[EUNHYUK]

When he woke up, the birds were singing and the sun welcomed him with a warm smile of her sunrays.

Eunhyuk loved the pleasant strength of the last warm days in autumn.

Everything outside turned into a colorful place, enjoyable for both the soul and the eyes.

Getting up with a smile himself, he put on some of his favorite clothes before going downstairs to greet the little brown puppy who was already waiting for him to say good morning.

“Hey there, Choco, how is my girl doing today?” he asked her, kneeling down on his knees to mess up the fluffy fur behind her ears.

The dog looked at him with adoring eyes and let out some happy barks.

He simply loved his little friend.

Eunhyuk's mom had given Choco to him as a present, because he used to be a little lonely at home when she had to work late every day. Sure, he had a nice life with all the money his mother earned, but it wasn't enough to fill the house with life.

And so, one Christmas, he sat alone in the living room: the house keeper had excused herself a long time ago to celebrate that lovely day with her family; he looked into the fire of the chimney and thought of what Christmas was meant to be.

Once he used to stay at Donghae's home but since the accident three years ago he was barely seen at the Lee's house, because the raven-haired only stayed in his room.

With that, he didn't have any other choice, but to be alone.

Eunhyuk wasn't mad at his mom for being gone most of the time. Since his father had left them, she was the only one to feed them and he was thankful to her for that.

Then suddenly he felt a soft wet tongue on his cheek and opened his eyes to see a little puppy on his chest and his mom standing in front of him to wish him a Merry Christmas. The blonde didn't know anymore but it was definitely one of the best moments in his life. He finally had the puppy he had desired so much and to spend that special day with his mom, who had worked hard to make it back to her son.

It was her way of saying thanks for being the responsible child he was.

He had always been a good child, who studied hard and helped the house keeper whenever he had the time to. It was his way to forget about the stress and frustration the days could give him from time to time. Even though it didn't seem like it, the blonde had problems as well.

Not the common ones like depression or a tensed relationship with his mother; no, he really loved her but that was exactly what caused him troubles...

Love.

Not the love for his mom, but the love for his best friend.

He had loved Donghae since the day they first met. At first, it had been the affection you felt for a friend, but as he grew older that affection turned into real love and it only got stronger with every day he spent with the other.

Usually love was a good thing, except for the times when it had the power to eat you up. And that was exactly what his love was like.

Forbidden, one-sided, and unhealthy.

Hyuk knew he never had a chance to win the younger's heart, because it already belonged to another person and it hurt him that no matter how strong his own feelings were, they never got to the boy.

And that was his second problem: not only was he living an unrequited love, it also belonged to a boy and not a girl. Once he was totally sure about his feelings, he had a hard time accepting it.

Not that he found it disgusting; it was the thought of giving up on some of his dreams.

The hopes of having a family on his own and becoming a loving father seemed to disappear in front of his eyes more and more when he saw Donghae.

When he couldn't take it any longer, he had told his mom, who looked at him with sad eyes but just took him into her arms and hugged him tight until he had cried his heart out.

From that day on, they were even closer and he had decided to become a man worthy of standing next to the raven-haired.

People used to see him as a perfect young man, who had a bright and shining personality, but inside he was just as messed up as anyone else. He just knew how to make the best of it and to accept his flaws as a part of himself, instead of fighting them.

But for now he sat at the kitchen table, drinking his strawberry milk and watching Choco playing out in the garden with a small stuffed teddy Donghae had given her for her third birthday a few weeks ago.

The little fluffy thing became her favorite toy since then and Eunhyuk didn't even wonder about it.

The puppy just loved the other as much as he did.

Only that Choco had the power to get Hae to be nice and lovely with her, something the blonde always got jealous of.

But he liked his little girl too much to be angry with her.

Choco was simply Choco.

No one could beat her chocolate brown, innocent eyes.

Before he had to go to school, he gave her a kiss on her forehead and one of her favorite snacks.

A dog's love firstly came with food after all, and he had to work hard to compete with Donghae to keep the puppies affection.

Walking along the crowded streets in the morning was actually really pleasant, because he saw how people started their days with the weirdest expressions sometimes and chuckled when he found some energetic kids, who were dragging along their parents to get to kindergarten.

They always reminded him of Donghae, or like he used to call him, Kiron.

The literally meaning of this name was “Ray of Light” and it fit the raven-haired.

