Chapter 17 - Let it snow!
Halfway ThroughThe place that was filled with laughter a while ago, turned quiet that you could hear the wind gusting around. The moon shone quite dimly than usual and the atmosphere became gloomy that it added to the coolness of the surroundings. Jong Kook looked at Suk Jin and Jae Suk's eyes intently. They also grew silent. It's as if they are trying to sense how they could calm each other at that moment where they are all flustered and unsure of their own emotions.
However, the two older men felt Jong Kook's sincerity. They both know him well and they know that he will not let them stop him, but they thought that it could be dangerous. As much as they trust him, they can't let him go through that storm-like weather by himself. Especially, since, they're not even sure if Ji Hyo's really out there.
"We have to make sure that you're right." Jae Suk finally broke the silence, assuring his dongsaeng that they're just trying to help him.
Jong Kook, on the other hand, had no choice but to agree. He nodded his head and Jae Suk took out his phone and called Gary.
At the lodge, Gary and Joong Ki placed their equipments by the door and they hung their coats and hats on the rack. Gary went to the kitchen to heat up some water when he felt his phone buzzing because of a phone call. He turned the water heater off and answered the call while walking to the upper level of the lodge.
"How's everything there?" Jae Suk's voice echoed worriedly from the other line.
"Hyung, they're not here yet. Joong Ki's the only one here with me." He said as he checked the rooms. When he bumped into the owner of the place, he asked him if he saw them arrive, but the owner shook his head.
"What do you mean?"
"They're...oh..." Gary suddenly stopped when it became noisy downstairs. He ran down the stairs and saw his friends arrive.
"That was one hellish snow." Haha exclaimed as he removed his hat.
"Let's hang out at the fireplace." Kwang Soo suggested.
"Yeah!" Lizzy cheered.
Gary walked with them to the fireplace, forgetting the phone call.
"Ya, Kang Gary." Gary heard a faint sound, only then did he realize that Jae Suk was still waiting on the other line.
"Hyung, mianhe."
"What happened?"
"They're here, hyung." He said excitedly.
"......What about Ji Hyo?..." Jae Suk sounded like he's nervous.
"She's-." He paused. "Ya, guys, where's Ji Hyo?"
"Didn't she go back ahead of us?" Lizzy asked.
"No one was here when Gary hyung and I came." Joong Ki reported.
"But...." Lizzy paused. "She said, I think that was an hour ago, that she's going to go back first since she's suddenly not feeling well."
Everyone inside the room looked at each other. Gary dashed out of the living room and the rest soon followed. They ran around and looked for her in every room. They cried her name out in succession. When they didn't find any sign of her, they all went outside to continue their search.
Back in the snow field, Jae Suk ended the phone call with a gloomy face. "S-she's not with them."
After hearing his statement, Jong Kook immediately dropped everything he's holding and ran through the snow.
"Jong Kook-ah." Suk Jin tried to call him but he was already nowhere to be seen. "Jae Suk-ah, we have to find her..." He paused and he cleared his throat. "Soon."
"I know..." Jae Suk felt his face turning pale. "...we need help."
Jong Kook gritted his teeth. He felt the cold wind brushing against his exposed skin as he traversed the tracks with quite a speed. His heart started to jump uncontrollably against his chest but he tried to compose himself. Calm down, she'll be fine, she's an ace. Nothing bad is going to happen to her. He chanted inside his head as he blamed himself for not looking for her earlier.
When they were enjoying the view from the top of the ski track, at least Jae Suk and Suk Jin enjoyed it, the rest of the members caught his eyes. They were fighting by throwing snowballs at each other and they were running around like little kids under the first snowfall of the year. His gaze then focused on Ji Hyo, who stood out effortlessly from the group. She was holding her tummy while watching Kwang Soo run away from Haha. Jong Kook found himself smiling while looking at her. I hope you'll always smile like that. He bit his lower lip to control his watery eyes. You will not cry anymore, Ji Hyo-ah, because I am not going to trouble you anymore. I am going to leave you alone....as you wish. He started to move his way down the hill, his hands gripping tightly against the ski poles.
