“So... why Luhan isn’t coming tonight?”

His mother asked for the umpteenth time today, Baekhyun is not talking about his things lately, especially about Luhan and their break up, His mother don’t know about it yet. Baekhyun immediately stopped chewing when his mind drew his memory back to Luhan, about the things he saw this afternoon on the side of the cafeteria. Luhan looks happy, his smile is so wide and he even got a hand on the other boy shoulder. Oh Luhan, is he moved on already? Then how about me?

He shouldn’t eat and sit in the cafeteria for too long, too many people walking around there, anyone, including Luhan. See the consequences, he have to see Luhan and his crush or maybe his new boyfriend, although he didn’t want to. and also he had to leave Kai alone. He just felt extremely guilty for leaving him like that. He had just ran without caring that he was having lunch with Kai. God... He must have thought that Baekhyun is jerk? A friend don’t just leave his friends during lunch, don’t they??

“Honey! please pay attention to me!” Mama said as she tapped his spoon onto the plate, her brow knitted and she have her fork poiting at him.

“Uh... What?”

“Haiss.., you’re so annoying!” Her mother took a deep breath before starting to speak again, “are you two fight? I rarely see you guys go out together anymore. You and Luhan, and he isn’t coming tonight.”

I haven’t met him and I haven’t even sent him a message, how could he possibly know? on top of that, Luhan has a new boyfriend. How could I even face him now? “I told you, he had some stuff to do.”

“Even on weekend?”

“Yes, even on weekend.”

“Whitout you?”

“It’s nothing to do with me.”

“But-,”

“Mama, Stop whining! He had other stuff to do too , he'll be here if he wants to come here, Okay?”

Mama stopped trying and pressing, he knows Baekhyun is no longer her baby child who tells everything to her, well .., the old Baekhyun is like that before everything changes and things happened. The divorce between his parents happen. Then he stopped 'talking' to her, she means 'a real talk'. But she was Baekhyun mother. As a mother she have this called instinct for his child, every mother have it. She always had a way to know and trying to keep her son talk to her. she will not let Baekhyun through some bad things alone, she will always there. And he will always stand in the front row to makes Baekhyun happy.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?”

“I know, I know.” Baekhyun muttered softly. “Stop saying that, it’s weird.”

Why, oh why? Why is his locker always this full and messy? Can they just organize themselves so that it could be more neat, at least it will make him easier to put or pull something from it. He glanced at the locker next his, Kai might not give more space for him anymore, he's also got his stuff. aah Kai is right, apparently he also need to redecorate his locker. But he will not do that now, he's too tired. His body feels stiff and his brain has worked too hard today and he just basically tired. So .., he put the book on top of a pile of stuff then closed it in the speed of light before the pile falls out.

“I've ever told you to throw away those papers, right??”

A little surprised, Baekhyun hastily turned his head to see Luhan standing just a few inch away from him,leaning his shoulder on the lockers to support his body. There is a slight sense of disappointment that Baekhyun don't quite understand  appear on his chest.

“Hi.., you don’t seem happy to see me?” Luhan said when Baekhyun just standing still with eyes occasionally glancing between him and the locker where he lean.

“No no, I was just suprised, you don’t usually come here - You didn’t send me a text too”

“This is indeed unusual. So Baek, there is someone come here often? Hmm.., is that your new crush?” Luhan nugded baekhyuns arm teasingly. A smirk plastered on his face.

“I have no crush, Luhan.”

Luhan raised his eyebrows, pretending to give a suspicious gaze, the smirk still stuck on his face, and Baekhyun can’t help but to think, about the possibility that Luhan is already moved on and found someone better than him, someone who could replace him. And leave him behind.

“Well, i’m kind of saw you left with a hot guy the other day, and I also saw you walking through this corridors with this same guy a couple of times,”

“What guy?”

“That guy! The tall and handsome with tanned skin guy. The guy who could make your eyes sparkle and make you have this happy-aura around you, anyway.., he looks nice and you two look cute together -“

“My eyes is fine and he’s just a friend, Okay?” Baekhyun said sounding a little disappointed, he didnt mean to sound like whining, But Luhan doesn’t seem to realize what conversation they are having right now? is he really know what is he talking about? “So whats bring you here?”

Luhan sighed, He doesn’t know how to bring back the old Baekhyun, he said that they are okay. So everything should be fine, shouldn’t it? Baekhyun should not be so distance,

“You’re mom called me last night,” he stopped for a breif seconds, “she asked about us. You haven’t tell her that we had broken up? Because she asked me that ‘are we fine’.”

Baekhyun looked at Luhan in shock. he should have known that from the start. Of course, his mother would ask Luhan when he refused to talk, She always had a way to know everything about him. Baekhyun just nodded, it's useless trying to lie anyway.

“And why is that?”

