“Do Young, watch out!”

“Huh?” Before Do Young could even react, the basketball smacked her right in the head and the sound of the ball hitting the ground and bouncing away was not heard as Do Young clutched her head on reflex.

It didn’t really hurt – it just shocked her quite a bit.

“Do Young! Are you okay?” Haemi ran over to check on her friend. Do Young placed her hand up to show that she was okay.

“I’m fine.” It was her fault anyways for not paying attention.

“Geez.” Haemi lightly smacked Do Young’s shoulder. “I know you usually don’t pay attention but you should have at least tried this time.” They were playing basketball for God’s sakes. Someone is bound to get hit on the head if they don’t try to follow the ball. How else were they supposed to dodge if the ball ever went flying in their direction?

“I got it.” Do Young waves it off. She wasn’t making a big deal out of it so Haemi should just drop it. “Haemi, I’m really okay.” She tried to convince her friend.

“But it looks like it might bruise.” Haemi gently pointed out as she glanced at Do Young’s forehead in concern.

“A bruise that will heal and go away.” Do Young remarks and gives Haemi a smile. The gym teacher blew the whistle to resume the game and Haemi reluctantly goes back into position. This time, Do Young made sure to not let the bickering of the two girls take away her attention again.

Getting hit once was enough.

But once again, the quiet fussing started up behind her. It wasn’t like Do Young was eavesdropping, it was always a habit of hers to get distracted whether she liked it or not. She shook her head and forced herself to pay attention to the ball.

Let’s try not to get another bruise, she told herself.

Fortunately, the ball only met with her forehead once and she ended gym class on a good note and the rest of the school day was pretty much uneventful after that.

“Hey, Do Young!” Haemi ran and caught up to Do Young outside the classroom. “Some others and I are planning on hanging out, wanna come?”

Do Young thought about it but realized that the invite didn’t appeal to her much. “No thanks. Maybe next time?” It wasn’t because she didn’t want to hang out with them, it’s just that the idea of breaking away from her usual routine sounded tiring.

Haemi pouted. “You always turn us down.” She smacked her lips together. “Fine, but promise me that we can celebrate your birthday that’s coming up.”

Right. Do Young had completely forgotten. But how could she not even remember her own birthday? She blinked back from her thoughts and nodded her head. “Deal.”

Haemi gave her a bright smile and a wave before heading in the opposite direction.

***

Do Young followed the same pathway, slowly taking in the events happening around her. The sounds of the cars speeding by, the people conversing as they walked past her, and the feeling of the wind that slowly caressed her face – a sense of peacefulness washed over her as she found herself lost in the happenings.

But this time, she made sure to remember to stop before crossing. It was a close one, seeing that it was right when the red ‘don’t cross’ sign flashed did it finally catch her attention.

She flipped her head from side to side to see if anything was going on around the streets and when the sign gave signal to cross, Do Young headed towards the usual snack shop. The familiar bell sounded off and the familiar person was still standing behind the counter.

Yong Guk turned around and greeted the new customer, but rather unenergetically. “Hey.”

Do Young naturally notices the change in Yong Guk and slowly makes her way to the counter to take a seat. “You look…different.” She comments. ‘Different’ was a better word than ‘awful’, Do Young decided.

“How so?” He sighs and meets her analyzing eyes.

“Your frown looks deeper today.” She answers back right away and turns her head to look at the candy shelves. She always reaches for the same one but she couldn’t help but to see the other options.

She looks back up and shows the candy bar to Yong Guk. But her eyes catch something familiar on the counter. It was the same magazine from yesterday. She motions at it as she takes a bite from the candy bar. “Thought you tossed it out yesterday.”

Yong Guk looks down at the magazine. “Then I remembered that I should recycle it.” He lied – he was actually curious to find out what the other steps were but obviously didn’t want to admit it to the young girl before him.

Do Young nods her head, not finding any reason to question his statement. Even though Yong Guk had carelessly come up with such a weird excuse, she wouldn’t have judged him if he had said he just wanted to read it. She smiled to herself.

Yong Guk blinks in surprise to see a small smile grace her lips. But before he could register it fully, it disappeared. Beside the random smile, he noticed something different from her face.

That’s when he saw the bump on her forehead. “What happened to your head?”

Do Young looked up at him and instinctively touched her forehead. “Got hit by a basketball.”

“How?” Yong Guk gave her a face.

She shrugged. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

Yong Guk sighs and bends down to get something. Do Young watched him curiously as he walked out from behind the counter to the ice box. He returned with some ice in the cloth. “Here.”

Do Young cautiously reaches out to receive it. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Yong Guk poked the bump on her head and pushed her head back and Do Young yelps in surprise. “It’s for that tennis-ball sized bump on your head.”

She stares at him blankly as she places the cold cloth onto her head. She winced at the sudden throb. It didn’t hurt like that before.

“Shouldn’t girls take care of their image?” Yong Guk remarks as he returns back behind the counter and leaned against the back wall.

“What image?” Do Young asked. She really didn’t know what Yong Guk was talking about.

