Summer break officially begins today. That means Nari has gone off to her grandma’s, and Youngjae has forsaken me in favor of music school.

I called Youngjae as soon as I got home Saturday night to check on their practice and ninja an apology since I got dragged off by Jackson and his friends. I asked if the other guys were upset, but Youngjae didn’t even mind at all. In fact, it was almost as if they forgot about me. I should be happy, and Youngjae never holds a grudge, but I’m actually really upset.

To be honest, there’s that bit of me that’s annoyed they’re not the slightest bit upset at all. I’m also really mad I didn’t get to be a part of it. Jaebeom uploaded the teasers that night and everything was so perfect I almost didn’t want to share the videos on my social networking sites just to spite them. Even worse, Lee Junho and Jang Wooyoung were there. They were the seniors the guys were talking about. I could have met OYE!’s drummer! But no, I had to be dragged away by Jackson Wang and his prissy crew.

“I hate you,” I say to Jinyoung as I walk up to the register. Khunfections is extra crowded today, but there’s a seat in front of the same corner girl I saw last time.

Jinyoung’s grin is even more annoying than the tone of his voice. “That’s because you didn’t come when I told you to drop by. How was lover boy?”

“He’s not lover boy and I wish I didn’t go with them and went with you guys instead.”

Jaebeom tuts at me while he tends to another customer’s order. “I misjudged you Candy. You’re not as good as a judge of character as I thought you were.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I . The teasers were so great I’m going to cry right now because I didn’t witness the magic before my very eyes.”

Jaebeom opens his mouth to answer that, but he gets distracted by the tinkle of the entrance. He nudges Jinyoung and gestures towards the boy that walks in. My jaw drops at the Nichkhun Horvejkul clone that swaggers into the shop.

“I thought Nichkhun had an older brother. Is that, like, a cousin or something?” I ask.

Jinyoung shakes his head. “That’s not anyone hyung knows. The last time that kid was here, he bothered June-noona nonstop. Khun-hyung was really annoyed.”

June is Nichkhun’s fiancee. I think. Nari said it vacillated between this and that because of some reason or the other. It’s so vague no one even keeps count anymore. But one thing is for sure: June is a constant in Nichkhun’s life, and that’s final.

Just like Jinyoung said, this kid with the blonde hair and pink fringe joins June on her special desk and stares adoringly at her. June looks up once and then returns to her work. Weird kid. Sound the alarm.

“Did he just appear out of nowhere?”

“Make him stop,” Jinyoung says to Jaebeom. “It’s creepy when he looks at her like that.”

To be fair, the kid does just look like he’s terribly starstruck by Nichkhun’s One and Only.  From this angle, it’s almost as if it’s Nichkhun sitting with her.

“Is that all he does all day? Have you talked to him?”

“Says his name is Bambam. What kind of name is Bambam?” Jaebeom answers. “He never leaves even when we tell him to. He’s just there. All the time.”

By now we’re staring unabashedly at this Bambam character. He’s moved on from staring to having a one-sided conversation with June. She looks up, maybe to tell him off, but she just sighs, sightly shakes her head at him, and returns to her work.

“You know,” I start, “when you look at him from this angle,” we all squint, “he kinda looks like June. Like, you know, he’s actually Nichkhun and June’s son from the future and for some reason he’s sent back here to, I don’t know, restore the balance in the universe.” Jaebeom and Jinyoung look at me like I should probably get my head checked. “Just a thought.”

I move out of the register area when people start queueing to order. With Khunfections busy, I wave goodbye to the guys and tell them I’ll see them a little later this afternoon. It’s only the first of summer and already it’s turning out to be the worst there ever was.

At least I still have Ryu Aerin’s charity sale to look forward to. Sort of. Hoya barely acknowledges me when I walk into True Beauty to report for the sale next week. He’s talking to this other guy, Seungri I think is his name. He hangs around Unplugged sometimes, but from what Nari gathered, he’s more of an ADR person. I heard Seungri also visits often.

“What’s that about?” I ask.

“The usual,” says Jeon Hwayoung. She’s another consultant here. Like Aerin, she’s required to embody what True Beauty stands for. Something I haven’t quite figured out yet. But she’s dressed better than I could ever hope to be, and poised, and witty, and hopefully hanging around these people will rub off on me.

“What’s the usual?”

