Chapter 26

            Cold.  It was cold, almost as if she was still surrounded in snow.  She could feel the snowflakes on her face.  She could feel the sticky wetness of blood on her hands.  She could feel Soyul’s lifeless body in her arms.

            Jaejoong held Gummi tighter as she shivered.  She buried her face deeper into his chest, unable to cry, unable to free herself from the memory of just a few hours ago.  The both of them stood still in the dark, gloomy resting room of Chrome Headquarters.

            When she trembled again, Jaejoong the back of her head and tried to hold her still.  “Gummi-ah…she isn’t dead.”

            “I…I know.”  Every word she spoke felt so difficult to say.  Every part of her body and mind felt frozen.  “But, oppa…You weren’t there.  You didn’t see…Her heart stopped beating.  She was…d…dead.”

            “Soyul is strong,” he whispered.  “She’ll get through this surgery.  You rescued her just in time.”

            “But…did I?”

            As the memory replayed so vividly in her mind, Gummi wondered if there was anything else she could have done to give Soyul a better chance of survival.  Plunging that syringe of adrenaline into Soyul’s heart was the most terrifying thing she had ever done.  It helped her regain a faint pulse.  But it took such a long time bringing her to Headquarters for further medical treatment.  Did too much time pass?

            “She…She can’t die,” Gummi declared, hugging Jaejoong firmly.  “She’s my friend.  One of the closest friends I’ve ever had in my life.  And if she dies…it will be my fault.”

            “Gummi-”

            “If I’d been more careful, the Ahjussi wouldn’t have known that I loved you,” she explained regretfully.  “He wouldn’t have had such a power over me.  He wouldn’t have had anyone to trade for The Nine.”

            “He would have found someone else,” Jaejoong insisted quickly.  “Besides, Gummi-ah, this isn’t your fault.  The only person at fault is the man who shot Soyul.  Without his evil intention, none of this would have happened.  Don’t you see that?”

            She looked up at his bruised face.  The cuts on his forehead were scary to look at, but they were mild.  A gash on his left cheek required five stitches that she had to sew herself.  She raised her hand to his face and let her fingers hover just above his dreadful wound.  As he looked away dismally, she felt a few warm tears fall down her face.

            “And you.”  She finally pulled her hand away, feeling unworthy to touch him.  “You didn’t need to go through this.  In the back of my mind, I always knew I was putting you in danger, but I never wanted to believe it.  I should have pushed you away a long time ago.”

            “Don’t ever think that,” he begged desperately.  “Even if I had to endure all of this again, even to the point of death, it would be worth it.  You mean more to me than whatever pain someone could put me through.”  He cupped her face into his calloused hands.  “What could I possibly do to explain that to you?  What will make you believe me?”

            She slowly reached up and took his hands.  “You keep saying that, but-”

            “I know you love me, Gummi-ah, but I love you as well,” he reminded.  “And it’s my choice to love you, despite all this chaos you’re involved in.  I don’t even understand everything that has happened…But I do know that I’ll stay with you through it all.  I’m frustrated by all the lies and confusion, but I’m even more distressed by the thought of losing you.”

            “Oppa…”  She put her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.  The sight of his beaten face was so painful in light of his devoted words.  As he pulled her closer, she couldn’t resist him.  Would she ever be able to protect him?

            The door of the room suddenly opened, and both Gummi and Jaejoong looked eagerly at the new visitor.  He was the doctor, an old man with kind, yet anxious, eyes.  Gummi found herself moving towards him with Jaejoong following her closely.

            “Doctor.  Is she okay?”

            “The surgery was successful,” he replied with a weak grin.

            “Successful?”  Gummi delayed her celebration, noticing the doctor’s worried expression.  “What’s wrong then?”

            “Before she arrived here, she lost a lot of blood,” he explained reluctantly.  “Though Choa’s blood provided a successful transfusion to help Soyul get through the surgery…Her brain didn’t get enough oxygen.  I’m afraid she’s fallen into a coma.”

            “She…She’s in a coma?”  Gummi felt her heart sink.  “Will she…Will she wake up?”

            “We can’t determine when or if she’ll wake up,” the doctor informed timidly.  “Depending on how much damage has been done, she may wake up right away, or even in a few days.  But, I should tell you…There’s a chance she may not wake up at all.”

            “…No.  No!  You can’t say that!”  As she lurched towards the doctor, Jaejoong wrapped his arms around her waist and held her back.  “How do you expect me to live without her?  She has to wake up!  She has to!  No!”

            She finally submitted to Jaejoong’s resistance and collapsed to the floor.  He sat down behind her as she sobbed loudly.  With shaking fists, she began to pound the cold, hard floor.          

