Two whole weeks had gone by and Hoseok had not returned to the hospital once. Hyeri’s private funeral had been held a few days after her passing and Hoseok continued feeling numb. He hadn’t been able to shed tears since the day at the hospital, and he almost felt guilty as he had stood next to the mount of fresh dirt on her grave.

His father on the other hand had completely broken down. There wasn’t a day that had passed where his dad hadn’t come home completely wasted. Even through his locked bedroom door, Hoseok could hear the loud racking wails that would erupt from him as he clumsily barge into Hyeri’s old room and slam the door shut. Hoseok would then lean against his door listening to the chocking sobs desperately wanting to comfort his father and not being able to do so. Hoseok didn’t even know how to comfort himself let alone his crumbling father.

It wasn’t until he was pulling stuff out of a few of his drawers that he saw the stuffed lion sitting on top of his dresser. The promise he had made himself two weeks back returned and hit him hard. With trembling fingers he picked up the lion and petted it remembering the boy with the beautiful smile whom he had completely abandoned. He felt disappointed with himself. He knew Hyeri would not have wanted him to go back on his word regardless of everything that had occurred. That same night after somehow getting his father into his own bed, he promised himself that he would visit Taehyung next day.

Hoseok then found himself anxiously sitting in the bus with a pale face and clammy hands thinking about having to step into the hospital where his sister had left him. Scary thoughts and memories threatened to break his resolution and make him regret this outing, but one thing helped him feel a little calm. He had stuck Taehyung’s stuffed lion into his backpack and with shaking pats he was able to push away the tears threatening to fall as the bus announced his stop.

The hospital staff greeted him gently and gave him their condolences, but he brushed them off not really accepting the fake pity. He felt like they were used to these things and the routine Im sorry for your loss had become old to him. It wasn’t until he saw Jin stepping out of the elevator that he was about to get into that he allowed himself to a little bit more open.

“Hoseok-ah, oh Hoseok-ah how have you been?” was the first question that erupted from an emotional Jin who had enveloped him in his arms in greeting. He felt guilty because he had purposely ignored Jin’s calls the past two weeks. The funeral had been completely private with the only other person who had attended being Yoongi. Jin had grown so close to the both of them, but Hoseok had pushed him away. Jin didn’t seem to be accusing because at the moment he held him earnestly in a sympathetic greeting.

Hoseok’s voice was just as emotional as he responded, “Its hard hyung. It hurts. Is Taehyung still in the same room?” he somehow had managed to get the question out.

Jin released Hoseok from his embrace, but kept his hands on his shoulders as he spoke, “He is. You might be a little shocked when you see him though. Come on I’ll take you to him.”

This time they both entered the elevator once more to get to the correct floor, and Hoseok almost didn’t notice the ding of the elevator when they had arrived. Jin had to gently pat his arm to get him out of his musings and Hoseok felt his clammy hands returning once more. He quickly stuck them in his pockets and felt his breath hitch after Jin whispered to him before entering that Taehyung had already lost 95% of his vision. He was practically blind now.  

The room was spotless, contrary to the object clutter mess it had been before. The books and stuffed animals that used to litter the floor all around were gone. The room felt so empty and cold and Hoseok could quickly spot the lone figure sitting hunched over in the hospital bed.

Taehyung.

The enthusiastic smiling boy who had arrived to brighten Hoseok’s day at first glance seemed to be gone. Even from the distance of the doorway his frail body could be seen. He had always been thin and gangly to begin with, but he seemed even tinier now. He sported a beanie on his head and upon closer expectation Hoseok could see why. The messy unruly set of wavy brown hair that once sat so nicely on his head was gone.

“Taehyung-ah it’s me Jin. I brought somebody to see you.”

At the sound of Jin’s voice, Taehyung frantically reached out a hand at the direction of his voice, “Hyung. Who is it?”

His voice.

It had turned so fragile compared to the last time he had heard it. He needed to let his presence known before the lump in his throat betrayed him, “Taehyung-ah it’s me Hoseok.”

Taehyung who still had his hand outstretched at the sound of Hoseok’s voice quickly let it fall and through frantic movements quickly tried to get up. He didn’t make it far off the bed because his legs crumbled on him. Hoseok had managed to beat Jin and gathered the weeping boy in his arms.

“Taehyung please don’t this. You are going to hurt yourself.” Hoseok muttered as he cradled him. From his peripheral vision he could see a visibly upset Jin deciding whether to stay or leave let them speak for a bit. The sound of the door closing showed the latter.

“Hyung… oh hyung I’m so sorry! I wasn’t able to do anything. I wanted to speak to her so badly but she was just gone! I wanted to be with you hyung… but….” His chocked sobs and words had become too much for him that he just held on tight and cried.

 Hoseok had let the lump in his throat win and his face was equally just as wet, “Taehyung no Im sorry for leaving you here. I should have come back, but I left you here all alone. I’m really sorry.”

Hoseok felt shaky hands riding up his arms and clumsily patting around his face to end up cupping his cheeks, “Please don’t say that hyung.”

The soft shaking hands held him in place and Hoseok looked straight into Taehyung’s face to find his eyes staring a little over his shoulder missing his own gaze by a few centimeters. It broke his heart to know that he hadn’t been there to help him transition. He had done it all on his own with the support of very few people. He felt like scum going back on his promise.

Hoseok raised one of his own hands and covered one of Taehyung’s that was already on his face in a gentle manner, “I promise from here on out Taehyung-ah I won’t ever leave your side. You have become such an important person for me in such a short amount of time. Taehyung-ah… I really want to get to know you.”