I haven’t seen much of Seungri around here. The handful of times we have seen him, Hoya goes off into guard dog mode and makes sure Seungri doesn’t even get past the door. Mostly because of Aerin. Seungri comes over to see her even though Aerin is already dating someone else.

Hwayoung waves her hands around in a vague gesture. “He’s just being a big pain in the bumbum. Don’t mind him.”

I follow Hwayoung into the stockroom where she relays the instructions for the sale. It’s mostly inventory things and making sure we get all the logs filled in right. It’s not the same without Nari. This is more of her thing than mine and doing this now feels like going behind her back. Doing anything on our list feels pointless now.

After I’m done at the shop, I head off to the mall for no actual reason but to get rid of the excess energy I have from stressing over the Nari situation. I need food. Or something sweet to get my mind off all this. Milk tea is out of the question because it only reminds me how pathetic I am right now. Cake might be a good idea, but Khunfections will be full to the brim and let’s not even begin talking about Ever After. So walking it off in hopes of finding decent cake is my only choice.

I reach the big fountain, and it’s like the universe just imploded in my face.

Kim Namjoon stood by the fountain, hands wrung nervously together as he searched the main road directly ahead of him. At first, I don’t recognize him outside his school uniform, but even with the deceptively innocent outfit— jeans and a graphic shirt— there’s no mistaking his hair. He looks to the left, and he finds me.

Option A: Run away; maybe he didn’t notice. Option B: Pretend you didn’t see him and go straight into the mall. Option C: Walk to him and not be heartless because who knows how long he’s been waiting there.

Namjoon’s smile is hesitant when I reach him. He almost looks pathetic if he didn’t actually look kind of like a waiting puppy. “Hi.”

“You haven’t been here since the other day, have you?”

He breaks into a smile but he reels it back in. “No, of course not, I’m not an idiot. I go home at dinner time.” He grimaces, maybe realizing that’s not something he should have said. He clears his throat. “Took you long enough!”

Unfortunately, his rough act isn’t going to work on me at this moment. I’ve already seen too much. “You’ve been here since morning, haven’t you.”

He scoffs. “I just got here.”

Guilt. Definitely guilt swirling in my gut. “Uhm…I—“

“Jin said you wouldn’t come anyway.” He’s looking away, anywhere else but at me. “So don’t worry about it.”

“Then why are you here?”

“In case you change your mind.”

But I didn’t change my mind. I completely forgot about it. “So what did you want to do?”

Spending the afternoon with Namjoon isn’t nearly as traumatic or as bad as I imagined. It’s normal, almost. I don’t know if it’s because we’re outside school, or if it’s because the rest of the Boy Scouts aren’t here, or if it’s because waiting the entire weekend broke him. He bought me a fruit shake and a blueberry crepe, and even though he has trouble having a normal conversation, it doesn’t take away from the experience. He’s been shy, and awkward, but instead of the usual Youngjae or Jinyoung way, Namjoon’s shy and awkward is expressed in denial and roughness, but regardless the manifestation, he’s just as uncomfortable and as inexperienced as I am. I want to say it’s guilt, or even desperation, but I am genuinely having a decent time.

“You wanna go to Catharsis tonight?”

We’re back at the fountain, sitting on one of the benches. “I’m not old enough to get into Catharsis.” And neither is Namjoon, but I don’t think that’s really ever stopped him before.

He grins. “Who says you have to be?”

Not gonna lie, the idea of Catharsis scares me. The whole indie club thing isn’t exactly my thing. I love the music that comes out of the Catharsis lineup, but the whole clubbing thing throws me off. But because I didn’t want to seem scared or lame or uncool, and I didn’t have anything else to do, I said yes. And, I guess, admittedly, a morbid sense of curiosity lead me over to the dark side as well.

We walked back to Fourth Ave. “So where exactly is Catharsis?” I have a general idea of where it could be, talk at school says it’s this literal underground club somewhere off Fourth Ave, but the actual location remains undisclosed. “Is it, like, an invite only kind of place?”

“Don’t believe everything you hear in school.”

We reach the Fourth Ave Flower Shop and Namjoon walks in like that’s not weird at all. Inside, the shop is a maze of flowers in every shape, color, and form. The white ornate metal racks have been replaced by rustic, wooden stands and crates giving the whole shop an entirely new atmosphere. But even then, I can’t help but think the flower shop is really just a front for something else. There’s a dance studio upstairs, a gym, a kickboxing studio, and the mysterious fourth floor, but all of it is just a ruse to hide the more sinister thing that lay underneath.

