself to pull away and disregard his words.

“But that’s impossible, and you know it as well as I do. You can’t ever get rid of me because whether you like it or not, I am you and you are me. Face it. You can’t change yourself Seokjin. You’re just a weak son of a who hides away in fear of being hurt. Why don’t you just let me take over? I can make sure you’ll never hurt again. Just like back then, when you lost that girl of yours.”

At that moment, I was easily able to imagine the smirk that must’ve framed his lips. He knew he was easily overpowering me, trying to win me over with the temptation of never experiencing pain again. But I anxiously held on, trying to stay afloat on top of all this madness.

To my surprise, the figure removed his mask and hood, revealing his face. Or at least what I assumed it was. I hadn’t been able to tell what he actually looked like due to his facial features being too blurry from my waning eyesight to make out any hard definitions. But facial recognition wasn’t necessary in this case. I could tell right from the start who he was purely from his voice. It definitely spoke with different emotions than mine, but the uncanny resemblance to the way I intonated my sentences and pronounced each word was impossible to miss. He was the side of me that I wished had never existed; the me whose untimely birth in this body would never be welcomed. Yet his existence was inevitable, and I hated it so, so much.

“Sh-shut...the up...now.”

I wanted to deny it. , I wanted to deny all the nonsensical bull he was making me to listen to, but I could feel myself slipping. Deep within myself, I knew it too; that I did tend to run away from my problems. I just didn’t want to admit it. 

I jerked my head away, rejecting the very sight of him as droplets of sweat trickled down my temples. I was surprised to find his talking soon ceased just like I wanted. But upon looking up, I realized the expression of his face told me everything. A sly grin, symbolizing a silent rodomantade that ridiculed every scornful fallacy of mine. A few moments of undesired eye contact passed, perhaps the last. as he pulled his hood back over his face that was no longer visible. He figured he'd let the rest unfold by itself, assuming my fate sealed and that I would soon succumb to the darkness.

By now, I was nearly suffocating to death. His image started to grow fainter as the shadows began sinking deeper into my flesh, permeating themselves through each and every cell of my body. He was embedding himself into me and I felt a burning sensation claw itself into every limb attached to my body. I couldn’t help but want to cry out in pain, yet that wasn't possible due to the shadow tightly constricting itself around my neck like a snake. The only thing that my vocal chords managed to produce was a feeble scream that escaped my throat sounding like a small whisper of help.  The pain was so unbearably agonizing, and I couldn’t even express it by screaming out. I felt cold and numb, but the pain managed to pronounce itself loud and clear all throughout my body. I shut my eyes, praying for the sweet sensation of release as a tear managed to force itself out from my eyes.

Within a split second, something flashed through my mind. An image of a young girl in the middle of a flower field turning herself towards me. Her long hair had shielded her face, making her identity unrecognizable. The epiphany lasted for a few seconds, then I snapped my eyes wide open, feeling warmth start course through my veins again.

“N-No, I won’t l-let you…”

“Oh? What did you say now?” He asked, obviously trying to mock me.

The warmth slowly generated itself into overpowering strength that filled me up to the brim. I guess somewhere inside me, there were reserves of strength I didn’t even know I had. With my voice now miraculously audible, I assertively screamed out at the top of my lungs. As if my entire life’s existence depended on this one crucial moment.

“I said, I. Won’t. ing. Let. You. Get the HELL out of my mind right now!!”

The shadows vanished immediately afterwards and I fell to the ground like a corpse, landing on all fours. I was about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, coughing non-stop from my throat being momentarily weak and I attempted to get air back into my lungs. The overtones of my earlier outburst resonated in the distance. The further it travelled, the quieter it got thus eventually dying off. Then, only the silence from before became music to my ears. I breathed in. I breathed out. It was all over.

But I was wrong. Just when I felt I finally recovered from that traumatic experience, a blinding white light shined itself on my eyelids. I instinctively shot my arms over my face to shield myself from it. When the white’s intensity dissipated, I uncovered myself, proceeding to get up onto my feet while I observed my surroundings.

