“I’m Kai. It’s nice to meet you,”

‘The CEO of BWCW is Jongin? Jongin is…Kai?’

Sehun stiffened, all the bittersweet that flashed behind his eyes faded away but appeared in front of him – the smile, the tan skin, the voice and the face of the person that stood in front of him right then and there resembled the guy that he once loved and the love for Jongin was still there in his heart but the person has gone to another world – leaving him alone. The time seemed to stop, the crowds that were rustling in and out of the lobby froze and the world was spinning. Like how in the world the dead person exists to greet him with another name? How he could even smile warmly after he left the blonde for six months lived in the sorrowful world? And why did the person suddenly come when he was in the process of trying to move on and forget all the painful memory with Kim Jongin? Thousands of question lingered in his mind. The answer was there but he couldn’t figure it out by himself.

There were a few differences – the Kai guy was a bit taller than him and quite fashionable with tight black skinny jeans and white shirt with the light blue cardigan – brunette hair spike, firmly gelled up and his left ear pierced with a heart-shaped earring. His smile brighter than Jongin, perhaps it was because he wasn’t suffered from leukemia anymore and moving on his life with a big company that produced tons of fashionable clothes with the brand of BWCW. But he was dead; the guy had left him right in front of his eyes and in his arms, with the funeral – grave etcetera, just how he managed to show up after his death? And his name confused the milky guy – What’s with Kai? Why did he suddenly change his name? Everything was so confusing to him and he needed to know whether it was really his Jongin or someone others.

Sheena slowly her heels when she noticed that Kai was now turning his gaze to look at someone others behind her only to be greeted with a pale face of Oh Sehun. She knew that it might be shocking news to her CEO but the person was already there and he was then facing him. She knew everything that happened to the milky-skinned guy’s life since she was his personal assistant and also a best friend to him – the only best friend the milky guy had after Jongin’s death.

“Oh, uh – Mr. Oh, finally you’re here. Meet Kai, the CEO of BWCW and Kai, this is my boss – Mr. Oh Sehun,” Sheena introduced – calling the tanned only by his name because the brunette didn’t really love to be called as Mister – but Sehun seemingly didn’t buy it, instead he stepped closer to the tanned guy – she frowned, wondering of what her best friend would do.

Sehun slowly brought his hands up and cupped the brunette’s face while the other was frowning and blinked his eyes in surprised. He has no idea why the milky guy suddenly acted like he was a certain someone that the other loved. Staring deeply inside his brown orbs with glassy eyes and his face plastered with sadness – those eyes were filled with hope and he could see that there was no smile in the other eyes. The most confusing was when the Oh Sehun guy started to shed tears and sniffled. Caressing his face gently and soft then he heard the guy addressed him as Jongin. Who’s Jongin? He thought to himself.

Sehun had yearned to touch the brunette’s soft skin for a long time – six months weren’t long for the normal human being but for him, the guy that lived in the darkness without a person that brought his soul away from his body and filled him with emptiness after he left. The way Kai stared at him was just the same like Jongin’s and he believed that it was his Kim Jongin – his one and only bright smile. The sweet memories flashing behind his eyes as he closed his eyes in a brief second then opened it again just to look at the handsome guy in front of him.

 “Jongin-ah…” Sehun called with a soft voice – leaning in to plant a kiss on the brunette’s cheek before the guy slowly shoved him away.

“Uh – I’m sorry but – but I’m Kai, not Jongin?” Kai said – half-question.

“No… you’re Kim Jongin right?” Sehun mumbled – tears kept on rolling down his cheeks.

“Uh – sorry Kai, perhaps he was a bit tired,” Sheena faked a smile and grabbed Sehun’s arm – pulling him a few feet away and she whispered to his ear, “Sehun, control your feels. I know what’s inside you but please calm a bit down. I don’t even know that he resembles your lover that much but”

“But he’s him, isn’t he?” He asked.

