"You," I paused to stare at the congregation of people expectantly looking at me. "are all probably wondering why I gathered you here today."

"No we aren't!" Tymee screamed. 

"Yeah, we all know why we're here!" Kyung and Hanbin hollered. 

I glared at them, moving on. They weren't going to ruin the mood. "I have gathered all of you suspects here to tell you the outcome of the case." I could sense another uproar. 

"Get on with it, I have to go back to work soon!" Ikje yelled. 

"Are you stalling? Just tell us!" Jay said, waving his arms about. Anger seemed like a foreign emotion to him, and he looked more like a frustrated chimpanzee than an angry man. 

"All of you, please kindly shut your traps." I said, waiting for everyone to settle down. "Great! Now, as we interviewed all of you, we found out very helpful bits of evidence. For example, both this house and Zion.t's house make their own, completely different, cleaners."

Zion.t gasped. "HOW DARE YOU SPILL OUR SECRETS! YOU SCOUNDREL!" 

Almost instantaneously his wife shushed him, she seemed completely used to this abnormal behavior. She only stopped her shushing for a split second to look at me as if to say, "sorry my husband's a bit off in the head". I could only smile at her cheerfully. 

"Anyways, because of differences in cleaners, and who used the cleaners in the house, we could find who could have left the cleaning polish in Mr Dok2's room. Also, we were able to find out who in the house would have the knowledge and intent to remove such a nice hairline." I calmly stated. The cooks and San glared at me, as if to say that I was a judgmental . Unfortunately my job means I have to be a judgmental to figure things out. 

"Now, this ruled out quite a few people, leaving only the cooks, San, and the maids. But none of them had any clear motives, and had to hope scientific tests would press on to show who could have done this." I continued, starting to get worried. 

"Scientific tests were conducted by Kim Daewoong over here, and he found that no, cleaner cannot remove a hairline, and that the polish on the floor didn't match with any cleaner." I finished. I didn't know what else to say, I had never been stumped with a case like this, I was unsure of what would happen. 

"So you're saying you don't know?" Vasco asked incredulously. 

"SOUNDS LIKE SOME RIGHT DAMN BULL!" The cooks screamed in unison, ing their utensils skywards. 

"There just weren't any leads! I don't know what to do! It's not like some supernatural force of the heavens came down here to do it!" I protested, worried that I would be impaled by a kitchen knife. 

Suddenly the room began to grow light, the brightness coming from above. Glitter and gleam circulated in soft breezes around the beam of light, though on closer inspection it was stripper dust. A thousand voices seemed to chant praises as the most beautiful Asian girl descended. Everyone stared on in awe of her weave as he slowly landed on the ground. 

She paused to glare at everyone, looking quite done. "You's all es, how could you not realize it was I that stole the hairline?! Little Holmes here couldn't even realize that the glaze on the floor was Moroccan angel hair oil. 's expensive as , man." She glared, snapping her gum. 

"But why?" Chanyeol asked. "Why?"

"Because," she leaned heavily to one side. "'coz this fool used my name in vain. , ain't nobody do that and live. Stole your edges 'coz you broke my commandments. 'Thy shall not twerk on men with bad tattoos' was clearly violated as well, this your own gotdamn fault!" She snapped her fingers and disappeared sassily.  The only proof that the magical being was ever there was a small puddle of Moroccan hair oil. 

I stood still, speechless. "Oh dear god" was all I could eventually croak out. 

"Honestly I don't know what to say." Chanyeol sighed. A murmur of agreement rose from the crowd. Case closed. 

A/N
Wow, it's been a fun ride writing this! I liked this AU a lot, and while it wasn't serious at all, it was interesting to write a mystery. Should I make a sequel? If so, do you have a suggestion to make about it? Who was your favorite character and which character do you think needed some work? Please tell me what you think so I can know what I should do better next time.