I now stood inside an unfamiliar blue room. It was illuminated by light shining in from a large window that was covered with translucent curtains. The walls? Painted a light blue as solid white and gold lines decorated it in squares and rectangles of varying sizes. On the other hand, there was a deep blue carpet that spread all across the room. Under my bare feet, it felt plush and soft to the touch. Overall, the room had very few things in it which left it relatively empty. On the left side of the room, there was a white wardrobe and a cushioned chair, with a painting sitting on top of a lonely wooden upright piano that sat right against the wall. On the right, there was nothing except for a big teddy bear that sat all by itself in the corner. I found it eccentric, but this room strangely gave off a quiet and peaceful atmosphere. What mainly caught my attention though, was the empty bed that sat in the middle of the room. The bed sheets were a complete mess, as if there had been someone sleeping in it earlier. As I approached it, I also noticed a few lily petals that were scattered across the pure white fabric. I was about to reach out and touch one, until I heard a voice speak out from behind me.

“You’ve come to visit me.”

I froze. I recognized that voice anywhere. I slowly drew my hand back and took a deep breath, hesitatingly turning around to face her.

“Long time no see Jin-ah, you look well. I missed you lots.”

Yoon Ara. The only girl who understood me better than my own parents.

I looked over at her, meeting her eyes. There was the innocent sparkle that I hadn’t seen in forever. She smiled sweetly at me, tilting her head ever so slightly.

She still has that small habit of hers I see.

Her slightly ruffled, chestnut brown waves rested on her shoulder, perfectly framing her face and I stared at the contrast between herdelicate, wine tinted lips and her deathly pale skin. She was wearing a simple summer dress that flowed from her body to the floor like waterfalls; the organza fabric covering her legs with floral lace designs that had been intricately sewn into it. She looked almost angelic.... yet distant.

Inside my chest, I felt unexplainably conflicted. I was calm yet nervous. Anxious, yet confident. Smitten and disgusted, all at the same time. It was so inexplicably confusing. We were both situated in an unfamiliar setting, but she was a familiar face. And I loathed everything about her. I still couldn’t forgive her for playing with my heart as she pleased, leaving me behind as if our relationship back then was all just a way to pass the time for her. Among my confusion, the only thing I couldn’t deny was the dull ache underlying it all. With the contradictory unrest happening in my heart, I could only wonder what expression I was showing on my face at the time.

“Well I didn’t.”

I lied.

“I never wanted to see you again,” I replied as I tried to remain as emotionless as possible, instantly regretting it afterwards. That sounded much colder than I’d meant for it to be. She still smiled though, bittersweet melancholy overshadowing her face.

“Ouch, you’re as dishonest with your words as always. I can’t blame you though.  I know what I did was wrong and I could beg for forgiveness, but we both know that can't fix the past.”

The dull ache grew apparent, while my feelings confused me even more than before. I couldn’t beat her; she definitely knew me inside out. I stared in silence, not knowing what to say as she took a step in my direction. I took a step back in response and tensed up, thinking that she would approach me. Instead, she continued past me and I stared at the back of her head in surprise. She stopped at the window, placing a hand on the windowsill as she looked out into the blinding light.

“...but despite going through all this, I still have one shameful request to make. I know I’m being selfish for asking this, but I want you to be the one to fulfill it Seokjin. Because you’re the only one that I can truly trust to do it.”

I remained silent. She continued on.

“There’s a certain somebody that I was supposed to meet again one day. She used to be my everything before I met you. But I can’t do that anymore. I’m stuck in this room, forever sealed away from the outside world.” She spoke calmly, the look in her eyes showing a complicated expression. Like she was hopelessly reaching out for something she could never touch or have.

“What is it that you want me to do Yoon Ara?”

She turned towards me, and I was surprised to see a tear roll down her cheek. For as long as I’d known her, she was never one to cry around anybody. Not even once had I ever seen her cry in person.

“There are only two people in this world that I’d give my everything to without hesitation. You oppa, and that girl. My request is simple.”

I swallowed.