            “No!” she cried.  “This can’t happen!  This can’t…”

            Jaejoong forcefully took her bruising hands in his and held them up against her stomach.  She struggled against his grasp, her whole body shaking with anger and despair.  Eventually, she leaned back in Jaejoong’s arms and reduced into uncontrollable tears.

            “This can’t happen…You have to wake up, Soyuli…Soyuli…please…”

*          *          *

            Even with the oxygen mask over her sleeping face, Soyul’s expression was peaceful and childlike.  Her bed sheets gleamed white under the bright fluorescent lights.  Ellin and the twins, who sat beside the bed anxiously, had taken time to make her as comfortable as possible.  Way had washed her tearstained face and brushed out her hair as much as she could, attempting to erase the marks of what Soyul had endured.  Choa, still exhausted from giving so much blood, watched quietly as tears slowly streamed down her face.  Because Gummi was rendered helpless by emotions, Ellin tried to step up as a temporary leader and stay strong.  But no one could stay strong now.

            “What happened on that plane, Soyul-ah?” Way asked shakily, running her fingers through Soyul’s hair.  “How could this have happened?”

            “Our Soyul is strong.”  Ellin covered her face with her hands and tried to continue.  “She’ll wake up…she…she will…”

            “When we said we’d risk our lives for The Nine,” Choa began gently.  “I never thought…I never thought we may actually die for them.”

            “Seohyun-ah!”

            Seohyun appeared in the doorway of the medical room.  She stared in at Soyul with shocked, teary eyes.  When Jessica ran up behind her and grabbed her arm, she had no reaction. The members noticed the large cast on her foot, and Way quickly rushed over to her.

            “Seohyun-ssi, you should rest,” Way insisted.  “You’re still recovering.”

            “I heard she was in a coma.”  Seohyun slowly moved over to Soyul’s bed.  She stopped only a foot away and wiped a tear from her face.  “I can’t believe it.  She risked her life for me.  And now she’s…like this.”

            “Seohyun, you really need to rest,” Jessica urged, gradually moving towards Seohyun.  “The doctor said that you should avoid as much stress as possible after such a traumatic experience.”

            “She-She’s right, Seohyun-ssi,” Choa said, nodding her head.  “You really shouldn’t be here.”

            “I…I shouldn’t be here.”  Ignoring Jessica’s orders, Seohyun sat down in a chair beside Soyul’s bed and took her hand.  “I shouldn’t be here, but Soyul saved me.”

            “Seohyun-ssi,” Ellin called softly.  “Did Soyul say anything before…before both of you were rescued?”

            Staring at Soyul helplessly, Seohyun shook her head.  “I won’t say it…I won’t need to say it.”

            “Say what?” Way asked anxiously.

            “Even after the Captain explained everything to us, it just doesn’t seem fair,” Seohyun began miserably.  “Here I am alive…and Soyul is in a coma.”

            “Don’t think like that, Seohyun-ah,” Jessica pleaded, placing her hands on Seohyun’s shoulders.  “Seohyun-ah, if you would have died…I don’t know what we would have done.”

            “Soyul wouldn’t want you to think that way,” Choa grinned feebly.

            Jessica looked curiously up at Ellin.  “Ellin-ssi, where is Gummi?”

            “The doctor said she’s on the verge of shock,” Ellin explained brokenheartedly.  “He almost gave her a sedative.  Jaejoong is trying to calm her down.  But…she feels responsible for everything.”

            Seohyun let out a long sigh and squeezed Soyul’s hand.  “I won’t tell them.  You can tell them yourself.  Okay?”

            “Seohyun, let’s go and let the girls be with Soyul,” Jessica suggested gently.  “We can visit later.”

            Giving an anguished grimace, Seohyun rose from her chair.  She took Jessica’s hand and reluctantly followed her out of the room.  Before they stepped out, she gave one last look at Soyul and blinked her red eyes hard.  Way watched frantically as they left.

            “What did she say?” she called.  “I want to know what Soyul-ah said!”

            Way stopped her calling immediately when Gummi slowly walked into the doorway.  She looked at her leader in shock, noticing her tracksuit still stained with Soyul’s blood.  Gummi’s eyes were filled with tears, and her body was tense.  But she stayed calm as she entered the room and walked towards Way.

            “Unnie,” Way cried, finally bursting into tears.  She wrapped her arms around Gummi and held her tightly.  “Unnie, are you okay?”

            Gummi couldn’t take her eyes off of Soyul as she hugged Way.  “I’m…”

            Realizing Gummi’s fascination, Way released her and led her over to the bed.  Gummi sat down next to the bed and stared into Soyul’s childlike face.  She gently brushed her fingers across her cheek.

