Why should it happen right before my first day of internship?

     I desperately try to evenly apply concealer on my dark circles early in the morning before going to the office, a make up step I wouldn’t have had to do if Oh Sehun didn’t get drunk and unconsciously kiss me. That led to an almost sleepless night, just before this important day.

     I irritably lock the door of my room and glance to the next door, still tightly shut. Hah. Sehun must be still sleeping, and he’ll surely have one hell of a hangover. I walk past his room, and go downstairs to find Mr. Jang sitting quietly in the living room, reading the newspaper. The messy table I saw yesterday night is now a clean one, complete with a small flower vase on the center.

     “The flower’s pretty.” I comment with a smile. Mr. Jang smiles back, and he looks like he’s reminded of something.

     “I heard a loud thump from upstairs yesterday, when you and Sehun went there. What happened? Did he go to his room safely?”

     My smile fades. “Oh—he fell. He couldn’t walk straight. But he got in just fine.”

     Mr. Jang nods. “Well then, good luck for your first day!”

     I force a relaxed smile, and say goodbye to him. I wish this day would go faster, with no regrets.

*

     Turns out the day went well, plain at best. I didn’t see my uncle the director (thankfully) and people received me well. Or didn’t talk at all to me. But I like it this way. The day at the office ended at 6, and my aunt invites me to have dinner.

     “I didn’t know you started today, Seah. Your mother didn’t inform me, neither did my wife. I just knew you arrived a few days ago.” Uncle Byun says over dinner. “And I didn’t have time to check the departments today.”

     “I should have gone to greet you, Uncle, but I was scared.” I laugh. “I will just quietly work hard.”

     “Why don’t you want to live here, dear? Baekhyun now lives with your parents in Seoul, we’ll basically swap children if you stay here.” my aunt says, looking disappointed.

     “I want to try living on my own… But I will visit you often.”

     “Great, come by the weekend, I’ll take you to go shopping and such! I’m so lonely lately, with one married son and one trainee son, both away from me.”

     I smile to my aunt, and look down to my plate. I should’ve just lived here, right. But I didn’t warn to put a burden on my uncle and aunt so I decided to rent a place.

     I’m walking down the road to the boarding house feeling calm, but as I arrive to the house, I heave a deep sigh. I hope everyone is in their room or hasn’t come home so I don’t have to talk to anyone, especially the one who occupies the room next to me.

     I carefully open the door, and there’s no one in the living room. I hear rustling sounds from Mr. Jang’s room, and there’s silence from Mrs. Kim’s room. I think the third room near the stairs is empty. I walk upstairs, and Sehun’s door is closed. I think his window is still dark when I saw it from outside, he probably hasn’t gone home…

     The door is suddenly harshly opened just as I walk past it, and my body trembles to the point that I need to stick to the wall for support. Sehun blankly looks at me, and I close my eyes.

     “Oh God, what the—“

     “Oh! Seah! Hi.” Sehun happily greets me. He steps forward to approach me, but I immediately go further away near my door. He looks oblivious. “Why is it? Oh, you just came home from work?”

     Memories from last night fill my head and I instantly feel dizzy. “Yeah.” I rush to my door, and try to find my keys inside my bag.

     “Mr. Jang said you took me to my room yesterday night. I couldn’t remember anything, I drank too much.”

     I look at him sternly. “Anything? You remember nothing? At all?”

     My tone makes Sehun silent for awhile. “Did I do something?”

     I find my keys, and angrily get inside. I slam the door close, and throw my bag to the bed. Does he really remember nothing? Is he lying? After what he did, he claimed to have no memory about it at all?

     I’m preparing to shower when there’s a knock on the door. “Who is it?”

     “It’s Sehun.”

     “What do you want?”

     “Oh, you sound mad—I’m going to ask for your number.”

     I impatiently untie back my hair, and stand in front of the still closed door. “Why would you need it?’

     “Go check your phone.”