“I want you to find her for me. Could you do that? I promise that after all of this is over, I’ll disappear from your sight forever.”

I stared intensely at her, my heart wavering as I took time to register into my mind what she just asked me. I anxiously wanted to tell her no, to turn away from everything and never look back again. To forget this had even happened, and erase it just like the rest of our memories together. Yet I couldn’t refuse the pleading look in her eyes. They had looked so undeniably sad and vulnerable, and she never called me Seokjin. The only times she ever did was the first time we met, and the last time I saw her. That’s how I knew, that this was going to be her last request.

“...Okay.”

I saw her widen her eyes for a moment, then attempt to smile. She was relieved from hearing my answer, but she started tearing up before she could form a complete smile. She continuously wiped her eyes, staining her arms and hands with her tears. Then, as if by instinct, I walked around the bed and stopped in front of where she stood. Without thinking, I raised my arms from the sides of my body and brought her closer to me, enveloping her in a firm hug. I rested a hand on her small waist, while holding the back of her head with the other hand. She returned the gesture by tenderly wrapping her arms around me, slowly my back. I could feel how cold her body was; it was ice cold like a corpse without any warmth at all. She had been violently shaking from how hard she had been silently crying into my shoulder, and I didn’t know what to feel. I couldn’t understand why I had hugged her when I was the one that was hurting, but I couldn’t help but embrace the gentle feeling. Then all signs of emotion vanished from inside me, as if they had been washed over by a wave.

After a while, she broke the hug, glistening tears streaming down her cheeks. I carefully wiped one cheek with my right hand as she placed her hand onto mine, gazing into my eyes with the love that we once shared. Her hand was cold like the rest of her body was, but I didn’t reject it. Her hand conveyed a nimiety of untold emotions that I understood just from her touch; how much sorrow and love that had filled her over all these past years. How lonely she had been.
 

“...How will I know to find her? Your special someone. ”

“Don't worry, she’s more similar to me than you think. You definitely can’t miss her.”

I nodded in silence, no more words needing to be communicated. Our foreheads touched, her ice cold body temperature mixing with mine.
 

“Thank you Kim Seokjin…. Thank you so, so much. Promise me that when you find her, you’ll stay by her side in my place. And tell her all about me will you?” She whispered softly, our two breaths intermingling with each other. It tickled our noses, but it didn’t matter. Not at all.

“I promise.”

I closed my eyes, slowly resting my lips on her forehead. It was how we made promises to each other. And only us.

“I love you Seokjin.”

I hesitated, unable to bring myself to say the same, but it was too late. She lightly laid her lips onto mine, sweetly kissing me like she used to. It was brief, but full of tender, caring emotion. And I felt tranquil and complete; something I hadn’t felt ever since she left long ago.

We separated, a single tear now escaping from my own eye. I didn’t know if it was from all the hate I felt for making me feel this way, or the unending hurt that she caused me. But I had missed her touch, and there was a sad, longing feeling left behind in my chest. A gaping hole within the heart that I had thought disappeared.

She smiled at me one last time, sweet and brief. Then everything disappeared into nothingness.

A/N: I've literally been waiting SO LONG for the day to release this chapter OML FINALLYYYYYY

 A bit of a darker chapter (hence the M warning on it) and more personalized towards our main hero here, but now we really get a bit of an inside look on what Jin's inner feelings are like when he isn't surrounded by people. In case any of you are too lazy to really look into it, the dark figure that tried to manipulate Jin represents all of his negativities; he's the embodiment of all his insecurities, pessimism, hate, etc... and he is in a constant battle between which one controls his mind and body. But damn though, what happened between Ara and Jin? Why's he so bitter about her? And why Jin of all people to fulfill her request? Hmm... lots to think about after this chapter.

Anyways, this chapter really laid down the finishing touches for the story's base so from here on out, the story's development should really start to take place based on what's been told so far. You'll be seeing the introduction of other BTS members and OCs in the future, as well as development in terms of friendship, love and self along the way so stay tuned and do spread the word about this story if you will ^-^ Enjoy!