“What if you get a scar?”

“This bump wouldn’t give me a scar.”

Yong Guk clicks his tongue at her lack of care. “How did that happen again?”

“I said I got hit by a basketball.” Sometimes Do Young notices how Yong Guk always made her repeat things. Was it because she was unclear or was he that forgetful?

“I know.” Yong Guk retorts. “I’m talking about why you didn’t duck like how any normal person would.”

Do Young thought back. “Some girls were arguing and I lost track of the ball.”

Yong Guk nodded his head. He wasn’t at all surprised about the reason. “What were they arguing about that was so interesting?”

Do Young sighed and continued to munch on her candy bar. “They both like the same boy.” She shrugged. Those were normal problems among teenage girls. “One felt like they couldn’t be friends anymore and the other kept apologizing.”

“So what did you think?”

Do Young chewed and thought carefully. “Well, the friendship obviously didn’t mean much to one but did to the other. So if one wanted to end the friendship so easily –“

“Then give up?” Yong Guk provided the answer.

“…No.” Do Young corrected him. “You forgot that the other girl didn’t want to end the friendship.” Do Young pointed out. “I was going to say that the other girl just have to try twice as hard to stop it.”

“Isn’t that a hopeless cause?” Because to Yong Guk, it was hopeless. If one felt like that, why did she have to be forced to accept something that she didn’t want? “Sometimes, it’s just easier to give up.” Yong Guk stated.

Do Young looked at Yong Guk silently. If anyone wanted her to, she could easily state and describe Yong Guk’s personality. He tried to hide it but things like that can’t be kept hidden for long. And to Do Young who sees Yong Guk pretty much every day, small bits of emotions he keeps hidden would come to light without him fully knowing. It was another habit of hers to take notice of these things. It wasn’t like she wanted to, it just happened like that.

“But could one live with themselves to let such trivial things to prevent them from being happy?” Do Young asked good-naturedly.

He pushed himself off from the wall. “What if it isn’t trivial?” She flashed in his mind again. What if you lost something so important that giving up was your only option? It was hopeless to think you can get better when a large chunk of yourself was ripped away. You couldn’t easily replace it and it was impossible to. “Maybe, the two girls caused a rift in their friendship that couldn’t be mended. Maybe it’s just impossible to go back to the way they were or even if they’re friends again, there’s always this fact in the back of their mind that tells them it’s not the same anymore.” Yong Guk’s fingers made their way to the ring on his left hand.

Do Young eyes flickered down to the movements of his hand. His fingers continued to twist the ring on his left ring finger, around and around. She looked away and up to meet Yong Guk’s eyes.

Yong Guk was still spinning the ring as he leans on the counter, staring intently at Do Young, who returned a simple stare. Yong Guk was waiting on her answer. Did he finally manage to stump her? But, he wondered too soon. Do Young leaned forward and rested her arms on the counter, setting the candy bar down and the man-made ice pack aside.

“Anything is possible.” Do Young states gently. “If it’s what you want then you should try your hardest. To the girl that wants to save the friendship, she’s trying her best to keep something that makes her happy.” Do Young pressed her lips together in thought. To be honest, Do Young admired people like that – people who didn’t give up so easily in the face of hardship. “So when you feel like your hands are bounded and in turn, you readily surrender, you just voluntarily kept yourself from the happiness that might have come your way. That is the saddest thing you can do.”

It was sad because you stopped yourself from being happy – allowing yourself to be stuck in that one miserable place in your life.

“Even if it feels like it won’t get better?” Yong Guk’s voice came out soft. He didn’t understand how Do Young could think like that. Life isn’t as easy as she was making it out to be. She was too positive.

“Even then.” Do Young quickly answered and grabbed the ice pack to place back onto her head again. “It’s all up to the person in the end right? If the person badly wants to reach that point of happiness, that person will never allow the word ‘impossible’ to cross his or her mind.”

Yong Guk stared silently as Do Young finishes her candy bar. “We’re still talking about the two girls’ friendship, right?” He mindlessly asked. Why did it always feel like Do Young could see through him or read his mind? Though she was young and he shouldn’t feel intimidated by the barely legal teenager, he couldn’t help but feel to her eyes.

She blinked at his question. “Of course, what else would we be talking about?”

He straightened up. “I’m not sure.” With his eyes still on her, he grabbed the magazine and opened it to the page with the steps on it.

Do Young peered over to take a look. “So, what’s the second step?”

“I thought this doesn’t relate to you.”

“It doesn’t. I’m simply curious.” She shrugs as she responds.

Yong Guk sighs and looks down at the page. “After identifying the problem, think of ways to counter it.”

Do Young tried her best on hiding what she thought about that. Could the step be any vaguer? Yong Guk watches her and waits on her reaction but she offered him none right away. “Who writes this stuff?” She finally manages to ask and at the same moment, her ring of keys falls out of her pocket. She sets the ice pack down upon the counter surface to crouch over in order to grab them off the floor. Her eyes catch the little charm hanging off of the ring.

She sets the keys on the counter and her expression softens as she looks at the long thin chain with the small metal sun at the end of it.