A few hours later, the snow started to fall and the wind breezed a lot cooler. Jong Kook crossed path with the members again and he unconsciously stopped to look at them. When he caught himself, he prepared to walk away, but he suddenly sensed something weird. They were still laughing and running around, but Ji Hyo wasn't with them. He looked around worriedly. When he didn't see her, he started to panic, but just before they could see him, he stopped and turned around. Just leave her alone, Jong Kook. He said to himself and made his way to Jae Suk and Suk Jin.
He struggled to move his feet in and out of the snow. "Ji Hyo-ah." He shouted with all his might though his voice was hoarse and dry. He swallowed what was left off of his energy and called out her name again.
He walked a few more meters before he started to feel the cold weather draining all of his strength. He stumbled a bit and wobbled when he arrived the farther part of the place. Pine trees started to grow in number and he stopped in front of one of the trees to catch his breath. His head spun as he placed his hand on the trunk of the tree to support himself. He raised his head and closed his eyes. Ji Hyo's face flashed in his head. The longer the thought of not finding her comes to his mind, the more he felt scared.
"Ji Hyo, please, where are you?" He mumbled beneath his breath.
When he took a step forward, his heart jumped. The next thing he knew, he was slipping down a hill. It was fast when he felt the flat ground again. He lay down his back against the snow and felt his shoulders hurting a little. The fall made him lose more of his strength and he felt like he's starting to become unconscious. Ji Hyo. Ji Hyo-ah, sorry.
♦♦♦
Jong Kook ran faster. Seong Im-ah, I'm sorry. He thought as he imagines what he just did. A while ago, Gap Jin called him, reminding him that everything is ready. He asked his friend to help him prepare a small dinner for Seong Im for getting her new job, but he blew it all. He just made her feel bad and asked her to leave without even explaining. Now, he wonders how he will make her go back. He can't believe that he pushed her away just because of his ego. Just because he couldn't let her see him living pathetically, with no money and no job. He just couldn't take it if he cannot protect her anymore.
He arrived at the lobby and he looked around, but Seong Im was already nowhere to be seen. He ran to the parking lot and rode his car. The bruises on his hand started to kick in, but he still drove to Seong Im's workplace to see if she went there.
"Are you sure?" He asked one of Seong Im's friend at the coffeehouse.
"Yeah. I haven't heard anything from her since she left a while ago. I know where she used to live though."
Jong Kook drove to Seong Im's old apartment and knocked on the door. An old lady came from behind him.
"Who are you looking for? That room is empty, the owners left for a vacation."
"Annyeonghaseyo." He greeted. "I'm actually looking for the girl who used to live here. Her name is Cheon Seong Im."
"Cheon Seong Im..." She stopped as if she's trying to remember. "Oh that girl. I never saw her ever since I asked her to leave. She just had too many debts and I can't take it. Too bad I had to drive her away, she was a really nice girl."
"Ohh." He said sadly. "But if she'll ever drop by here...could you text or call this number and inform me. She has no place to sleep for tonight and if she asks for your help, please lend her a room. I'll be the one to pay for it."
"Ohh, you must be her friend then. You look like a nice guy. She sure is lucky to find you. Okay, I'll inform you." The woman left.
Nice guy? He smirked.
He drove around Seongsu-dong trying to look for Seong Im. When it was very late, he started to feel disheartened and he drove his way to the place he prepared for her.
The place was dark and lonely, when he came, but when he the lights, the beautiful garden came into sight. It would have been a magical night if he had the chance to take her there. It was a small garden with lights hanging on the walls and a few balloons scattered on the floor. There's a table for two in the middle and he sat on one of the chairs to support his tired body.
He took out his phone and stared at it blankly. He waited for someone to call and inform him that Seong Im is with them and that she's safe. He placed his phone on top of the table and lazily took out the small pink box hidden at the center of the table and opened it. He set his eyes on the silver necklace inside and sighed. He was supposed to give it to her as a gift. He had been bugging to give her necklace back but she always refused.
