crazy

chapter 04

/Taeyeon's POV/

This morning, I received news that my family arrived to visit me. I happily pranced along the hallway, excited to see them again. Mom and Dad both embraced me. Seulgi hugged me as well. Seulgi - this kid, she's always pretending that she's alright. I pity my little sister because she's being teased at the university for having an older sister at a mental institution. I miss her. When I was still okay, we'd chat at night in my bedroom. Actually, she has her own room but I think it's been a habit already. When we were kids, she'd come over to my room and play with dolls or share bedtime stories with me. When she grew up, we became a little bit distant. However, she still visited me at night and asked me how my day went. Despite being such a busy unnie to her, I tried my best to listen to her. I know I'm the only sister she's got in this world and even if she has friends, it makes no difference. Because a sister by blood is always the best.

"How are you, my daughter?", my Dad caressed my face.

"I'm fine. My roommate Jessica already left.", I informed them.

"Oh. So, now you don't have any companion. Taeyeon-ah, I miss you.", my mother squeezed my hand gently.

"The doctor said I'm going out pretty soon. But to make sure of everything, he's giving me a chance to send me out for one day.", I told them regarding my recent talk with Dr. Oh.

"That's a relief. But when is that?", my mom asked.

I looked at Seulgi. "On Seulgi's graduation."

Seulgi's graduating this month and I want to grab the opportunity to spend quality time with that family affair. Her lips pursed into a smile. "Thank you, Unnie."

"I don't want to miss it. Don't worry, Appa, Eomma and Seulgi-dongsaeng. I'll be home soon. Let's just patiently wait, okay?", I assured them.

I was telling the truth. Dr. Oh prescribed a lighter dosage this time. He told me that I'm already doing fine. My mind is already stable. It's just that I need to be sure of my thoughts. And so, my doctor advised that I should go out for a day with supervision of a nurse. I agreed and told him I was going out for Seulgi's graduation. He approved.

----

"So, those were your parents? They don't look that old.", Baekhyun said through the wall separating us.

"Yup. They look slightly young. But my Dad sometimes look old.", I told him.

He laughed. "You're so mean."

"By the way.... Dr. Oh told me I have the chance to take a day out. And I plan to spend it on Seulgi's graduation day."

"Good. Seulgi's the girl awhile ago right? You both have chinky eyes."

"Shut up. You're the meanie here."

Baekhyun and I started arguing this morning. I mean, not really arguing but arguing and joking at the same time. We already have common factors with each other. But he still doesn't know about me and my love life and Suho. I don't want him to know either. Recalling all the events might make me stay here even longer.

"And Dr. Oh also said I might be discharged soon.", I informed him.

There was this huge silence. I peeked through the hole and I could see him smirk. I know the feeling.... the feeling of being abandoned. I think that he's already happy that he has found someone to talk to. Just by looking at him through the hole, I could see that he's sad.

"Don't be sad, meanie.", I jokingly said.

"Me? Sad? Who said so?", he sniffed.

"Hey. Don't lie to me."

"Taeyeon-ssi, I feel so happy and safe around you. Please don't leave so soon. I know it's just been days and I don't know many things about you yet, but please stay.", he begged.

"Don't worry. Okay? It's not like I'm going to leave tomorrow. Dr. Oh is still not sure yet. Me going out serves as an evaluation for my mental state of mind.", I replied.

"What exactly made you end up like this, by the way? Sorry to ask, but I told you my side already. There's no going back, Kim Taeyeon.", he said as he pointed his finger through the hole.

I touched his finger and attempted to bite it. He yelled, "No!"

I laughed loudly. If the nurses hear this, they may think I'm still insane.

"Where do I start?", I ask, trailing my fingers on the white walls.

Flashback: The day before he died.

Today would be the last day of being single. Yoona purposely organized a girls' night out so that I could enjoy my rights to party for the last time. But before the night came, Suho and I had this videocall which lasted for awhile.

"Annyeong, Taengoo-boo~", he greeted me as his radiant face came through the screen. I waved at the screen.

"Suho darling~ Oh it's so awkward to start calling you 'darling' or 'honey'.", I laughed to myself.

He chuckled. I looked back and saw my mother smiling at me. Seulgi was chopping some onions and even if her eyes were about to tear up because of the onions, she smiled at me. They all know how I excited I am for tomorrow. I'm going to be married at last. It's every girl's dream, I think. When I was young, I dreamt of a really grand wedding and a very handsome husband. Maybe destiny agreed with me. God gave me Suho... yes, he's rich, smart and handsome. But above all, he's got a really kind touch no one else has. And I love him truthfully for that.

"You see, my friends..."

"Organized a last night of being a bachelor for you eh?", I cut him off.

He nodded his head. "You know everything too well."

I smiled. "Well, Yoona and the gang also planned stuff for me. Until now, I don't know what we're going to do tonight."

"I know it's some sort of tradition, but you're gonna be my wifey tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you I'll be out tonight.", he said.

"No problem, darling."

"I love you. Man, I really want to see you.", he said upon touching his screen.

"You can't until tomorrow okay? Just wait. And we'll have all the time together when we get married.", I told him.

"I love you.", he repeated.

"I love you too.", I responded.

"I don't know why but I just have this really heavy feeling.", he touched his chest.

"You're just nervous, silly. I'm nervous too."

He smiled again and finally he bid me farewell because he's going out to see his friends. Straight from lunch, he'll be hanging out with them.