Chansung waves at us from the counter. “Going up?”

“Going down,” Namjoon replies.

Chansung just nods at Namjoon, and I follow the latter into the mystery door under the stairs that led upstairs. I always just thought it’s a storage room for cleaning materials, and when Namjoon swings the door open, mops and brooms are the first to greet me. Then I get a closer look, and to the left, directly under the flight of stairs, is another set going down. And down we go, two, three flights of stairs, and into an empty underpass.

My footsteps echo across the walls while Namjoon’s footfalls remain silent. The thought that he might be here to kill crosses my mind, but it seems ridiculous now.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You look a little concerned.”

“No, I’m fine.” I truly am, actually. I’m just curious beyond belief. How do people get into Catharsis? How does it normally work? Does everyone walk through the flower shop or is that some secret artist’s entrance? And Chansung, Nari and I have known him from multiple visits to the shop, and all we know is he just opened the gym upstairs and is good friends with the rest of the guys in the Fourth Ave area. It almost seems like something greater is at work and it’s all hiding behind the mundane.

“You don’t look fine.”

“I’m okay.”

We turn left at the corner and at the end of the hall is a double door, the kind you would find as a fire exit. Namjoon pull its open, and there it is, Catharsis. It’s both everything and nothing like I imagined it to be. For one, it’s empty, but seeing as it’s barely six in the evening, I guess it would be.

Namjoon crosses the main floor and up a spiral staircase. On the balcony, leaning on the balustrade, is R.Ai. I recognize her because of her hair, it’s too blonde and too pink and I’ve never actually met anyone who could pull that hair off the way she does. Namjoon talks, and R.Ai stares off into some distance nodding occasionally.

“You came here with Namjoon?”

Startled, I yelp. Then I gain my bearings. It’s Lee Junho. OYE’s Lee Junho is talking to me. “Uh. Yeah.”

Junho smiles his eye smile and points to the stage. “He’s up with his crew tonight. Are you his girlfriend?”

I shake my head.

“Well, after tonight, you will be.” There’s an answer to that, but I’m too busy choking to compose a proper sentence. Junho laughs. “At least that’s what they say. It hasn’t worked for me. See you around.”

Nari is going to murder me when she finds out.

Namjoon comes back and juts his chin towards Junho’s general direction. “What was that about?”

“Just asking if you’re my entry ticket. What is this place? Some kind of secret society?”

He laughs and leads me towards the bar. “It’s a club. The main entrance is over there.” He points up, then to the right of where he spoke with R.Ai. She isn’t there now, but I see the main entrance. “It’s somewhere down Fourth Ave, a little off to the dead end when you go left from the flower shop.”

“So, it’s true. You do perform here. Like, for real.”

He nods and reaches for a glass on the other side of the counter. He fills it with water from the tap. “Yep. I heard you liked OYE! so I thought I’d take you.”

“From who?”

He shrugs. “Just around.”

“Okay.” Thoughtfulness. From Kim Namjoon. “I always thought I’d see them with Youngjae and Nari first.”

“Where are they? Tell them to come.”

“Nari is in another town staying with her grandma, and Youngjae is probably having too much fun at Woollim.” Neither of them has contacted me yet, and I’d rather wait than make the first move.

“That’s too bad.” Awkward silence follows. Namjoon offers me his water, and when I decline, drinks the whole thing in one shot. “Their loss, I guess.”

There’s always that point of view, and despite myself, I can’t help but agree. “We have this list, you know. Like, a list of things we have to do over the summer. I guess that’s not exactly happening.”

“What’s on the list— hold up.” He nods at someone from behind me. “Sound check. We’ll talk after, okay?”

Namjoon runs over to Min Yoongi who has just arrived. Namjoon exchanges high fives with Yoongi and this other girl from their grade, and the two guys head off to the stage and exit into the back room. The girl, Park Yurae, joins me on the bar.

“Well, what d’you know. You’re actually here.”

I know absolutely nothing about Park Yurae other than her name and that she hangs with Namjoon’s groups from time to time. Like anyone who is associated with the Boy Scouts, Yurae’s reputation is something along the lines of “don’t-mess-with”. Right now, she totally gives off that vibe. One by one, people come in, and one by one I notice how out of place I must look. The girls who came in looked like Yurae: copper hair, dark, smoky eyes, black top, distressed jeans, and black converses and derivatives. And then there’s me: pony tail, no makeup, worn out jeans, and a t-shirt advertising a band Nari liked. At least I got the shoes right. Kind of.

