The day before Jaejoong had his revelation had started out pretty normal. They weren't working that day, so they had decided to get together. Nothing about the day would have prepared Jaejoong for his surprise later that night.

...

Woo stopped to look back at his father. The baby giggled and then hurried up to race away on his hands and knees, screaming as if he was scared but really just laughing very loudly. Jaejoong chased behind him, keeping a close distance and pretending he was trying hard to catch him, even occasionally reaching with an arm that would only slip on one of the baby’s feet. 

Lydia watched the antics from her cosy spot on the sofa. She was laughing too. It was an amazing feeling to see her Linked One play so happily with their son. Jaejoong had lots of practice with kids due to his many nephews and nieces and it really showed how much he loved children. She knew he still worried because he had no mental link with his son. However, from what Lydia could see, Jun Woo practically didn’t notice that absence. The baby adored his father. 

Jun Woo was racing around the chaise longue to escape his father. Lydia started to smile. Yunho was hiding behind that. And sure enough, Yunho jumped up and made a lot of noise. Jun Woo loved the surprise and laughed even louder. Now he had to run from two people. 

The timer in the kitchen went off. Lydia got up and went to check on lunch. They were having Jaejoong’s friends over. Ever since everyone was back, the group had become united again. The strange awkwardness was gone. Much of it had been Jaejoong’s unacceptance of Yunho. However, the two had managed to achieve an equilibrium between being friends and having a physical relationship. 

Lydia took a peak of the living room. Jun Woo was in Jaejoong’s arms and Yunho was playing hide and seek with the baby who was laughing almost continuously. She enjoyed finding excuses to leave the two men alone. She knew that Jaejoong was oblivious to it but when they were alone and relaxed, they behaved much more like a Linked Pair. They would seek each other, hold hands and even kiss. She wondered if Yunho was aware they did that.

Outside, a great shadow enveloped the garden, announcing Actor’s arrival with Changmin and Yoochun. Another tricky couple that was now obviously in love with each other. The between the two was palpable at all times and it wasn't unheard of for Changmin or Yocchun to just to grab the other and take off to be alone. Lydia was sure than Yunho and Jaejoong were very close to being the same now that her Linked One no longer struggled with his attraction to the taller man. 

When Junsu and Sarah arrived, Lydia served lunch and everyone joined her on the dining room. Yunho stayed at the door still looking over at the living room. Lydia went to check. Jaejoong was lying with a very sleepy Jun Woo on his shoulder. 

-I think we tired him.

-Good job, Yunho. A sleeping Jun Woo is always good. He’s giving off an incredible sense of contentment. 

-I don’t feel anything from Jun Woo but it’s plain to see. Jae seems very relaxed too. I don’t think he wants to move. 

-Let’s let them be for a while. Soon Jaejoong’s stomach will convince him to come and eat. 

As Lydia turned back, there was a spick from Jun Woo. The words “play” kept repeating on a loop inside his mind. He seemed even happier than before. Strangely, she was sure the boy wasn’t referring to his recent playing with his father and Yunho. 

Yunho held a chair for Lydia and she went to site down, smiling at him. She liked having Yunho around. Without The Connection from Jaejoong to link them, they were just awkward acquaintances at first but now they were fast becoming good friends. Besides, Yunho was very easy on the eyes and fantastic with Jun Woo. It was no trouble at all having him around.

When Jaejoong finally found the courage to put Jun Woo in his bed, he joined everyone and immediately started bantering with Changmin. 

…

Sarah looked around the table and laughed again. Her face was hurting from laughing so much. This was one of those moments when she looked back on what her life had been before and what it was now. She preferred the now much more. It was better than any of her wildest dreams, even the more ambitious ones. 

Junsu hugged her and gave her a soft kiss. That kept her from losing it and almost crying in front of everyone. An overwhelming sense of gratitude and of just feeling so damn lucky had threatened to have her eyes tearing up. She still had trouble believing she was now an equal half of a Linked Pair, as if she was born in Lhara. 

Sarah stole a glance at Jaejoong. They had shared her theory with him. Jaejoong had been very happy for her but there just didn’t seem to be a way to make him believe he could recover. The small improvements he had so far appeared to be all he thought he’d get. And no one wanted to fake a stressful situation to try and shock the dragon water to do more. 

“Don’t fret. You know Yunho is still trying to convince him.”

“Ok, ok. It’s just that now that I know what it is like to be connected like this, I understand better why Jaejoong felt and feels so isolated without it.”