Of course it had been the girl named Jessica who was the first one to use it, but Hyuk was the only one apart from her allowed to call Donghae this way.

So he didn't mind at all.

He knew he was special to his friend, even though the younger had a strange and really painful way of showing it.

But for now he was just enjoying the chilling breeze that was blowing through his hair and the sound of the leaves under his feet, rustling with every step he took.

After half an hour he arrived at school and a smile spread on his face. It wasn't because Hyuk liked school that much, it was because he knew that now he would see Kiron again and that lit up his day all over again.

The only thing that stood between his plans was the fact that he didn't know where the raven-haired was. But he was confident in finding him in the hallways.

And he didn't have to search for long. While people were greeting him and trying to get his attention, he just focused on getting the boy to notice him.

He called out for his friend a couple of times but the other didn't hear. It was then when Eunhyuk saw how beaten-up Hae looked and it broke his heart like always.

Still he wouldn't give up and so he just ran until the younger stopped and turned around.

Unfortunately the welcome wasn't as warm as he had wished for.

In fact, the raven-haired was in one of his worst states.

But for now, Eunhyuk didn't care. He was annoyed by the others behavior. Being in a bad mood was one thing; treating your friend with no respect another.

The only thing was that Donghae had the talent to mix it up and the only way to block the youngster's anger, was to get angry yourself, which wasn't easy to do for the blonde but effective.

And another annoying fact about the boy in front of him was that he always tried to run away with his rude words. So it wasn't much of a surprise that instead of a “good morning” he got a grumbled “leave me alone” as a greeting.

In situations like this, he wondered why he loved that guy and wasted a lot of energy to stay by his side. Still, he decided to stay calm at first but soon enough his patience was gone and the anger he had just put up as an act became real.

Luckily his friend never noticed the difference in his rage.

But it hurt.

It hurt him so much.

Eunhyuk didn't want to fight, he didn't want to hear all those words that stabbed into his heart like a million sharp blades.

When he couldn't take it anymore he just let out all of his frustration and sadness only to be stopped by a hard punch into his face and being pushed against the lockers.

After the first shock was over the blonde started to struggle and to break out of his friend's firm grip because it really hurt and air was getting rare in his lungs. With some of the last remaining amount of it, he said: “Let go of me, Kiron.”

The raven-haired expression hardened for a moment, before putting on a challenging grin.

“I won't even think about it. Why should I do something requested by you? But... will you leave after I do? Well if that's the case, then finally get lost!”

That was it. The final blow to make the usually calm boy to snap for the first time in years. As soon as the pressure around his neck was gone, Eunhyuk moved on his own, pinning Donghae down to the ground while tears escaped his eyes. Yes, he was crying in front of the whole school and the people who thought he was a composed and cool person.

He looked down to the boy underneath him and slowly realized what he was actually doing after he saw the pain in those blue eyes. Once more, he pushed Hae's head down to the ground before he got up and pushed his way through the crowd around them.

Love had made a fool out of him once again.

Hyukjae was sick of it. If he could've quit love as easy as you could quit your job, he would have done it a long time ago. But in the end he wouldn't be able to go on without it and he knew that.

He wasn't even hurt because of it or angry.

The reason for his rage was the knowledge of the fact that no matter what he did, his feelings never reached out to Kiron. He wasn't strong enough to fight the memory of a girl that was dead for nearly five years now. And today he had gotten the confirmation of his worries and doubts.

Hyuk alone just wasn't enough.

And he never would be.

Whoever thought the blonde was perfect had a wake-up call waiting around the next corner.

Right now all he felt was emptiness.

Recalling what had just happened, he couldn't help but to believe that the person in front of him had been Kiron. The boy's eyes had been clouded and it was as if he had been looking through Eunhyuk instead of really seeing him. Those beautiful blue eyes were the crack in Donghae's perfect mask.

No matter how hard the raven-haired tried to hide his emotions behind a poker face, his eyes were the key to the truth.

If you knew him long enough, which Hyuk did, you knew that the other's eyes changed their shades of blue.

When Hae was mad or angry, they were hard as steel; if he was sad or beaten-up, they sparkled in a beautiful, deep blue; and when he was happy, they... to be honest Eunhyuk had only known this expression from the days Jessica had still been alive.

