I slowly walk towards the closed balcony covered by the thick curtains. I found my heart beating when the space between the large glass doors and I became smaller and smaller. I lightly raised my hand finding my mind and heart battling to control my body. What would happen when I open the these curtains? What would be the harm? I pushed the curtains out of th way. Strangely disappointment hit me when I found the balcony empty. I took a deep sigh. Why should I be surprised? After what we had been through I shouldn't have expected anything from him. This isn't a fairytale. I'm not runpunzel and he is not the prince, ready to climb the tower to save me from Gothel. I'm not Juliet and he is not Romeo forbiddenly come to woo me. I am not sleeping beauty and he is not prince Philip come to slay the maleficient. This is reality. 

When I turned I notice a small light at the edge of the balcony. I quickened my pace. My inner self was giving me a glare as if telling me she knew I still cared about him despite telling myself I didn't. And I would prey on any little glimmer or in this case light as my own hope.  When I unlocked the door the sound of grunting hit my ears along with the wind. My feet gently pressed on the cold tiles of my balcony towards the sound feeding my morbid curiousity. It could been a thief for all I knew it and I was walking into their trap. If it was Luhan... it would still be the same thing. I looked over the edge to find the most funniest thing that made me laugh. Something I haven't done in a long time. I covered my mouth to avoid anyone from hearing. Luhan heard and looked up. He was obviously struggling showing his pleading eyes asking me telepathetically to help him. His hands were wrapped around the vines that grew along the wall of my balcony while his feet were swinging in different directions. Without a word I held his hands as we both used out strength to pull him up over the banister. Once he had a firm grip on the handle I let go.

"Ouch" I giggled as Luhan clumsy had lost his balance when I let go and fell on the floor of the banister. 

"Gosh, where would you be without me?" I asked with, a smile evident on my face as I watched the great Luhan, heir of the Xi company climb to my balcony on the third floor at night, almost falling and landing with a thud on my balcony floor. Did I mention he was wearing a suit (his school uniform) all this time. 

"Lost" He mumbled trying to forget about the pain. When I saw his brown orbes staring straight towards me, the most intriguing thing in my entire life, would make me stop an army. His lips were plump while I bit on mine. 

"Seo, don't tease me" Luhan whispered as he held my cheeks directing me towards his lips. Our lips touch and I felt my entire body melt within him. It felt right but wrong at the same time. He moved his head side ways to further deep our kiss by bringing our lips together. He was sat on the ground while I was kneeled beside him leaning towards his warm lips. Despite the cold wind finding it's way through my robe onto my bare skin, the warmth from Luhan's skin radiated from his struggle up my balcony. The previous events didn't seem to come in mind. He was here, at my balcony with his lips on me. 

"Miss Seo?" A sudden intrusion caused our heads to spin towards the balcony door where I assumed Ajumma, our house keeper was calling me. I immediately rose and ran towards my room before she could see Luhan. Gosh knows how much trouble he will be in for trespassing on Seo property. Before my body was completely inside my room, I turned. Half my face exposed to the poor lost boy, sitting on the tiles with his knees to his chest. He gave me a small smile, hinting to me he will be alright in the cold which ofcourse I wouldn't approve off. I cannot leave him out in the cold. I had to get rid of Ajumma. I faced the elderly lady dressed in a long sleeve black dress which came down on her shins with a white apron. Her face was distorted as she stared at me while I was wide eyed.

"My goodness child, what are you doing outside in the cold?" Ajumma softly chided me as she turned off all electrical appliances and placed all items on my bed away, ready for me to sleep. 

"Ajumma, shouldn't you have knocked?" I whined while she chuckled at my child-like behaviour. She had been my maid/nanny since I was born. She is like an elder to me since I have never met my grandparents and she helped raise me. Even as a teenage she will never miss a night to tuck me in bed. 

"I did, there was no answer." My mouth formed an O shape. I fully knew it was because of Luhan and the daze I enter whenever we kiss. Ajumma looked at me still waiting for an aswer. 

"I needed some fresh air after today" I quickly spoke out trying to control my facial features knowing full well she could tell when I was lying. A small period of silence came between us as she continued to make my bed ready for my to sleep. She rolled down the unnessesary but decorative sheets to expose a thin sheet which is my blanket. She rolled it down waiting for me to get into bed. To speed up the process I jumped into bed startling her, I kissed her cheek and bid her goodnight. She looked very confused by gave a small smile while she kissed my forehead. 

"I know you have had a rough day but stay strong Seohyun, it will get better" Her little sentence of encouragement would seem weak before but know it was the string I held onto to lift my spirits. She walked out of my bedroom and closed the door leaving me in darkness. I jumped out of bed to lock the door while I went back to the balcony to find Luhan in front of the doors. Without any hesitation I opened to the glassed doors and pulled him in. I could see the smile on his face as he watched me frantically closed my doors. I turned to him finding him looking around my room. I followed finding that my room had changed since the last time he was here. Before it was all shades of pink with beach furniture, idol posters and teddy bear. Now it is fully white walls, white furniture with with silver and light blue decorations showing a more maturer side. 

