He thought about it. Oh, did he think about it.

Honestly, she was on Suga’s mind more often than not. It pissed him off, to be thinking of her so much, but he just couldn’t figure her out. Why was she willingly getting herself involved with a violent gangster like him? Did she really want to be friends? Exactly what would she gain from such a friendship?

He wasn’t even sure he knew what “friendship” meant anymore. Him and BTS—that wasn’t just friendship. Those bonds were carved into his soul. Even V and J-Hope—they may have left the gang, and he may have been pissed as hell at them for selling out, but he’d still do anything for them if they asked. That was why he had to stay angry at them and make sure they stay away from him—because it would be all too easy to reveal how weak he truly was.

No, he decided, he didn’t know how to be a friend anymore, much less a good one. But as he thought of how Sujin had told him to sleep in her stuttering voice, had washed his clothes of blood and his house of dust, had made him food with her own hands, just like she’d said she would—the way she’d smiled at him—he knew she wouldn’t care as long as he tried.

Somehow, that was scary, the realization that someone other than his brothers was willing to accept him as he was, fully flawed and scarred, with a heart charred so black he hadn’t thought it could still beat for anyone but it did—yes, he admitted grudgingly to himself, Lee Sujin, this teenage girl, this fearful weakling, she scared him.

What scared him most? He didn’t hate the idea of being friends with her.

Something had changed. It was subtle, but still clear as day to anyone who had the chance to see Sujin and Suga in the same vicinity.

On the subway to and from school, they sat together. They didn’t often talk, and when they did it wasn’t much, but that didn’t matter. They sat together comfortably, him spread out across the seat, her curled into the space between his arm resting on the back of the seat and his side. They never touched, but there was a certain familiarity between them that was obvious.

When they passed in the hallways, whether alone or with others, they would catch the other’s eye and she would smile quietly and he would nod almost imperceptibly and they would turn away. They never spoke, never openly greeted each other, but it was obvious.

And of course BTS was aware of this change.

“Suga.”

Said boy turned and greeted, “Rap Monster, Jin, Jimin.”

“What happened between you and Lee Sujin?”

Suga narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to say?”

“You two are…friendly,” Rap Monster explained distastefully. “I knew Jungkook was friends with her but you—this isn’t like you. What’s going on?”

“She helped me out.”

Jimin guffawed. “You? She helped you? Wooooow! She’s interesting!”

Suga rolled his eyes. “Drop it. She’s useless.”

Jin raised an eyebrow. “Are you protecting her?”

“Are you threatening her?” Suga retorted lazily.

Rap Monster opened his mouth to speak, but then his eyes fixated on something over Suga’s shoulder. “Jungkook! There you are.”

The maknae jogged over with a bright smile. “What’s up?”

“Nothin’ much,” Jimin smirked, flicking dust off his shoulder. “Just talkin’ about Lee Sujin.”

Jungkook’s smile faded. “Why? What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh come on, Kookie, you’re smarter than that,” Jimin taunted. “She’s got Suga-hyung hooked!”

Suga growled.

“She helped Suga-hyung sleep,” Jungkook clarified tersely.

There was a collective inhale.

Suga glared at Jungkook telling. “Do you have to tell everyone?”

“They wouldn’t understand otherwise!”

“Hmm,” Jin hummed. “Now that’s different.”

Suga began warningly, “Jin, don’t—”

“No need to be so worried, Suga,” Jin smiled indifferently. “I won’t hurt her.”

“Jimin’s right. She is interesting,” Rap Monster murmured.

Jimin, on the other hand, had taken on a fiercely conflicted expression. “Dammit! If you—if she—if you also leave—”

“No one,” Suga interrupted with a sneer, “said anything about leaving.”

“Not yet,” Jimin conceded. “But you will.”

“I won’t.”

“We’ll just have to see.”

It was another day on the subway, after school, Sujin next to Suga like they had always been this way.

Today, though, Suga spoke. And he spoke first.

“Lee Sujin.”

“Yes!” She jolted upright.

“Calm down,” he said amusedly, almost chuckling.

She relaxed and nodded. “Is…something wrong?”

“Did—” Suga cleared his throat. “Did any of the guys talk to you?”

She cocked her head. “No. Are they going to?”

He met her eyes and nodded once. “Probably. Just a heads-up. They won’t hurt you.”

She nodded slowly, recalling her encounter with Jin. “R-right.”

Sujin fell silent, trying to think of any reason BTS might approach her again. It definitely had something to do with Suga, or maybe Jungkook again. Would it be Jin this time as well? Or someone else? She shivered.

Suga noticed and cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant to panic her. He knew the others would intimidate her and he didn’t want her to be scared away from him because—and he would never, ever say this aloud but—he kind of, sort of, maybe just a little liked having her sit next to him, and seeing her smile at him. It was so much better than seeing her stare at him with fear-widened eyes, thinking he might hurt her.

He really didn’t want to see that face on her again.

And so the next words out of his mouth were utterly unprecedented and spoken without thought: “Uh, hey, so about that dinner with your parents…do they still, you know?” He gestured randomly in the air.

Ah yes, that made complete sense, he thought sarcastically.

She blinked at him then gasped in surprise. “Really? Wait, are—are you saying yes? Because that would be so helpful, they’ve been nagging me about it for weeks and—are you—”

“Yes,” he stated firmly while wondering what the hell he was agreeing to.

“Are you—are you sure? Because you really don’t have to—I mean, I can—”

“Jesus, I said yes, what else do you want?” He sighed in exasperation.

She bit her lip, but even that couldn’t hold back her sunny smile. “Oh, thank you, thank you so much, Suga! I—oh, they’ll be so excited! Thank you! I’ll tell you the details tomorrow—”

He shifted and pulled out his phone, holding it out to her while looking in the opposite direction. “Here,” he said roughly. “Just text me.”

She smiled blindingly and eagerly entered her number into his phone and texted herself before handing his phone back to him and immediately saving his number. She was practically bouncing on the seat with muted happiness.

“Thank you so much! I’ll-I’ll try to make sure they don’t, um, make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Yeah, you do that,” he said distractedly as he read over her contact details. This was the first number in his phone that didn’t belong to BTS. He had such an odd feeling in his chest.

“Thank you, Suga, really. I—thank you.”

The subway stopped at her station and she stood but didn’t leave, fidgeting in front of him for a moment before darting into him for the first hug he’d felt in—never, possibly. He froze, not even noticing when she squeaked out a goodbye and ran off with pink cheeks.

There was a soft, lingering warmth where her cheek had pressed against his chest and where her arms had wrapped around his waist and where her hands had grabbed at his shirt. It was—

Pleasant.

He didn’t notice the tiny smile set on his lips the whole way home.

© Copyright 2015 by skyblaze208