"That's the only way I could thank you, oppa. At least you could keep it for a while." That's what she used to say.
And this necklace is my way to thank you...for coming into my life, but I guess it's useless now. He smiled sadly.
"Oh hyung, where's Seong Im."
He looked up to Gap Jin and he looked back at the box and closed it. He stood up, leaving the box behind, and left the place. Before he exited the place, he turned to Gap Jin. "Sorry for the trouble Gap Jin-ah, but you can clean this place up now."
"Hyung."
♦♦♦
No. I have to find her. Instead of falling unconscious, Jong Kook slowly tried to stand. He was scared of the fact that Ji Hyo had been out there in that cold weather for hours. Ji Hyo, I promised that I'll leave you alone...I'm sorry. I know how much you hate me. I know I've hurt you, really, really bad. I know that I've made you cry. I'm a jerk and....I'm breaking my promise again...but I can't just do nothing. I can't leave you alone, even if that's what you wanted me to do. Just let me find you and I promise...I will not let you see my face...ever again. He turned his body such that it is facing the ground. He slowly bent his shoulders and his knees to push himself up. When his hands landed on the snow, he felt something soft. He dug into the snow weakly and found a pink scarf buried under it.
His body, though weak, felt a lot more alive when he thought that it could be Ji Hyo's.
Jong Kook stopped on his track. His heart got crushed when he saw Ji Hyo, lying helplessly against the tree, with snow slowly accumulating around her. The pain in his body didn't even matter anymore. He quickly ran to her side and he knelt down.
He held her shoulders lightly and shook them a little. "Ji Hyo." He shook her gently again. "Ji Hyo-ah." But there was no response from her. He felt her body and her body temperature seemed to have dropped really low. Her face was cold and her lips were pale and frosted.
He held her closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around her body to shield her from the cold. He released her from his embrace to look if she's giving any response. "Ji Hyo, wake up. You have to wake up." His voice was shaking uncontrollably. "Please, you have to open your eyes Ace." He choked on his words and he breathed heavily.
He took off his jacket and he put it around her. He pulled her in his arms again and he nervously squeezed her closely to him, hoping that he could pass all of the heat from his body. When he looked at her, there was still no feedback from her. He cradled her in his right arm and he caressed her face softly with his left hand. He tried to feel her breathing and he became flustered to not get any sign of it. His left hand was trembling as he moved it across her neck and he slowly placed his index and middle fingers on the side of her neck, just under her jaw, to check for her pulse. Jong Kook couldn't hold his tears back anymore. He let them fall from his eyes as he struggled to find her pulse.
Jong Kook quickly rested her on her back. Ji Hyo wasn't giving any signs of a pulse or a breathing that's why he needed to perform CPR on her. He knelt beside her and started to push down her chest repeatedly. He felt like his shoulders stinging but he didn't stop. He knew that he needed to do it properly. If he makes a mistake while doing it, instead of saving her, he could put her life in danger. He would check her face from time to time and he felt himself dying every time she didn't give any response. After compressing her chest for 30 times, he gently tilted her head back and lifted her chin up to clear her airway. He lowered down his head to hers and tried to feel if she's already breathing. When he got no response, he pinched her nose and locked with his, breathing in air for her. He lifted his head to check if she reciprocated and breathed in air again when she didn't. Jong Kook felt his world is falling apart when Ji Hyo still hasn't breathed after the first cycle of the CPR. He continued to push down her chest despite the injuries kicking in with every movement he does.
For a few rounds, he gave all of the strength he has left to desperately try to wake up the woman in front of him. During the third round, when he was about to breathe into her, he suddenly felt that he was going to pass out anytime. He covered again with his and breathed in air, giving out all that he could. Suddenly, he fell beside her. The snow fell against his skin while his eyes are slowly closing. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. I'm sorry. Just before he finally lost his consciousness, something gripped onto his hand lightly.
"Kim Jong Kook."
Ji Hyo slowly opened her eyes. She heard a faint sound of people talking and she turned her head to look at them. Her vision was blurry but she could form the silhouette of someone approaching her. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened to her.