“He is better. I can sense he’s very happy and relaxed. Just look at him. And even better, the way he looks at Yunho now is almost the same way as he looks at Lydia.”

…

Yoochun was increasingly suspicious that Changmin would demand their own child one of these days. The snarky man had grown quite attached to Jun Woo. Yoochun always wondered how Changmin would deal with the revelation that The Connection had chosen him to be the mather. They continued to hide that from everyone, even their parents. Which made everything quite awkward. Their parents were back at nagging them to have kids. They were always flying off on some spaceship to stay away from family dinners. There were only so many questions of “when are you having kids” that one can take. What was worse, the advice had recently turned to a more ual nature as if their parents suspected them of not doing it right. It was mortifying. 

Changmin picked up on Yoochun’s line of thought and squeezed his knee. A lunch date with their friends was just what they needed after last night’s dinner with both their parents. He shuddered. His father had tried to ask him… 

Changmin looked at Yoochun for a moment. His Linked One was still a surprise for him. Yoochun had taken him to find Actor the second they escaped their parents and just held him. He felt much better now about being the future mather but the pressure always got to him. What was worst was that hiding the real dynamic of their relationship for so long, now made it all even more awkward. A part of him still wished the roles could be reversed even if he now understood the wisdom of the stronger one being the carrier. 

Yoochun jumped a little at Changmin’s last thought. He had realised something during his journey. A rather obvious small detail. He still hadn’t shared it with his Linked One, unsure if he wanted to pursue that. However, his guilty conscience kept telling him he knew exactly what he wanted to do for Changmin. 

…

Yunho stretched on one of the sofas after their big lunch. It felt great being together with his friends. It felt even better to feel accepted inside Jaejoong’s and Lydia’s house. There was a different dynamic now. He was no longer a chore than Jaejoong scheduled. Whenever Lydia had to stay away because of work or simply because she wanted to visit her parents, Jaejoong would come and stay with him. Often, Jun Woo stayed behind with Jaejoong and on those occasions, it was Yunho who would come over. He had been surprised to find he had his own room waiting for him in Jaejoong’s house. 

Jaejoong still didn’t initiate any ual contact but he seemed always very interested and more than willing. The bigger difference, however, in Yunho’s opinion, was that his Linked One was now more relaxed around him and he could even hug him and kiss him with fewer fears of rejection. 

…

Later that night, Lydia and Jun Woo had left. Jaejoong went with Yunho to the house on the forest’s edge. Jaejoong was a bit thoughtful. He kept experiencing a strange unexplained prickle of happiness that didn’t seem to be his own. He chastised himself. Junsu and Sarah had spent the entire afternoon with him and yet he kept quiet. 
Yunho sensed that Jaejoong was rather distant and distracted. He always felt scared when Jaejoong got like that and afraid that things might go back to how they used to be. He did what he always did in these occasions. He ravished Jaejoong. He laid his soul bare as he pleasured the man he loves. He didn’t stop until Jaejoong was out of his mind and completely his in the moment. 

…

Jaejoong woke up startled by the strange feeling. Yunho moved in his sleep, lowering his arm down Jaejoong’s body and settling it around the small waist with a content sleepy sigh. Suddenly that strange feeling of happiness overcame Jaejoong again. He stared confused and a little scared. In all his life, even during the few days he had been under the effects of The Connection he had never felt anything like this. Slowly he realised it was Yunho’s arm around his belly that was making him go all haywire. He even felt a stupid smile wanting to take over his face. What on Lhara was happening? The fluttering in his belly continued. It was almost as if he had a little bird in there. Then it hit him!

…

Jaejoong was overwhelmed with shock for several minutes. He knew it could happen but it was different knowing it had happened. The fluttering feeling got stronger as if acknowledging the recognition. The shaky man placed his own hand over his belly next to where Yunho’s arm was. The fluttering feeling got even happier. Jaejoong couldn’t help the smile on his face. 

“Hi, there. I can feel you.”

The happiness that invaded him was so powerful he almost jumped up to laugh before he realised that part of that feeling wasn’t his, it was his baby inside him. Jaejoong felt a tear slide down his face. He rubbed that lone tear but soon others followed. The fluttering became almost like a cat purr trying to comfort him. 

“I’m ok, baby. Mather is just happy to meet you. I didn’t know I would be able to hear you. I’m so happy to be able to feel you. So happy. Oh, Lhara! I’ve been so alone inside my own head. I even miss my sisters’s chatter. I can hear you. Thank you, Lhara. Thank you!”