Sheena let out a heavy sigh and muttered, “I have no idea, but we’ll find it out later, okay? Now c’mon, get down to earth, we need to end this appointment as soon as possible before you get unconscious,”

A year earlier:

Underneath the moon’s bright beam, the stars magically danced which made him wonder – was that a dream or merely just a trance? He wiped his eyes so that he could see that it was happening before him, then he realized – awake or not the case the moon really had a face that made him smiled widely gazing up the sky with full of awe.

Lying on the grass as the floor and the beautiful night sky as the ceiling were so breath taking with the person that he stated the guy as his bright smile was enough to make him feels that he didn’t need tomorrow – it was enough for him by just lying on the grass under the moonlight with a guy named Kim Jongin next to him, made his smile brighter and heart flooded with beautiful love blossom.

With the glistening night sky, the stars shone bright – irradiating gorgeousness in the dark, Jongin asked, “Do you like the show?”

“I do,” Turning his gaze to look at the person next to him – Sehun leaned closer and rested his chin on the other’s chest with fingers running amidst the brunette’s soft locks, he muttered a ‘thank you’ to Jongin.

The brunette threw a wide grin at him and pinched his nose which made him giggled then said, “It’s my pleasure and please do not stop smiling though it’s on the day that I have to leave you.”

The smile faded away – feeling a slight pang on his chest, he got off the brunette, sitting up on the grass, pulling his knees closer to his chest and sighed. The fact that Jongin was suffering from leukemia couldn’t stop the fears from growing inside him – not because of the sickness but he was scared, what if one day the guy really had to leave him alone? What if the tan-skinned guy moved to another world and let him sailed the yacht of his life all by himself? He didn’t want any of that happen, not even when the day of his death arrived.

“Please, don’t say that Jongin, I’m scared.” He mumbled and tried so hard to blink away the tears that kept on forming in his eyes but failed.

The heart was aching, the words of leaving was just like a sharp knife that couldn’t stop stabbing his heart for countless of time. It wasn’t easy to accept the truth that his lover would leave him one day and he did know that Jongin was in the last stage of the leukemia but he didn’t want to know – he just wanted the guy to be with him and stay with him forever, no matter what happen.

Jongin pushed himself up – leaning closer to the milky guy and rested his chin on the latter’s shoulder with arms wrapping around Sehun’s tiny waist.

“Baby, look at me,” he paused, Sehun seemingly didn’t buy it – he heaved a sigh then continued, “I can’t be here, sitting beside you like forever but I want you to know that you’ll always be in my heart even on the day that I exhaled my last bre-”

“Please stop, I don’t wanna listen,” Sehun pleaded with a shaky voice – eyes locked on the ground.

“But I want you to-”

“No!” He shoved the tanned guy and quickly stood up – staring down at the brunette as he sobbed harder, “Why don’t you understand that I can’t live without you Jongin? Let’s just try, maybe your sickness will be gone one day but please just don’t tell me that you want to leave me, I’m not strong and you did know how much I care for you and wants you to be here with me forever, please just don’t – don’t say that.”

The brunette let out a long sigh and quickly got off the ground. Stepping closer to where the blonde guy was standing – he circled his arms around the said guy’s tiny waist, pulling him closer and he muttered a small ‘sorry’ to the other then he added,

“Stop crying, it hurts me,”

Sehun brought his hands up and gently rubbed the brunette’s face with his thumbs, “I’m scared, you won’t leave me, right?”

Smiling softly at the blonde – he shook his head, leaning in to close the distance between them and he brushed his plump lips onto Sehun’s. Holding back his tears but he failed – the crystal liquid flowed down wet his skin. He tightened his grip around the milky-skinned guy’s waist and deepened the kiss.

Jongin’s warm tears wet his skin mixed with his own crystal liquid that couldn’t stop streaming down like a waterfall, he s his arms around the brunette’s neck and started to move his lips in sync with the other. The kiss was soft and passionate but turned to an open-mouthed when the brunette started to bit – his lower lip asking the blonde to give in. Sehun smiled between the lips.

