Dongwoon looked around the compartment, seeing all of his friends sleeping soundly… or mostly of them.

Gi Kwang wasn’t there… Yoseob and Hyunseung told them he was staying a little longer to visit his aunt here. It was weird; the missing boy never mentioned even once that he had a relative there. The maknae faced again the window, watching the sunset.

The sun was almost orange and all the clouds around it were red, fading to purple, then to blue. It was beautiful sight, but it was making him kind of sad. The boy closed his eyes and bit his lips. He remembered when the lights in the elevator lit up again – the colors in front of his eyes were almost the same, blinding and confusing. Then he felt lips on his own and it felt so familiar that for a moment he thought he got it wrong. Then his vision came back and he saw Gi Kwang smiling sadly down at him. He was just about to open his mouth and say something… anything, when the boy stood up and dashed out.

He hadn’t seen him since then.

Dongwoon stood up and went out in the aisle. He needed some space right now and sitting wasn’t the best option. He went to the end of the train’s carriage and then back. He was so into his thoughts that he almost bumped into Doojoon. He looked up and saw the older smiling at him.

“Something on your mind?” the maknae nodded and leaned on the wall sighing.

“I’m really confused. I think I’m imagining stuff, only because I want them to be like that.”

“And if it’s as you think it is?” asked the older and Dongwoon looked up, seeing Doojoon’s sad smile.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about what you will do if the thing you imagined is true.” With that Doojoon ruffled the blond’s hair and smiled.

“Hyung…”

“I can’t tell you anything now, so feel free to punch me hard later. I will totally deserve it.” As his face was serious it turned all sunshine in a second and Dongwoon’s head was trapped in Doojoon’s headlock. “Thought I should be the one mad, why did you hide from me about Junnie and Hyunseung?”

“He told you?” asked the maknae, eyes wide.

“Yea, this morning.” With that he left the boy and looked him again with his serious face. “Just know that we’re not meddling, because we think this is yours and his problem.” With that the older boy patted Dongwoon on the shoulder and entered the compartment again. “Don’t stay out too much, the teacher will be mad.” With that Doojoon closed the door and Dongwoon saw him sitting next to Junhyung. Now that he thinks about it there was something wrong with the way they were seated. Hyunseung was as far away as possible from Junhyung, same goes for Yoseob and Doojoon…

Just then his phone rang and the boy fished it out of his jeans, reading the message, not pondering on his thoughts for too long.

From: AJ
To: Dongwoon

We need to talk.
When you come
back let’s meet
at the bench in
the park? I have
to tell you the
truth… Sorry.

To: AJ
From: Dongwoon

I want to talk too.
I will go home first.
How about at 11pm?

To: Dongwoon
From: AJ

As you say.

The time flew by fast. Dongwoon arrived at Seoul with his friends; he told his two besties he is supposed to talk with AJ. At the mentioned both boys fell silent and he only smiled, saying he will be ok no matter what; he arrived at home, chatted with his mom, stayed in his room for a while and then got out.

Now he was sitting on the bench he and AJ usually met and was waiting for the boy. Truth be told: he was 30 minutes early. He really couldn’t find a place for himself at his house, so he decided to go out. What if he has to wait 30 to 40 minutes for the boy? He stayed sitting on the bench, still, earphones plugged in his ears, watching the ground.

Maybe deep down he knew what was coming, yet he refused to face it. He knew that’s why his gaze was low. He knew that’s why he didn’t want to hear for the first moment when the boy will appear. He knew, yet he didn’t. His mind was screaming that it was his illusion, his want, that no one is that cruel to do it to him.

His phone buzzed and the boy got it out finding a new message.

From: Doojoon
To: Dongwoon

Me and Jun will
wait for you at
my place. Come
later.

He smiled. At least he had someone who he can trust and who will be next for him, no matter what happens today.

Dongwoon saw someone getting closer to him. At first he only saw the boy’s sneakers. Red Addidas sneakers with white stripes. Then followed white jeans… Dongwoon was afraid to look up, but he did it anyway. His vision travelled through the boy’s red hoodie and to his face. The figure had eye-lined piercing eyes, strawberry blond hair, thick lips and stern expression.

Yea… deep down Dongwoon knew it… Yet he still refused to admit it.

“What are you doing here?” he asked smiling like this was the Gi Kwang he sees every day - the one with the thick glasses and black hair and totally nerdy attire. Like this one here standing before him was nothing unordinary. The boy placed a crooked smiled on his face and his eyes narrowed a little. He scoffed and looked down, shaking his head from left to right; not believing the younger one.

