Junsu watches the crowd of students with a half interested look. It’s the school dance, the last one for this term.
The local disco started doing this some time ago, after one very successful dance organised as a fund raiser by some students. Now, the disco organises dances on its own and keeps all the profit. Usually one at the end of every three months.

Junsu only started attending because he finally convinced his mother that nothing bad would happen; that he would not misbehave; that these things were really just standing around talking and listening to music. The one lie he had told was that last part, about how this was innocent, it was very far from it. But for him it was actually quite innocent since he had no one to lead him astray.

He sighed.
He had spent almost a year trying to convince his mother to let him come to his first dance. At least this time it only took him three months. Junsu sipped his non-alcoholic drink with another sad sigh. So much for his dreams of what attending a dance would bring him. So far, all he had achieved was some fun times dancing and talking with his friends and watching way too many people making out.

Watching that many people make out was depressing. That’s why right now he was standing against a wall, all alone in a little corner, just watching his class mates and school mates partying away.

Junsu caught sight of Yvonne, his class friend apparently had found herself another boyfriend. He almost wanted to punch the wall. How the hell did she made it look so effortless and easy? Yvonne had always seemed to be rather like him, a little shy, a little awkward. He had never seen her talk with boys. Suddenly, she had found a boyfriend and now she was this sort of man-eater. By his accounts, this was guy number three in a month and a half.

His own little group of close friends was sitting in a cluster of sofas on a dark corner of the wide dance floor: Jaejoong and Yoochun. Only Yunho was somewhere else at the moment.
Jaejoong was, as always, surrounded by a group of girls batting their eyelashes at him. They flirted shamelessly, each one trying to outshine the other. The display of legs, and s was so over the top it lost any iness they intended for. And Jaejoong was a tough audience.

Junsu knew very well that his friend judged them harshly, more often than not deeming then unworthy of his attention. The young man was too sure of his attractiveness to accept anything less than what he thought he deserved. Regardless of how he never gave his attention for more than a few days, at the most, to any lucky (or unlucky girl); they would always come back for more; always fooled by his sweet smiles and soft spoken words.

Slightly behind Jaejoong, and wearing his usually hopeless adoring eyes, was Yoochun. It always made Junsu very uneasy to see Yoochun like that. He may adore Jaejoong as a good friend to laugh with, but it’s with Yoochun that he feels more connected.

Yoochun is the only one with enough patience and empathy to listen to his ramblings and to keep him company when he is sad. However, that man’s crush on their friend Jaejoong was a serious case of headache for Junsu. It was a train wreck waiting to happen.

Junsu could not help but cringe remembering how Jaejoong would always accept Yoochun’s company only to completely ignore him when his adoring harem shows up.
Unwilling to keep his eyes on his friend sad face, while the other is just basking in the clueless adoring girl’s eyes, Junsu takes a walk around the room.

Secluded in a very dark corner, he spots Yunho with his hands full of cheeks. Unlike Jaejoong, Yunho has made his choice clear to everyone. He wanted Hyuna and no one else. Junsu wonders for a few seconds how they can possibly breathe with their mouths glued like that.

Continuing his tour of the room, Junsu keeps having to avoid making out couples, glasses of beer and cigars loosely held in danger of causing damage, and drunken dancers.
Suddenly, the music is too loud and he decides he needs fresh hair.
Outside, the cold night air is like a balm on his senses. Junsu looks at the stars in the sky and smiles to himself thinking about what they may hide. Right now, he’s pretty sure whatever it may be, it has to be more interesting than being bored and alone when he’s surrounded by some many people.

After some time, Junsu decides to return to his favourite hobby: having crushes on cute hot guys. If he can’t have the real thing, he will sure as hell milk his imagination for all it is capable of.

Once again inside the crowded ballroom, Junsu moves around, hoping to find a group of friends with whom he can dance with. There are always some brave souls that simply dance in a circle, oblivious to the pairs around them.
But luck is not on Junsu’s side. As soon as he spots a circle he can join, the loud thumping music fades away and a slow love ballad makes its way into the speakers, effectively emptying the dance floor of half the people. Junsu sags against a column, feeling defeated.