As he parted, Jongin slid his tongue inside the blonde’s mouth – exploring the sweet cavern of Oh Sehun, savoring the taste and started to fight for dominance. Tears kept on flowing down because his heart was hurt by the fact that he would leave the other alone one day and he had to accept the reality that he was dying – it was just only the day didn’t arrive yet, but the sign of leaving was there, inside him.

The night goes with the moonlight be the witness of their true love towards each other and the sparkling stars above them be the light that lightened up their beautiful date under the sky. The wind breezed brushing their soft skin smoothly and the beautiful nature was the audience that watching them pouring the love into each other with full of sincerity and pure.

Present day:

He stood at the balcony, the wind blew his hair, the breeze tickled his cheeks, and his eyes drooped to the ground. He stared over the windblown landscape, dark thunder clouds were forming in the distance over trees, and he heard himself whispering. He whispered to no one, he was alone and horrified at the prospect, but there he was standing in the gloom of a summer storm alone, he has nobody to hold him, nobody to whisper in his ear sweet melodies, nobody but himself. He kept on staring over the horizon, feeling the loneliness crawled down his spine. He stood there, tired and weak and heartbroken. Standing there until the rain padded the floor of the balcony and hit the ground. He didn’t care how wet he was getting, he didn’t care if he died under the pouring rain, nothing matters then.

Gripping the railing tightly as his heart started to bleed, clutching his chest to release the pain but to no avail. The inconsolable kept on creeping under his skin; it was hurt to no end. The tears that kept on rolling down his cheeks were the endless pain that he dropped every night though he knew that the blue would never end with crying. But what could he do then? Everything has disappeared but then it suddenly came hitting his mind and heart and shut down the reality that Kim Jongin was dead – giving him new hope by sending him a new guy named Kai. Did the plot twist really happen? He wanted to know why everything happened when he was trying to run away from the sorrowful world he had. What was the secret behind all the fate? What was the reason of the existence of a person named Kai? His mind couldn’t find the answer – it was too complicated for him as a normal human being.

Feeling weak and tired – crying his lung out until he could feel the throat was sore and the salty liquid running down the throat that made him more hurt. He has no idea of how to face the Kai guy every day until the collaboration project completely end. The presence of the guy only set him into the murky not even giving him chance to curve his lips up.

The next morning was the same for him, waking up from the bed shuffling to the mirror only to find how bad his puffy eyes were. Having a shower only to feel the water flowed above him hitting his skin and the feeling of disheartened made him couldn’t feel the warmth that the water gave him.

And as usual, when he stepped out of the bathroom – his eyes would be wandering around the room, observing every single thing around him. The wall that painted with white, the soft baby blue sheets that Jongin loved was still there on the bed – the classic picture frame of Kim Jongin hanging on the wall at the top of the headboard, white ceiling with floral vintage and the beautiful chandelier above him at the center of the ceiling. There was a white nightstand next to the bed with a snow globe on it and it was belonged to the brunette. Turning his gaze to the left side of the room his eyes locked at the open closet and there was a grey sweatshirt of his that the tan-skinned guy once bought for him when they were on the vacation at the Jeju Island. Sigh had never left his mouth.

Stepping closer to the closet – he grabbed a white tee shirt and blue jeans. With deciding to not going to the office, he quickly dressed and walked to the night stand that was a few feet away from him and grabbed his phone – sliding to unlock, he hurriedly texted Sheena telling her that he wouldn’t be going to the office and canceled every appointment including the meeting with Kai.

After a few minutes of waiting, Sheena finally replied with ‘ok’. He grabbed his wallet in the nightstand drawer and walked out the room. He made his way downstairs heading out the mansion. One of his maid did ask him whether he wanted to have a dinner at home or with Sheena outside, he just answered with ‘I’ll be late so don’t wait for me.’

The day seemed to be raining and it was cloudy but he didn’t want to care as long as he could spend a day to release the stress inside him. He had never had a chance to have a time to be spent with himself without even thinking of the dark memory and work. Hoping that the day would be good to him, he drove himself to nowhere – didn’t even have any idea of what to do and where to go – perhaps just driving out of town wandering around the nothingness.