            “Soyul-ah…I’m sorry.”

            “Unnie, don’t talk like that,” Ellin requested swiftly.  “Please don’t talk like that.”

            “I love you, Soyul-ah,” Gummi wept.  “Please wake up.”

            “Unnie, should you really be here?” Ellin asked hesitantly.  “Just a little while ago, the doctor told us you weren’t doing too well.”

            “I’m fine,” Gummi claimed breathlessly.  “I just…I need to see Soyul.”

            “…Okay.”

            “You must be tired, unnie,” Choa proposed.  “Are you sure you don’t want to rest?”

            “I said I’m fine,” Gummi replied crossly.  Her fiery eyes soon reduced to misery as she looked at Choa’s surprised expression.  She shook her head and took Choa’s hand.  “I’m sorry, Minjin-ah.  I’m so sorry.”

            “It’s okay, unnie,” Choa assured, squeezing Gummi’s hand.  “I understand.”

            With remorse overwhelming her, Gummi turned back to Soyul.  Her hand hovered over Soyul’s head, just as it did with Jaejoong.  She tenderly placed her hand on Soyul’s forehead and leaned towards her.  Wearily staring down at Soyul, she began to remember every moment they ever had together.

            “When I first met you,” she began quietly.  “You were like a little child to me.  I took care of you when you were hurt.  I fed you when you were hungry.  Still…it feels the same way.”

            Way whimpered next to Gummi, took her arm, and leaned on her shoulder.  Ellin placed her head on the bed next to Soyul and cried into the sheets.  Choa only closed her eyes and tried not to become overwhelmed by Gummi’s words.

            “I’ve tried to take care of all of you,” Gummi continued cheerlessly.  “Soyuli, you were-are the youngest.  And you’ve always been the strongest of us.  Without you…I don’t think I can go on.  You have to come back.”  She gave a somber chuckle.  “I still remember the time we were in Australia.  The Captain was forcing us to climb that huge bridge, don’t you remember?  It was your biggest fear.  You were screaming all the way up and all the way down.  All of us were at least somewhat afraid, right?  But we were able to complete the challenge because…we had each other.  We’re all here together right now, Soyuli.  You can overcome this.”

            The four members stared at Soyul eagerly, waiting for some kind of response.  They had forgotten every other concern they ever had.  All they could ever want was Soyul to return to them.  But she lay motionless, peacefully asleep.

            A tear fell from Gummi’s face onto Soyul’s cheek.  Gummi carefully wiped it away and leaned closer.  “Soyuli…I promise to take better care of you.  Even if you’re in this bed for the rest of your life, I won’t let you down anymore.  Unnie will take care of you…I love you.”

            Gummi listened carefully to Soyul’s heartbeat on the monitor.  It was slow and steady, just as it should be during sleep.  But this was no ordinary sleep.  This was a monstrous sleep that threatened to consume you entirely and steal you away forever.  Just the thought of never seeing Soyul smile and laugh again made Gummi’s heart ache.  She closed her eyes again and leaned back in her chair.

            “Un…Unnie…”

            Soyul’s ghost-like voice filled Gummi’s ears, and she was sure it was the result of her wishful thinking.  Her heart throbbed angrily in her chest, hearing that voice so clearly in her mind.

            “Unnie.”

            Gummi’s heart leapt out of her chest at the sound of Soyul’s voice yet again.  She opened her eyes and stared at Soyul’s unmoving body with fervor.  “Soyul-ah?”

            The steady beeps of the heartbeat monitor quickened, and Ellin and the twins shifted forward anxiously in their chairs, keeping their eyes on Soyul.

            “Soyul-ah?” Gummi called softly, leaning towards her again.  “Soyul-ah, can you hear me?”

            Everyone’s heart beat faster as Soyul’s eyes began to slowly open.  Her tired eyes were barely tiny slits staring up at them. 

            “Soyul-ah!” Gummi cried, taking Soyul’s hand.  “You’re awake!”

            “Unnie.”  Soyul’s little eyes quickly became teary.  “I love you too, unnie.”

            Gummi looked down at her beloved maknae with uncontainable joy as the other members came closer to Soyul.  Every fear wiped away from her mind as she held onto Soyul’s hand.

            “Soyul-ah, I was so afraid!” Way exclaimed.  “You scared us so bad!”

            “Never do that again!” Ellin demanded. 

            Everyone smiled as Soyul gave her innocent grin underneath her oxygen mask.  “Okay, unnie.  I’ll try not to.”

            “Really, Soyul-ah,” Gummi whispered, tears of joy pouring down her face.  “We’d never be the same without you.”

            Soyul nodded her head feebly, adoration beaming in her eyes.  “I know, unnie.”