This is always the worst part about these school dances: the feared slow dance. Junsu looked around the room at all the boys and girls suddenly looking shy, awkward and hopeful, pretending to not watch the dancing couples with envy in their eyes.

Junsu almost throws his hands in the air and goes to get another drink. As he is moving through the added amount of people hanging near the walls, he spots a very tall striking boy: Changmin.

Tall Changmin. Ridiculously good looking Changmin. Cute Changmin. Junsu’s eyes sparkled at the sight.

He had three crushes at the moment, well, more like three guys he specially found y and hot. There was Siwon on his own class, although he was always wrapped around Heechul he still had a dreamy body to stare at from the corner of his eyes. There was an unknown guy who caught the bus at the same hours and helped Junsu keep his eyes entertained during the boring ride. But they all palled in comparison to Changmin.

Changmin was way more exciting. Their two classes joined for French lessons since not everyone has chosen that subject. That meant French had become his favourite lesson even if he never paid much attention to the teacher. His seat afforded him a good view of Changmin at an angle that didn’t make it suspicious that his face was always turned that way. Junsu chuckled at how he just looked focused on the teacher when he was always checking the tall boy in reality. And then he would also spot the boy outside in the corridor before every lesson because their two classes had lessons next door to each other.

Junsu moved to the bar, making sure to pass nearby Changmin so he could have a better look. He had mastered the art of checking out, without being noticed, that even Yoochun, who knew him best, noticed none of his crushes, except the one from the bus that Junsu didn’t bothered to hide.

Changmin didn’t seem to see him as he moved to the dance floor, then, suddenly, out of nowhere, Changmin stopped right in front of Junsu.

Junsu looked up very surprised and incredulous that Changmin seemed to be acknowledging him. They had spoken but only a few times and only in a wider group outside French lessons.
With his heart beating fast at the unexpected closeness, Junsu smiled and nodded shyly at the taller boy.

Changmin smiled brightly at Junsu and approached his face just enough to be heard over the music.
-Do you wanna dance with me?

…

Junsu eyes blinked rapidly, mouth slightly open; thinking he must have heard wrong, his mind going blank. Before he had become fully aware of what was happening, he felt his lips move to utter a low automatic default response.
-No.

...

The smaller boy screamed inside his head, not believing he just screwed up his one chance in a million. Him and his automatic responses. Why is it that he will always answer “no” at everything he’s asked without even listening to the question?

His brain was repeating like a mantra: “please ask me again”. Junsu had no idea what face he was wearing in those agonizing seconds before Changmin said anything. He wanted to face palm or hit his head against a wall seeing how the taller boy had lost his smile after hearing “no”.

Some god above must have taken pity of Junsu because Changmin took a deep breathe, pretended to pay attention to the music and then looked down again at the smaller boy with a blinding smile.
-You’re right. This music is ending anyway. Do you want to dance the next one?

This time Junsu nearly bite his lips to prevent himself from saying any stupidity. He breathed deep in relief and his head was filled with a loud repeat of “say yes; say yes; say yes”.
-Yes.

...

Junsu wanted to jump in triumph. He did it. He said yes. Wait, he thought, to what did I said yes to. It was as if he was watching himself from the outside; as if he was watching this happening to someone else; it was just so unreal.
-Let’s go.

Changmin made to move to the dance floor, not caring anymore if the song playing was over or not and Junsu blindly followed, closely behind, too much in awe of the tall boy to say anything.

Mind blank, he stopped in front of Changmin as soon as the other boy turned back to look at him. Junsu stared for a few seconds before his brain clicked back into functioning mode. He mentally told himself what steps to do:

01-raise arms;
02-approach;
03-place hands in his shoulders;
04-put face closer to the side of his neck instead of looking straight up;
05-slowly move feet accordingly to his movements;
06-breathe;
07-try to keep a heart rate within human parameters;
08-answer if he asks anything;
09-hide how giddy silly happy and nervous you are;
10-please, please behave in a sensible manner.

…