Jaejoong cried unable to stop. Until this moment he hadn’t realised how alone he felt without The Connection and the telepathic links. He couldn’t even feel his friends, his family or his dragon which had nothing to do with Linked Ones. It was surprising that he could feel his unborn child, especially since he couldn’t hear Jun Woo. A little thought seemed to cross his mind, words unformed but he understood it.

“You can talk with your brother? So that’s what I’ve been feeling. Will you tell him I love him too? Ohhh, thank you, baby. You have no idea how precious you are.”

Jaejoong continued to silently cry in happiness, comforted by the tiny fluttering of his son. 

…

Yunho woke up sensing something amiss, something different. He could feel silent sobs wracking Jaejoong’s body and he kept his eyes closed not knowing what was happening. Why was Jaejoong crying? It made him want to scream to feel the other man this distraught. He unconsciously moved his arm that was hugging his Linked One’s waist, trying to send some kind of comfort. Then he sensed it.

A sort of hello, a low happy hum, like a distant bird song. Yunho lifted his head in surprise. He was feeling a little confused but hopeful and anxious. It couldn’t be, could it? A happy singsong answered him. Yunho was suddenly flooded with happiness, it was as if he could float. He was going to be a father!

But just as suddenly as the happiness overcame him, it left him the second he wondered why Jaejoong was crying. Fear gripped his heart. He slowly looked up at the other man, sitting against the headboard, who still had tears on his wet cheeks. Was his Linked One crying because he didn’t want this relationship? Didn’t want their son and how a son would forcefully connect them even more and forever? Yunho placed his hand on Jaejoong’s flat belly, wanting to send his love to his unborn son and waited, his heart beating wild while the man he loved so much just stared at him. 

…

It was his baby’s confusion and reading of his father’s mood that helped Jaejoong understand Yunho’s strange expression. Fear. He had rarely seen that expression on the taller man’s face. Yunho was fearful of his reaction. Jaejoong had a moment of self-guilt, when he wondered if he was really still behaving that badly towards one of the people he loved the most. Just not the way he wants to be loved, Jaejoong admitted to himself with a sigh. And apparently he had been behaving so badly that Yunho even feared he wasn’t happy for their son. 

The baby purred excitedly trying to get his father’s attention but the man’s eyes never left his Linked One’s face, even if Jaejoong could feel the warm hand gently caressing his belly in a cooing gesture. The older man couldn’t help but smile at Yunho’s sneaky hand gesture. And at how loving that gesture was. He didn’t need his baby telling him how happy Yunho was to become a father and how much he already loved his son. He knew his friend since they were kids themselves. He knew just how great a father he would be. How he would be an even better father than the loving older brother and friend he had always been. Jaejoong chuckled trying to prevent more tears from flooding his eyes. His older son also loved having Yunho around. 

Yunho’s face changed slowly to a surprised expression, hope dancing in his eyes. Then Jaejoong fully smiled, smiled brightly and put his own hand on top of Yunho’s. The tall man’s breath caught in his throat and it was his turn to nearly cry. He even forgot about his son for a few seconds. He had never seen Jaejoong smile like that, never seen him so happy that he shined, not even when he first flew with his dragon or told him Lydia was pregnant. 

Yunho sighed softly trying to get some needed oxygen. Trying to stay calm. He fell in love with Jaejoong all over again because of that smile. 

-Yunho, I can feel him. He is so happy to finally be able to chat with us.

-You can feel him? But… Oh, Jaejoongie, that’s wonderful. I didn’t know you’d be able to do that.

-Me neither. 

Soon Jaejoong was laughing, making Yunho laugh with him too. They were giddy with happiness, their son connecting them and showing them how happy all three of them were. Both men turned their full attention on their baby, cooing over him. 

…

-Oh, Lhara! I’m so happy I don’t even know how to explain it to you.

-You don’t need to, Joongie. I see it.

Yunho cupped Jaejoong’s face lovingly and when he realised he was doing it he nearly removed it. His Linked One still sometimes shied away from physical contact, even if now it occurred less often. Jaejoong only fully surrendered without any barriers when they were in bed making love. But even then the void caused when Jaejoong had lost The Connection was still between them. Yunho knew his childhood friend had surrendered to the evidence that they were linked but his feelings still remained just as a friend or worse, since he suspected they were tainted with guilt. Guilt for hurting Yunho and guilt for the pleasure that lust brought him. He wondered if having their son acting as a way of communicating feelings between them would help. That gave him only a few blue cycles to make Jaejoong fall in love with him. 

