crazy

chapter 1

/Taeyeon's POV/

I stared at the white walls that enclose our room. Jessica has been preparing to leave St. Dymphna's already. I've been here for almost one year. And she, my roommate, has been here for over a year and a half. St. Dymphna Mental Institution - from the name itself you'll feel an eerie sensation. You might imagine flickering lights, mental patients wearing straightjackets, nurses and doctors trying to look as scary as their patients and the horrible smell of antiseptic. I'm used to all of this Mental stuff, but none of those you've imagined appeared at St. Dymphna's. St. Dymphna Mental Institution was named after St. Dymphna, a Catholic saint, was believed to have healed people who were mentally ill. She is the patron of the mentally ill, nervous, emotionally disturbed and those who suffer of neurological disorders.She was murdered by her own father.

Today, Jessica and I assume that there's a newbie trying to explain he's not crazy.

"Get me out of here please! I'm not crazy."

So am I. So is Jessica.

"He'll get over what he said when he'll get used to it.", Jessica said.

I smiled. "I'll really miss having a roommate as cool as you."

"Shut up. You have to get better. Let's get some coffee when we see each other soon.", she replied.

"Sure. But be sure to take your medicine, okay? Those panic attacks might come at you violently again."

"That can't do."

I'm just depressed. That's what I always tell myself. The doctors told me that, too. And I believe in them. Jessica's different because her Panic disorder became severe. She's very obedient to follow the therapy and drink all the medicine the doctors prescribed for her. How did I get here? That was three months ago... a few weeks after my fiance died.

I can still remember the happy memories. The memories come back, but I know Suho will never come back.

Kim Suho and I were supposed to get married. We were supposed to have a happily ever after together. One day, they just told me he's gone like a bubble popped by a kid. I didn't want to believe them. I thought it was some kind of test to see if I really love him. But he's dead. He was shot by a merciless gunman who followed him to his apartment. The gunman robbed his valuable belongings too, including our engagement ring.

For weeks, I isolated myself. I sent a resignation letter, stayed at home, ate nothing, and do nothing but cry or do something very odd. I felt like it wasn't me. I woke up one day seeing men wearing white. I didn't hesitate. I knew there was something wrong with me. I love Suho so much. And his sudden death tore me to pieces. We're just lucky that the gunman got caught and was put into prison. With Suho's sudden death, I questioned myself if I could still go on.

The door swung open. It was a female nurse wearing thick glasses. She bowed at us. "Kim Taeyeon-ssi, Jung Jessica-ssi. It's time for your walk to the garden."

Both of us got up from our beds and followed the nurse.

"I'll be around the big trees out there. I'll just read a book.", Jessica pointed out.

"Okay. I'll be at the benches. See you around.", I told my roommate.

We parted ways. Each of us were accompanied by nurses and interns, just in case one of us goes wild. Those who are extremely wild seldomly come here to the garden. The garden is filled with flowers, shrubs and trees of various kinds (of course). It is designed to make us feel more relaxed. It exposes us to the real world. We can see and hear cars and civilians around.

I sat at my favorite bench. I looked around. The nurse was a few inches away from me. I can have my "me-time" now.

"Byun Baekhyun, you are not crazy!"

Wait, what was that?

I turned to my right. A guy about my age sat down at a bench. He looks rather confused. He's new here, for sure. Was he the guy Jessica and I heard awhile ago? He's got an awful number of scars on his arms. His hair is quite messy. But he looks okay. He's just...confused. I wonder what's wrong with him.

"Hey. When you're in a mental hospital, it doesn't mean you're crazy. There's just something wrong and you're here to fix it. People always get the misconception that once someone's in a mental hospital, he/she is crazy. No, no, no.", I told him.

"You're right. I'm not crazy.", he convinced himself.

I ignored him for awhile. Until...

"What's your name? I'm Byun Baekhyun.", he introduced himself.

"I'm Kim Taeyeon.", I gladly introduced myself back.

"Why are you here? How long have you been here?", he asked.

"Severe depression. Three months, I guess.", I replied.

"I'm here for almost three hours already. And I hate it here. I wanna get out."

"You'll get used to it."

"Maybe. I don't even know why I'm here."

"You're here for a reason. Just stick with it, dude."

He smiled at me. Hmm, he looks quite adorable. The sunlight's rays reflected on his brown eyes. I think I'm going to have another friend when Jessica leaves. At least I know I'm not alone.