I was lost for words and didn’t want to believe what I wanted to believe. It sounded weird because I didn’t know if I could handle another feeling of hope, only to have it shattered again. My heart went on a rampage in my stomach tied into a knot filling me with nausea. I wanted to know and I wanted to understand the situation but I couldn’t bring myself to raise my hopes again. 

“Answer me, babe.” I heard him chuckled softly. “Don’t go silent on me like that.”

That was it. That was all it took to break me. My feelings kicked in and I began sobbing silently into the phone, feeling my chest contract and by eyes growing hot. I hadn’t yet said a word to him and neither has he but we were just on the phone together listening to me cry. But then I heard Yongguk sniffle on the other line and knew that he was also crying. 

“Hi, um I-“ I stuttered and my voice nasally with a blocked nose from all the crying. “How are- What have- Yong-“ 

I stuttered on my words and couldn’t think of one thing to say to Yongguk that would have fit the situation at the time. I wanted to hear him speak so badly. To hear him chuckle and to almost feel him smile even through the phone. I wanted to say so many things to him. Tell him that I’ve graduated,  tell him about my parents and about-

“I miss you so bad.” Yongguk said. 

I shut my eyes at the sound of his low voice and craved for another word. Any other word that would allow me to hear his voice that I missed so much. 

“Me too.” I said. “I missed you like crazy. Where have you been?” 

“Healing.” Yongguk said casually and I could almost feel him smile. “Two bullets in the back aren’t  easy to recover from.” 

I winced imagining the pain he must have been in when he was healing. The amount of sleepless nights he must have had from the pain. I gripped tightly onto the phone and felt my craving for him multiply in ways that I couldn’t have imagined. I wanted to see him, to touch him and to physically feel that he was still with me. 

“Where are you?” I said. “I’ll come see you.” 

“I’m at my apartment. Eating.” he chuckled sheepishly at his answer.” 

“Give me your address and I’ll come right away.” I told him, rushing around the house to find pen and paper.

“It’s late. You should get some sleep. Meet me tomorrow.” Yongguk said. “I’ll text you my address tomorrow morning.” 

I didn’t want to wait until the next day. I was scared that he would disappear from me again. I didn’t want to lose him a second time because one time was enough pain. I had only gotten him back from a short time and I didn’t want it to end so soon. I was afraid of not being able to hear his voice again. 

“But I can’t Yongguk. I finally have you back, I don't want to lose you again. What if I lose you like I did before.” I started panicking. “What if you-“

“Do you still trust me?” he said softly. 

I stopped to take a breath from my rambling and answered his question. 

“Yes.” I said quickly without a second thought. “I do. Of course.” 

“Then trust me, babe.” he smiled. “Get some rest tonight and meet me tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” I exhaled and breath and tried calming myself. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, I guess.” 

“I love you.” Yongguk whispered. 

A shiver went down my spine and my desire and craving to see him doubled. I let his voice play in my head for a while before replying. 

“I love you too, Yongguk. A lot. I love you a lot.” I said. 

I hung up the phone and sighed. I gripped the phone to my chest, as if I was hugging Yongguk and just stood there, in the middle of Daehyun’s kitchen. I had to go through the events again to reassure myself that I wasn’t dreaming and most of all to make sure that I wasn’t going crazy. I got the water jug from the fridge to pour myself a glass of water. 

“Yongguk’s back.” I whispered to myself as a way of reminding me. “He’s back.” 

I suddenly bursted into a round of silent giggles. I laughed and laughed until tears fell out of my eyes and then I began sobbing. The sudden change of mode made me realize how much I’ve missed him and how happy I was to have him back. 

I settled into my own bed that night. I couldn’t bear sleeping next to Daehyun, it would have been unfair for the both of them. Both Yongguk and Daehyun. I put the phone right next to my pillow so if Yongguk did text, I’d check it right away. I lay there the entire night, turning from one side of the bed to the other. I barely got a wink of sleep and the anxiety in my stomach was eating at my insides. 