After a few hours of driving, he felt dizzy and tired that he stopped and parked the car at the Cake House in Garosu-gil. He sighed and got out the car, the reason of being there was out of his mind but he just stepped in and walked to the counter – observing the menu for a few minutes, he decided to have a slice of vanilla cake and a cup of hot chocolate also telling the cashier that he wanted a less sugar of hot chocolate. He should’ve found a place to be sat but he just didn’t know why he ordered without even wait for the waiter to come and take an order.

He found himself sitting at the table at the corner of the Cake House – gazing out the window and it was raining outside. The rain sound filled the air; the raindrops hitting the ground woefully just like what he had been feeling for all this time.

Too busy staring at the falling raindrops out the window that he didn’t realize someone was then sitting across him – eyeing him with a soft smile, not even trying to distract his spacing out moment. He let out a sigh, turning his head to the front only to be greeted with a warm smile of Kai. The memory of Jongin started to come across his mind – rustling in and out then making him trembling.

“Hi, are you alone? Where’s Sheena?” Kai greeted with a smile but frowned when the sad face of Sehun greeted him.

Sehun just sat there without saying a word, he was speechless and what to react when he was trying to run from meeting the guy but then suddenly popped out of nowhere and sat across him? He remained silent and his eyes landed on his feet.

“Uh – are you okay, Mr. Oh?” The tanned guy asked in concern.

“Why are you here?” Sehun mumbled with voice above whisper – without spare a single glanced at the other.

“I – I just came in with my fiancé to have a lunch together here but then I see you’re – alone so I decided to say hi or maybe have a lunch together?” Kai said nonchalantly with half-question.

Sehun choked on his own breath in the mention of fiancé and he could feel the bitterness in as he took a sip of orange juice to calm himself down. Ruefully closed his eyes in a brief second as the pain crawled under his skin and he bit his inner cheek. With lips trembling he slowly lifted her head up to look at the latter and forced himself to curve his lips up.

“S-sure,” he said bitterly – stutter.

“Great!” Kai chirped.

He nodded and pursed his lips flatly – turning his gaze back to the window hoping that the lunch would end in just a blink of an eye but to no avail.

A few minutes later a petite girl with red mini dress, long raven hair with heart-shaped lips and doe eyes, came closer to where he and the brunette was sitting. Perhaps she was Kai’s fiancée like what has been told by the brunette earlier. The girl then took a seat next to the tanned and gave him a frown.

“Uh – baby who…” she raised her brows at Kai.

“Oh, yeah I forgot to tell you. Meet Mr. Oh Sehun the CEO of the BlueCross – the company that I collaborate with for the runaway project, remember?” he paused earning a nod from the girl then turned to look at Sehun and continued, “Mr. Oh, meet my fiancé, SeKyung.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Oh, I’m SeKyung,”

“Just Sehun, no need to call me Mr. Oh,” he threw a quick smile at the doe-eyed girl.

Both of them shook each other’s hand. There was awkwardness between them and Kai just chuckled lightly. Sehun has no idea what so funny that could make the tanned guy suddenly chuckle.

The lunch was joyless with the reality he had to face in front of him and seeing Kai being sweet to SeKyung right in front of his eyes was burning his hope into ashes. His heart cracked every time the girl whined and the brunette would pinch her nose making her smile lovingly at the other. They did talk to him, ask him what he liked and disliked but he answered them with just a smile. He has no heart to talk about that kind of stuff because he wanted to leave – and run away from the two lover birds. The pain kept on slicing his heart when the tan-skinned guy smiles at him, he didn’t return the smile instead he plastered his face with coldness.

He was about to space out when the guy suddenly asked,

“Anyway Sehun, may I know who is Jongin? Uh – it’s uh – If you don’t mind,”

Feeling a slight pang on his chest, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was hurt – it got even deeper when Kai was the one who asked about Jongin. How he could answer to the question? How he could explain about him and what if the guy asked about the feature of the person? What to answer? What to speak? He didn’t know.

