“This is Dong Sun …” he placed his hand upon the shoulder of the small boy who was clinging tightly  to his leg “… my son …”

I blinked a couple of times, my mouth slightly agape as I stared at his unwavering facial expression. His blank stare confused me and my raging thoughts forced me to stay frozen in place as I tried to process what he was saying. “Oh my god are you serious  ?!” I exclaimed placing my head over my eyes and forehead in exasperation. “Why didn’t you tell me ? Couldn’t you at least have warned me ? What on earth Luhan ! I can’t believe you didn’t say a single thing ?” I rushed quickly, my words bursting out in a hurry. When I finished I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to see something unexpected. Luhan was bent over at the hip, his shoulders vibrating in laughter. I stared at him, confusion clouding my expression as he continued to laugh before he managed to gain control of his emotions and look at me, a humorous smile plastered on his face.

“Dong Sun isn’t my son Min …” He stuttered, trying to hold back the amusement that lay behind his sparkling eyes. I glared at him in disbelief.

“What ?!” I yelled, slightly embarrassed at my sudden outburst at his joke. I stepped forward and started hitting him lightly on the chest to draw the attention away from my reddening cheeks.

“Woah … woah … back off Minyoung before you cause any serious damage … Jongin isn’t here to protect me what will I do ~~~” he chuckled, making me feel slightly better. A brief smile flashed across my face before I noticed the two dark brown orbs that were gazing up at Luhan and I from the ground.

“Ah …” I smiled leaning down to eye level with the small boy “who is this actually ?” I asked glancing at Luhan who the question was directed at.

“That would be my brother … adopted brother.” He said as he joined my on the wooden floor beside the small child.

“Hello Dong Sun !” I giggled slightly at the boy’s childish wave as he walked towards me and introduced himself faultlessly in Korean, much to my surprise.

“Are you Minyoung noona ?” I nodded in reply to the child who was now speaking in Chinese, his first language. I could understand enough to get by in Chinese but not too much, only basics, so I could handle children’s talk. “Hyung talks about you a lot.” I laughed at his exclamation.

“How old are you ?” I asked in Chinese, slightly nervous that my pronunciation would be rusty seeing as it had been years since I’d visited the country as a child.

“I’m three … nearly four …” he stated, holding up the number of fingers on each of his hands as he counted them one by one to check that they were right. “I’m tired.” He suddenly shouted to Luhan who was crouched behind me.

“Okay … do you want to sleep in my bed again.” He nodded eagerly and Luhan carried him off into the bedroom before returning a minute later without the small boy by his side. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you but he was only dropped off earlier today … it was a shock to me as well …” he confessed, rubbing his nape with his hand awkwardly. “There are some problems with my father’s business over in China” he shook his head slightly as he spoke as if something was bothering him that he couldn’t get away from, his fists were tensing and relaxing again and he looked anxious. “so my mother sent Dong Sun over for a short while so he wouldn’t get caught up in any difficult affairs. They said it would be good for us brothers to spend more time together because he is alone a lot of the time back at home. I hope you don’t mind” he spoke with a shy, slightly crooked smile.

“Of course ! Why would I mind … besides … he’s cute” I grinned brightly “it will be fun …”

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Luhan and I sat in the park, watching Dong Sun playing with the other little children whose faces were glowing with glee and excitement. It had been three weeks since Luhan had to take care of Dong Sun, despite our busy studies we were able to balance out looking after the boy between Luhan, Hyori, Jongin and I. We were unable to go out to clubs often because of the responsibility and it was beginning to feel as if my lifestyle was changing dramatically - back to when I was younger. I was, however, happier than I’d ever been before …

We ignored the stares, the commenting and whispering of others around us who thought us to be young, irresponsible parents who had had a child underage. But they didn’t matter, we didn’t care what they thought because it was just us, it would only ever be us, by each other’s side.