The members were still sightseeing when she suddenly felt dizzy. It must be because she hadn't been taking care of herself in the past few days. When she felt very weak, she told Lizzy that she'll go ahead.
"Will you be fine going alone?"
"Yes, of course."
"I'm just worried...you might get lost. You're really blank you know." Lizzy teased.
"Ya!" She shouted weakly.
While walking back to the lodge, because of her condition, she stumbled a little and slipped from quite a steep slope. When she tried to stand up, her ankle hurts a lot that she screamed in pain.
"Aishhh. Ouch." Tears started to form in her eyes. She tried to stand up once again, but this time, she tried not to let her right foot touch the ground. She took a few limping steps while supporting herself with the trees. After a few minutes, she sat on one of the trunk of the trees while shivering.
"Unni."
Ji Hyo opened her eyes once again. She could clearly see Lizzy's face and behind her stood the running man members. She smiled weakly to them. She looked at them one by one and she suddenly frowned when she realized that someone was missing.
"Let's let her rest. It's a good thing that we know that she had woken up." Suk Jin suggested and all of them left the room, except for Lizzy and Jae Suk.
"Miss Mong, what do you feel? Do you want us to call the doctor."
Ji Hyo shook her head.
"Unni, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you go back to the lodge alone."
Ji Hyo tried to sit up though she was feeling weak. Jae Suk and Lizzy supported her. "What happened?"
"You had a severe hypothermia after being out in the snow for a long time, especially since you were sick. The doctors said that we are lucky to have found you as soon as possible. It's really very dangerous to be in that condition."
Ji Hyo shifted her head to the other side. "I'm sorry, for troubling you all."
"Actually, Jong Kook was the one who found you and saved you."
After hearing his name, Ji Hyo looked at them shocked. "Where is he?"
"Oppa's admitted in the next room. It seemed like, he also fell from the hill and he had some injuries. Also-."
Ji Hyo took out all of the medical apparatus that had been stuck to her. The two tried to stop her but they were too late.
"Unni, what are you doing?" Lizzy asked as Ji Hyo came down from the bed.
"Ji Hyo, you need to rest."
But Ji Hyo wasn't listening, she walked out of the room and entered the room next to her. The other members were inside and they were shocked to see Ji Hyo, who was still wearing the hospital gown, standing in front of them. Slowly, she walked closer to Jong Kook, who was already standing in his casual long sleeved sweatshirt and pants. He looked like he was already preparing to leave.
"Where are you going?"
Jong Kook gave a look at the members as if asking them to leave for a while. They one by one walked out of the room. When the door was finally closed, Jong Kook looked back at her.
"Where are you going?" Ji Hyo repeated.
"Ji Hyo, you need to rest, just go back to your room." He responded as if he didn't hear what she was asking him.
"No. I am not going back."
He smirked. "Stop acting childishly Ji Hyo, let's go." He held her wrist and was about to send her out but she pulled back.
Ji Hyo just stood there with tears already flowing from her eyes.
"Ji Hyo. Go back!" Jong Kook shouted. He hated to see her crying because of him again.
"I don't want to." Ji Hyo replied like a kid. "Answer my question first."
His mouth gaped open to see her acting like that. "What's gotten into you?"
"Where are you going?" She asked again.
"Fine. You want to know? I am going away...from you."
"Mwuh?"
"You hate me right? You do not want to see me, so I am leaving. I am not going to trouble you again. I'm going to give you what you want."
"Do you hate me?"
"Wha-. This is not about me hating you or not. I'm just granting your wish." He said in a pissed off voice.
"Why?"
"Are you kidding me?" Jong Kook shook his head and turned around. He was about to walk out of the door.
"Don't go." Ji Hyo mumbled.
He sighed deeply. He is very confused. He had finally decided to let her live on her own but she's making it difficult for him. "If you're just feeling guilty, don't worry about me." He held the knob.
"No oppa, don't leave me."
