A loud sound was definitely there. It was not only Gyuri’s thought. Behind the wall, there was Seongyeol who leaned on the wall tried to hide him.

 His breath was shortened. His heart was palpitating.

Am I hearing wrong? Seongyeol’s face was shocked.

He thought he only want to winded him on the building rooftop before he went back to work. Drinking Café Americano he bought when he met Gyuri there, in the coffee shop, but what he got was another surprise.

 It’s really wrong. I’m hearing wrong. Gyuri is preg… Seongyeol couldn’t make to say it. He couldn’t even believe it.

Seongyeol knew it from the start before. Myungsoo liked Gyuri from the start. He knew it. Myungsoo said that to him some weeks ago, but one thing that Seongyeol never expected. They already went that far. He didn’t know that Gyuri could easily forget him. Like she said before, she would be fine even there was no Seongyeol anymore in her life.

How about him then?

He felt suddenly air was out of his range. He couldn’t breathe. No one could help him. No one.

Tear was threatened to fall from his eyes. No he would not cry. Men could only cry three times in his life, this was not one of them.

But Seongyeol couldn’t hold on crack inside his heart. It was not only a little crack. He was broken into pieces.

Didn’t that feel unfair? Gyuri was really unfair to him. She never asked an explanation from him yet decided it by herself. Indeed it was really unfair, but what he would say if Gyuri asked for it?

It was really his fault. No one else he could blame.

Was 8 years an easy one to forget or he really not worth for Gyuri? He was really not worth for a Goddess like her.

He cheated on her, not only once. He knew it was wrong and he still kept falling into the death trap.

“Oppa, what happen to you? Why are you drinking?” The girl in his department, yes the one he cheated Gyuri with was joining Seongyeol inside the pochangmaja (food cart).  She was confused to see why Seongyeol calling her and kept drinking alcohol instead talking to her.

“Is there any problem? Oppa…” The girl tried to reach Seongyeol’s arm but Seongyeol avoided to be touched.

“Don’t… “Seongyeol finally muttered something. The girl narrowed her distance toward Seongyeol who sat in front of her.

“What oppa? I cannot hear you.” The girl tried to reach Seongyeol again and failed.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t call me oppa. I’m not your oppa. Stop calling me like that.” It was Seongyeol’s outbreak.

He used to enjoy the call name but now it made him felt disgusted. He hated that call name. It was only one call name that he really missed to hear for now. Yeol… Yeollie… Lee Seongyeol…Jerk Whatever Gyuri wanted to call him. He really wanted to hear it.

“There’s something I need to tell, Seongyeol.” That night after Myungsoo called him, he came to a bar that they used to hang out together, three of them. Because Gyuri liked this place so much.

It was actually such a pain to come here since there were so many memories of Gyuri there.

“What is it?” Seongyeol tried to cool when inside his heart was beating crazily. What he want to talk about? Why he looked so serious tonight?

“I like Gyuri Oh no, I love her.” Myungsoo said it. It was like a thunder in the middle of sunny day suddenly hit you. 

“W-hat?” Seongyeol stuttered

“I don’t need to ask permission about it since Gyuri is not yours, but I just want to inform you that as a fair play. You’ll not get angry to me, right?”

Seongyeol didn’t know how to react to the news. He opened his mouth but only to close it again. He didn’t know what to say or what to ask. Some thought ran inside his mind like a train. Many question left unsaid. In the end he chose to ask one question only.

“When did you start to like her?” Seongyeol weakly asked. He was already about to give up since he saw Gyuri with Myungsoo at the annual party.

“From the start, even far before you like her.”

“But why…” Seongyeol couldn’t ask it. He wanted to know if Myungsoo loved Gyuri from the start, why he never told something about it. He had the chance so much before Seongyeol pursued Gyuri.

Myungsoo only smiled.

Yes, Myungsoo was being mean to him. What kind a best friend did that thing to his own friend. Seongyeol couldn’t help to feel betray and also devastated.

Mean. Kim Myungsoo, you’re really mean.

It liked a thief who stole on your house when you were also inside but off guard.

Was it your revenge because I hurt her before?

“Gyuri a… open the door. Open the door please!” Seongyeol furiously banged the door in his drunken state.

He was frustrated. He didn’t care about the surrounding anymore. What he wanted now only to talk to Gyuri. He needed to know. He wanted to know why. Why Gyuri never asked him the reason behind the unfaithfulness. Why she let him go so easily. Why she didn’t love him anymore.

“Park Gyuri!” Seongyeol knocked the door once more with more force. If someone heard that, it sounded like Gyuri was in trouble with loan shark.

Seongyeol was losing his mind.

“What the hell are you doing, Lee Seongyeol?!” Gyuri opened the door also furiously.

She knew it from the start it was Seongyeol’s voice outside, but she didn’t understand why Seongyeol came here on this night and she also didn’t know that Seongyeol was drunken.