     I frown, and take my phone from my bag. There are two messages, each from Jongin and Baekhyun.

Seah, go give your number to Sehun, in case something happens.

Seah, can you give your number to Sehun? He doesn’t have many classes to teach this week, so if something happens, you can always contact him.

     The latter is from Jongin, and I look at my phone screen dejectedly. I’m very thankful for their consideration but now I’m too mad to be fully grateful. I open the door, and Sehun is standing there, holding his phone. He hands it to me, and I weakly accept it.

     “Why don’t you just ask them to send it to you?” I ask him.

     “I need your consent.” Sehun gives me a thin smile. “By the way, did I do something bad last night?”

     I hand him back his phone, and exhale deeply. “Yes. Something you need my consent for.” I mutter, almost inaudible.

     “What?”

     “Never mind. Good night.” I quickly close the door, and head straight to the shower.

     I’m lying on my bed quietly later in the middle of the night, without any sign of sleepiness. Sehun has sent me a message, informing to save his number too, but I didn’t reply.

     I unconsciously my lips because of the dryness and I stop halfway. The memories come again. I get up to take something to drink, and I end up standing still beside the kitchen set, unsure of what I’m actually thinking about.

*

     I regret so much for not getting much sleep, but I guess I’ll just live like this for the next two months and endure it. It’s basically a repeat of exhausting routine in the office, and after the first day I mostly come home at around 9 or 10 PM, and when Friday comes I plan to treat myself something good but when everything is settled, I feel too drained to go anywhere else and I just decide to go home.

     Even from afar the house already seems quiet. Mr. Jang is visiting his hometown, and I haven’t seen Sehun for two days. Mrs. Kim seems to never leave her room. I wonder if her husband has gone home? That must be a hurtful problem from her but I admit I cringed when I see her crying while drinking that time, she sounded a bit hilarious because of how comical her sobs were. Oops, I shouldn’t think that way.

     Before I come inside, I hear faint sounds from the first floor. Are there guests? I whisper a slow ‘I’m home’ as I open the door, but nobody answers. As the inside surroundings come to my senses, it doesn’t take long to register that the sounds coming from Mrs. Kim’s room. Oh no—it sounds like two people are fighting. Mr. Jang ever said to me that Mrs. Kim and her husband, Mr. Shin, are often heard fighting but he said not to worry since the sounds wouldn’t reach the second floor… Well, at this rate, that will definitely be heard from my room.

     A curse word by a man is clearly said from inside the room, and I shudder. Before I could reach the stairs, Mrs. Kim’s door is banged open and a man who is presumably Mr. Shin is pulling Mrs. Kim by the hair as they go outside, and I freeze in shock.

     “All you do is staying at that room doing nothing, or probably drinking alcohol—when are you going to work, woman?” Mr. Shin releases his grip and Mrs. Kim falls to the floor. My hand is trembling, wanting to step forward, but I’m too tense right now.

     Mrs. Kim is crying, her face is full with the traces of her tears. She lets out incomprehensible sounds right now. Steps are heard from the stairs, and I see Sehun walking down, as he frowns to see the situation right now. He reaches my hand to pull me to go with him, but I stay still.

     “When are we going to stop living like this?” Mr. Shin grabs a book from the shelf near him and throws it towards his wife. “Are we going to die like THIS?”

     He takes more things to throw, and he starts to reach for more damaging things. More books, a small duster from the wall, a pile of newspapers… I pull my hand away from Sehun and run towards Mrs. Kim, just as Mr. Shin reaches for Mr. Jang’s flower vase from the table.

     “No!”

     I cover Mrs. Kim just in time. The vase hits my back, and I think it has broken before it reaches the floor. The sound of water and shards falling to the floor is heard for a few seconds, then from what I could hear, Sehun runs to Mr. Shin and the latter is still shouting obscenities as he’s being dragged away outside.

