Min blinked and processed what Kikwang had just said. Many thoughts and questions popped into her head, but she held her tongue. Instead she swallowed and looked at him cautiously, “Y-you need to elaborate before my imagination creates a scenario” Even with the pain he was feeling, Kikwang couldn’t help smile. He was afraid that she would automatically reject him like his previous classmates had when they found out the truth, but even though he knew Min had questions, she wasn’t like that. Her expression was expected. She was shocked, afraid and concerned, but he felt better when she spoke those words. She was going to listen to him, but still, he couldn’t help look away.

“It wasn’t on purpose. My father aimed his gun to himself and I tried to stop him-” Min couldn’t help the expression of relief wash across her face. She knew there was something else there. “And you accidently shot him?” Min finished, she could tell he was having trouble explaining it to her, but she got the gist of it. Kikwang nodded, but he didn’t want to go into it, he just wanted to let it out bit by bit and after seeing his body shaking Min understood that it wasn’t a good idea to have him talk fully about it when he wasn’t ready. He still blamed himself. “It wasn’t your fault” Min said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kikwang sighed and unconsciously placed a hand over hers, “I-I sometimes think maybe I shouldn’t have intervened…” He trailed off, his eyes narrowing as he remembered the painful memory. “You had to. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone so broken and just standing by and watching them. It’s an instinct that most, if not all, humans have. The instinct to save the people we love” Kikwang knew she wasn’t just speaking for him anymore. “What if they’re too far in? What if there’s no chance in saving them?” Min smiled weakly at him, “It doesn’t stop us from trying, does it?”

Kikwang pursed his lips and removed his hand. “Even if that means putting ourselves in harms way?” “When we care about someone, we put them first. Like I said, an instinct of saving the people you love” “How can you help them when you yourself are broken?” Kikwang faced her, “Junhyung wants to be okay, but honestly, I think you’re the one keeping him from getting better” Min dropped her hand, offended by his unexpected words and the change of topic. “Excuse me?” Kikwang pressed his lips together into a thin line. He didn’t want to continue; he didn’t want her to feel bad. Her words had angered him, but he didn't want to press on the subject he knew would only hurt her.

“Kikwang, what do you mean by that?” She asked, her voice rising. Kikwang shrugged lightly. “Nothing. Forget it.” Min narrowed her eyes, “If I break up with him-” Min started, but Kikwang scoffed when she played that card. “Would anything really change? You’d still be watching over him like a hawk. You should be his safety net, not the rope” Kikwang stood up. “Junhyung works his off, why?” “Because his mother is the devil” Min answered with evident distaste at the mention of that woman. Kikwang simply glanced down at her. She was now glaring at the floor. “You know him better than anyone, Min. Is his mother really the reason he works hard in everything he does? Did you ever think that maybe he wants to be better than her or find a way out of her control?” Kikwang shoved his hand in his pockets. “But what do I know, right? I don’t know him like you do and I don’t know you like he does. I just personally think that you’re the one that’s scared to let him go and it’s understandable” Kikwang crouched down in front of her, making Min look up into his eyes, “He almost died in front of you. You almost lost him and you don’t want to see that again”, He said his voice softening when he saw the pain in her eyes. Min’s lip trembled. “I want to save him,” “I know, but maybe you’re going to have to let him go in order to save him”

“He still loves me” Kikwang frowned and straightened up. The thought had crossed his mind, but he had ignored it before. Junhyung still loved Min, therefore Min leaving him could hurt him deeply and then there was a chance that Min’s fears would come through. There's always that possibility and Kikwang didn’t like it, not one bit. He couldn’t exactly tell her to leave him. First of all, she wouldn’t do it. Second, he admits that it would be a bad idea to give Junhyung that negative blow, especially during his busiest year. Not only would Min feel guilty, but Kikwang would also feel like it was his fault for giving her that thought.

