As soon as the alarm rang, I woke up in a slur. It was one of those mornings that would jerkingly appear after a dreamless sleep. Even though there were moments when I could be drowned in painful thoughts, at the moment I was letting things flow over me. Practicing to keep my mind blank seems to be working, I thought and mindlessly walked to the bathroom to wash my face and move back to my room to change. Then as soon as I faced my mirror, a rush overwhelmed me and suddenly, I found myself collapsed on the ground, in a pool of tears.

Verdelann can be nothing but a house, a hopeless voice echoed in my head. This is just the beginning, you'll find a home here, another voice responded. But the inevitability of the future and the empty well inside me exhausted my mind. I looked at the clock then looked towards the brown suitcase which was full of miscellaneous belongings. Books, CDs, accessories, small collectibles...

I still had an hour and a half left.

Boa had already left for work -- she taught English literature at the town's liberal arts institution -- so I was happy to be left alone with my things for a while. I instantly realized that even if Boa had been with me, she would have left me alone if I wanted that. Somehow, this little thought brought a small smile to my face.

I started off with a set of six jungle kids dolls. I arranged them on the bookshelf, making it look like the crying doll was left alone while two made cute faces and the other three made funny expressions at each other. Moving onto the books, I didn't have a huge collection. There was my birthday gift to myself, Rilke's translated works and then there was my beloved series of Murakami novels. There were two Marquez works, Love In The Time Of Cholera and a collection of short stories. As soon as I was done revelling at my new bookshelf, I stumbled on something I had completely forgotten about.

Back then I used to hide my embarrassingly complete collection of Percy Jackson books, it would go against my image of being a Kafka On The Shore lover. But my cousin brother's dyslexia had not only introduced me to this demi-god hero but hooked me to them. He was the only relative I had, my mother's younger sister's son. But Woohyun and I were separated by more than a distance of seven seas. His mother too had died, a decade ago and because his father was for some reason, never too fond of me, the inability to be close sort of ruined relations.

Nevertheless,the memory of our time spent together warmed my heart and I opened the final installment in the series. Woohyun's scrawny hand writing could be found inside his books in the form of his favourite quotes and Percy Jackson was no exception. 

"Time heals almost everything," I read out loud. "Give time time."

Woohyun's chubby face, the last I had seen of him five years ago, crossed my mind. I looked at the large number of CDs I had bought while I was with Hyun Joong. I threw away Ellegarden and Muse and realized that my taste in music had adapted to his style. Adrenaline rushed through me and I emptied out the entire carton in the large dustbin in the kitchen. I returned to my room and looked at the vast amount of space left. My resolve to visit town with Yoona strengthened.

That Zico store better have something that would help me find myself.