The young girl took light steps down the familiar path and glanced at the world around her. This was a little habit of hers. Others wouldn’t care for such things but this is what Do Young found interesting. The passing cars could easily take away her attention or the random people that shared the sidewalk with her would catch her eye.

It didn’t matter what it was, but simple things like that would consume her mind so easily. Maybe it was because she liked watching the world and how it worked around her or maybe it was because she was bored and needed something do. Whatever that may be the reason, Do Young didn’t care to think too much into it…since it was after all, a little habit of hers.

Speaking of habits, Do Young had quite a few and another one was to stop by the little snack shop that was on the way home. It didn’t matter if it was raining, hot, or cold out, Do Young always made sure to somehow stop by.

She wasn’t sure if it was the snacks, ramyun, or the shop itself that interested her so much. It was most likely the shop owner that stole her attention but it didn’t matter. Stopping by the shop was a habit.

A habit or routine that she found comfortable and didn’t care to change. She didn’t like much change anyway.

“Miss, watch out!”

Do Young gasped in surprise as her arm was grabbed and her whole body was yanked back away from the busy street. Do Young stared wide-eyed as the sounds of horns resonated around her.

“You should really watch where you’re going!” The man scolded her.

Do Young bowed in apology. “Thank you and I’ll be sure to pay attention.” She breathed out a gentle breath. Well, that was close. No wonder why her friends always mention how unaware she is about her surroundings.

Do Young made sure to focus on the sign and when the lights turned red, she carefully walked across the street and unknowingly, a smile tugged at her lips as the sign to the snack shop came into view. Do Young quicken her steps until she reached the front of the shop and listened to the familiar ringing bell as she opened the door, the smile already fading from her lips as she stepped inside.

She took careful and quiet steps towards the person behind the counter.

His back was turned so she could see the back of his head. His attention was focused on the magazine he was reading to even notice her presence. She looked at the black strands of his hair that weren’t completely straight nor was it completely curled and watched his head move side to side as he read the magazine in his hands. His arms would move as he flipped the pages and she would notice his back muscles flexing through the shirt.

It wasn’t much nor did she mean anything by it but Do Young was someone who would notice little details like that. Another little habit of hers.

“What’s the point of sneaking when I can clearly hear the bell?” His deep voice blankly stated. Do Young immediately drops her act and walks over, the clacking of her shoes against the floor now filling in the quiet ringing in the shop.

“Come on, it’s not fun when you do that.” Do Young blankly says as she takes a seat on the high chair and leans her elbows on the counter. “Get it together, Yong Guk.”

Yong Guk turns around and eyes the girl. “Do you always call someone older than you by their name? Where are the honorifics?” He looks back at his magazine.

Yong Guk may be 24 and Do Young may be 17 – but it wasn’t too big of a gap. “You see Yong Guk, I think our maturity is on the same level so…”

“So you think it justifies you being rude and talking informally.” He ends her sentence for her.

She clicks her tongue. “I don’t think our relationship should include respect. It kinds of…complicates things.” Do Young’s expression remains blank after seeing Yong Guk’s face. A face telling her that he gives up. She looks at the magazine in his hand. “So…whatcha reading?”

Yong Guk shows her the cover.

“How to be…happy?” Do Young reads it out loud questionably. What kind of person reads those kinds of things? Do Young eyes Yong Guk carefully. “Well, I can see why you’re reading it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yong Guk asks back inattentively while he flips through the pages.

“If, you know –“ Yong Guk looks up and sees Do Young using her own fingers to push up the corner of her lips to resemble a smile. “ – you probably should stop frowning so much.” She bluntly states.

“You frown.” He stares at her. “I don’t frown.” It was true, the girl in front of him didn’t smile all that much either. She would joke around, but she never laughs like most of the high school girls who sometimes come here to socialize.

She arches her brows. “That’s the only expression you know.”

He narrows his eyes at her comment. She always seemed to do this. It may seem like she doesn’t mean anything by it but Yong Guk was sure she was smarter and more thoughtful than what she lets on. It’s all a trick and Yong Guk wasn’t foolish enough to not see through it. “What do you get out it Do Young?”

“What are you talking about?” Do Young takes her attention off of Yong Guk and scans the candy shelves.

“You know, coming here and making comments like that.” Yong Guk couldn’t really tell what the girl was thinking. She would stop by after school all the time, come in and get her usual snack, and bother him. What was so great about that? Even after doing all of that, she doesn’t even seem to enjoy it.