He clenched his hands into fists. “Yeah. He does” Min sighed and then stood up, making Kikwang back up. “I’m not stupid Kikwang. I’m not blinded by my emotions, but I care more about his at the moment. Please understand that” “I do” Kikwang said taking another step back. He didn’t want to be near her. All his heart desired was to wrap his arms around her, but he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t her boyfriend and the guilt always slapped him across the face when he thought about Junhyung. He wasn’t heartless. Junhyung wasn’t exactly his close friend, but he felt for the broken boy and he didn't want Min to take on more guilt.

But little did he know that Min was already in that situation; she already longed for him. Min wrapped her arms around her and pushed away the thought of pulling him into the hug she so desperately wanted. “I don’t want to talk about all this anymore. I made my choice and you need to respect it” Kikwang rolled his eyes, “So you want me to just sit back and watch you crumple? Didn’t you just say that sitting back and doing nothing is one of the worst-” ‘Then don’t” Min interrupted him. Kikwang faced her. She was looking at him intensely and he couldn’t help stare back.

Kikwang soften his stare and couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips. She was giving him permission to remain close; to be there for her. Min bit her bottom lip and her eyes fell to the floor. It might’ve been selfish to ask, but after taking in Kevin and Kikwang’s words, Min started to fear what would happen if she continued to keep everything bottled up and as horrible as it sounded, she didn’t want to end up as broken as Junhyung. She wanted to have some happiness around her. She deserved that right?

Kikwang and Min jumped when they heard the doorbell. They stood there, not knowing what to do. “Ah. It’s my house. I’m going to...get that” “Okay. Can I use your restroom?” Min nodded to the direction of the bathroom, “Yeah. Make yourself at home” She said, quickly heading to the front door.

Min opened the front door, “Hey” Junhyung said, smilingly at her weakly. “Hi. You look tired” Min said, stepping back to let him pass. “I am. Your mom took your car?” “Oh no. She left a few hours ago. Dongwoon has it” “Dongwoon? Oh. Hey” Junhyung nodded to Kikwang who walked back into the living room. Min noticed some drops on his face, “Hi” Min fiddled with her fingers, she did nothing wrong, so why was she feeling remorseful? Junhyung took notice of the tense atmosphere and watched Kikwang let himself fall on the couch to watch TV.

“So Dongwoon has your car?” Min nodded, facing him again. “Yeah. He headed home to change then went to help with his mom’s class picnic” Junhyung nodded and pulled her aside “Why didn’t you just give them a ride back home instead?” Min was taken back by the annoyance in his voice. “Why? Because we were planning on going out after Dongwoon came back. That’s why” “What about our plans?” Min raised an eyebrow, “We had plans?” “I sent you a text this morning asking if you wanted to go see a movie” “I haven’t checked it” “Of course not. You’re too busy apparently” Min widen her eyes, “Hey, don’t. I didn’t respond to your text, therefore there were no plans. Besides, I’m not the only busy one okay? Don’t try to pin this on me” “Fine. I admit it I'm busy, I'm the class president remember? But I promised Kevin that I was going to make an effort to stop fighting and fix this relationship-” “This relationship is stressing me out more than finals” Min snapped.

Junhyung swallowed. He was a bit surprised by the anger behind her voice. “Don’t say that”, He said, caressing her cheek. “Sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have gotten mad. You know I love you right? With everything going on it’s just been upsetting me that I haven’t been able to spend more time with you. We’ve gone through a lot together. I don’t want to lose you” Junhyung gave her a small smile, “You’re the only thing in my pathetic life that makes me happy” A chill ran down Min's spine,  I shouldn’t be. Min forced herself to smile back. She was lying to him now. Lying to him about how she felt and she knew that the guilt was etched into her conscious now, but telling him the truth wasn’t an option at least not right now. She appreciated his effort, but it came too late. The problem now was that Min had to pretend their relationship was curable, even when she knew it wasn’t.

