For a moment, she did not speak, her eyes wide and wet. Then, a broad smile bursting on her face, she threw her arms around Jaejoong, pulling him close.

“Hero!”

“Ana!” Jaejoong cried, pulling his hand out of Yunho’s. He nearly danced in her arms and buried his face in her shoulder, saying in a muffled voice. “Ana-Ana!”

She had not seen Yunho. And Jaejoong saw only her in his glee at seeing his cousin.

Behind them both, Yunho remained-seeing nothing at all. Not the excitement of his brother on seeing Ana, nor the joy in the young woman upon seeing the boy she had loved over the years. His hands clenched tight at his side, Yunho remained between the walls.
* * *
His head swam and odd lights sparkled before his eyes. For a moment, Yunho wondered if he should faint. Staggering somewhat to the side, the young man leaned against a wall for support, passing a cold hand over his forehead, upon which beads of sweat were beginning to start. At this moment he was glad no one seemed to notice him, not even as Ana led Jaejoong into the house, leaving Yunho alone on the front porch. Alone with his thoughts. Alone with himself.

He must master this. Here in the house from which he left with such a proud head and steady step-the prodigal. Left to show everyone what he could do, to show them all that he needed no one-that the promise he made he could keep. His hands, his struggles, his will, his determination-these were all he relied on for they were enough. Enough to raise walls so high and mighty that he and Jaejoong might be safe. And Yunho would let none touch him; for there were none who could do what he could. None with his strength.

At least, until now. Standing there, he felt as if all his senses were streaming out from him, bursting through his fingertips. The strength he stood so haughtily upon crumbled beneath Yunho now, leaving him tottering upon a precipice. Ready to fall, it would require only one touch, one well-meaning touch to send him over the edge.

Staring down at what seemed to be a yawning gulf, Yunho’s thoughts became wild. He fancied how eager they would be to see him fall. How much delight they would take in seeing the proud Yunho wince and wither. Because he had hurt them, they would hurt him. Of course. They would push him down and take Jaejoong from him. Then, buried in the dust, Yunho would be forced to watch as they lavished all their so-called affections on Jaejoong-affections they had not thought to have years ago. And he would see Jaejoong, blind to all around him, lap up their love, like a grateful puppy. And Yunho, dust choking his throat, his hands out-stretched could only watch stricken and fallen-like a fool. A timid touch shocked Yunho out of his reverie. Ana, looking very concerned, asked if Yunho wanted to come in now. Everyone was very anxious to see him.

The entire family was indeed there. All the aunts and uncles and cousins, they all had come for this family reunion. Every inch of room was taken up by smiling faces and filled with loud voices, giving proof that the happier we are, the more we smile and the louder we become. A strange and comforting sight where no matter which way one turned, they were to see a familiar face, or even if the face itself was not particularly familiar one felt that kindred spirit, that instant belonging which can only exist in the family. At the heart of it all, stood Jaejoong, his laughter blossoming over the room like an effervescent perfume, tickling and dancing around all. His face had never been so bright. It was as if the glow that always moved with him throbbed and unfurled wings long kept folded. For these wings were attached to his heart and now as smiling faces and gentle faces gathered around him, hugging him, kissing him, Jaejoong’s heart swelled with joy, causing his wings to unfurl. The dark eyes shone like a velvet midnight studded in stars. No matter where Jaejoong looked, some tender face turned to greet him. Oh and the children! Dancing around him as if he were some fantastic prince, some wonderful being who might shake gold dust off his feet and talk to animals, the children called to him, pleaded that he come outside and play. That he tell them a story. Sing them a song. For they knew his magic was real.

On the far end of the room, Yunho had never seen his brother so happy. And it was not the giddy glee of a new toy or some passing thing. Not even the excitement of a long-awaited outing. The joy radiating from Jaejoong’s face now was of a wholly different kind, as one who hears music for the first time. Or one who sees snow fall on a crisp winter’s night. Perhaps the look of one who has long been parched and leans back to find a gentle stream of water bathe their face. Across the room, Yunho stood, unnoticed by all, watching Jaejoong and it was at that moment something struck him deep within. A quick hot dart straight through to his heart so fast that Yunho could not even wince under the pain. All he could do was remain the target-like a fool.

“Yunho!” A husky voice called him. “Yunho! Come here boy, don’t stand there like a statue,” called a gregarious voice belonging to one of the uncles.

Starting as if awakened, Yunho shook his head and came forward, glad to find he still knew how to smile. “Uncle Heen, it’s good to see you,” Yunho answered, extending his hand, which Uncle Heen disregarded, yanking Yunho into a hug.

Clapping Yunho on the back, the old man replied laughing, “Well now, I’d never have known this was that little guy who used to pout when I got him a tie every year for Christmas. And,” here Heen turned to Jaejoong, his voice growing soft, “I can’t believe this is Hero.”

Jaejoong blushed, tugging on his uncle’s arm to make him stop. “Uncle! Pleeeeeze!”

Uncle Heen continued, winking at Jaejoong, “Why I bet he has dozens of girlfriends! Am I right Hero?”

The blush suffused straight to Jaejoong’s ears and he buried his face in Uncle Heen’s shoulder. And from behind Yunho whispered a well-known voice:

“He really does look wonderful Yunho.”

“Thanks Ana.”