Yong Guk looked at her, then at her keys but didn’t take note of anything. Yong Guk had known Do Young to sometimes get distracted by her own thoughts. But, he didn’t know the kind of thoughts that were running through her mind.

And that was the difference between the two. He didn’t know the depth of Do Young’s thoughts but it always felt like she knew his.

“You know,” Do Young starts again as she reaches out to play with the charm gently between her fingers. “Of course there are lots of people who don’t do anything as well. There are people who can’t help but allow that one word, ‘impossible’ to stop them. They see the problem but can’t come up with ways to counter it.”

Yong Guk gives her his full attention. People like him.

“Of course, the girl can simply give up and push away all thoughts of trying her best to repair the friendship. It seems easier that way. But, I think it’s all because of fear. It’s the fear of taking that first step that makes people feel discourage.” Her voice is soft as she says everything that is carefully forming in her mind. “They don’t know how it will be. They’re barely hanging on now and for them to take such a risk, it must be so scary.” There’s a possibility that you’re opening yourself up, making yourself vulnerable to all kinds of things – like failure, trauma, and more pain.

“It’s the fear that nothing will be better.” Yong Guk completed. So even if he does try to do something about his problem, what were the chances that he’ll be back to normal? Will he feel happy again? Will he finally be able to move past her?

Do Young nodded. “But even though it feels impossible, scary, or hopeless, taking the risk is so worth it. Because you’ll be surprise with how much better you can feel when you finally give yourself a chance to feel something more.”

“…like what?”

Do Young lifts her head up to look at Yong Guk with a gentle smile. “Like relief, comfort, and ease.”

Yong Guk allowed the words to repeat in his mind. Will he be able to finally feel that? It’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember how to feel that way. He blinked back from his thoughts and cleared his throat, he needed to end it before it gets too deep. “So what would you tell the girl?”

Do Young hummed in thought. “I would tell her that it all seems tiring now but nothing is stopping you from achieving what you want, except of course, yourself. The frustration and hopelessness will naturally go away as you focus your mind on other things. Like trying your best to mend your friendship, so don’t give up.” She thought of her words. “That’s what I would like to tell her.” After saying that, Do Young sighs and quickly adds. “But, it’s not like I would ever have the chance to.”

“Of course, she would think you’re a creeper.” Yong Guk joked lightly.

“I’ve also heard that before.” Do Young thought of how often Haemi had called her that in the past. “But, you’re wrong. I’m just an observer.” That was also the same excuse she would tell Haemi.

Yong Guk snorted. “Let’s see how many people would believe that.”

Do Young answers, amused. “Not many, I’ll admit.”

“I hope you have friends.”

“I do.” Do Young gives Yong Guk a look. “I really don’t know what you think of me but I do quite all right in my social life.”

“I find it hard to believe.” Yong Guk continued to . “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be spending so much of your time here with an old snack shop owner.” Though, like he mentioned before, he didn’t mind her presence.

“For someone who reads magazines on how to experience normal human emotion, you talk smack a lot.” Do Young retorts. “And I thought this was a no judging zone.” Sure, she judged him in her mind, but she never did out loud. So her statement is still valid.

A wide grin spreads across his lips and he reaches out to knock her head affectionately. “Don’t worry, this old shop owner will be your friend.”

Do Young stared at Yong Guk passively. “Impossible.”

Yong Guk tilted his head in amusement. “You did say anything was possible.”

***

Yong Guk walked into his bedroom and dropped the empty box beside him before plopping himself down in front of the closet. He had made a decision and he was going to take the risk.

He took a deep breath and reached out for the neatly folded clothes that had been left untouched for so long to quickly put into the box, not allowing him any time to persuade himself to stop. But as soon as he moved the feminine clothes above the box, his arm froze.

There was absolutely no will to allow him to drop the stacked clothing. Any will he had in the beginning vanished. His hands shook as he angrily clutched the pieces of shirts. Why couldn’t he do it? It had already been two years, he have had more than enough time to get over it, to get over her.

He angrily tossed the clothing aside and away from him. He brought his hands up to his face and dragged them through his hair in frustration. The house was silent and the only sounds that met Yong Guk’s ears were the sounds of his own breathing.

He tried. He really did.

But it is impossible.

He really did want to be better, so, so bad but that goal is so unattainable. It is simply so far out of his reach, that even if he tried his best, his fingertips will always only be able to skim it, never able to completely grasp it.

Anything was possible? What kind of bull is that? Why did he even think for a second that he had the strength to do it?

It’s impossible to throw out things that belonged to her. He couldn’t remove the physical traces of her existence. He wasn’t ready to let go of her yet even though she wasn’t physically here anymore.

Move on? It was just hopeless to believe he could move on.  

Author's Note:

I should be updating my other story....mannnn but my mind is working for this one, so enjoy! (Before the writer's block gets me while I'm trying to write this story). Thank you for subscribing guys so I'll definitely try my best to make this story amazing!

BTW, I do not own any of these pictures. Credit goes to the original owners.