It all started when Donghae thought it was a smart idea to bring a turtle maniac and an eyeliner diva together, something about building camaraderie with their dongsaengs and also because he didn’t want to eat alone. He just dragged the first person he saw coming out of the company, which happened to be Baekhyun. Jongwoon just kind of tagged along, apparently because Ddangkkoming hurt his feelings when it refused to come out of its shell when he forced invited it to drink coffee with him.

“So, what do you think about setting up our own eyeliner company?” Baekhyun asked excitedly, khol lined eyes beaming with excitement.

“We could make it big! Just think of the money we could get! I already have a few people in mind. There’s Sunggyu and Himchan and V and N and M and O and P-”

“Who’s M?” Jongwoon cut him off. “and O and P?” He asked bewildered. If his memory serves him right, he doesn’t know any idol that goes by those names.

“You don’t know them?!” Baekhyun screamed, gathering the attention of those in the restaurant they’re in. In the distance (more like two seats at their right), frantic clicks of camera and not so muffled screams of he’s hawt and that’s my boy which sounded suspiciously like Chanyeol and Junmyeon could be heard. The sound of chair scraping against the floor and a not so discreet they might notice us shh and protest of but my baby’s thinking of money! followed.

Donghae sighed. He shouldn’t have brought those two together. He’s not up for weirdness. Maybe he should have called Hyukjae while taking a bath because yes, that’s completely normal.

“Really hyung?” Baekhyun deadpanned and stared at Jongwoon as if he’s the most ignorant person out there.

He suddenly laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and passed out, the sound of his teeth hitting the table echoed in the silence.

A voice that sounded like Junmyeon cackled and the fast clicking of camera and a “this is so gonna go to my blackmail portfolio I can already smell the money” followed.

Donghae and Jongwoon just stared at the motionless brown head when suddenly, said head shot up so fast that Jongwoon let out a squeak (a manly squeak he insisted when Donghae looked at him with both eyebrows raised) and its owner laughed again.

Baekhyun wiped the tears (whether it’s from his laughter or the pain of kissing the table, no one knows) and eyed Jongwoon, amused at the older man’s apparent lack of knowledge.

“Tsk tsk! What should we do?” Baekhyun asked dejectedly, but a huge smile was still plastered on his face.

Donghae wanted to get a sharpie and trace Baekhyun’s mouth. He cackled inwardly. Hyukjae lost. Donghae fished out his phone and not so secretly took a picture of Baekhyun, particularly focusing on the latter’s rectangular mouth. He’s so extorting money out of Hyukjae.

Donghae didn’t notice that he looked like a e looking at Baekhyun with a huge grin on his face and his phone still up in the air. Baekhyun didn’t seem to mind and even beamed and posed for the camera. Donghae’s grin widened and he took as many shots as possible. When he thought it was enough, he kept his phone and drank his still hot coffee, effectively burning his throat.

Baekhyun recovered from his photo shoot mode and turned his attention to Jongwoon.

“Really hyung?” he repeated. Jongwoon shook his head, sending Baekhyun into another laughing fit.

“So you don’t know them. Good because I don’t know them too!” Baekhyun exclaimed and clutched his stomach as he doubled over in laughter, all too happy for messing with the older.

Jongwoon wanted to punch Baekhyun’s face.

….and he did.

Well, more liked slapped Baekhyun because he’s a good hyung and he doesn’t want to get sued.

Baekhyun’s mouth fell open as he touched his hurt cheek.

Jongwoon smiled widely and Baekhyun sensed the I’ll-kill-you-in-your-sleep aura the older is famous for.

“Sorry, my hand kind of slipped.” Jongwoon explained while waving the offending hand. “I hope you don’t mind?” Jongwoon smiled sweetly, but his eyes flashed a dangerous glint.

Of course Baekhyun minds! It was his beautiful face that was slapped for goodness sake! But he still valued his life, so Baekhyun just nodded and smiled though he just looked like he ate something sour.

“It’s alright…of course…ha..ha..ha..” he laughed awkwardly though he just wanted to curl up in a ball and apply his favorite shade of eyeliner. “Getting slapped is just my style!”

What?! Did you think he’d cry? No! Crying is for the weak. Byun Baekhyun is not weak. He’s awesome.

With renewed confidence, he flipped his non-existent long hair and cleared his throat.

“Right. I could extort some cash from Junmyeon hyung or blackmail Kris hyung into modeling for us.” Baekhyun nodded as if that’s the most normal thing to do when a brilliant plan popped in his mind.

“I knew it!” He turned to face Donghae and suddenly broke into a wide grin.  

Donghae shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He contemplated running away, but was prevented from doing so when Baekhyun grabbed his arm and held it tightly.

“You wouldn’t mind modeling for us, right hyung?” Baekhyun asked with wide eyes rivaling Kyungsoo’s.

Donghae was sure he didn’t want to know what was brewing inside Baekhyun’s mind. He just had a bad feeling about it.

“Of course he wouldn’t.” Jongwoon answered for him.

Donghae stared at Jongwoon.

Jongwoon stared back.

“He wouldn’t want pictures of him taking a bath spread online, right Hae?” Jongwoon added in a sickeningly sweet voice which contrasted the evil glint in his eyes.

Donghae contemplated poisoning Ddangkkoming and maybe Ddangkomaeng too when he gets home, but that would also mean death at the hands of a turtle maniac, so he erased that thought from his mind. He still values his life thank you very much!

He nodded and forced a smile though it came out more like a grimace.

Baekhyun released his grip on Donghae and exhaled loudly. “Good!”

Donghae wondered what Baekhyun ate for breakfast.

“But why me?” Donghae whined.

“Gotta use every resource wisely.” Baekhyun held out his hand at Jongwoon and gave him a thumbs-up which the latter returned with a small dance of the eyebrows, but Donghae really couldn’t be so sure with all those bangs covering Jongwoon’s entire forehead.

Donghae decided to ignore them especially when the two decided to have a contest about who could best imitate the shibrows. Donghae took one last glance at the bickering pair now screaming their heads off (and was that a baseball bat Jongwoon was holding?!) before bolting towards the door. He still has to feed his fishes and knit fishy clothes for them.