Laying in bed at six in the morning with an arm resting against my head, I stared at the ceiling and waited for time to pass. I was hoping that Yongguk would text before Daehyun woke up because I didn’t think that I could face him. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t tell him that Yongguk was back. He would be arrested. Daehyun was still a policeman and as much as I hated to say it, Yongguk was still the criminal in his eyes. 

My phone vibrated at about eight when I had accidentally drifted off into a light sleep. The text message contained a morning greeting and Yongguk’s address. I smiled, all drowsiness wiped away from eyes as I sprung out of bed to get ready. 

Before I left, I wrote Daehyun a note and stuck it on the fridge: 

“I’m going out to look for a job and running some errands. My phone’s dead, won’t be able to answer your calls. If I’m late, don’t wait up. Bye :)”

I looked at the the note and felt my stomach knot with guilt. But I pushed that feeling aside and replaced it with the excitement of being able to meet Yongguk. I quickly took my car keys from the bench and tried to sneak out of the house as quietly as possible. 

The drive to Yongguk’s apartment was one of the most nerve wrecking drives I’ve ever had, if not, the most nerve wrecking. I worried that the months have turned me into someone not as he remembered and that he wouldn’t like me anymore. Or that he would freak and kick me out once I told him why I was wearing the ring on my finger. I could lie to Daehyun but I couldn’t lie to Yongguk. I had to come clean. 

Stand outside his apartment door, I took a deep breath and tried to knocked on the door. But with my shaky knuckles, the knock came out quiet and nearly audible. I tried again and waited nervously as I heard shuffling from the other side of the door. The door slowly opened and I held my breath, trying to contain the jumpy feeling in my stomach. 

The door opened and Yongguk came into view with his smile that I couldn’t have ever forgotten. I stood there in his doorway, trying to breathe and trying to remind myself that it was all real. That everything that was happening was real. 

Yongguk had gotten skinnier than I remembered and I bit my lip, seeing that him being super skinny was unhealthy. His hair was still dark dark black, just a little longer than it used to be. He didn’t have a clean shave but had little stubbles instead. I stared at him silently in awe, not knowing what to do. 

“Hi.” I finally whispered. 

“Hi.” he smiled back. 

I stepped forward and touched his face, cupping it in both my hands. I felt his stumble against my palm and I let my thumb caress his face. Running over his lips, and up to his cheek bones as I stared into his eyes. Yongguk lifted a hand and touched my hair, tucking it behind my ear. 

“You cut your hair.” he whispered. 

He leaned down and rested his forehead on mine. With his face still cupped in my hands, I felt his hot breath against my lips and closed my eyes. 

“Maybe we should go inside.” Yongguk cleared his throat. 

I pulled away from him and realized that we were still outside and showing affection wasn’t something that I wanted his neighbors to see. He held my hand and lead me into his house, closing the door behind us. As I stepped inside my house, I instantly recognized the smell. The smell of his cologne and cigarettes lingered in his apartment, reminding me of our old apartment. 

“You’ve gotten so skinny.” Yongguk said, inspecting me. 

“You too.” I said, feeling his ribs clearly through his t-shirt as I held onto his waist. 

Suddenly, Yongguk pulled me into a hug. He brought me into his arms that I fit so well in, as if we were made to fit together. I circled my arms around his waist and rested my head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat like I always did when we hugged. 

“Where have you been?” I asked, tears forming from the overwhelming feeling in my chest. 

“Rehab. I had to learn how to walk again.” Yongguk said, fixing my hair. “As I said, bullets in the back aren’t simple.” 

“Are you okay now?” I asked. 

“Better than ever. I could probably run a marathon now.” Yongguk laughed.

I smiled and stood on my tip toes to plant a kiss onto his lips. As his lips were on mine, I felt my world was complete again. I felt like I had everything again. The feeling of his lips on mine after six months was so right but somewhat foreign. Yongguk gripped onto my hips and kissed me. I felt the desperation in his lips, as if wanting to make up for everything. But I had never been mad at him to forgive him. 

I had my everything back.

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Another update to make up for the other late update. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the story and please continue to comment and subscribe. Thank you so much.