“IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! WE DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! WE JUST WANNA MAKE THE WORLD DANCE! FORGET ABOUT THE PRICE TAG!!! Junmyeon screamed at the top of his lungs, missing a few notes here and there and landing face flat on the sofa when he tripped on the tower of cash he arranged himself. He continued his horrible fantastic singing even though his voice was muffled by the pillows.

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows. They were at the dorm and just hanging around. Some were inside their rooms doing who knows what and the others were in the living room.

Kyungsoo was glaring at the television screen that’s showing a rom-com while holding Tao in a headlock who was flailing his arms in a desperate attempt to free himself from Kyungsoo’s grip.

Jongin was asleep on the floor, saliva dripping generously from his mouth. Baekhyun scrunched his nose in disgust. He surveyed the living room and saw Luhan trying to feed Minseok his home-made bun. Minseok reluctantly accepted the poison food and chewed slowly. Baekhyun watched with interest as Minseok’s eyes suddenly grew big and he hastily stood up, probably to throw up in the bathroom. Luhan’s lips trembled. It’s only a matter of time before-

“Wahhhhhh!!!!!!! Minnie hates me!!!!” Luhan bawled and ran to his room. He slammed the door strong enough to startle Jongin who just went back to sleep, the amount of saliva dripping from his mouth now twice the amount.

Suddenly remembering the reason why he stayed in the dorms though he still has to buy the limited edition of his favorite eyeliner brand other important things to do, he looked at Junmyeon who was building his Junmoney Tower once again.

“Hyung?” he called.

Junmyeon looked up and waited for him to continue.

“Can you give lend me your card?” he asked, puppy eyes in full force.

“What if I don’t want to?” Junmyeon asked in a serious tone. What was Baekhyun planning this time?

Baekhyun grinned. “Remember when you got drunk?”

Junmyeon paled.

“I have pictures of you wearing a pink thong.” Baekhyun stated cheerfully. “and I wouldn’t mind sharing them to the world!” he finished with a proud grin.

Junmyeon gulped.

“Here.” he pulled his credit card out of thin air (because where else is the safest place to hide all those money?) and handed it to Baekhyun reluctantly.

“Uhm, you can let go of it now, you know?”  Baekhyun tried pulling the card from Junmyeon’s grip.

Junmyeon can’t help but shed a single tear as he released his hold of the card. He can’t stand the thought of being apart from his baby, but he has to do this. For his manly pride.

Somewhere (well more like two doors at his right), someone who sounded suspiciously like Luhan shrieked and a loud I’m the only manly man here! followed.

Junmyeon vowed to get his baby back as he stared at it sorrowfully. 

“Thanks!” Baekhyun beamed and made a beeline towards the door. He still has to buy the limited edition of his favorite eyeliner brand using Junmyeon’s card, but he doesn’t need to know about that contact Jongwoon and tell him the good news.

“Ahh..” his hand hovered over the doorknob and he turned around to face a weeping Junmyeon. “Unless you want your photos to grace *cough burn cough* other people’s eyes, you may want to start convincing the other members to work for our company. All.of.them.” he winked and opened the door, humming cheerfully as he thought about all possible things he can do with Junmyeon’s card.

As he turned around the corner, a loud wail filled the hallway.

“MY BABY!!!!!”

-----------------------

In Super Junior’s dorm, Donghae stared dejectedly at the clothes he’s knitting. His brows furrowed when he noticed that one eye of the fish he was trying to make was placed higher than the other. He threw the unfinished piece which hit Hyukjae who was sleeping on the floor. Said man didn’t even stir and just snored.

Donghae plopped down on the sofa only to get up again when he felt something sharp poke his back. Eyeing the sofa suspiciously, he removed the sofa cover in one swift move only to be greeted by Jongwoon holding a bloody knife and a manic grin on his face. 

Donghae shrieked and moved away at the speed of light from the older man, stepping on Hyukjae’s outstretched hand, well more like on his index finger, but Hyukjae just snored and his thumb.

Donghae stared at Jongwoon with wide eyes. He didn’t expect to die at this age. His poem for his brother fishes was not even finished!

Donghae gathered every ounce of courage that’s left of him and tried not to pee because who knows what his bladder could do at this time.

“H-hyung, why are you holding a knife?” he asked cautiously.

Jongwoon slowly stood up and started walking towards him.

“REVENGE!!” Jongwoon screeched and threw his hands up in the air. “REVENGE!! I SHALL AVENGE THE DEATH OF THOSE POOR SOULS WHO WERE PUNISHED, TORTURED-”

Now, Donghae thought, what was his hyung going at?

“- TAKEN AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES, ABUSED, LOST THEIR CHILDREN, ATE THEIR EGGS AND WHOSE EGGS WERE EATEN-”

What?!

“MY POOR FRIENDS TURTLES AND TORTOISE, I SHALL GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU DESERVE-”

Donghae stared at his hyung incredulously and slowly inched away from him when Jongwoon started to laugh maniacally. Maybe Jongwoon has not taken his medication yet, which is just 10 cups of pure black coffee poured into turtle shaped mugs.

Jongwoon suddenly stopped and stared at Donghae. He stared and stared and stared and waved at Donghae using his hand that was holding the knife.

“Hi Hae! Great day it is, huh?” he asked nonchalantly. “Did you see the birds today? They look so white and just wow! I thought I saw some blue ones too or maybe it’s just the bird on Teukie’s boxers.” he shrugged and his invisible beard.

Donghae’s mouth fell open. What was that?

Jongwoon looked at him with a questioning gaze. “Hey! Why do you look so stunned? You’re sooo weird. Weirdooo!”

Look who’s talking.  

Donghae blinked and cleared his throat. “Uhm, why are you holding a knife hyung?” he repeated.

Jongwoon beamed. “Oh! I was just practicing. I prepared a little show for Ddangkkoming and Ddangkomaeng. Ddangkoma will watch too via live streaming!” he paused and suddenly looked uncertain. “Hey? Do you think they’ll like it?”

Donghae just nodded because he didn’t want to start an argument with the older man, but was a knife really necessary?

“Is that blood?”

Jongwoon shook his head. “I stole Hyukie’s last bottle of red hair dye and ta-dah! A great masterpiece by the Kim Jongwoon was born.” he stated, brandishing the knife proudly.

Donghae nodded in understanding and bid goodbye to the older. He remembered that he still has to watch Little Mermaid 2 while hugging his Nemo plushie.

“Ah! Before I forget-”

Donghae turned around to face Jongwoon, his hand hovering over the doorknob of his room.

“You have to convince the other members to model for us by the end of this week or else-” Jongwoon purposely cut what he was trying to say and an evil glint appeared on his eyes.

Donghae shuddered and nodded frantically before hurriedly opening the door to his room and slamming it close. His hyung will be the death of him, Donghae thought as he clutched his chest.

Donghae’s eyes caught Nemo plushie’s eyes. He tentatively took a step closer to it before-

“MOMMY SAVE ME!!!!!”