“Someone that I love,” – it was the only words that he mumbled with voice above whisper.

“I beg your pardon?” Kai frowned, trying to digest of what the blonde just spilled out.

“Someone who leaves me, going to another world,” he said turning his gaze from the window to Kai.

“Another world?” SeKyung furrowed her brows.

“Yeah, he’d passed away 6 months ago,” Biting his inner cheek to hold back his tears – eyes landed on the floor. The words stabbed his heart, face plastered with blue and lips trembling. The fact really made him wants to cry his lung out but he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want the other to look at him with eyes full of sympathy. He didn’t need that and just let the pain flowed throughout his body.

“Oh, uh – I’m sor”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m fine with it. Uh – it’s almost three, I gotta go,” with that Sehun got off the seat without spare a single glance at the others, he quickly walked out from the Cake House. Walking with tears running down heavily like heavy downpour and wet his skin like acids that sending unbearable pain down to his spine, his heart screamed. His mind went black and only felt numbness.

Kai who watched the milky guy suddenly got up and leave, frowned in confusion. He has no idea why the guy took a quick step without bid him and SeKyung with goodbye then left them in surprised. Sometimes he was wondering why the milky guy looked sad and down every time he faced him. Not that he wanted to be busybody but he wanted to know. The first day he heard the name of Jongin made him couldn’t stop thinking about who the person was.

The night was still the same; he had never run out of tears to shed, often wondered of what it was like to be dead. Lying awake all night in his bed – deep inside he didn’t want life to be ended, but how? How he could survive with the nightmare kept on chasing him and haunted his life, the living dead following him like shadows with the crestfallen that wouldn’t be end, he was stuck in the darkness.

Eyes locked at the ceiling in the pitch black room, tasted the velvet black vapor behind his lips pressed tight, having no sweet syllables to spill into someone's ear, that was what it felt like when he was alone. The sound of the music was plaintive to him either the happy song or sad – they sounded just the same to his ear. Nothing more beautiful, anything that came into view was only gloom and sorrowful.

The bitterness would never left his throat – having the night with full of tears was normal to him until he found himself fully awake in the morning when the clock started to rang signaling for him that morning was arriving and the day of sadness had begun, again.

“Morning, Sehun,”

“Sheena?”

“Yeah, how did you manage to fall in a very deep sleep when I was reaching you through the phone like thousands of time?” she said while closing the door behind her – stepping towards the milky-skinned guy that was still lying on the bed, half-awake. Sheena was used to the place – Sehun’s mansion – because they usually spent their discussion times together at the mansion and waking up the blonde was sometimes became her routine because she did know that her boss didn’t actually sleep at night.

With half lidded eyes, he pushed himself up sitting on the bed as he reached for his phone on the nightstand – sliding to unlock and there were ’20 missed calls’ popped on the screen and it was ten in the morning, no wonder Sheena was there to wake him up.

“I – I couldn’t sleep last n-”

“I know, I don’t need those lame words anymore, but Kai is waiting at the living hall, I hope you don’t mind seeing him today,” Sheena shrugged.

“At the living hall?! Sheena I don’t feel like-” he trailed off and sighed.

“Stop thinking about Jongin, will you? It’s time to move on your life,”

“But how Sheen? Is that by watching the person you love that passed away few months ago standing before you every day? Seeing him smile with the person he loves right in front of your eyes? Is that what you really mean? If yes then I’m done with my life.” Sehun scoffed and climbed down the bed – when he got onto his feet, he glanced at Sheena who was sitting at the edge of the bed in front of him.

“You don’t love him, do you? Still remember of what he said to you before he left? He wants you to be happy not living in the sorrowful world like what you did today. Look at yourself Sehun, you look awful and stress. Don’t you want to be happy like others?” She spilled out earning a long sigh from Sehun.

“It’s only a moron who does think that they don’t need to be happy, Sheena.” With that he his heels and walked towards the bathroom but froze when he remembered that Sheena said the tanned guy was downstairs at the living hall, “And – uh tell him that I don’t want to see anyone today.”