       Stinging pain emerges from the left side of my back and I feel like I couldn’t even move to set Mrs. Kim free. I’m hugging her from the front, and I slowly release my hands. My breathing gets heavy, and Mrs. Kim looks at me with bleary, red eyes.

     “Oh my God. Seah-ssi… Oh my God.” she looks at the mess on the floor, and she touches my shoulders. I flinch, as the pain almost reaches there. “Oh my God… Are you hurt? Are you hurt?”

     Sehun comes back, and he’s alone. “He’s gone… I’ve locked the gate.” he then glances at me worriedly. Mrs. Kim is still slowly sobbing. “Mrs. Kim, can you check on her?”

     Mrs. Kim wipes the tears on her face, and slowly leads me to walk away from the shards. “Yes. Yes. We should look at your back… Come inside, come to my room.”

     Mrs. Kim closes her door, and I silently observe around. It’s incredibly messy, and I can see it’s just created recently. I choose to stare at the floor, and I can hear Sehun outside, probably cleaning the mess. “I think I’m okay, my blazer is thick enough…”

     “Still, we have to make sure.” Mrs. Kim helps me to take off my clothes. I half-open my shirt to reveal my back, and she gasps a bit. “You have a bruise… Oh God, it looks painful… I’m so sorry.”

     I shake my head to assure her but now she’s busy rummaging through her belongings to find something. She finally finds a patch, and carefully applies it to my back.

     “Our only child died a few years ago…” Mrs. Kim tells me with a hoarse voice. “And everything just went downfall from there. I’m depressed, my husband cannot find a stable job, we lost our house… Now we go around renting places like this.”

     I swallow, still staring at the floor. My heart starts to ache.

     “I’m so sorry, Seah-ssi… I feel bad but I don’t know what to do.”

     I shake my head again. “Don’t say sorry, ma’am.”

     Mrs. Kim finishes with the patch, and I wear my clothes again. “That must hurt so much…”

     “You’re hurting more. You treated me, but I can’t do anything for you.”

     Mrs. Kim starts crying again, and now it’s a sorrowful, painful cry. Tears also form on my eyes, and I try hard not to shed it.

     “I’ll go upstairs… Please feel free to go to me if you need something.” I say. Mrs. Kim thanks me, and I go outside. Sehun just finished cleaning everything from before, and he’s now washing his hands in the kitchen.

     “Are you okay?”

     I quickly wipe my teary eyes, and nod. “Yes. I have a bruise, but it’s fine.” I look at the empty, vase-less table now. “It’s a flower that Mr. Jang grew himself, though.”

     “It should be changed anyway. Not that way, of course.” Sehun immediately adds. “It’s okay, we’ll find some other flower later.”

     I walk up the stairs, and Sehun is trailing behind me. I can see he can’t keep his eye off of me, so I’m not surprised when he stays in front of my open door after I get inside.

     “Can I come in?”

     I just nod, tired of thinking anything. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, and take off my blazer.

     “You’re really okay? Can I check it?”

     “Are you crazy?” I glare at him. Sehun laughs, and he leans on the door, not really coming inside. I sigh, and look at the front. “Does that happen often?”

     “Today is considerably the worst. I’ve only heard them fighting, twice.”

     I stare at the wooden floor. “I think I want to move out.”

     Sehun walks inside, stops in front of me, and sits on the floor. He tries to make me look at him, so I finally meet his sight. “But if you do, you won’t tell people that it’s because of me, right?”

     I scoff, and put my head down again to laugh. “Thanks for being there.”

     Sehun nods as he stands back up. He reaches my head to ruffle my hair, and walks to the door. “Go rest. I’ll check downstairs.”

     Somehow his words comfort me, and I make sure he sees me nodding. He closes the door, and the silence that bounding me inside this room feels empty and lonely.

     I lay down on my side, and my eyelids feel heavy but they won’t close. I recall again what just happened, and a tear falls down to my pillow.