I turned my head to meet Luhan’s loving gaze as we smiled at each other under the beating sun. We were suddenly interrupted by a loud shouting “Nooooona~~~~” Dong Sun ran up to me and grabbed my hand trying to pull me up. “Come and play ! Hyung ~~~” He whined before we both chuckled and stood up, each taking one of the boy’s hands as he skipped towards the greenery lining the one side of the park.

We walked hand in hand, talking, giggling, smiling. The blossom falling gently from the branches above, the pale shades of pink and purple created a picturesque view around us as we sat down on the bed of grass. Dong Sun started playing with the petals as Luhan turned to face me, a casual smile playing on his lips as we gazed at each other.

“I wish we could stay like this forever …” he whispered in a hushed tone leaning forward and placing a light kiss on my lips innocently, for that was the most perfect thing he could have done at that moment. I would have been infinitely happy if it had not been for the hint of sorrow I saw flittering behind his brunette eyes.

If only we could have stayed like that forever …

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A few weeks later, Luhan disappeared. He left the apartment, he left the university, he left me. There was nothing left, Jongin returned to his apartment to find Luhan, Dong Sun and all of their belonging’s gone, there was not even a trace of their existence; they had upped and left with everything they owned without a single word of goodbye to anyone we knew. And it changed me.

I searched for days that turned into weeks and weeks that turned into months until they had been gone for over two months. The couple of months that we’d spent together as girlfriend and boyfriend had been so mesmerising that I had not a clue what to do when he was no longer there. I couldn’t seem to handle how he was gone. He was right there, beside me … then, all of a sudden, he wasn’t – I couldn’t comprehend the abrupt change and it was taking its toll on me. Day after day, Hyori would comment on my dull skin, the bags under my eyes, my lack of appetite and how I’d pushed myself into complete solitude. But I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t function properly and, more than anything else, I didn’t really want to.

The first few weeks were the hardest. I didn’t leave the house; I was afraid that he might come back and no one would be at home. When the doorbell went off, when the phone rang, when I was sent a text message, when someone would shout my name. All of these things ignited a burning hope within me that Luhan had contacted me but each time I was let down and it hurt more every time.

Even Sehun had been helping to search for the missing boys, he’d been able to find out that they had left the area, heading in the direction of the airport, but nothing else had come up. Although he was an officer, he didn’t have access to as much information as we needed and we had simply assumed that he must have left the country with Dong Sun. I would sit and wait for hours, only leaving to go to classes and take notes that no longer meant anything to me; studying was impossible in my current state. I knew I shouldn’t have been affected so much after he disappeared but I couldn’t shake the unnerving feeling that something terrible had happened. I had begun to doubt my own memories of the two of us. Did he really care for me as much as I thought ? Did he care at all ? If he did … why did he leave without a single work ? And, more than anything else:

Would he ever come back ?

Hyori and Jongin would try to take me out regularly however they rarely succeeded. Despite this, I had been leaving the house more and more as time went by, Hyori kept telling me that time would heal all wounds, but I found it hard to believe when it hurt just as much as the day he vanished. The fresh air helped my aching head and was refreshing but the one thing it could not ease was the pain in my chest where a great emptiness now weighed me down. I never realised how lonely I was spending nights out at clubs, tricking myself into thinking that others cared for me but now, with Luhan gone, I felt more alone than ever even though I had Hyori and Jongin’s supporting and comforting words and presence.

On the day that marked a total of three months since his disappearance, the doorbell rang. I dragged myself up from my bed, not minding about my tired, haggard appearance, towards the front door. When I swung the door open, I was unprepared for the sight that materialized in front of me. Luhan stood, clothes old and a bit dirty, his skin flushed yet greyed and slightly sweaty, his hair messy, his body much thinner than last time I had seen him, his pupils constricted and eyes glazed over as he blinked rapidly. He looked completely out of his mind as he stumbled when he tried to stand up properly before grabbing onto the doorframe again as a support. I took a few steps back, as I shook slightly at the man staggering towards me, his face angry yet unknowing as he shouted out with a pained voice.

“Why does it hurt so much ?!”

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