Today is the 1^st day CNBLUE concert in Osaka. So I prepared everything like the other hardcore fans. Official tees, checked. Light stick, checked. Hand banner, checked. Gadget with full battery, checked. Well, everything is packed inside my backpack. I should get going. My best friend, Ayumi is waiting in front of the venue and keeps calling me to hurry.

The venue has already full of people. So many BOICEs take a photo in front of the big banner of the show. I drag Ayumi to take photo with me there. And hey, there’re so many international BOICEs today and most of them are bringing Jonghyun stuff. Oh, have I told you that today is 15^th of May? Yep. Today is Lee Jonghyun’s birthday. My ultimate bias. I love him since I knew what CNBLUE is. He’s just too perfect to be described. And I think today all Burning souls (Lee Jonghyun’s fans name) are making effort to come here for celebrating his 28^th birthday. And so do I.

“Yaejin!” Ayumi calls me and instructs me to stand behind her in the line. We have to be quick unless you want to get the bad spot at the concert. I run and stand behind her.

“Are you really ready for this?” she asks me for God knows how many times.

“Of course yes. As if it’s the first time we watch their concert,” I chuckle. This silly girl.

“No. I mean.. You know. It’s the first time after your..”

The concert is started. All the boys are so handsome tonight. Ayumi and I stand in the very front row. Right behind the border. Our favorite place since we attended their concert. We wave our light stick and scream for the boys name, sing along and do fan chants. The concert’s just great until the time when suddenly Minhyuk stops playing his drum and followed by Jungshin and Yonghwa. Suddenly a staff comes bring a cake decorated with orange. Fans start singing happy birthday song for Jonghyun. He smiles widely. The smile that makes me falls for him over and over again. The smile that lighted up my days. I miss him like hell now. My tears will fall down anytime soon. Until I feel someone squeezes my hand. Ayumi looks at me with comforting eyes. As if said ‘everything will be alright’. I nod my head. Try my best to look back at the stage. My eyes meet Jungshin’s. He gives me a worried look. And again, I just nod my head.

I look at him with teary eyes, wishing the best for him. I don’t care even if he doesn’t see me. Even if I’m not there. I just wanna proof it. That I’m here. And I will always be.