“She shouldn’t be” Min heard Kikwang’s mumble behind her and when she turned she saw the back of his head disappearing behind the front door.  Junhyung was also staring at the door with narrowed eyes. She shouldn’t be? He repeated Kikwang’s words in his head and then faced Min to ask her what he meant, but Min was still looking at the door, concern and hurt in her eyes. His curiosity was replaced with jealousy. “Do you want to go after him?” He spat. Min clenched her jaw and shot him a glare. “Sure. His company is a lot better than yours at the moment” Min turned to leave, but Junhyung grabbed her wrist and yanked her back. Min widened her eyes and looked up at him. “Don’t leave me like that”, He said in a serious tone. Min swallowed and yanked her hand away. Junhyung came back to his senses and looked down at her wrist, which she was massaging with her other hand. “I’m sorry” He said, surprised about what he had done. He reached for her, but let his hand fall when he took notice that she was watching him cautiously. W-what am I doing? Junhyung shook his head and reached out for her again, “I’m sorry” He said, wrapping his arms around her. The image of Min walking away from him made him tighten his hold. 

They had just fixed things. Their relationship was working again, but why did the fear of her leaving him escalate? He then closed his eyes when he realized it. Before he had no fear of Min leaving him. She had been stubborn about always being there for him and back then it was somewhat annoying, but even though she was there, right in front of him, he knew that something had changed. Deep down he knew that maybe it was her feelings, but he pushed that thought away. She was with him. Which meant she still cared and for now that’s all he needed to keep her close, even if his heart broke at the thought of her not loving him anymore.

Min didn’t move she just stood there as many thoughts circled her mind.

“I think you’re the one that’s keeping him from getting better”

 Min closed her eyes and leaned her forehead on Junhyung’s shoulder.

I think he’s right.

-

“I’m not avoiding you” Kikwang dropped his fork, startled by the sudden appearance of Min. “What?” “I’ve been very busy with all the events and final exams before Winter Break, but I am not avoiding you” Kikwang raised an eyebrow and picked up his utensil.

It had been at least 2 weeks since Kikwang had opened up to her. Min had pulled him aside the next school day to tell him that if he needed to talk she was there, but after that her schedule got busier and they only said hi or bye when they passed by each other in the hall. Kikwang wasn’t mad, in fact, he felt relieved that he had told someone. Sure, he hadn’t gone into more detail, but it felt good to have someone else to rely on.

“Okay” Kikwang responded and watched as Min sat down in front of him with her plate of food. “How was your Thanksgiving?” “Fine” Kikwang said and it actually was fine. He loved spending time with Dongwoon and his parents. They were fun and always brought laughs to the table. “How about yours?” “Great. Junhyung and I went up to my mom’s place” “That’s nice’ Min simply nodded. Kikwang played with his tater toots. “How is Junhyung?” Kikwang asked. Min thought about her response. Junhyung had been a bit clingier at school lately, but during their Thanksgiving break he seemed to be back to normal. He looked happier and when Min saw his notebooks, she couldn’t help smile at the reason. He had gone back to composing. When he was young Junhyung had an infatuation with music and when his mom wasn’t watching, he and Min would listen to different genres. Min had never seen him so focused and content than when he listened to music or composed it. But then his mother found out and burned everything; his equipment, his cd's, his notebooks. They were all gone. Junhyung was devastated after taht and the hurt only grew when his mother began to push him even more. Maybe that was the start of it all? She took away the thing that made him happiest and made it clear that she held the reigns of his life.

“Min?” Min broke out of her thoughts, “He’s fine” Min answered quickly, making Kikwang raise an eyebrow. He set down his fork, “You gave me permission to pry so I’m prying. Everything okay?” “Yeah. He’s better, at least during break. He was fine during break. Better than fine to be honest” Kikwang watched her; he had a feeling that she was keeping something in, but also seemed like she was telling the truth about how their break went, so he let it go.

“Let me guess, Winter Dance at the beach?” Kikwang changed the subject when he saw the stack of flyers next to her. “Yes, because going to the beach during the winter is a wonderful idea” “Hey, this school practically lives on the beach!” Min grinned, “While I agree, the dance won’t be on the beach” “Where is it going to be then? A lake house?” Min made a face, “ Ha ha Very funny" Kikwang only shrugged. Min leaned forward, motioning for him to get closer. "It's actually going to be at a hotel saloon...near the beach!" Kikwang looked at her, not amused and straightened up. Min laughed and handed him a flyer. Kikwang read it, “Well, it’s still near the beach and I’m sure many students will make their way towards it” Min snorted, “Of course, but to make out or practice what they learned in Ed” Kikwang cleared his throat. He was well aware about his feelings for Min and it’d be a complete lie to say he never thought about kissing her. He was attracted to her for goodness sake. It was only natural. The second the sentence left , Min felt her face flush. She had her own share of kissing scenes in her head, but her guilt had always put an end to them. Right now though, she was looking right at Kikwang. He was right in front and her mind was playing out ways of kissing him right then and there.