“It’s entertaining.” Do Young honestly answered. It was a habit and routine that she had gotten used to and liked.

“Enter…taining…” Yong Guk said the word as if it was foreign. That word felt strange on his tongue. Yong Guk had come to a conclusion a long time ago that this girl was interesting. Sometimes, she seemed a little out of it but it never really mattered to Yong Guk. She somehow always passed the time for Yong Guk. Since time usually always passed by slowly for him. He nods his head. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I hardly think I could surprise anyone.” Do Young grabs a bar off the shelf and shows it to Yong Guk before ripping the wrapper open. Her friends always told her how predictable she was.

“Explain to me again why you’re named Do Young?” To Yong Guk, Do Young wasn’t unhappy nor was she depressed but she never really seemed too bright or energetic either so he found it sometimes funny that she was named that.

“You aren’t the first person to ask that.” Do Young bit into the candy bar. “My mom said when I was born, I was bright like the sun so she named me Do Young.” 

“So because you were like sunshine, she named you that?”

“I don’t know how many times I have to explain it to you, Yong Guk. Each time, I say the same thing, the words never change and the story won’t ever.” Do Young found it quite amusing, to be honest.

This girl was ridiculous and Yong Guk couldn’t help but let out a rare chuckle. “Whatever you say.” It was ironic to him. Someone who was named ‘Do Young’ should be bright and smiley like her but this girl in front of him was the total opposite.

Silence followed but it was strange. Nothing was awkward and nothing pushed them to fill up the silence either.

Yong Guk looked at the girl as she pulled out her phone to play some game on it. “You should be reading instead of ruining your brain with useless games.”

“Stop trying to lecture me.” Do Young kept her eyes on her phone. Soon, her vision was obscured with the lousy magazine being placed in front of her face.

“I think you need this more than me.” Yong Guk states and arches his brow when his eyes met with hers.

Do Young sighs and puts her phone away. She takes the magazine from him. “Identify the problem.” Do Young nods her head as she reads the first thing she sees. “Great first step.” She sarcastically states and looks up at Yong Guk. “So, what’s your problem?”

Yong Guk was taken aback by the question. “What do you mean?”

“Why you frown.” Do Young obviously states. “What else would I mean?”

“I gave that magazine for you, why are you asking me?” Yong Guk leans back against the wall. He didn’t want to admit it but he was curious about what she was going to say.

“Well…” Do Young closes the magazine and places it neatly on the counter. “I’m not unhappy so what problem would I identify.” Sure, she didn’t smile much but it didn’t mean she was unhappy. Yong Guk stared at her, not really knowing what to say. Do Young stared back and leaned her face into her palm. “So…you think I’m unhappy?”

Yong Guk smacks his lips together. “Then what else are you?”

“You think we’re the same?” Do Young answered with a question.

He didn’t know what she meant by that. “What do you mean by the ‘same’?” This continuing onslaught of questions back and forth was their normal conversation.

Do Young tilt her head. Did he really not know? “Let’s just say this magazine is more relatable to you than me.” She answers and he sighs in response. She slides the magazine across the counter towards him. “But these things don’t work.”

“Are you trying to give me advice?” Yong Guk looked at her incredulously.

Do Young looks to the right, the usual picture frame catches her eye. It was no mystery to her who that woman was or what the ring on Yong Guk’s left ring finger is or the fact that she never saw the woman around. She tears her eyes from the picture, it was always a habit of hers to catch the image of the photo whenever she came here. “One’s happiness is up to one’s decision.”

Yong Guk didn’t know why but the mere words of a high schooler seemed to have hit a chord within him. It shouldn’t have mattered, what did she know about happiness? She was young, she didn’t live through what he did but whenever she spoke, she seemed wise beyond her years. Maybe that’s why Yong Guk didn’t mind her presence so much.

And that is the very reason why Do Young’s mere presence was an irony, a paradox if you will.

She was young but she spoke like she’s been through years of experience. Her name indicated someone bright but her face is emptied of emotions. She looked unhappy but she stated otherwise, which may or may not be true. And she seemed so unaware but she knew more about the world than the next person.

She was the total opposite of what she seemed to represent. It was definitely strange.

He pushed himself off the back wall and grabbed the magazine off the counter. “What do you know?” Despite acting like he brushed her words off, he dropped the magazine into the waste basket.

“Not much, apparently.” She answers nonchalantly. “I mean, at least you’re feeling something right?” She asked as her attention was stolen by something outside the shop.  

