If Found, Please Return to Me
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Description
♫ Grieve. So that you can be free to feel something else. ♫
Nayyirah Waheed
It had been a week.
It had been a week and I’m still here.
I answer the phone and reassure everyone I’m okay.
I answer the door and let them in; we talk and though I am quieter than usual, they understand and leave reassured that I hadn’t done anything stupid.
I had always handled myself well after all.
If only they saw me now, on the bathroom floor with a bottle of Ambien in my hand.
But I never take more than recommended.
I'm well aware this drug won't kill me in one go.
I've done my research.
Instead, I pick myself up and only take two capsules before going to my room to hide under the covers.
I should want to do it.
I'm capable of finding another way.
But I don't.
Call it the will to live or human instinct, but I just can’t end it.
Can't I?
Won't I?
Do I want to?
Why is this so damn complicated?
What’s keeping me here?
My music?
The music I've lost motivation to compose?
My money?
If I lost everything now, I wouldn’t care. I’m not money hungry enough to kill myself over it.
How pathetic would that be?
Then why am I still breathing? Why, with the tools around me, don’t I just make all the pain stop?
Why are human emotions so ing complicated?
What am I hopeful for? Why deep down do I feel like I shouldn’t do this?
Why?
Why?
Why God dammit?
Why?
Could it be that there’s still a chance to be happy?
Could it be that I’m hopeful that my happiness can return?
Is that it?
Am I being an optimist?
Am I being an idiot?
Should I stop questioning it?
You know what?
it.
I don’t want to kill myself tonight.
I don’t care why.
I don’t care if later I do want to do it or if I don’t ever think about it again.
I just don’t want to.
I’m here and until I’m not, I’m just going to keep up with the rotation of the earth.
I may not be happy, but who the hell knows? Maybe one day I will be.
Maybe one day I’ll be the Min I was before.
That'd be nice.
See, Min, it’s not that complicated when you stop making sense of it all.
It is what it is after all.
You survived the earthquake now take on the aftershocks.
Foreword
Characters
Min
Gearing up for her long awaited comeback, Min has left her mark in the music industry. Known for her powerful dancing and meaningful songs, she strived as not only a teen sensation, but a successful artist. Though after her 4 year hiatus spent furthering her education, Min is excited to return to promoting and standing on stage. The main single is ready, the MV is almost finished and her album just needs a few more adjustments. Everything was going swimmingly.
But in one night, her world came crashing down and who she was before becomes a complete stranger. Now instead of planning her return, she is determined to find herself again.
Junior
Junior is a member of JYP Entertainment’s new boy group, Got7. It has been almost 2 years since he began his journey in the boy group world, but 4 since he made a debut in the entertainment world. He is determined and strictly focused on his future and the future of his group members that any distraction that comes his way is easily brushed off.
That is, until he meets Min. Like everyone else he was completely star struck upon meeting the celebrity, but slowly he starts to fall in love with the real her and though his career and future can suffer from it, he is making no effort to get over her.
Joon
Joon is an ambitious business man in the making. He has a massive respect for his father and works hard to make him proud. He has known Min since they were young, but they didn’t become close until he finished college and returned to the states. In the time he has been at the company, he and Min have been slowly getting to know each other, going on a couple of dates, but unable to get into a steady relationship because of their constant work.
After Min’s tragedy though, Joon realizes he could lose her completely and is ready to fight to get her back.
Author's Note
In this story, Min is a sucessful soloist, Joon works in her father's entertainment company and Junior is still Junior from Got7. Of course just because I've kept Junior's occupation, doesn't mean that everything I write about him is real. (No duh right?) Min's "songs" mentioned in the story will be by other artist, but this is all fiction, so we'll pretend they're written by her okay? Okay! While it might have some lighter moments, this story will be a pretty emotional one. So what did you guys think? Please comment with what your thoughts and what you're looking forward to!
Poster and Background made by the amazing ElleJacobs from Idea Garden and Gallery | Writing & Design Community!
The story line belongs to me. Characters appearances are based off idols, but are not them. Remember, this is fiction. Please do not post anywhere else and do not plagiarize my story. Gifs are made by me. If using here or posting somewhere else, let me know or credit back but do not repost on tumblr.
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