“You shouldn’t answer your phone in the first place,”

“But she deserve to know, Baek. he asked me if we are ‘fine’, and do you know how I feel when I had to lie to her because I couldn’t stand to hear her very hopeful voice?”

“Because, I don’t feel like tell her. Okay?”Baekhyun said in a matter of fact.

“She is worried about you, so am I. Are you avoiding me? Because you seems so distance. Did you can’t accept our breakup yet? that is always something about you, Baek. You never want to deal with changes!”

“Are we... are we really have this conversation right now?”

“Yes we are, because you don’t understand, i did this for you -“

“Luhan, we are in the public and people gives us a weird look,” Baekhyun warned, as they earned a bit attention from the other people. 

Luhan sighed and simply nooded, but Baekhyun knoe that the older still want to say another things to him.

“I just want you to be Happy, Baekhyun. you deserve to be happy.” 

Stupid Luhan. If Luhan want him to be happy, he shouldn’t have left him in the restaurant that night, he should have just stood up and walked across the table to hug him and then playfully say ‘late april mop.’

Stupid relationship. Where is his Luhan go? His one of a kind, understanding and loving boyfriend? They should be a forever and happy ever after. Now he only has his loneliness for himself.

Baekhyun don’t want to be happy, he want everything to be fine. His mom, his dad, Luhan, Everything.

“I’m tired,” an unconscious words slips form his mouth.

Baekhyun found himself sitting at some plastic chair outside a convenience store, a bottle of alcohol hanging low in his hand. He forced the alcohol down his throat as tears started to form in his eyes.

“Saying ‘I'm tired’ when you're actually just depressed,”

Suprise, Baekhyun abruptly turning his head and find Kai flashing him a bright smile. It somehow become their routines, met every day for lunch or chatting at collage or just run to each other in some rondom places, they called it 'A Coincidence' ' because they are not really intend to make a pact to meet each other, but they just did.

“Kai! Can you not? That shocked me.”

Kai looked at Baekhyun suspiciusly before shrugging, “I never mean to startle you or shock you, you were the one who always zoning out, so it's not fully my fault,”

“Tell me about it,” Baekhyun said rolling his eyes.

“Wow, that was different. Are you drunk already?” Kai said looking at Baekhyun who didn’t give him any respon, he didn’t even bother using the shot glass anymore, he just took the bottle and drank from it. Kai took the bottle and found out that it was already empty. “Yap, you’re drunk.”

Baekhyun lifted his head and saw a concerned face in front of him, he just stared at Kai’s face before he dropped his head again. Kai reaced out and place a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder. “Come on, let me give you a ride to go back to your house.”

Baekhyun shrugged Kai’s hand away from his shoulder. “No thanks, I want to stay here for a while...”

Kai sighed and sat next to him, he didn’t bother to argue as he knew the guy beside him maybe had too much of a bad day or something, Kai took out his scarf and wrapped it around Baekhyuns neck, “Well, let me acompany you then.”

They just sit next to each other, by the time kai has been holding his own drink now, Baekhyun itself is in the process of emptying his third bottles.

“What could be worst than separation? Oh yeah..., lonliness.” Baekhyun blurted out, closed his eyes and lowered his head. He remained silent and it started to make Kai worried. Baekhyun sighed the tiredness and stress out that he had right now.

Kai opened his mouth to ask what Baekhyun had in mind, but he quickly closed his mouth again. Baekhyun is drunk and he looked really depress. Kai didn’t want to become an insensitive friend for asking such a stupid or wrong question to Baekhyun.

Minutes passed by when Baekhyun decide to break the silent, “You see..., my parents decided to divorce when I was eleven, leaving them to go their separate ways. My father cheated on my mother with some hot lady, I was the one who found that out. I went to stop by his office that day, and when I got there in his room, i saw he was making out with this lady. They didn’t even notice my presence, guess too busy to each other faces.” Baekhyun gulped and locked both of his hand to avoid them form shaking. Thinking that he don’t know how to react, Kai just pulled Baekhyun gently into his embrace. him back and fort.

Baekhyun laughed before he started speak again, “then my parents started fight with each other. my mom got forious and told him that she was taking me and we were leaving. I was really greatfull that my father wasn’t abusive towards her. However their divorce still happen which , and I need a very long time to accept that fact. I was so depressed because I’m not good with changes.”

Kai blinked, didn’t understand why Baekhyun suddenly told him his bad memories. Guess baekhyun didn’t do well with alcohol.

“I don’t know where we went wrong, i kept trying to remember where we went wrong. I didn’t cheat with hot lady or guy because really theres no one else. But he leaves me. He said he did it for me, because he wanted me to be happy. Pfffh... ing bull! He just left me that night.” A tears finally running down his cheeks, “Kai, how much pain do you have to go through until giving up is okay?”

Kai immediately pulled Baekhyun into his hug, protectively holding Baekhyun in his arms. He didn’t let go even when he could feel Baekhyun’s tensed body relaxed and his heavy breath already turned to normal.