Yong Guk knew better than to take her words seriously but he thought into it. He couldn’t help it. Did he feel anything? Was he angry? Was he upset? No matter how much he thought about it, nothing came up because he didn’t feel anything. There was nothing there.

It was just empty. His face, his mind, his heart – there was just emptiness. “What if you don’t feel anything?”

Do Young turned back to look at the man before her. “Being unhappy is a feeling.” She quietly states. “Feeling empty is also a feeling.”

He stared at the girl casually sitting at the counter and kept his face straight. “You’re funny.” She didn’t even know what he was going through or what kind of situation he was in but the way she spoke seemed like she witnessed his entire life.

“I hear that sometimes too.” She shrugged her shoulders and tossed her candy bar wrapper into the waste basket. “But, I don’t really know why or how I am.” She dug into her backpack. “Do you mind if I do my homework here?”

“Do you really care about my permission?” He arched his brow at her. He knew she always went at her own pace.

She shook her head. “Nope.” Even if he had said no, she would have just sat there anyway. “It’s more of an announcement than a permission thing.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He breathes out. He eyes the photo on the side and nostalgic memories flashed through his mind and along with it – it brought flashes of emotions through his body. As fast as it came, it disappeared just as quickly.

And again, he felt…empty.

Yong Guk leaned on the counter to take a look at her assignments. To his surprise, she didn’t take any time to think about what she was writing. She would answer one question and then moved on to the next. He read along and it was strangely written well, despite her lack of care.

He thought back to her words. “So why is feeling empty, also a feeling?” He curiously asked her.

Her attention remained on her homework as she answered him. “Being unable to deal with so many emotions and things at once– it gives off the feeling of emptiness but there is something there. You’re just unable to focus or come to terms with it.”

“So how does someone deal with it?”

Do Young stops writing and looks up. “I guess you need to identify the problem so you can decide what to do from there.” She looks up in thought. “I guess the first step from the magazine wasn’t too bad of an advice after all.”

What was he doing listening to the words of a 17 year old girl? “Where do you get all of these ideas from?” He playfully .

Thinking about it now, she honestly didn’t know, but it wasn’t something that she wanted to rack her brain about. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Yong Guk gave her a look. “Are you trying to say that it’s common sense?”

Do Young takes a second before nodding her head. “Yeah, doesn’t it make sense?” She asked casually.

How was Yong Guk supposed to respond to that? “You’re strange.”

“I also know that.” She answers casually. “That’s just who I am.”

He shrugged his eyebrows. Well, he simply didn’t have a response to that either. She had a knack for that too. Saying things that would leave him speechless.

The bell of the little snack shop rings, signaling a new customer and Yong Guk is once again distracted from his inner turmoil. Exactly what he wanted.

***

Yong Guk sat beside the window in his quiet home and stared outside. He lived in a quiet neighborhood and nothing much goes on, but he found himself doing this all the time. He looked up and focused his attention on the bright stars that were scattered across the night sky.

There wasn’t much there either but he did it anyway. Maybe it was because she used to look outside the window all the time or maybe because she liked looking at the stars and point out the constellation.

Even though she claimed something was there, he didn’t see it so he would often pretend to make her happy. Thinking about it now, he wished he had put more effort into it so that he could experience the same happiness she was feeling and to witness the same sight she was seeing.

Yong Guk reached for his cup of tea. It warmed his hand as he held it up to his lips. He has been drinking the same tea for as long as he could remember. He always had the option to pick another but he never went ahead and did it.

Maybe because it was her favorite tea. The only tea that she drank.

He sighed to himself.

It was always the worst at night.

Night is the time when there wasn’t a shop to run, no Do Young to come bother him…just nothing there to distract him.

Identify the problem.

The words ran through his head. Of course he knew the problem. He wasn’t dumb…he just didn’t want to face it. He missed her. He wanted her back. It was because she isn’t here anymore that he is the mess he is right now. He lets his face fall into his hands and suddenly, the so called feeling of emptiness washed over him again.

It was because of her that he is so empty.

Everything is her fault.

She is the person that took everything with her when she left him. Why did he have to be left with nothing? He didn’t need a lot, he just needed a small piece, just anything to would get rid of this emptiness.

But no matter hard he wishes or prays, the emptiness just never goes away.

Author's Note:

How was it? I'm trying a different type of theme from what I usually write so I hope I didn't disappoint! Please let me know! <3

Thank you for reading!