"Pretty? huh?" I awkardly asked. He nodded but kept his eyes on my room as if he is unable to take the change. 

"So different" He commented which I had to admit was true. 

"When did you change your room?" He questioned still not facing me. Why isn't he facing me? Why does my bedroom facinate him so much? Oh gosh Luhan, one of the things that irritated me most about our previous relationship was that he wouldn't tell my the whole of anything and it made me feel like I was left in the dark, by him. The man standing in front of me. 

"A couple of months ago" My voice changed to one of hesitation to one of annoyance. I think Luhan heard it because as he stood with his back to me, he moed his head to I could see his profile as he looked back to me. "What are you doing here, Luhan?" I asked in exhaustion. It had been a long day and I could not possibly tolerate anymore. He made himself at home by placing himself on my bed. He pulled his shoes off, while taking off his blazer and decarding it on the floor as he sat cross legged on my bed. I moved towards him and sat myself on a chair opposite where he sat. 

"I really messed up this time Seo" He whispered almost as a sob. I knew what he had ment. Jessica and the baby. I couldn't reply, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how I could possibly make this situation better. "One mistake, one moment of daze and I messed up my entire life." He continued obviously holding a grudge against himself. 

"Luhan, whatever the outcome, things will work out for the best" I said. Depsite I hardly believed in it I felt some sort of truth and hope that I wanted him to know. 

"You mean best for you. Now you won't have to marry me" I couldn't disagree.. entirely. If the knews of the pregnancy came earlier I would have been elated but I could not lie to myself that I have thought about a future with Luhan. 

"This is not about me or us. This is about Jessica and you... and your baby" This sounded so foreign and even though I tried to mask my bitterness I couldn't. The thought of him being a father to someone else's children is something I am not ready to bear. I had thought to have left school and cut off all connections with the Xi family so I wouldn't witness him moving on with his life without me in it. 

"One mistake and I loose you forever" Luhan continued dodging the real situation. I felt my self felt some sort of rage. He has never changed and to my dismay he hasn't matured. 

"Luhan, do you hear youself right now? You and Jessica are still in school and you got her pregnant and now she is carrying your child yet your focus is somewhere else. Luhan for once in your life think about others. Yes, your happiness and idea of a happy future may disperse but that was your fault and now you must face the consequences with a head held up high. For the love of god, you better stand up and be a father to that baby. That baby is innocent and not a mistake! Love that baby because it is a part of you." Despite Luhan not answering or even reacting I could tell that he heard me. 

"I know, I know. But I hate myself. I need your help Seo" Luhan shortly replied. I know he is unable to intake all my words but I could tell he was trying. 

"No, the person who needs help is Jesssica" I replied with a cold voice which hit him at he moved his head to face my icy glare. 

"Whose being selfish now?" Luhan spat back. I couldn't believe what I heard. I gritted my teeth together while I held my hands at the back of my head to prevent me from shouting and my parents hearing us. 

"Me selfish? I was ready to put any thought of my own ideal future aside to marry YOU, I lied to Taeyeon and the girls for YOU. I can't be here Luhan the rest of my life to be your shoulder to cry on whenever life gets rough. You need to man up because I have my own life which thanks to your 'mistake' I have full control of" I smiled knowing I am victorious while my arms are crossed in a strong stance yet I know that I would be crying inside. 

"Please, Seo. I'm so sorry" He went make to whispering as if he has no strength left in him. I stepped closer to him as he sat frozen probaly deep in thought. I walked passed him and got onto the bed behind him. His back one again to me as his breating was steady. I placed my arms around him feeling his warmth and the cologne I love. His hands warmth went to mine as he held my hand gentle. 

"I know I messed up and I want to take responsibility for the baby. God knows how much I would step up if you were the one who was carrying my baby. If you were carrying our child I would be elated. I would shout it out to the world while I buy baby clothes and diapers happily. I wouldn't even care if we are young, I would take care of you and the baby." luhan admitted. He felt my body frozen around him and when he turned around he found me crying. Me crying. My emotions finally finding their way to the surface. 

"It's too hard Luhan. I can't be here to watch you raise a family and have a future I am not a part of. It will hurt too much and I wouldn't be able to bear the pain." I sobbed as he pulled me towards his chest. The tables our turned and I'm the messed up one while he is the one giving me strength. Maybe I am selfish. I mean he has more problems that I do. My problems compared to his - school work vs a baby. 

"Let's look on the bright side. It may not be mine..." I could tell without looking at him but by listening to his raspy voice that he had a lot more to say but it was better to keep quiet.

"When will you learn more about the baby?" I softly asked. I felt Luhan slightly tensed and heavily sigh.

"Tommorrow" The small word showed both hope and darkness. But we will soon know.  

We sat on my bed in the darkness slightly uplifted by the moonlight through the curtains that are still opened from Luhan's entrance. His arms around me as he hugged my body with my head on his chest. Time like these are hard to experience. The thought of fearing tomorrow and regretting yesturday makes you treasure the present.