“I won’t ask him to leave,” Sheena mumbled nonchalantly.

“Sheena please,”

“Whatever Sehun but he’ll stay and I’ll wait until you get downstairs and meet him, full stop.” Sheena walked out from the room leaving the stiff Sehun behind – lost for words.

Cry – that was the only thing that he thought right then and there when he was sitting across Kai with Sheena next to him. The fate was cruel, he wanted to suicide because it was too hurt to see the guy he loved in front of his eyes but he couldn’t even touch him, couldn’t feel the warmth of the other body – he yearned for the brunette’s touch, wanted to shower him with kisses and he missed him and it would never end.

It took so long for the discussion to be ended and he felt like dragging his legs run away from them but Sheena stopped him, asking him to stay and face the truth. But it was hurting him. Every time he tried to speak, the words stuck in his throat and he noticed the frown that was forming on Kai’s face. He was too weak and the sadness surged through him with so much power. The fact that Kai was belonged to someone others was like a piece of sharp glass that could make everybody bleed with just a touch.

He found himself standing at the backyard of the mansion, with heart beat racing – chest heaving up and down then clutching his chest, he cried his lung out. The small lake was the listener, the beautiful cherry blossoms showered him with the falling leaves and feeling the wind that breezed tickled his skin to calm him but he wouldn’t be calm – because he couldn’t. Falling down kneeling on the ground – tremble. The sound of the melancholy echoed in his ears, the day surrounded him with mournful – his heartsick was unbearable that was the reason why he went to the backyard, leaving them in the mansion because seeing the guy smiled at him could only choke his breath and it wasn’t comfortable at all.

“Why did you leave me, Jongin? And showed up after I’ve been suffered for the ing six months? Why did you come again into my life as another person? Don’t you want to see me happy, Jongin? Answer me…” he cried, “Answer me, Jongin!! Answer me…”

Curling on the ground and closed his eyes – letting all the depression flowed inside him. He could feel the pain every time his heart beating. His world went black but his eyes snapped open when he heard footsteps was coming after him. He didn’t have any strength to get up so he remained stiff and kept on sobbing without bothering to look at the person.

“Are you okay, Sehun?”

He could feel the soft touch on his forehead, the voice of Kai knocked his mind with full of strength that made him feels like dying but he couldn’t get up, not even when the guy trying to pull him up.

“Leave me alone, please,” with his back facing the other, he pleaded.

“I don’t think it’s the right time to leave you alone, you’re not okay,” Kai insisted to stay – he pulled the blonde up with full of strength, lifting Sehun up in bridal style and began to walk heading inside the mansion.

Sehun was still crying and he was too tired to even voice out that he wanted the guy to just leave him and never show up in front of him but to no avail – he was already in the brunette’s arms and he took the chance to bury his face in the crook of Kai’s neck, breathing the sweet scent of the guy but it wasn’t the same as Jongin’s then with his heart skipped a beat, he closed his eyes.

“Kai, what’s wrong?” Sheena asked with worries growing inside her when her eyes spotted Kai that was holding the blonde in his arms stepping inside the mansion. She quickly jogged closer to the others – touching Sehun’s forehead with her palm then turned her gaze to look at Kai with pathetic face.

“I don’t know what the reason is but I think he needs a rest,” Kai murmured.

 “Yeah, uh – I’ll show you his room,” Sheena volunteered. 

UN-BETA-ED T.T I'm sorry for any mistakes or grammatical error because English isnt my first language so please bare with me readers T,T 

Omg Kai would be shock if he got into the room and saw a... T.T 

First Shot UP!! So how was it? It's not confusing, is it? hahah THANKS FOR ALL THE SUBBIES LOVE YOU MMUAH!! AND FOR MY BEAUTIFUL READERS SEKAI-NIM I LOVE YOU!! Thanks for keep on supporting my story /okay too much blabber/ So as usual, subscribe and please leave your thoughts in the comment box!!