--

"Key? Kibum-ah, are you alright?" 

I blink. When did I get on the floor? Strong arms support my back as I struggle to support myself.

Someone's touching you.
They're feeling how big you are.

"Don't...I can support myself." I murmur, to no one in particular.
Pushing myself up, I lean against a wall. 

"Key, you passed out. Drink some water, it'll make you feel better."

You passed out, you freaking fainted.
Weak, disgusting. 
Can't even handle a photoshoot, what's wrong with you?
I swallow the water, suddenly realising how parched my throat feels. The liquid soothes it some, takes away the dryness and the pain.

"Feeling better?" Jonghyun asks. "You must've gotten dehydrated during the shoot, why didn't you tell us you were feeling unwell?"

"I was okay, I just got tired and then..."
And then what? 
And then you collapsed. You fell. Your legs weren't strong enough to hold up your fat body. 
You're repulsive, really.

"And then...?" Jonghyun presses.

I shrug. "Then I ended up here."

He smiles. "Rest for a bit, okay, the managers said we'll continue when you feel better." Patting me on the shoulder, he gets up moves away, the rest of the members follow, saying they'll leave me to take a break. 

He doesn't know how much the touches unsettle me.
Don't touch me, I'm fat.
--

Rounded figure, puffy cheeks. 
Huge.

Run, run it all off.

I push myself, sprint as fast as possible, widen the distance between Jonghyun and I.

"Hey, wait up!" He catches up, puffing. "Are you trying to show me how short my legs are compared to yours?"

"Yeah, maybe."
Just like how you showed me how fat I was compared to you. 

You can't blame him for showing you the truth.

"Well, you being short is true, too."

"Huh?" 

"Nothing, sorry." 

"Why are you so hyper today, did you drink coffee or something, you didn't use to run this far."
Coffee contains calories, of course not. I didn't use to run this far because I I didn't realise I was this fat.

"No, hyung, I just have a lot of energy to burn. You can go back first, I want to go a little further."
A lot of calories to burn.

"Don't over exhaust yourself, I don't want you fainting again." He turns and leaves, starting to jog back to the dorm.

As I watch him leave, somehow, it hurts. He didn't stay, didn't run with me.  Didn't care.
Who would care about you, really. You're huge, flabby, heavy. You should be glad that people actually dare to associate themselves with you. Overjoyed that you haven't yet lost your job. You aren't worth any form of care. You're not worth it.

a/n: it looks like this story is going to drag on for longer than I expected. I hope you don't get too bored with this series of y updates.