When I felt like I could take a clear breath again, I woke up with a gasp. The blanket over my head provided shade for my eyes as they fluttered open. I wondered how long I had been asleep?
    Quickly, I took out the phone that I slid underneath my pillow and pressed on the power button. It read six o' clock in the morning - but I wasn't sure if it was the next morning or the next few days or the next week.
    "Miss Jieun?" A servant girl called for me from behind my bedroom doors. In a rush, I got out of bed, dressed myself in a slip kimono, and slid the door open.
    "Yes?" My voice was a little rough, but I would excuse it as a 'morning voice'.
    The servant girl looked at me with relief on her face as if she had come by hundreds of times this morning to wake me up.
    "Is something wrong?" I asked.
    "Nothing, Miss!" She shook her hands and then looked around for a sign of someone. Seeing that there was no one around, she tugged at the sleeve of my kimono. As quietly as she could, she whispered in my ear. "Miss, a man is here to see you!"
    "A man...?" I said out loud.
    "Shh!" She put her hand on my mouth for a moment to silence me, then whispered in my ear again. "It's Kim Jun Myeon-sshi."
    My mind was boggled. He had come all the way here to visit me - knowing that he could get into major trouble if he did. But if he was here, I didn't want to just send him away without saying a word to him myself.
    Thinking about last night, there was so much I felt like I wanted to say.
    "I will be right back." I whispered to the servant girl.
    With speed like the wind, I slid my door shut and rushed to find some decent clothing. I opened up the wardrobe in the corner of my room and searched through the items I had on hand.
    The clothes that turned up only happened to be long dresses that my mother had bought me for my birthday last year. Usually, I wouldn't wear these kinds of things. My father always preferred that I wore hanboks around the house as if it had been the old days.
    Since I was in a rush, I just put on a sand colored dress and covered my shoulders with a large-knit pullover. It didn't matter what I wore anyways.
    After finding myself an outfit, I ran back to the door and slid it open to find the servant girl still waiting. "Take me to him. Quietly."
    She nodded her head and led the way to the main doors of the house. There, she opened them and borrowed me a pair of servant's shoes to wear until the time I returned. "Miss Jieun, please be quick. I don't want you to get into trouble." She looked at me with concern in her eyes, scared of the kind of discipline I would get if I was caught.
    "Don't worry. I'll be back as soon as possible." I promised her before I ran out the doors. It felt nice to walk around in the crispy, morning air. My chest felt empty, so the air rushing inside gave me a fresh feeling.
    As I reached the gates of the family home, I looked around for a sign of him. He didn't seem to be around, but I highly doubt that he had left. I know he wanted to see me.
    "Jun Myeon...?" I whisper-shouted his name and waited for a response. Moments later, I saw him walking toward me from down the street. I could feel a smile growing across my face and my heart was beating faster. My hands uncontrollably waved at him as he got closer. I must have looked like a complete idiot.
    Jun Myeon's angelic smile made the morning sun seem to shine even brighter. He waved back at me, chuckling simultaneously. What was so funny about it? I was just greeting him!
    "Jieun..." His voice was clear, like this morning's air. "I was worried, so I came to see how you were doing."
    "I'm okay!" I exclaimed loudly. Realizing that I was talking too loud, I put my hands over my mouth and looked around to see if anyone had heard that. There didn't seem to be anyone coming around, so I put my hands down.
    Again, Jun Myeon laughed at me. "I'm delighted to see that." His hands found comfort in grabbing mine and he held them tightly together. "Your hands are cold..." Like a real gentleman, he put my hands in his jacket pockets.
    "There we go." His smile looked even better up close.
    I was suddenly speechless. My brain had lost all the questions I wanted to ask him and my body was frozen in place because of his touch. The color of my face changed from its original peach to a light shade of red. Oh gosh, the embarrasment!
    My eyes looked down at the ground (where I didn't have to face him).
    "Is something wrong?" Jun Myeon arched down to look up at my face, which was steaming hot in the chilly morning air. "Your face is a little red. Are you sick too?"
    "N-no!" I looked up at the sky to avoid his eyes. "My face is just bloated!"
    Jun Myeon fixed his stance and chuckled at my excuse.
    His laughter filled my heart to the brim. I smiled along and took my hands out of his jacket pockets. "Jun Myeon..." I started to talk, but somehow, I couldn't find the words to say. I wanted to tell him how excited I was, but I thought it might sound a little lame. My heart was beginning to race again.
    Slowly, Jun Myeon was leaning in to my face. Was he going to kiss me? The closer he got, the faster my heart would beat with those thoughts. The same pain in my chest was happening again, just like last night.
    I shut my eyes tight and hoped for something to ruin the moment.
    And just like I had wished, Jun Myeon's phone buzzed in his pocket. Seeming a little disappointed, he picked up his phone and answered it in a strained voice. "It's me."
