Intoxicated.

We both were intoxicated.

Behind this closed door we forgot things. With the help of alcohol. Or Anything really.

A pair of drunken arms wrapped around my waist. Her lips against my neck. Dragging at my neck length with open mouth. Hot lips grazed skin. Skins that were getting more exposed and exposed. She sighed. I sighed.

I leaned back to her and closed my eyes. Immersing myself with this whole situation. Just imagining that she was her for seconds. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I was powerless.

We both were. Just different at states.

I didn’t count the bottles. Neither did she, I supposed. We didn’t talk. But her eyes, my eyes, contained the same feelings that we both knew it was the same. She felt me. I felt her. We both need to release all tonight, I knew that perfectly.

She was drunk enough after a few glasses to ask me to come with her. And I was broken enough to follow her here. A slightly broken than ever was just perfectly what I need to disappear with her behind this paid locked door. Just for tonight.

My dress, blue night dress, was loose. She tugged it down. And I let it fall.  Every single piece of clothing, I let her peeled them all one by one.

I didn’t care who she was. And I bet she couldn’t care less about me. We were just strangers, coincidentally met. Coincidentally lonely and tipsy, craving for touch or just need someone that we know would be there for us tonight.

Alcohol was everything I could taste. We kissed to fulfill our need. Her need. And I definitely knew what it is. We took our time in knowing that no one will be looking for us at the moment. Our world was in this room, rotating between kisses and body heats.

I pushed her away a little. Temporarily, obviated her from clothes and the blurs of her life. I gave slow, small pecks to her flexing stomach as I slid down her pink cocktail dress . My fingers traces her sides, pulling down the stained cloth from her pelvic bones, then went up, reaches her back, freeing her from another piece of clothes that reminds her of her own self. Never stop dropping little pecks on exposed skin until I found her lips again.

I kept stepping forward to whatever direction leads to the bed. It was dark. We didn’t turn on the light. We don’t have to. Vision wasn’t necessary when you have body heats to lead everything. Anyhow, it helped us to be pretended as lovers for tonight. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. No identity was needed.

I wondered how people could do meaningless . But after I know what pain was, here I was fulfilling my need. With hope that the hole in me could be whole again, even just for a moment.

Then, we descended down to a bed and I immediately crawled up to her. I hovered above her, and lowered half of me to pressed down on her, I whispered on her lips, barely touched them, “ Say. Tell me I’m your one and only”

I got my lips done what she has done earlier, attacking her neck up to her ear. I let out a warm breath, grinded to her. And on her ear, I whispered again, “Say it”

And she did, though a little bit choked. I didn’t care if it was a lie. But for tonight, I’ll pretend that everything was real.

As long as she could give me what I want, then I’ll give her what she likes. Just for tonight.

---

Not a random pick at bar when you get the same person to get what you wanted.

I wasn’t sure how it happened. And I wasn’t sure how it will end.

I woke up in white duvet, with a person beside me. Her, again.

I brought a hand to my forehead while sitting myself up. My brain felt like melting inside. I looked around, empty bottles were scattered everywhere. Last night instantly jammed through my brain like needles. I let out a soft groaned in pain and anger. I definitely drank too much this time. She probably already know why I was here. Let me correct, why we were here.

I felt a hand on my thigh, “Hey”, a raspy voice greeted me. It had been very long when I w