Once all of my friends knew that I wasn't "sick", at least not physically, I found myself smiling again.

For the month of December I was convinced that an apology from Jimin was the only thing that could bring joy back into my life, but how hormonal and idiodic I had been. It was almost the end of January and I still hadn't gotten a word from him, yet I was okay. I was going to be okay.

Yoongi, Namjoon, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Taehyung were very good about keeping things lively around me. They would come over to my house a few times a week, watch some movies or just talk with me, and always ask if I wanted to come to work when they left. I always replied with "no, not yet."

I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. Something in me was still too scared to see Jimin face to face, but the other five were giving me mixed singles. Seokjin and Hoseok both mentioned that they caught Jimin crying. I could tell Hoseok knew more than he was willing to tell me, but I didn't push. We all had secrets.

One day, Namjoon asked me if I was still crushing on Jimin.

We sat on my couch with our feet kicked up on a foot stool, flipping through the TV channels. I just sighed and momentarily weighed my options before answering honestly, "Yes."

Namjoon and Yoongi wrote down a lot of stuff I told them if I said anything "deep," as they phrased it. They were both into writing songs and they said it was inspirational, even though to me it was nothing but daily thoughts.

After I told Namjoon I still liked Jimin, he assumed that face of shock and wonder like he did when he was about to whip out the notebook and jot down some inspirational song lyrics.  "Really? Even though you haven't seen him in a month?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

Of course I still liked Jimin. My feelings had definitely changed, but not in the way my parents or my friends expected. I was no longer obsessed with the way he looked and constantly thinking about kissing him and holding him. Instead it was sort of just...there, the feeling of desire and respect for him I had in my heart. I had already accepted that he wasn't attracted to me, so my entire body had taken to waiting peacefully, waiting for him to do something. I didn't think about him much anymore, but when I did it was no longer painful. I just happily thought about the memories we had and looked forward to the times we would be able to make memories again.

My psychiatrist, whom I had only seen three times since the day I was diagnosed, seemed thrilled when I gave him that exact speech. He told me I was recovering quickly from the depression, and that it was the love from my friends and my parents that would get me through the (thankfully) temporary stage in my life.

My parents were beyond ecstatic that I no longer needed antidepressants. They hadn't bought me any like I'd asked, but my umma was horribly stressed about it for a month and kept begging me to let her buy them. Appa told me that seeing my smile for the first time in too many weeks was like seeing the sun rise after a very, very long night.

On February 1st, several things happened.

I sat in last hour with Seokjin reading and writing down observations I made about the text, when my teacher came over. She was smiling to her ears when she told me I had the opportunity to try switching to building one for the last quarter of the school year.

I opened my mouth and eyes wide, turning to Seokjin for support, and found him beaming like a proud father. I told my teacher I would love to give it a try, as long as they didn't put me in any fancy honors classes. She told me to meet with my classes counselor and figure that out on my own before fourth quarter.

That same day was the first day of the year Seokjin persuaded me to walk with him to Hoseok's house.

"Is Jimin going to be there?" I asked him nervously as we made our way down the main staircase towards the horrible slushy atmosphere outdoors.

"Yes."

I swallowed hard but was relieved to find I was only nervous, not repulsed. "What is he going to say?"

"You won't have to talk to him yet. Just talk to me and Hoseok for now."

Hoseok and Jimin stood shivering in their jeans and light jackets by the entrance. I took a deep breath and stuck to Seokjin's side, forcing myself to look anywhere but the two boys before us.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok shrieked as soon as we trespassed his field of vision. Flailing arms captured me into a choke-worthy embrace. "Jungkookie, Jungkookie, Jungkookie!"

I giggled and patted his back a little impatiently. "Aish, calm down, hyung."

After pulling away from Hoseok, I stole a curious glance over at Jimin.

He was staring back at me with tentative eyes. It was overwhelming at first how different he looked at that first glance...he had lost a lot of weight like he promised. His cheeks were slim, revealing strong and definite cheekbones. His jawline and chin were a lot more prominent than I remembered.

But he was still so beautiful. If anything, he looked older, manlier, and more mature this way.

I smiled hesitantly and waved, turning and ducking behind Seokjin in the process to alleviate his pressure to try to return the greeting.

Words could not describe how grateful I was to have Hoseok there. Jimin and I didn't talk to each other...in fact, I didn't talk at all, and Jimin just laughed along and often expressed his amusement with his body...and Seokjin was never the most wordy person in the world. Hoseok pra