Jong Kook turned around. "What kind of bull is this, Ji Hyo-ah?" He shouted. "Why are you like this? Why are you confusing me? Why does it look like you're the only one who's having a hard time? This is very difficult for me too, Ji Hyo. If you hate me so much that you're doing this, please stop it, because it hurts. I get hurt too. It hurts to see you cry because of me. It hurts when you keep on pushing me away. And I'm tired of getting hurt."
Ji Hyo blinked some of her tears away. She knew that she had been hurting him too. And she hates herself for doing that. "I thought I can handle it. I thought I was okay. But I'm not. Every time I see you the pain keeps on coming back." Ji Hyo said while trying to stop herself from crying.
"I know. That's why-."
"But..." She interrupted his words. "It also hurts. No, it hurts even more...when you're not around, when I push you away. Especially, because the truth is I just wanted you to hold me in your arms, protect me, and never let me go." She gripped into her dress and bit her lip. "It hurts because I can't tell you how I feel. I can't tell you how much I want you in my life because I'm scared, that if I do, I will completely lose you."
She took all her courage and looked into his eyes. "When I was alone, in that snow. I cried. I didn't cry because I was afraid to die. I cried because I was afraid to die, without ever telling you, how sorry I am, for pushing you away, for hurting you. I was afraid that if I close my eyes, I wouldn't be able to see you anymore. I was afraid that I couldn't tell you, how much....how much I love you."
"I know that I don't deserve to ask anything from you anymore, because I was the one who kept on telling you to go. But at least, you deserve to know, that I never wanted you to leave, even if it hurts, even if I always cry when I'm with you, I still want you in my life."
Jong Kook dropped his bag and walked to her. He cupped her face and connected his lips to hers. He kissed her passionately expressing how happy he is to hear her say the she loves him. He pulled her closer, expressing the things he knew that words wouldn't be enough to tell.
When he felt that she was out of breath, he pulled away. He looked into her eyes and he wiped the tears on her cheeks. Ji Hyo looked shocked but she just stared at him too. Their hearts were beating really fast but they maintained their close distance, as if they do not want to be separated from each other again.
"I love you." Jong Kook said, full of sincerity.
"Kim Jong Kook." Ji Hyo still couldn't believe what was happening. "W-what did you say?"
Jong Kook laughed a little at the cute woman standing before him. "I love you." He said as sincerely as before.
Ji Hyo blankly looked at him. "You do?"
"Yes, why, you don't believe me?"
Ji Hyo shook her head.
"Ya!" He whined.
"But, you-."
"I have always loved you, Song Ji Hyo. You might be too blank to notice it but I always did. I know this might be crazy but I have loved you ever since you were Seong Im. When you came back, I was scared, that I didn't know you anymore but it didn't matter. I loved you still. I'm sorry for letting you confess before me, but I guess I was scared too. I-I was prepared to love you from afar but how could I lie now, when the girl I've always loved is already here in front of me, saying that she loves me." He stopped and studied her face. "Unless, you didn't mean it."
"Of course, I meant it pabo." She shouted.
"No need to curse, were in a hospital."
"Ya!"
He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. He then knelt down in front of her.
"Oi, what are you doing?" Ji Hyo flustered.
"Song Ji Hyo, I might not be the perfect guy for you. This may not be the right place and time to ask this...but I would like to protect you and love you with all my life. Will you....be my girlfriend?"
Ji Hyo never thought that she could be shocked for a lot of times in one day. "Ya, stand up."
Jong Kook shook his head.
"Ya, are you trying to be cute?"
"Oh, come on, just answer me, please. The suspense is killing me more and more. I feel like my heart is going to explode."
"Don't exaggerate. You're not even asking to marry me."
"I think it's going to be the same feeling, but if you want I could change my question."
"Stop it!" Ji Hyo smiled. "Stand up."
Jong Kook finally stood up but he avoided her eyes.
"Gosh, why are you suddenly so shy? You even kissed me already."
Jong Kook felt his ears burning. "I was just...shocked."
"If that's how you get shock, I will not try to surprise you ever." She then held his chin and made him look into her eyes.
