Min

I huffed in frustration while using my armpit to hold my coffee, as my other hand pressed the 4th-floor button. After achieving my goal, I grabbed my coffee and let my damaged hand fall to my side.    Junior was right, I did need stitches, but fortunately it wasn’t as bad as it felt. On our way back, G.Soul didn’t let me enjoy a quiet ride home. He told me that if he truly had to, he would forcefully make me live with him. He scolded me and told me that he and Irene are constantly breathing down my neck and that I need to take advantage of them if needed. It had been a while since I heard him so riled up. Of course, he did it in his calm and wise demeanor.    But then I started doing the scolding.   Why? Well, in the process of looking for a chocolate bar, which he usually hid in his glove compartment, I found an invitation to a soul festival in Korea. He had gotten an invitation to a festival he loved and when I asked him he shrugged it off as if it wasn’t a big deal.   “Honestly Ji Hyun your shrugging off one of your favorite festivals, one you have been wanting to perform since you were in diapers. Why?”   “You didn’t know me when I was in diapers”   I shot him an annoyed glance, making him sigh.   “You think I can leave with you like this?”   I frowned. “Damn. So I’m keeping you from your dreams”   “That and the fact that I miss your dad and brother every damn day”   I poked at my bandages. “I’m sorry. I feel like an idiot for not thinking that you-”   “Right now you have to take care of yourself”   “I do, but you don’t”   I turned to look at him, “I think this was that slap in the face telling me I need to go talk to someone”   “An exorcist?” I smacked his arm with my good hand.    “Shut up. I’m serious” G.Soul chuckled and nodded. “That’s good. There’s nothing wrong with getting help”    “Just like there is nothing wrong with going to Korea to perform and maybe visiting your own parents?”    G.Soul’s mouth twitched. “Ah, you’re playing that card”    “I am. I know you talk to them daily, but c’mon, you must really want to go see them”    G.Soul merged into my street, “Fine, I’ll go, but that means that Irene will be doing double shifts with you”   “You know, she is my best friend, I don’t mind having her around”    He pulled up to the front of the building and looked up at it, “How long are you going to stay here?”    I grabbed my phone from where it was charging and shrugged, “Maybe after I talk to the exorcist”    I groaned as I struggled to open the door to the studio we were going to be using that day. Of course, the day when there is no one around to look at me with sad eyes, I have an injured hand.    I set my coffee down and let my satchel full of finished and unfinished lyrics fall on the coffee table.    I have never really written for a group, but I tried to sort through all the songs that would be best for 7 singers. I had also tried to translate some of them into Korean, but when I realized my right hand was currently unable to perform its abilities, I typed them up. It was a good thing that I had two days before the meeting.    The songs I brought ranged from depressing everyday songs to happy summer party songs. When I wrote, I didn’t always write what I was personally feeling. I had an act of writing from the people I saw every day. Like a young teenage couple breaking up at the park when they realized their long-distance relationship wasn’t working out or the woman sitting in the cafe, crying softly into her phone telling her friend that she caught her girlfriend of 4 years telling another woman she loved her or the old couple in the emergency room holding hands as they waited for the nurse to call their names.    They weren’t always so depressing, but they were moments I didn’t forget and I tried to put myself in their shoes in order to write music that expressed that. A song can help you cope and it can help you feel like there are others out there feeling what you’re feeling.    Music is therapeutic.    Which is the main reason I decided to dive back into it. While I did tell G.Soul I was going to talk to someone, the second I got home, I started using work as an excuse.    I’m too busy to talk to someone.    But I will.    I’m saving that meeting to whenever I feel like I’m going to have another breakdown. Why waste a psychiatrist's time with someone who is stable, while they could be helping someone who truly needs it?    “Good Morn- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?” I jumped in my seat, the stack of paper full of lyrics flying out of my hand. I blinked in surprised when I saw Jackson standing by the doorway, his eyes wide and targeted at my hand.     “Did you hear about the broken glass in one of the dance rooms?”    “Yeah, they told us if we wanted to use it, we had to go to another one”    I nodded, “Well, I accidentally kicked a glass bottle while dancing”    “Wow. I guess they weren’t kidding when they say you’re a dance monster”    I laughed, “No, I guess not”    “Are you okay?” JB asked and I nodded in reassurance. “I’m fine. Come in and take a seat so we can look over some of these-”   As Junior closed the door behind him, it was swiftly opened up again, accidentally hitting his arm.    We all looked at Joon who was standing under the doorframe, looking around at the small room. Once he found me and quickly walked over to me, ignoring Junior’s glare.    “What’s wrong?” I asked, standing up from my chair after seeing his expression.    Joon wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him, catching me off guard. He sighed and stepped back, placing his hand softly on my cheeks.   “I heard you went to the ER..” “Yeah, two nights ago” Joon pursed his lips, “And I only found out about it today? Min, why didn’t you call me?”   “Because I only cut my hand”   “Yeah, but you should’ve told me”   I glanced around the room noticing that JB, Junior and Mark stood to the side trying to avoid Joon’s dramatic scene, but the rest of the boys were watching us with fixed eyes. It would’ve been funny if it wasn’t embarrassing.    “Sorry. Next time”    “Next time? Haven’t you been to the Emergency Room enough now?”    Ouch.    I scoffed and gave Joon a dirty look, “Yeah, lucky me right?”    Joon blinked and took another step back at my tone, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was just worried-”    “I have work to do, can you please leave?”    “Min…”    “Go”    Before he turned away, I felt him kiss the side of my forehead, but when I turned back to look at him he had already left the room.    “And that’s why you should never date anyone you work with”, I said, trying to lighten up the mood.    “Noona, is he your boyfriend?” BamBam asked, suspiciously.    “BamBam” JB scolded.    “No. Just an old friend. Now, let’s try to find something that fits your boyish charms” I sat back down on my chair, avoiding their eyes.    “You can go talk to him if you want” I looked up at Junior, but he wasn’t looking at me. Instead, his eyes were fixed on one of my papers.    “Yeah, go we’ll look through these if you don’t mind” JB added.    I was a little caught off guard by their suggestions, but gave them a small smile and stood up.    Once I was out of the room, I jogged towards the elevators where Joon was waiting. To be honest, if they hadn't suggested  I wouldn't have bothered to chase after him. I'm becoming a ty friend.    “Joon”    When he saw me he quickly pushed himself off the wall.    “I’m sorry about what I said, Min”    “It’s okay. I just, I didn’t really think of calling anyone. G.Soul was with me and he always snitches on me with Irene, so…and Gigi, well, the mirror I broke…”    You would think the interviews and performances would make me less awkward with my words.    “Min, I’m there for you. Please know that. If you need to talk to me or cry or break mirrors, I’ll get all the safety gear and help you”    I smiled at that. Joon had always been a sweet guy, but right now my past feelings for him were at the back of my mind. I cared for him as a close friend, but that's it. It wasn’t his fault, but maybe my feelings for him weren’t strong, to begin with. If I still had feelings for him, I’d want him around all the time, especially now, but there wasn’t anyone I really wanted to be with other than my brother and father.    “Hey. It’s okay”    I jolted, making Joon put his hands on my shoulders. “You okay?”    I blinked in surprised at Junior’s voice.    I turned around and saw that there was no one in the hallway other than Joon and I.    What the hell?    “Min?”    “I’m fine. I just remembered I have to send an urgent email. I’ll see you later okay?” I stepped out of his grip and walked back to the studio.    Junior didn’t offer much comfort when I was having my mental breakdown. On the contrary, I was more comfortable and safe in the car talking to G.Soul, yet why the heck did I imagine his voice?    Was it because he had seen me at my worst and formed this connection?    Ugh.   Poor boy.    I need to leave him out of my mess of a life.    I took a deep breath and turned the nob to the studio. I jumped when I felt the door hit something. I blinked and poked my head through and saw Yugyeom on the floor rubbing his forehead as the boys, including JB, laughed their asses off. I quickly crouched down next to him and rubbed his forehead, “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Yugyeom’s face turned red and I tried not to crack a smile at his embarrassment.    “Quick hit me with the door” I heard Bambam whisper, but when I looked up at him he was rubbing his head from being struck by Junior. “I’m fine, Noona”, Yugyeom said, standing up from quickly, leaving me on the floor. “You sure?” I put my bad hand on the ground to lift myself up and yelped in pain.    “Noona!”   “You okay?”   “Help her up!”   I used my good hand to wave them off. “I’m fine”. I started to get up again, but this time, I had about 6 hands on both my