Turning, Yunho saw the soft light in her eyes, saw how hard she tried now to show him just how much she cared and how much she meant what she said. In fact, it seemed to Yunho as if the young woman might be trying to say something for everyone gathered at the house today, as if she was apologizing for them all. She wanted to say how much she, how much they, all really did care, no matter what Yunho might have thought in past years. And looking at her, at the wide soft eyes, it would have been very hard for Yunho to try and say that she did not mean it. But the years had been long, much too long for a simple “I’m sorry” to be enough now. For she-they did not understand. And they never would. However, meeting her gaze in the crowded room with laughter and mirth all around the, Yunho smiled and thanked her.

Jaejoong’s laughter ringing from behind proved that the children had finally gotten their way and succeeded in pulling Jaejoong into another part of the house to play a game. Glancing back, Yunho saw his brother dance off in a cluster of small bodies. And almost as if it were planned, right then as Jaejoong’s melodious laugh faded down a hallway, Yunho heard a cold voice call to him. There was no need to turn around, no need to look and see, for he knew. Knew from the shiver that suddenly aded his whole frame and the mist that passed in front of his eyes. It was Aunt Yee. The woman who, in the name of charity, locked Jaejoong in the basement for eight hours a day so “he won’t hurt himself.” The woman who called Jaejoong “her poor retarded nephew.” Aunt Yee who, without ever laying a hand on either of them had worked wounds that, on dark nights, Yunho and nursed-renewing a promise. Clutching his hand into a fist, Yunho came round to face this woman whose charity had been a nightmare. Whose benevolence took all of Yunho’s boyhood years in stride. This woman who made him grow up before he ever got a chance to be a child.

Time had done much to Yee. Though she had always been perceived as a handsome woman, the features that had once held a stoic charm receded with age. Highly arched eyebrows were marred by a pensive wrinkle just underneath. Her eyes suffered dark circles below them and no amount of make-up could bring back to the skin any tinge of youth. Perhaps to make up for it, Yee now dressed in loud patterned dresses bedecked with equally bold jewelry, topping everything off with her hair highly coiffed atop her head.

Coming towards Yunho with the dignity of a duchess, Yee extended her hand towards him and smiled saying, “My Yunho. So, you finally decided to grace the family with your presence. We’re all very glad to see you.”

His hand still tight at his side, Yunho dug his fingernails deep into his palm and struggled to speak. “Yes,” he hissed, “It has been a long time.” Yunho paused, making no attempt to hide the fact that he was ignoring the hand extended to him. “Sometimes I think not long-”

However, Yunho did not finish the sharp comment he was about to make for no sooner had he began than he heard Jaejoong call to him excitedly, “Yunho! Yunho come and see! See what we’re playing! Hurry!”

Looking past Yee, Yunho saw Jaejoong running down the hall, his expression bright as he clapped his hands. Suddenly, as if pushed from behind, the frigid stupor Yunho had been under snapped and he bolted forward towards Jaejoong-to catch him. To catch him in time, before Jaejoong saw Aunt Yee without Yunho by his side.

During the entire drive here, out of all the thoughts to plague him, the one he had not dealt with was the idea of this moment, when Jaejoong would see his aunt again. Granted, in those days Jaejoong’s mind was in such a state there was really very little he connected to. In fact, it seemed as if all his energy was expended in adjusting to his new self. Given that, Yunho had some hope that Jaejoong may have very little memory of Aunt Yee. However, Yunho knew that every morning, after he left for school-Yunho knew hers had been the face Jaejoong saw at the top of the stairs right before the basement door shut and Jaejoong was left alone.

Practically lunging, Yunho rushed to stop Jaejoong from coming any farther. But there were too many people and Yunho could not move fast enough. All at once, the young man saw his brother stop and the gentle face contort as if he heard an awful sound. Jaejoong shook his head to shake away the sound, the slender hands quickly covering his ears. Yee moved forward towards Jaejoong smiling, seeing not that for every step she took towards him, the more violent became the shaking, the harsher Jaejoong clutched at himself. With an effort Yunho reached out, catching Jaejoong around the shoulders, pulling his brother close to him, shielding him.

“Jae, I’m here,” Yunho whispered, rubbing his back. “I’m here, Jae. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Yunho-I-I don’t,” Jaejoong gulped for air to speak. “I don’t feel good. I-I-Yunho!” Jaejoong cried, burying his face in Yunho’s chest.

Aunt Yee spoke, “Good gracious! Is that any way to say hello to me, Hero? Ah, he hasn’t changed a bit,” she concluded to herself, laughing somewhat.

Are you all so sorry? So sorry that you never did more. In mercy’s name, you have done enough.

No, I can’t forget this. I can’t accept your apology.

Violent words were on Yunho’s lips as he felt his brother’s body heave and shudder; however, though Yunho had not noticed it, much of the family saw the passing episode. And before Yunho spewed poison, Uncle Heen came over with Ana a step behind. Uncle Heen hooked his arm through Aunt Yee’s mentioning something about the house tour she promised everyone, while Ana came over to Jaejoong and began to the silken hair, whispering that she wanted to see what game Jaejoong was playing too.

Muffled words came in response, “Bmuff Mi don meel goo.”

“Please Hero,” she said. “Yunho’s coming too. We’ll both go.”

“Ana,” interrupted Yunho. “Go on. I’ve got him.”

Yet, to Yunho’s surprise, Jaejoong looked up and though he still pressed himself very close to his elder brother, he asked, “You want to see the game, Ana-Ana? And Yunho will come too?”

“Of course,” she replied. “Me and Yunho will come.”

The dark eyes blinked once, and then again. Then Jaejoong stood up straight and in an instant, as if there had been no break in-between his running down the hall moments ago to get Yunho and now, Jaejoong clapped his hands and skipped off.

And once again, Yunho was alone.