“Why are you so damn stubborn? Is it fun having a playmate you don’t know the face of?” smirked the boy, standing still, hands in his pockets. At the heard Dongwoon’s smile faded. He looked up at the sky and laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“I have no idea how to react…” admitted the boy and looked at his classmate. “We can’t talk? You really said that? And what’s with all the get up? I just don’t get it.” Dongwoon smiled and buried his head in his hands. “At least explain…” he whispered, though it did sound a little like a sob.

“I told you about my brother… He died 3 years ago with my dad. Since then I told myself that I will be the good boy that won’t worry my mom.” Saying that Gi Kwang looked down and smiled. “I really wanted to do it, but after a while I couldn’t take it. Being bullied and not being able to fight back, not dancing, studying like crazy… It suffocated me. I wanted to die, but Yoseob and Hyunseung were next to me and with them I could vent all that was piling up within me. I could breathe again with them around. Then you and your friends came along.” At this point Dongwoon was sternly watching every move the boy did. “I really thought you hated me at first and I couldn’t get why. Everyone liked me the way I was acting, so why did you dislike me? I wanted you to like me for me too. Even if it was this side of me it was going to be enough, but then it got frustrating. I’m AJ and Gi Kwang, yet why did you like only AJ? … I probably hated that you didn’t like one of them and I was always venting it out as AJ… All the mean things I said, all the things I did… You could say I was playing with you if you want.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because it’s kind of the truth too. Didn’t I play with you?” the shorter one’s head bended to the side and he smiled. A smile Dongwoon hasn’t seen before. “I lied and deceived you. I was clingy as AJ and unapproachable as Gi Kwang.”

“But you did one thing as both of them – you kissed me.”

“That’s because I grew tired of it all. It’s frustrating seeing you ponder on what to do. Now you can just hate me. It’s simple.”

“Aren’t you afraid I would just tell at school?”

“Who would believe you? The nerd Gi Kwang being AJ? Even I would laugh at that.”

“So that’s it? You played with me, because you were angry I didn’t like Gi Kwang at school and now when you’re tired you just throw me away?” Gi Kwang smiled at that and bended forward towards the sitting boy.

“Pretty much.”

At the heard Dongwoon’s mind went blank. All he remembers is standing up, punching Gi Kwang, swearing and run.

He was angry and the only place he could go was to Doojoon.

While running he remembered all the things Doojoon said to him in the train, at the train station. Did his friends know?

He began running faster. When he reached his friend’s house he was barely breathing, but he managed to stay up. When the door opened and Doojoon appeared at the door the first thing that came to Dongwoon’s mind was to punch the boy too. So he did it. He punched him so hard that the older was on the floor on the second and Dongwoon was atop of him, pulling him up and down by the shirt.

“Did you know?! Hyung, did you know?!!”

“I learned yesterday!” yelled the older and rested himself on his elbows. “I promised not to tell you… He wanted to do it himself!”

That was it. He couldn’t take it. He knew why he wanted to tell him himself… So he could hurt him. If Doojoon or Junhyung told him, he would bear some hope and he would be even more crushed now. But at this moment, he wondered if he could be more crushed than this. Dongwoon buried his head in Doojoon’s chest and started crying. He felt hands around him, hugging him and voices telling him everything will be alright, but at that exact moment, he couldn’t comprehend it.

Gi Kwang’s POV:

The boy stood there – lying on the cold cement of the park and watching the starts. His lip bleeding. He heard footsteps, but he didn’t move and after a few seconds he saw two heads – one with blond hair and one with orange one.

“It must hurt.” Said Hyunseung reaching a hand for the boy.

“He deserved it.” Snorted Yoseob and crossed his arms on his chest.

“Yah! Yang Yoseob!”

“He’s right Seunggie.” Smiled Gi Kwang and looked at Yoseob. “I deserved it, right?”

His friend whined and hugged him tight.

“Pabo, pabo, pabo.” Chanted the blond one while he tried to suffocate the dancer. Hyunseung only patted his head and smiled.

“You can still fix things.”

“It’s better this way.” Smiled the dancer and hugged Hyunseung too. “Let’s go to my place. Movie’s night!”

“You’re unbelievable.” Chuckled Yoseob and broke free from the embrace. “Ok, let’s go!”

***

Somehow I think I'm starting to fail this fic... With every chapter that I write I feel like i'm only writing to fill space... I'm also thinking of dropping this fic, because I really have no idea how many people are reading it, but I know some are, 'coz they comment and I wanna finish it for them, but I don't want to just present them with something bad, so I'm really worried on what to do... So maybe I will take a long break, since I have an important exam in a month and I don't know if I can write in this one month, but I do have some back-up chapters left to post (like this one)... Yea... Well as you can see I'm totally not confident with this one piece of something...

But thanks to the ones who read =)