He stared at her lovingly while holding her cheeks.
Ji Hyo placed her hand on top of Jong Kook's. "I'm sorry, for hurting you. And if you're really sure of being my boyfriend, then, yes, Kookie, I would love to be your girlfriend." She smiled.
Jong Kook pulled Ji Hyo to his embrace. He held her as if he doesn't want to let go. "Thank you, I'm so happy, Ji Hyo."
They hugged for a while with Jong Kook rubbing her hair.
"Ji Hyo-ah."
"Hmmm?"
"You should go back to your room, you need to take a rest."
Ji Hyo pulled his right sleeve to her chest. "A-are you leaving?"
He let go of her for and he pinched her nose. "I am not going to do that. Not anymore, but you need to rest and we I already told everyone that I'm going home. I'll message you when I get home."
She smiled. "Okay. I'll go."
"That's my girl."
They hugged for the last time. This time, Ji Hyo shoved her head in his chest, relishing their moment together.
Suddenly, the door to Jong Kook's room opened.
"Hyung, is everything-."
They both turned to the door with faces crimson red and mouth left open.
"You, I, I'll come back later-." Gap Jin stuttered.
"No. Don't. I'll go home. I'll just send Ji Hyo to her room." Jong Kook tried to act cool.
Jong Kook rode the car with Gap Jin. He was quietly sitting beside the driver's seat, but he's slowly starting to get annoyed with his manager.
"Will you stop smiling?"
"M-mwuh? Me?"
"Aish."
"Are you feeling better, hyung?" Gap Jin asked, but his voice sounded like he's teasing.
"You want me to send you to the hospital."
"What?" He acted and he started to laugh.
Jong Kook just shifted his eyes outside the window and ignored his manager.
"I'm happy for you, hyung."
He turned his eyes to his manager.
"I know how devastated you were when she left. I thought that you will forever be just Kim Jong Kook, the boring and snob singer, no offense, but when she came back, I saw you become very happy again. I just hope happiness for the both of you."
"Thank you, Gap Jin-ah."
"But hyung, aren't you going to ask her why she left? What happened between the two of you?"
Jong Kook kept quiet for a while. "I want to ask her...but I don't want to suddenly drop the question to her. I'm pretty sure we'll have time to talk about that."
"Hyung, you know that I want you to be happy, but what about the media? You know that they want you to be with Eun Hye, and the Monday Couple is slowly gaining popularity, how will you work that out?"
"That's why you are not going to say anything about this to anyone. We still need to talk about it."
"Ya, I can keep secrets."
"If you say so."
As soon as Jong Kook arrived at his apartment, he took out his phone and messaged his girlfriend.
"How's the Ace doing?"
After a few minutes, he heard his phone beeping.
"Sleeping. ^^"
"So, are you sleep-typing?"
"No, I am typing in my dreams."
"Trying to be funny? Can I call you?"
"Miss me already?"
"So much."
"Aigoo. Yeah, you can call."
"Yeoboseyo?"
"Hi."
"Who is this?" Ji Hyo teased.
Jong Kook laughed from the other line. "Your future husband."
"Oh, really? Well, sorry but I'm a celibate."
"I miss you."
"Are you changing the topic?"
"I'm saying the truth."
Ji Hyo chuckled.
"Who's with you?"
"No one."
"Ohh, why?"
"Jae Suk oppa and the others left an hour ago. Kang Hyeon oppa's coming in a while. Lizzy went to the cafe."
The doorbell to Jong Kook's room suddenly rang. "Oh, just a sec, someone's at the door?" He looked at the monitor and his jaw dropped when he saw his visitor.
"Oppa, who is it?"
"I-I'll call you back."
Ji Hyo felt weird when Jong Kook suddenly hung up on him. She fidgeted her fingers while thinking of the possible people who would visit Jong Kook. After a while, the medicine kicked in and she fell asleep.
"Annyeong, oppa!" Eun Hye greeted cheerfully.
A/N: Update!! And it's early :))) Hope you liked it!
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