I’ve never felt like this. Like I literally have no energy and mood to do anything and all I want to do is hide from the world and just do nothing. So…. Is this what it feels like to be heartbroken? I don’t know, I really don’t. But whatever the feeling is, it . Big time. I’ve been staring emptily for at least an hour now and all I can think of is… Ryeowook. All I can think of is Ryeowook and his lips, Ryeowook and his tears and Ryeowook telling me that he already belongs to Hyungsik. I feel a dull ache in my heart again and I rub my chest wishing that I can physically make the pain go away.

I’ve never felt this way towards Ryeowook. I mean... I’ve always liked Ryeowook as my friend and yes, I’m a little overprotective of him but isn’t everyone else too? Ryeowook is so tiny and small and just so fragile, how you not want to protect that little furball? It’s the same case as Henry too. But… When I think about it now… The thought of kissing Henry irks me to no end. But I actually enjoyed kissing Ryeowook and goddamit, I want those lips all for myself forever. So what does this mean? Do I like Ryeowook more than just a friend?  

“Are you going to mope around all week or tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”

I seat up to see my annoying hyung looking at me with his hands folded over his chest. I ignore him and lie back down and Sungmin sighs out loud, walking over towards me and poking my ribs. I know this hyung wouldn’t leave me alone unless I tell him what’s going on. Annoyed, I got up and seat across him.

“Ever since we came back from China, you’re always in a bad mood.” Sungmin points out. “Did something happened?”

“No, no, wait let me rephrase that.” Sungmin shakes his head. “What are you and Ryeowook fighting about this time?”

“It doesn’t have to be about Ryeowook.” I pout, picking onto the bed sheet. “Why do you assume that I’m fighting with that short giraffe anyway?”

“Oh please, Henry told me how you locked him out of his room that night when we were in China and how you came out all weird and frustrated.”

“What did you guys fight about?”

“Ugh.”

I rub my eyes and groan. You know what? I really need someone to talk to right now and who better than to share my problems with than my old roommate who just happens to be Ryeowook’s soul sister too? I quickly over to the door and look around the hallway to make sure that there’s no one before closing the door behind us. I walk back and seat down on the opposite of my hyung who looks even more worried.

“I kissed Ryeowook.”

“Holy !” Sungmin reaches out to give me a good smack in the head. “You did what?!”

“I kissed Ryeowook. Twice.”

Sungmin smacks me in the head with the back of his hands twice and I wince. Well… At least it’s Sungmin. If it were to be Heechul or Leeteuk or even worse, Kangin, I think I’d already bleed to death.

“I didn’t know you were gay!” Sungmin says and I cup my hands over his mouth shushing him.

“I’m not!” I say.

Sungmin narrows his eyes at me and pushes away my hands on his lips. “No straight men would go around kissing other guys!”

“Excuse me! What about you and Heechul hyung!?”

“That was totally for show and Heehcul hyung doesn’t count! Everyone wants to kiss him.”

“Not me!” I say, raising my hands innocently.

“Well yes, apparently all you want to