“Are you drunk?” Gyuri hollered.

Seongyeol pushed her inside.

“Are you losing your mind? Why are you barging inside my house?” Gyuri rubbed her back because Seongyeol’s push made her back hit the wall behind.

Little inside her mind, she was afraid to see this kind state of Seongyeol. She never saw it for 8 years before. This was the first time Gyuri saw Seongyeol losing his mind completely. She knew that Seongyeol was childish and his anger was like a child, but it was never been like this.

Seongyeol came closer to Gyuri and trapped her inside his arm cage. Gyuri tried to make the gap further. She tried to avoid Seongyeol.

“Why?” What happen was totally unexpected. What he did was totally opposite from what Gyuri thought. He was crying.

Seongyeol cried helplessly. He gave up on his ego and let out his tears.

“Why you never asked me the reason I cheated behind you? Why you never asked me if I ever love you?”  Seongyeol put his head on Gyuri’s shoulder, made her couldn’t move at all.

Gyuri couldn’t react properly through the act. She only could let Seongyeol leaned on her.

“Am I really not worth for you? What the means behind our eight years story for you?”

“Sorry, I’m really sorry for doing that to you. Can you stop be mean to me?” Seongyeol didn’t really aware for what he said because of the state he was in now. If he knew what he said, right now he would kill himself from the embarrassment. He looked like a loser right now.

Seongyeol moved closer to her lips. He stared on it and landed a kiss. It liked a mixed feeling inside Gyuri to feel the kiss. Moreover she felt really bad about it.

“Can you come back to me?” Seongyeol stared deep into her eyes after the kiss.

It was what Gyuri wished to hear at first day they really broke up, but why now Gyuri felt nothing to it. It was like she was not the main character of this love story, she couldn’t empathize Seongyeol’s tears.

In instant all the feeling she had for Seongyeol was like vanished to the air. It was like those were never there.

It hurt because it mattered. Gyuri remembered what Myungsoo said before when she complained about how she missed Seongyeol and it was hurting her so much.

It hurt because it mattered. I guess it doesn’t matter for me anymore.

Gyuri shifted her gaze from Seongyeol and found a nightmare there. Myungsoo stared at them from her front door. He was stiff like statue. No one could guess what thing ran inside his mind.

Gyuri quickly pushed Seongyeol off from her. She didn’t want Myungsoo misunderstood what happen there.

“It’s not like what you see, Myungsoo. Listen to me first.” Gyuri tried to hold on Myungsoo. What kind thought ran inside her mind was she didn’t want to lose Myungsoo.

Her heart was beating so fast. It was like a girlfriend caught cheating by his boyfriend.

But what were they? They were not a couple. Why Gyuri’s heart beat so fast just one thought she might be losing him because of this?

It hurt because it mattered.

This hurt because it mattered. What’s going inside his mind matter for her now?

Myungsoo still looked at Seongyeol who had fallen asleep after falling from Gyuri’s push. Myungsoo was really hard to read. He didn’t show any expression else than stiff like statue on the door frame. 

What happen next is made Gyuri felt erratic. Myungsoo was smiling calmly.

“He is drunk.” Myungsoo entered the apartment and picked up Seongyeol from the floor. He tried to bring Seongyeol to Gyuri’s sofa inside.

This was sick. The situation was so sick. How could Myungsoo smile and pretend like he didn’t saw Seongyeol kissed her.

“You’re not angry or questioning what happened before?” Gyuri followed Myungsoo.

“What I need to ask? Why Seongyeol is here? Why he kissed you?” Myungsoo asked back. “It is your problem with him, not mine. I don’t have any authorities to ask it.”

He looked sad when he said it. That made Gyuri felt more complicated.

“Don’t you say you love me? Don’t you need to get your answer for me?” Gyuri was curious about what actually going inside Myungsoo’s mind. She was also a little bit pissed off by Myungsoo’s reaction and afraid too.

How could he say everything about his feeling toward her and at this kind situation he could pretend like it was nothing to do with him? Did he really serious about her? Or it was once again a play for him like one in the high school.

“Yes, I want it but you still not give that yet to me.” Myungsoo sat on the floor near the sofa.

Gyuri sat along beside him. “Do you want your answer now?”

Myungsoo stared at Gyuri long. They were silently staring at each other. It liked a competition who would give up first to show their feeling.

Myungsoo shifted his gaze. “Take your time slowly. I don’t want to rush you. “

At the end it was Myungsoo who dodged it first.

Myungsoo’s word felt more like challenge for Gyuri. “But I want to give it now.”

Myungsoo turned his head facing Gyuri.

“Really? Are you sure it’s your real answer?”

He smirked then glanced at sleeping Seongyeol.

“He really loves you certainly.” Myungsoo said while staring at Seongyeol. “When a man in drunken state, the one he comes to must be a person who