“What did he say to get you to go with him?”

I’m assuming the fountain thing isn’t exclusive information. If so, who else knows about it? Does the entire school? Half my class did hear Seokjin’s little speech. Does Mark know?

Before I answer, Yurae goes off and greets the rest of the Boy Scouts and some other people, and I’m all alone again. Which is still a better situation than sitting awkwardly with her. Until Seokjin joins me.

“You changed your mind,” he says, grinning. The Catharsis version of Kim Seokjin is no different from his usual self. He’s still levels above Namjoon and Yoongi when it comes to looking dignified, even when they’re technically wearing similar outfits.

“It was an accident. I forgot he’d be there.” I don’t add the part where I was desperate because I was all alone and I wanted company. And I wanted to see OYE!.

“I believe that,” he answers, “but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re here now. Should I call it destiny?”

“I think you should take several doses of reality pills.”

He laughs. It’s more princess than prince. “I think you’re the one in need of them.”

The overhead music dies out, and feedback wails from the stage. We both turn to see Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok up front. Seokjin leans in. It’s so close I can feel his heartbeat on my back.

“You know what they say about Catharsis?” he asks, lips dangerously close to my ear.

“What?” It’s barely a whisper, but I think he got the point anyway.

“Once you’re in, there’s no way out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

But he’s already walking away, leaving me behind with more questions than I care to hear the answers for. I’d follow him and demand an explanation, but Seokjin joins the rest of the Boy Scouts, including the first year Jeon Jungkook, at their table. I resort to sightseeing while the rap trio introduce themselves and begin their set. They rap about youth, the future, and about not really knowing where to go from here. It’s surprisingly deep and insightful, and I don’t know how to feel about them anymore.

By ten in the evening, despite the early hour, Namjoon walks me home.

“Did you have a good time?” he asks. We’re off Fourth Ave when he decides to open conversation. It was pleasant silence until then, another unexpected turn of events.

“I did. OYE! was so much greater live than I ever thought! And you actually opened for them! That’s…that’s kind of great, too.” I want to ask why they chose to call themselves Triptych, but I have this feeling the mystery is so much more ier than the explanation, so I don’t ask.

“We’re opening the whole summer,” he adds, proud of the accomplishment but at the same time embarrassed to be saying it. “You can come see them any time you want.”

We’re quiet again for a while until he says, “So what’s on your Summer List?”

“Just stuff Nari and Youngjae and I planned to do all summer. Next year, we’ll be busy with entrance exam reviews and college applications, and stuff. So we have this Ultimate List so, you know, we’ll always have summer.”

“You’ll always have summer?”

“So when things get bad, or if we end up going to different universities and never see each other again, we’ll always have this summer to remember. Something like that.”

“I like that.”

“It was Youngjae’s idea. Nari made the list.”

“What’s your contribution?”

“Nothing.” I try to laugh, but it sounds pathetic.

“That’s impossible,” he says. I open my mouth to counter his statement, but he explains away. “There’s three of you, so that’s three sides. You can’t make a triangle with just two sides. Even if you think your part is small, that’s still an isosceles.”

“Did you just say isosceles?”

“Triangles.” He makes the shape with his thumbs and forefingers. “Are pretty hardcore.”

Not all kinds, but I don’t want to get into that discussion. “The things you learn. Kim Namjoon is a triangle freak.”

We turn the last corner to my house and he walks me right up to the door. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“I should be thanking you.” This is the scenario I always imagined would be with Mark. “I had a great time.” Even if it’s not a date. Right?

Namjoon’s eyes jerk away and he scratches the back of his ear. “So. Uhm. Do you, like, maybe want to hang out?”

“Isn’t that what we just did?”

“Like tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Or the next day. Or whenever, really. It’s just you said, I should ask you properly.”

“This is properly?”

“It isn’t?”

The lights to the receiving area flick open and I have a feeling that’s my Dad coming to get me. Namjoon straightens up and pushes his hands into his pocket and pull them out again. Then he decides they’re better off inside again.

Before I hear footsteps, I out my hand. “Give me your phone.” Namjoon complies and I save my number. “There. Decide on a day and let me know.”

I shut the door behind me just in time.