t h i r t y t w o
Night Changes
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Night Changes. ----------------------------------------------- She woke up this morning feeling empty and the day is still as gloomy as she expected to see. Nothing more than that. Yesterday was a day that she never imagined it to be, ever. She's not fine and yet she's trying to figure out why it happened. Soojung was shocked when she came back to her best friend crying on the floor and kept blaming herself because she thought she didn't do enough for him She wanted to be there for him when he got no one in his life but it happened the other way round. Soojung wasn't mad and she was just like Jinri, confused. They were just fine for few days and why did he ask her for a break. Jinri's trying to calm herself down a little and was thankful that they didn't argue They didn't. Taemin was gentle yet he asked her for a little break between them two. Soojung told her that maybe he couldn't concentrate to his practise and decided to have a little break until he wins the game. It could be it because by the look he gave her yesterday before leaving her behind , he looks like he didn't want to let her go. But she knows nothing and so does Jinri. She saw him this morning when she got back from her morning run, they walked passed by but he never bother to look at her which really makes her heart shattered. Is it really her fault for not being a supportive girlfriend that he wanted to have? why is he still avoiding her even though she knows that they are nothing more than friends Was it awkward for him to even see her , was he feel disgusted to even look up to her. why? She will never get the answer. not for now maybe Soojung tried to ask Jongin about the whole situation and he told her that Taemin refused to say a word to him about Jinri and it left him confused. None of them know why he asked for a break. none except for himself. She have her thick sweater on but it's still not enough because it's windy and gloomy outside. But Jinri never bother to wear more thick clothes on top. She's been sitting at the bleachers since her first class has ended, not hoping to see him but she just find this spot calms her down when the other side feels very crowded and loud. She heave a soft sigh as she keep her gaze low before hugging herself. She look up to the gloomy skies and down to the buildings in front of her eyes. She'd been thinking a lot during her class even though she tried not to but she couldn't help herself. Why bother hoping for him when he doesn't look like he's hoping to see her. Even though she doesn't want to end this cruelly, she'd told herself that this is the only way. If he's ignoring for his own good, for getting more concentration during practise like how Soojung had told her, then she should let him do what he wanted to do. And maybe do the same thing to him But yet he's always welcomed to come back and talk to her. Because she doesn't want him to feel empty without her if he wanted to have her back, even as a friend. She still remember that he always told her every night before he wishes her good night, saying that she's the only one he has right now and no one can ever make him happy than Jinri herself. The wind blows and cold air hitting her face making her look down to her hands and hug herself once again. Her eyes landed on the field, knowing that any minute now the team will come out to play and she have to leave if she doesn't want to feel the pain that she's trying to forget. And there they are, coming out in their long sleeves jersey, running to the center of the field. Jinri saw him coming out last and her heart just skipped a beat. It feels odd for some reason and she honestly hated this feelings. He suddenly look up as if he already know that she's always be there to look down at him play, sitting at her favourite spot and as if he's been waiting for her to be there but yet he looked away almost instantly when their eyes landed on each other. Jinri just got up on her feet and take her books that she left on her right side and hug them before walking away. She's giving him what he wants , some space Never did she thought that her best friend could go through this alone but she did. Soojung is still surprised at how Jinri managed to calm herself down after a lot of crying last night. She's back from practise, to see Jinri in bed with her story book in her hand, looking somehow calm. She didn't want to ask much, she doesn't want to create any fuss even if Jinri look very calm right now. She knows that Jinri must still trying to get used to this 'taking a break' kind of thing. Jinri saw her coming into the room and instead of seeing her bloated face with red eyes, she saw her best friend looking as calm as ever. it only took her few seconds until she spill it out, accidentally. "are you okay now?" she asked and bit her lower lips when she told herself that she shouldn't asking her any questions. "yeah i'm fine" she replied before putting her book down to her left side and heave a soft sigh as she look up to Soojung. Jinri accepted the fact that he wanted a space, a time for now to be alone and maybe focusing on his game before he faces the other team for the last game and she told herself that Soojung was right about him wanting a time, a space just for a while. They've all seen Taemin for the past months being together. He's not the type of person who hurt someone very easily. He don't and maybe that's because he knows that he has no one in his life and he should be thankful for everyone who came into his life, especially Jinri. He doesn't mean to hurt her "are you going somewhere?" asked Soojung when she saw some of her stuffs are in a small backpack. "aunt Fany asked me to stay over during the weekend and so i agreed" she said but Soojung couldn't help but to think that maybe it's one of the way she could stay away from Taemin for a moment, but she never say a thing. "do you want to come along?" she asked but Soojung shake her head no to her before sitting on her bed and heave a soft sigh "i wanted to but i can't. i have practise on saturday morning which is . but i can come after that can i?" she asked and Jinri just chuckle softly, as if nothing had happened in her life recently. "of course you can" says
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