Yeah , Kiron's eyes had the most beautiful blue of the sea that was shining like the sun. So warm and so friendly that everyone got affected by it. That's where the boy's nickname came from.

But now, five years later, the fire in his eyes was gone, replaced by dark clouds that filled his life.

The blonde wasn't the kind of person who got angry because his friend had changed - everyone changed at some point.

No, it was the fact that Donghae had been running since then without turning back to see if there was a helping hand to let him stop and rest; if Eunhyuk wanted to be that for him.

He had tried so hard to catch up with the raven-haired, to understand him, to feel him, but in the end all he achieved was to create a greater gap between them than before. And that was what made him angry.

His disability to help the only person he had ever belonged to.

Walking down the hallway, he suddenly heard Kiron's voice again and walked even faster. Eunhyuk didn't want to talk to the other.

Not now, not in his shaken up state.

“Eunhyuk, wait!” another call echoed in the hallway but he still had time. The blonde went out into the schoolyard and only stopped when he was standing under the big willow tree, turning around with a piercing glare.

“What do you want? Do you want to punch me again or tell me what a bother I am when I am concerned? Just go ahead! You don't seem to care about it at all.”

Wrong. All the words he had just said felt so wrong in his ears but he wasn't able to say them in any other way. They were the truth: he was hurt, but the way the pain and disappointment got underlined with the tone of his voice wasn't right. He should have been strong and enduring. Composed, at least.

Wincing silently when he saw the youngster lifting his arms, he took a step back, only to be pulled into a tight hug. The warmth of the strong arms around him was soothing but didn't last long, because Hae got down on his knees facing the ground.

“I am sorry, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to...” he whispered in a broken voice, burying his face in his hands.

He could see how the youngster stiffened and didn't dare to move a single muscle while he was waiting for his judgment.

But Hyuk wasn't going to do so. He was honestly shocked to see his friend so… he didn't even know how to describe it. What he saw wasn't the person he used to know. There were so many things running through his mind at that moment, so many questions he would have wished to ask the other but he didn't. The most important now was an explanation.

“Why?” was all he asked, but the boy at his feet stayed silent.

So he just continued, now that the blonde finally had the chance to say what he couldn't most of the time because a certain person prefered to run away. But for once the raven-haired didn't, he was too vulnerable to back off.

“Why do you think things will get better if you keep hurting other people and continue to push them away? Are you of the opinion that suffering alone is better than sharing your load? You are such a fool if you think no one cares about you!” he said, feeling new tears about to drop out of his eyes.

Donghae lifted his head with a shocked expression only to lower it, a gloomy fog in his eyes. “Stop telling lies. Nobody wants me and nobody needs me. Don't you hate me after what I just did to you? You should keep your distance from me, Hyukkie.”

Huh, that guy was really unbelievable sometimes and didn't have any feeling for the moment.

“You idiot! You know that I need you! I always will, because I love you! You are my soulmate, Kiron, and no matter what you do I will always be there. You won't get rid of me like some lost puppy! Whatever you need, I will be the one giving it to you. Do you really think I could ever be afraid of you or keep my distance? I don't care what others might say, because you are more important! I just want to help you. Is it really too much to ask?”

By now Eunhyuk was kneeling down himself lifting his friend's head with his right hand to make the boy look up at him. He knew that words weren't always enough but he hoped that if their gazes would meet, Donghae would finally see right through them and meet his heart.

Still, the raven-haired kept his eyes lowered and didn't even think about looking up.

“Donghae?”

He didn't answer and still stared at the ground.

“Hae?”

Still no answer...

Sighing to himself, Eunhyuk started to the black, soft hair between his fingers while he thought how he could give some of the self-confidence back to Hae. When he finally had it, he leaned forward and whispered:

“Kiron, please look at me.”

With that he could see how the other had lost his inner battle and lifted his gaze with a lot of hesitation; uneasiness and fright written all over his beautiful face.

“I love you, Kiron, no matter what others say I will always be here, remember that. I won't leave you so don't even try to keep your distance anymore, because it is hurting me more than anything else could. And I would never hate you for what you did. I know it wasn't you who punched me and I know that the old Donghae is still inside of you. So if you at least care a little bit for me, just stay by my side.”

Never had Eunhyuk spoken so much about his feelings than today and it felt good in a way. Finally he could express what he was feeling without being judged, without hiding himself.

