He knew it was over the moment his eyes met his mother's.

The shriek that left   as her gaze fell on her poor baby's condition, observing as the blood glided down his arms and down his slim fingers; landing swiftly on the ground with  widened eyes.

She wondered since when things had become so horrid for her son, askin why the reason Jongin's only solution was suicide really saddened her to say the least.

Her cheeks were tinted a blooming red as she screamed for help from her husband down the stairs, the faint sound of the television dying soon after.

She held back her tears as she struggled to hold his weight up once Jongin's knees gave out, voice horsed as she endlessly begged for Jongin to keep his eyes open, to just keep them open, but really...all he wanted was to close them, to sleep.

'Please mum, let it be...I want this' he, so badly, wanted to say.

But he couldn't, he merely parted his plump lips as a small gasp left them at the pain that had suddenly crawled up his spine.

He thought it was quite ironic, him, cradled up in his mum's small yet firm arms just as if he was merely five years old, when he'd run home in tears because the other kids wouldn't play with him just because he was "strange", if it would've been in a different occasion he would've laughed...but he couldn't bring himself to, because truth was...his mum's embrace was the nicest thing he'd felt all day.

Red, red, red. He thought.

He could feel something wet slide down his cheeks, and it took him a second to realise it was his mother's tears.

He wanted to tell her to stop...but he simply stared up at her, watching as she continued leaving small kisses on his hair, whispering words she thought that would come out as soothing into his ear.

'It'll be okay...' she whispered as she forced a smile in between her tears, 'Y-you'll be fine.'

He didn't want to hear that,though. He wanted it all to end, because he had never been selfish in his life and maybe it was okay to want things too.

'Why, Jongin, why..?' she finally asked, a small pain filled sob slipping pass her lips.

'B-because it wouldn't have mattered.' he whispered, his usually firm voice sounding incredibly broken.

Being able to taste the metallic taste of blood in his tongue; he swallowed, a small breath leaving him

His mum held him closer then, crying into his neck as his vision blurred a tad more, feeling how his eyes slowly began closing, he smiled bitterly.

Finally.

Red, red, red. He thought as it all faded to black.

[a/n: well i realised i hadn't updated in a long time so i got to writing!! on my phone so yea, this is a little short; sorry. anyway, the next chapter is in process, i am already writing it, i hope you guys enjoyed it and again sorry for the length. any suggestions in what you would like for future chapters??? thank you fr the subscriptions and comments they make me incredibly giddy hehe  and encourage me to continue c: ]