    My eyes fluttered open to look at him again. He was looking at the street ahead of him instead of me. Was Jun Myeon embarrassed, by chance?
    "Yes, I understand." He combed his fingers through his hair. "I'll be there immediately. Hold the meeting until I arrive." Looking rather stressed, Jun Myeon hung up his phone and put it in his jacket pocket.
    "Leaving for work?" I asked awkwardly. The moment still hadn't gone away - even if his phone had ruined it.
    "I'll be back for you soon." He smiled that angelic smile again. Softly, he placed his lips on my forehead and left me standing in front of my family home.
    I watched him walk away coolly while I stood here like an idiot. He had all the right moves to leave me breathless. I think if I had the chance, I would go back to him. But there was still Sehyuk to think about. How did I feel about him?
    Wasn't it obvious? Wasn't I reaching more toward Jun Myeon? What was I supposed to tell Sehyuk? Did I like him because he was my first love? Why did he choose to come back only now?
    Too many questions filled my mind with the horrible thoughts of breaking someone's heart to be with someone else. It even broke my heart.
    Again, my throat was starting to close up. I quickly ran back inside the family home, where I was greeted at the entrance by Hansol.
    "Hansol oppa!" I shouted in surprise. "What are you doing up this early?" He was still in his pyjamas, so I figured that he had just woken up.
    "Miss Jieun, who were you out there with?" Hansol's natural brown eyes had me captured. Now there was nowhere to run - unless I came up with a valid excuse.
    "Ah, no one!" I grabbed the sleeves of his shirt and looked him straight in the eyes. "I just thought I saw someone walking in, but it just turned out to be a stray dog!" A moment of silence passed by as our eyes stayed connected.
    "Uh... Okay..." Hansol seemed confused, but he didn't question it. "Well, since I'm already awake, I might as well prepare for the day..." He mumbled to himself while rubbing his tired eyes.
    "Are you working today?" I asked.
    Hansol turned back to me with a worn out expression. "I wish I didn't have to..." With that being said, his feet trudged back to the room where he would suit up for a whole day of work.

    "Sehyuk!" I called as I caught him leaving the house. He was already in his business suit and he seemed to be in a rush.
    "What is it, Jieun?" Sehyuk waited for me to speak as he slipped his feet into some dress shoes. He kept his eyes fixed on me for so long that he accidentally wore two different shoes.
    "You're wearing the wrong shoes." I pointed down at his feet.
    He looked down in surprise. "Ah! Thank you!" Quickly, Sehyuk fixed the mishap and looked at me again. "What was it that you wanted to tell me, Jieun?"
    "Uh..." My left foot shuffled a little as I stood in front of him, a little wordless.
    Sehyuk waited patiently, as if he hadn't even been in a rush in the first place. His eyebrows raised with the anticipation in his head. He pursed his lips inward with the wait.
    "I..." Why weren't the words coming out?
    "Jieun, I don't have much time." Sehyuk looked at the watch on his wrist, then back at me. "Did you just want to go for some coffee later? I need to get to work early to make preparations for a business meeting today."
    "I'll wait then..." It seems that we wouldn't have much time for each other today. I pouted as he bowed and ran out to the company car outside. Would today be a good day to talk with him about how we felt?

    Hours had gone by as I laid in bed to think about how to put it into words that wouldn't hurt him. There was nothing to stare at other than this empty ceiling of mine. Maybe a little fresh air would do.
    Quickly, I slipped out of bed and rushed to the balcony - the one place where I could release everything I felt. Maybe not in words, but as long as the thread in my mind was broken the instant I breathed in the beautiful air, then I was okay.
    Sliding the door to the balcony open, I noticed how much emptier it looked. Had it always looked this way or was it something I was just realizing?
    Either way, I would spend my time sitting out here to think. If I could find the right words, then there was no need to sit here any longer.
    I sat down with the thoughts of wanting to find some words to say. The mere minutes I spent out here didn't do me much either. All I could do was stare at the sky. Every cloud that passed by seemed so relaxed that I started to doze off.
    "Miss Jieun?" A girl servant called for me from the doorway. How had she known where I would be?
    "Yes?" I turned my head to look at her. It seemed like she had urgent news with the way her eyebrows raised.
    "Mister Park Sehyuk is requesting for you at the front entrance." She bowed her head as she backed away from the door, politely allowing me to lead the way there. I had never seen her before, so I assumed that she was new here.
    "Thank you very much." I kindly smiled at her as I kept walking.
    Sehyuk was finally free and I could talk to him about the recent things.
    When I finally got to the entranceway, I noticed Sehyuk waiting there. He seemed impatient, looking at his phone constantly and unable to stand still.
    "If you may." I nodded to the servant girl. After she left me, I walked closer to Sehyuk who had finally set his sights on me.