And it seemed that even Donghae realized it at least a little, because he got pulled into another hug.

“Thank you, Hyuk. You were right, you always have been. It was about Jessica but I can't tell you. I miss her so much these days that it hurts. She was my soulmate and now that her fifth… you know... I just... I don't know what to do. It is getting worse every time. Someday I will tell you what happened, just give me some more time. I'm sorry. Please forgive this ignorant brat of a best friend... I need you.”

I need you...

How much Hyukjae wished Hae would say he loved him or at least liked him, because needing someone wasn't the same. We all needed something, but it never meant we loved it.

But for now it was the most he could get and he knew that.

Maybe someday Kiron would love him back, and until then he would stand right beside the raven-haired.

He was the blonde's soulmate. And even though the other had lost his, Hae would forever be his.

But for now he was fine with being best friends.

Hugging him back and showing his concern about him in this way, Hyuk answered, “I will forgive you, you idiot. Under one condition.”

Looking surprised, the youngster broke free to face him. “What is it?”

“Show me a part of my old Kiron again and smile. Just smile for me, if not for anyone else. Could you do this for me?”

Hearing the soft, deep chuckles that followed, Eunhyuk felt some shivers going down his spine.

He just loved that deep voice and the way those blue eyes were sparkling whenever he got teased by Hae. Unfortunately it had become rare to share these moments of joy - happiness was long gone and it hurt. But he never lost his hope that someday Donghae was going to be his old self again.

And at the moment their world seemed to be whole for a little while again. The raven-haired had lifted him up by his hips like he used to do in the past and spun around, smiling at the blonde. That beautiful smile the other only smiled for him right now.

“Kiron?”

“Yes, Hyukkie?”

“Put me down already, I must be heavy. I am not a girl and apart from that we have to go to class.”

“Haha, you are not heavy at all, Hyuk, you are still a lightweight and you know that.”

Blushing a little bit, the elder didn't know what to reply while his feet got put down on the ground again. He had always been thin and it was something that hurt his pride a little bit, because in his younger years he hadn't been muscular and manly at all.

“Huh, well let's get going. If we hurry we will make it to class in time, or do you seriously want to be late to Mr. Kim's class?”

Hae made a face and Eunhyuk knew what they were both thinking about their maths teacher. “You are right, I don't want to be late.”

Together they walked up to youngster's classroom and bid their good-bye's.

“I will see you in an hour then. Mind getting me some pain killers until then?”

Hyuk had to laugh. That was a small part of the old Kiron he had known for over 13 years now.

Without another word the blonde turned around and went away since he had a free period now.

Mr. Kim wasn't actually that much of a bad person; he was only a diva. 'The mighty Kim Heechul,' like he used to call himself, but after Eunhyuk had got to know him while they were working together, he could be a nice guy too. He just couldn't tell Donghae and they had to put up an act at school anyway.

While he sat down near one of the windows, Eunhyuk couldn't help but feel his guts turn a little bit. He didn't feel good to keep such a secret from his best friend but the truth was too much for the other to take.

And anyway he wasn't the only one with something he didn't tell.

It was definitely the raven-haired who hid more than he should, especially about that girl named Jessica. Hyuk never understood how his friend managed to keep the two most important persons in his life so separated that they never met each other, but he would make sure to find out.

For now he had to be the strong and comforting person at Donghae's side, since the girl's date of death was nearing again.

He had to lend the helping hand the other finally had accepted to take and give him as much support as possible.

And to make sure he wouldn't hurt Kiron with the secret he kept for a while now.

Hello everyone!!

I am finally back with a new update! How have you all been doing?

I got some good news lately and I am very happy about it. My dad decided to take care of my garndpa's house and garden which means I can spend the weekends with his dogs^^ I really can't wait to work there and go on walks with them to gather some new inspiration.

Apart from that the last two months of my high school life have started and well I am busy as always but I will make sure to at least update once a month before I have summer vacation and can write a lot! ^^

And talking about vacation I will go to the baltic sea in April and I can't wait for that! ^^

Hahah okay enough of my life now XD

Thank you all so much for reading again, supporting me, subscribing and your comments!

Have a good time and see you soon!

Yours, Slade

PS. actually I wanted to update on sunday but since it will be my dads b-day I worked a little longer and harder to get the chapter done today. So this update is thanks to him XD