Jaejoong welcomed Yunho’s hand on his face with a soft smile and leaned into it. It was bliss being aware of how his friend was really feeling after cycles of only guessing. It wasn’t anywhere near having The Connection again but it was wonderful having his son showing him what little he could feel.

Yunho stared in awe at how Jaejoong’s beautiful smile still lightened his entire face. He wondered if the smiling man was aware that he was leaning against his hand on his cheek. Jaejoong seemed to suddenly feel perfectly at ease and comfortable with him, even forgetting that under the sheets, covering them up to their waists, they were still and sweaty. 

…

Jaejoong rubbed his belly slowly, feeling his son happily falling asleep. The baby sent his parents another shared flutter of what they were all feeling and then surrendered to his mather’s movements. Jaejoong leaned his weight fully into Yunho’s welcoming arms and loved how the man immediately hugged him and their son. He sighed in contentment, a soft smile still on his lips. Sometime later, complete silence finally enveloped him again, his baby sleeping and silent, no more flutter, no more shared feelings. However, this time Jaejoong knew he wasn’t alone, he had his son. 

The happy man turned a little in Yunho’s arms, searching for extra warmth. Their eyes met. Jaejoong’s breath got caught in his throat and his heart went a little crazy. The look on Yunho’s eyes was intense, so intense it burned him. It was even more intense than that fateful day. His lips parted in surprise. Yunho remained immobile, simply holding him and looking at him deeply. Jaejoong sighed and almost squirmed under that gaze. He grew a little exasperated. Yunho was just looking at him. He needed more. Wanted more. 

Impatient he grabbed Yunho and pulled him in for a deep long kiss, suddenly very much aware that they were still and that their skin was touching. 

Yunho thought he was dreaming. Jaejoong had never initiated a kiss. He moaned against the arms and lips making him drown, his own hands more than eager to touch soft warm skin. Lhara, he loved this man too much. Soon, they were making love in a way they had never done before. Normally, Yunho would have to mercilessly tease Jaejoong until he lost his mind and responded to him. This time it was his Linked One searching for skin, asking for hands on his body, kissing non-stop and looking more beautiful than ever as he came undone in Yunho’s arms. 

One more thing was different but Yunho had no way of knowing it and Jaejoong didn’t realise it, too happy and to process what he was feeling. Jaejoong had one more fluttering feeling, only this time it was in his own heart. 

…





..........................................................................................................................................................

OBS:
Well, it felt like forever and a day until I finally reached this part. The part about Jaejoong feeling his unborn son is written for a long time already. I can't believe so much time has passed. I wrote that part on paper at a temp job in England. This was around May of... let's see. I wasn't even dreaming of becoming pregnant yet. I was preparing for my wedding in August and for moving houses in the end of May. So, 2014. It's 2016 now!
Damn, damn, double damn, triple damn!
I started posting Connections on 20-April-2014. I wrote a few things forward. I sometimes do that. Write a scene that I know I want for sure and then have to build up until I finally reach it. But from May 2014 until April 2016 is a bit much. It just makes me realize how lucky I was to complete Where Were You in nearly one year. Connections is a smaller fic and is taking me longer to write! I better not even think of Smack of Love and Wanna Dance. *hides in shame*
Anyway...
A few notes on this fluterry feeling. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to describe the feeling of pregnant. It always surprised me, the times I re-read this waiting for the time I'd finally be able to include it, how it sort of feels accurate. It is this strange sense of something off but not in a bad way. When you finally think that maybe you're pregnant, even before taking the test there's this certainty, like you just know. And when the baby gets bigger and starts to move it's weird but fantastic. Then it really is like a flutter, bird wings or something. You can't feel alone when pregnant.

Ok, now I finally got my characters at a different stage! Uffa! Junsu and Sarah are pretty much wrapped up, unless you count Junsu teasing Sarah. Yoochun has discovered something, more like realised it. The journey was good for him, opening his way of thinking to things outside how Lhara works. He has one big surprise for Changmin. Changmin is gonna love it!!!! And Jaejoong is taking big steps to get better and be happy with Yunho. Now, I haven't got one single word written ahead. From now on, all still floating in the brain. And it's gonna be time for some... action?
Oh, as for ... I know, I know. But I don't have much time to write so I'm leaving the for better future days. Ok? Am I forgiven?