鹿；

I walked down the streets after leaving the bar. After I had learned about her new book, I had downed more than the usual number of shots. Minseok hyung had confiscated my car keys, and I had let him take it. It was 4am in the morning, and I could live with walking home a few streets without being caught. Besides, I really needed some time off on my own to think about everything.

But my thinking went only as far as battling between confirming Minseok’s words with Hui En’s manager or whether I should pretend to be oblivious to this, and I have reached to the lobby of the house. I sighed as I took a step into the lift and went up towards the expensive loft that our companies have given to us as a couple gift.

I quietly unlocked the door and closed it behind me, and then at the corner of my eye I saw her behind the desk in her space of nothing. Her head was resting slightly on her arms, her chest was rising up and down slightly. She was sleeping, and yet her laptop was on. I peered into the laptop only to see a writing program still on, except this wasn’t the usual Microsoft words or any sort, it was an online platform where she had stored her memories. I moved the cursor around and found one of her open tabs. It was her personal blog, one that she had remained anonymous, but even in her anonymous figure, she had 300 over followers following.

And for once, I felt a tremendous pride for this girl that I had lived with, she really did have the flair for writing didn’t she? I stored to my memory, the URL that was in the URL bar, before placing her laptop to where it was before and walking to my room.

Most of the posts were short and ambiguous, yet the direction was clear to me.

‘They say fear comes once in a while, but yet I felt fear every single day of my life. What happens if I mess up? What happens if I accidentally speak a word into the corner of the room that should be have ceased to exist?’

But it was how she chose to sign off that lead me to wonder what it could possibly mean. There were days that she chose to sign off as “/T”, yet some days she chose to sign off as “//w”. I couldn’t figure out, and I hated every feeling of not knowing. And that’s when I have decided to step into her space of nothingness, not physically, but mentally - I stopped ignoring that space or her existence.

MAY 2015

鹿；

She loves neutral shades. Her daily wear consists of grey, of beige, of cream. She is always in long sleeves, and in long sweatpants. And despite it being baggy and draggy, she carries them off well.

Her hair is brown and it is always loosely knotted into a bun with a black hair tie. Her bangs are always swept to the right side or simply clipped into her bun. She would wear specs on Mondays, and would exit her room with contacts every other day.

She stays at home on Mondays, typing furiously away on her laptop; she would chew on her pencil once or twice. She never fails to make herself a