----

Yoona and I were both waiting for the other girls to come at the hotel lobby. Seohyun, Hyoyeon and Yuri are on the way here. Yoona ordered a few snacks as we wait for them.

"Hey, Taeng. I promise you...there will be no strippers or whatsoever.", she said, waving her hand.

I laughed. "I know. Even you girls don't want to see boys doing that stuff."

"It's what they call tradition. And this time, I'm omitiing that part.", she said. Yoona has always been conservative since she was still a kid. She refused explicit stuff and she always acted so innocent before.

Seohyun, Hyoyeon and Yuri came and we had this mini-reunion as we had snacks first. Then, we went to the hotel's swimming area.

"Hey... you never said it would be a pool party.", I told Yoona.

The girls smiled.

"Like I said, there would be no strippers.", Yoona replied.

Food and drinks were all over. A few close friends of mine came and congratulated me. The celebration started when Yuri and Hyoyeon pushed me to the pool. I closed my eyes and float back to the surface. I yelled. "You guys have no mercy!"

"CONGRATULATIONS TAEYEON-AH!," the girls jumped in with me.

----

An hour and a half later, we started drinking and spilling secrets through the game Truth or Drink. But the game was interrupted by a phone call.

My phone was ringing nonstop. At first, I ignored it. But when I saw the screen with the letters "MOM", I freaked out and snapped myself out of my senses. They all looked at me.

/H-Hello?/

/Taeyeon-ah! Taeyeon, sweetheart.../

/It's me. What's wrong?/

/Taeyeon, you need to come over at the hospital right now./

/Why? What happened?/

/Suho was found unconscious. He's in a critical condition right now. Believe it or not, he's badly injured and stabbed!/

/Please text me the address. I'll be there!/

/He needs you, Taeyeon-ah./

I hung up the call and immediately grabbed my bag. I walked away in dismay and panic.

"Hey, Taengoo!", Yoona chased me.

Tears were already rolling down my eyes. I tried to wipe these tears off, but my eyes became a leaked faucet of tears. I walked faster.

"What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!", Yoona demanded.

I turned to her. She deserves to know. "If you wanna come with me, hurry up. Suho... he needs me badly right now. He's in a critical condition. He's.... unconscious. And stabbed. Injured... Whatever. I'm going to see him right now ASAP."

She was taken aback with my words. "Just a second. I'll be fast. I'll just inform them."

I knew Yoona could help. She's a young yet very wise lawyer. I don't know if Suho's parents have legal representatives or whatsoever, but I would definitely recommend Yoona.

Yoona and I drove straight to the address of the hospital. My heart was racing so fast that I kept on touching it.

I don't know how I should feel about this sudden event. I want Suho to live. He promised me... He promised me we would live happily together no matter how many times we'd fight. He promised me he'll build a home with me. He promised me he'll be my knight when I need protection.

All those promises...

Will they ever remain?

Yoona and I ran together to the Operating Room. We saw Suho's parents. My parents were present, too. I know how much they loved Suho like a son.  I embraced all of them. They were all crying. They were all hoping Suho would be fine. We comforted each other. Yoona asked the details about Suho being stabbed and et cetera. I didn't want to listen. I want him to live. I want our dreams to be fulfilled.

The doors slid open with the nurses and interns coming out. I couldn't read their expressions very well. All seemed a blur to me. I just wanted to see or hear that Suho is fine.

The doctor came out. "Guardian of the patient Kim Suho?"

"It's us. We're the parents. How is he?", Suho's father motioned to him.

The doctor heaved a sigh.

No.

No.

I know what this means.

Just like in the movies when the doctor announces someone dead or critical....

I closed my eyes.

I covered my ears. I hid under my Dad's arm.

"Patient Kim Suho passed away today, Thursday. April 06, 2013. 9:05 PM."

I heard screams.

Daddy forced me to let go of my ears. My tears were already rushing down. Yoona was crying, too.

"Suho's gone.", Dad whispered to me.

At that moment, I felt like my whole world was shattered into pieces. I felt like I was stepping on glass. I tried to cry silently. It's best to keep quiet when someone so close to you died. But I couldn't control it anymore. It was hard to breathe.

I stood up but I was down on my knees. I felt weak.

"SUHO!", I yelled. "Andwae! Andwae!"

Mom and Dad helped me up. Yoona helped out, too.

"This couldn't be. My baby....", Suho's mom cried out.

-----

end of flashback

Baekhyun was silent after I told him everything about Suho. I waited for him to say something. I looked at him through the hole and saw his eyes directly looking at me.

"I never knew you went through so much, Taeyeon-ssi.", he said.

I just smiled. Until now, I didn't know how to reply to people sympathizing me.

"You know what... you deserve something than a day off this mental institution.", Baekhyun leaned in closer.

"Like what?"

"A bucketlist."

"100 things I want to do before I die?"

He laughed under his breath. "No! How about... a bucketlist of the things you want to do before you finally get out of St. Dymphna's?"

I nodded my head. "Sounds magnificent."

Hello! :) it's me, ladychoding07. i apologize for the very very late update. :/ i was so busy with school. aside from that, i went on an emotional roller coaster ride when snsd became 8 and exo became 10. i hate SM XD that's it. i'll be updating Crazy from time to time and I'll make you guys crazy too.

BaekYeon is ♥

(have you guys seen their new moment together? gnaaaaaw :3 )