“Do you need help with those?” Min jerked up to her feet after feeling a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?” Junhyung asked. “Yeah, just too much coffee. I’m going to go put these up” Min squeaked, quickly grabbing her papers and running off. Don't think about that you idiot! Min scolded herself, scurrying away with her head down. Junhyung and Kikwang watched her with raised brows. After she was gone, they both glanced at each other and then awkwardly looked away. “I’m going to go” Kikwang said, standing up and grabbing his plate. “Wait” Junhyung held up his hand and sighed realizing it was a good time to bring up a question he had been meaning to ask for sometime now. Kikwang nodded, “Okay. What’s up?” “I need to ask you something” Kikwang nodded again and sat back down when Junhyung sat on the seat Min had been occupying before. 

“What's up?” Junhyung ruffled his hair, “A few weeks ago, when you were at Min’s house, you said something before you left. I…I want to know what you meant” Kikwang thought back and his face fell when he recalled the words “Ah. You heard that?” “I did” Kikwang sighed, “I don’t think it matters anymore” “It does. Just spit it out!” Junhyung said, getting annoyed. The feeling must’ve passed down to Kikwang, cause he immediately shot him a glare. “All right. Fine. I said that Min shouldn’t be the only happy thing in your pathetic life. One person shouldn’t be your only happiness. You should have something else in your life that makes it worth living” “I love Min” “I don’t care” Kikwang said, exasperated. “Your damn love is making her as depressed as you are!” Junhyung pursed his lips, clearly offended. “You don’t see it do you? You’ve known her longer than I have right? Haven’t you noticed her change?” Kikwang asked, softer this time. Junhyung looked down at the table, processing Kikwang’s words. He thought back of the bubbly girl he grew up with, the girl that always had a smile on her face, then he thought about the girl with the bags under her eyes, with the permanent frown on her face and the tired eyes she greeted him every morning.

“You both need to pull away from each other. It’s not about one of you leaving the other anymore. You need to find your happiness and let her find her own. You have dreams, so let her have hers too. If you continue like this, it won’t end well. A relationship has it's down, I get that, but it should also have happiness and none of you have that even if you say you love her” Kikwang wasn’t saying this so he could end up with Min. All he wanted was for her happy on her own terms. He didn’t expect her to have feelings for him or even walk into his arms if she ever did leave Junhyung. No. He wouldn't feel right about it. He would be there for her as a friend, just like Kevin, but nothing more. He wasn't going to put her through more complications. “You care a lot about her don’t you?” Junhyung asked, rubbing his eyes. “I do, but I’m not saying this so I’ll have a chance” Kikwang said in serious tone, making Junhyung look at him. “I’m saying this because I truly care about her and because I don’t want to see you two end up like my parents” With that said, Kikwang grabbed his tray and left. Junhyung furrowed his eyebrows. “His parents?” He glanced at Kikwang, then roughly messed up his hair and sighed

“My happiness huh?”

Story Talk: Junhyung, I believe in you! You're not so deep in after all and you're not alone. Kick depressions ! 

My goodness, this story can go so many ways....good and bad...

Let me know if what you thought about this chapter. Are you relieved that Min is thinking clearer now? Are you a little scared about Junhyung's little violent reaction? Are you proud of Kikwang for speaking up? Please do comment!

Author's Note: I have been without internet for a week, the week when I needed it the most, but whatever, can't go back. Anyway, I managed to work on some of my stories and finished this small chapter. Give me a few days and I'll maybe post up another update or a new story or the oneshot I couldn't post up for New Year's Eve. >< After this weekend I'm going to have some free time and I'll definitely be writing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Happy New Year's!