    "Hey, Jieun!" He opened his arms for an embrace, but I hesitated to follow along with it. "Uhm, okay then." Sehyuk's arms went back down to his sides.
    "Can I--"
    "Let's grab some lunch. I'm feeling hungry." Sehyuk interrupted me as he looked at his phone again, swiping the screen back and forth as he checked for calls or messages.
    "Yeah. That sounds nice." I pursed my lips inward and just began to follow him.
    We climbed into the car sitting outside the house, ready to go at any time necessary. I stayed silent as Sehyuk ordered them to go to a restaraunt. Wherever we were going, it was probably somewhere fancy with lots of food.
    "Jieun?" Sehyuk turned to me.
    "Uh yes?"
    "Never mind. I'll save it until we get there." He looked away again.
    I frowned but he didn't see it. "Okay then..." I was already beginning to get curious about what he wanted to say. When we arrived there and sat down, would we talk about our past? I had never done things like this before. Was this a date?
    There was nothing I could do but twiddle my fingers and think about the endless possibilities. Even Sehyuk didn't seem to talk with me. All that his focus seemed to be on was his phone. I felt completely useless.
    "Ah, here we are." Sehyuk fixed the tie hanging from his collar as he exited the car. "Come on, Jieun. You'll really like the food here." He turned around and put his hand out for mine.
    At first, I only hesitated to grab his hand. For some reason, he was acting differently; more gentlemanly. It had only taken me seconds to decide, but I placed my hand in his. Somehow, it felt like I was putting my trust in him.
    Sehyuk helped me get out of the car and led me into the restaraunt.
    My jaw dropped in amazement as we walked inside. The interior was huge with lots of beautiful decor. Was this even a place to be eating dinner at?
    "Where are we?" I turned to Sehyuk who was greeting the owners of the restaraunt. After doing so, he looked to me with a big grin.
    "Ah, this restaraunt is under a line of my Topp Dogg company. We don't only sell oversea items, but we own various chains and districts of popular tourist areas." Sehyuk scanned the area for a waiter and found one to his liking. "Excuse me, waiter!"
    The waiter walked over to us with his hands clasped together and an excited look on his face. "Yes, Park Sehyuk-sshi? How may I be of service to you today?" When he set eyes on me, his face brightened even more. "Oh! Is this...?"
    "Please... I'm very flattered you think that way, though."
    I could see the way Sehyuk's face became flustered when the waiter looked at me while speaking. He looked like he was interested - in a way that wouldn't involve flinging me.
    "Well, come this way! I have very special seats for the two of you." With a bow, the waiter led the both of us to upstairs a small table next to a window (specifically under Sehyuk's orders). The waiter seated us across the table from each other. "Please be seated! Get comfortable as I go and grab some refreshments for you."
    Leaving the two of us alone, the waiter disappeared behind the doors to the kitchen.
    "What do you think?" Sehyuk's eyes gazed at me curiously. "Is it to your liking?"
    I smiled at him as best as possible. "It's amazing, Sehyuk."
    "I'm glad you like it." His smile looked relieved - as if he had hoped for it.
    Somehow, he seemed sincere about it. I was beginning to feel bad about what I wanted to say today. Was I treating him badly? Was I going to break his heart?
    I swallowed my saliva and tried not to think about it. It made me feel even more guilty.
    Suddenly, the waiter returned with our drinks in hand. Placing each glass in front of us, he kept his smiling act on. "Here are your waters and here are two menus for each of you. Take your time choosing! I'll come back for your order in moments!" After saying those few words, he took off into the kitchen again. He was quite energetic.
    Excited about the foods here, I quickly opened my menu and scanned the list for all the foods I wanted to try. This was my first time coming to a restaraunt and ordering food for myself! It seemed so exciting! So independant!
    "Sehyuk..." I peeked at him over the menu book.
    "Yes?" He replied to his name.
    "What should I order?" I wasn't sure what was good and what I would regret. There were so many more downsides to first time things than I thought there were good things.
    Sehyuk rubbed his chin and scooted closer to me to take a look at my menu (even though our menus were exactly the same). "Hmm.... Well, what kinds of food do you like? Spicy? Sweet? Fried? Oriental? Western?"
    "You know what I've been eating all my life." I laughed as I spoke. "It's no surprise that I wouldn't understand." Before getting married off to Jun Myeon, all that father allowed me to eat were home cooked foods that were full of health beneficiaries.
    "Well, I guess that's true." Sehyuk slid his arm around my shoulders and looked deeply at the menu. In fact, he was so close to me that I felt like he could kiss me. He turned his head and looked me in the eyes. "How about you order one of everything?"
    "Eh!?" I backed away, feeling embarrassed about being so close. "H-how can I do that? Isn't that too much for us to eat?" My eyes looked out the window beside us to avoid his eye contact.
    "That's not a problem! You can bring everything back home with you if you can't finish it." He pulled himself away and retreated to his original seat, looking a little disappointed. "Are you okay with that?"
    "Uhm yeah..." I exhaled a breath as I took my eyes away from the view. "Thank you, Sehyuk..."
    "Sounds great." Again, he grinned. "Waiter!" He shouted to the waiter from earlier.
    "Ready to order?" The waiter scurried over to our table to serve us immediately.
    Sehyuk took both of our menus and smiled at the boy. "Yes. We'll just order one small serving of every item here. You see, this is Miss Jieun's first time here and I want her to sample every item on the menu until she's found something she likes."
    At first, the waiter seemed a little baffled. I do admit, the request sounded silly. But after Sehyuk gave him a large roll of money, the waiter boy's face lit up like it had before. "Anything for you, Park Sehyuk-sshi!" After accepting Sehyuk's offer, he ran into the kitchen again.
    I guess the only thing he was so excited about was money.
    Focusing back on me, Sehyuk continued to converse. "I'm sure you're ecstatic about being at a restaraunt for the first time. In fact, ordering for yourself too." His hands curled together on the part of the table in front of him. "Your father's been very strict about you and the way you were brought up."
    "Yeah..." We laughed together about that. It was a nice feeling, the two of us. Somehow, I felt like it was a good time. "Uhm, Sehyuk?"
    "Here is the first half of all your dishes!" The waiter interrupted my question with the delicious smelling dishes in front of us. Plate after plate, he placed in front of me on the table. "These are all very delicious and I know you'll absolutely love them, Miss Jieun."
    "Ah... Thank you..." I sighed after the waiter left. I wondered if it was bad to ask? Every time I wanted to say it, I was bothered by something. Was it like an instant karma?
    "Did you say something, Jieun?" Sehyuk's eyebrows raised as he looked at me. "Is something the matter?"
    "No, it's nothing." I smiled. "I just need to go to the restroom quickly."
    "Okay, go on." Sehyuk smiled back at me. He didn't know. He didn't understand yet.
    I got out of my seat and ran to the bathroom. For a few minutes, I stood there - looking at myself in the mirror and thought about it. Thought about telling Sehyuk that I loved Jun Myeon. But did I love him? Why was I doubting myself already? Was it that I didn't understand my own feelings?
    The reflection in the mirror frowned at me. Her eyes looked tired, exhausted almost. Her eyes were filled with worry. She looked like a fool.
    "You're not a fool, Jieun! You can do it!" I swallowed my saliva and went back to Sehyuk. I would definitely tell him this time. No holding back. Instant karma allowed.
    Sehyuk set his eyes on me as I walked toward him. My hands curled into fists. I felt like I was ready to take on the world alone. "Sehyuk!" I shouted his name when I reached the table, standing straight in front of him with my brand new confidence.
    "Jieun, can I ask you something?" He looked at me, concerned. I didn't have time to let him speak. I wanted to say what I wanted.
    "Sehyuk, I--"
    "Are you pregnant?" He jumped in.
    My eyes grew wide and my hands unclenched themselves. "What... What are you talking about...?" I looked down at my stomach and then back at him. "Why are you asking me if I'm pregnant?"
    "No reason. I'm just curious." He rubbed his chin. "You seem to be going to the bathroom a lot. You look like you're always tired these days. And you're not talking too much either. Were you hiding it from me?"
    Then, a lightbulb went on in my head. "....If I said I was...?"
    "Well, I don't think your father would want you to keep it..." Sehyuk bit his lip, thinking about the consequences of pregnancy. "Should we say that it's from me, so you can keep it?"
    The lightbulb buzzed to a stop after he asked. "I'm not pregnant, Sehyuk."
    "Oh." He looked out the window at the view. "That's disappointing..."
    "What's that supposed to mean?" I was suddenly getting angry at his behavior. Why was he acting like this? It seemed different from the Sehyuk that I was just talking to before I went to the bathroom. "You're disappointed that I'm not pregnant?"
    "It's not like that, Jieun..." He sighed heavily and then got out of his seat to help me sit down. After doing so, he got down on one knee in front of me and held my hand. "Jieun... Sometimes, our situations in this world take an unexpected turn. Here and there, a few wrong turns can go bad. And other times, the right turns can go well. I want to be the kind of person that only lets you have good turns in life. I don't want you to go through any sort of pain in order to get what you want."
    I was confused. What was he talking about?
    Slowly, Sehyuk reached his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it - revealing a beautiful, shiny ring with a large diamond planted in the middle.
    I gasped at the sight of it. Somehow, this scared me. My hands were shaking and my mind became filled with even more questions.
    "Lee Jieun, will you marry me?"