With one hand balancing several bags of groceries

and the other fumbling to get the key out of his pocket, Yunho stood in front of the door at home, a bouncy Jaejoong by his side. No matter what, even if he had only been out of the house for one hour, Jae was always more than ready to come back inside. Of course, Yunho would have appreciated his impatience more if his brother would have offered to take a bag or unlock the door himself. Yet, Yunho had a strange sort of pride that he could succeed at this game every time.

By the time Jae was practically dancing, Yunho unlocked the door. He stepped back, history had taught him well not to be the one standing in Jae’s way when the door opened, and let his brother burst through the entrance like a line-backer in a football game. He watched Jaejoong race up the stairs to disappear in his room. Every time he came home, Jaejoong ran to his room to say “hello.”

The coast being clear, Yunho walked inside and hurried to the kitchen to relieve himself of all the bags of groceries. Carefully, his packages precariously stacked by that idiot at the check out line, he put them down hoping those eggs at the top wouldn’t fall out. And he wondered why those clerks always managed to put the most fragile item either where it could possibly be lost, or at the very bottom of the bag under the potatoes.

His pondering of this rather useless thought lasted only a minute before Jaejoong came into the kitchen. Yunho looked at him and saw a concerned expression on his brother’s face. Time and many emotional days and night had taught Yunho never to ignore or make light of Jae with a serious look upon his face. All things considering, Jae was a very well adjusted young man. And the horror stories one might hear of those with disabilities, stories of violence, self-inflicted violence, emotional meltdowns over slight things like a change in schedule, were unheard of with Jaejoong. His emotional stability was a sure thing. Except in two cases.

The first of these was Yunho himself. Jaejoong could not bear to be without Yunho for prolonged intervals of time. Jae understood that Yunho had to go to work, but often enough Yunho went to work while Jae was at school, so there was never an issue. But if Yunho had to really go somewhere, Jae had to come with or, at least, be able to call Yunho and hear his voice. Yunho never forgot the time when he had to go out of town on a business trip. Taking Jaejoong along was not an option and he had Yoochun come to stay with him. The only way to reconcile Jae with this was to let him call Yunho every hour on the hour. And Yunho would never forget, or forgive himself, for the time he had gone out without telling Jae. Truth be told, he was only gone some fifteen minutes-just to the gas station and back. But when he got home, Jaejoong was on the floor, howling, his breathing irregular, his limbs getting stiff. That incident was one of the few times, Yunho had to use a sedative on his brother. That day, he swore to himself, or another one like it, would never happen again.

The second instance Jaejoong had trouble dealing with were other people being angry or upset. Strong emotions unhitched something inside of him, made him lose the sense of security he always had. Yunho may be worried about things, but he never demonstrated it to his brother. For if Jae witnessed tension and it was not resolved, he would sit on the floor, refusing to speak.

So, when Yunho saw his brother come into the kitchen with a strange expression, Yunho was quick to ask what the problem was.

“Jae, what’s wrong?” He came over to him, putting a reassuring hand on Jae’s shoulder.

Nervously rubbing one of his arms, a sign Yunho knew very well, Jae replied, “Yunho, I listened to the message machine. Sheri called. She’s mad at you.” His eyes were very wide.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Yunho mumbled to himself.

“What?”

“I said I’ll call her back right now,” he answered.

Sheri was Yunho’s girlfriend. Her opinion of how much time he spent with her and how much he should spend with her was the subject of countless fights. Lately, she seemed to be getting less and less patience with what she considered to be his neglect of her.

While I call her, Jae, can you start putting the food away?”

A brighter expression lit the young man’s face. “Oh yeah!”

Yunho started to leave the room. “Jae,” he called, “Don’t leave the eggs out on the counter to hatch this time.”

“Okay, okay.”

“And Jae-don’t pick one for a pet either.”

“Okaaaaay!”

Yunho knew that leaving his brother to put the food away meant he would have to put it away again. The incident of the eggs on the counter occurred one week when Jae’s classroom had baby chicks in an incubator to watch them hatch. So, Jae left the eggs out at home to do the same thing. It was a painstaking effort on Yunho’s part to explain to Jae that there some eggs that hatched and some that didn’t. And Yunho had to call Jaejoong’s teacher that night and beg her never to explain to Jae that the chickens he saw on the farm, were the same ones frozen in bins at the store. There was good reason as well to never let Jae know Yunho’s leather jacket used to say “moo.”

Sheri’s message sounded upset indeed. Thankfully though, Yunho failed to understand what she was saying exactly. But it wouldn’t be anything that a couple of “yes dears” couldn’t fix.

A few moments after Yunho hung up with his perturbed girlfriend, he heard Jaejoong’s voice at the bottom of the stairs. Coming down, he saw Jae standing with a book in his hand. Story time. Always, when Jae came home from school, and generally right before dinner, Jaejoong wanted to be read to. And from his favorite book. “The Secret Garden” by Francis Burnett. Jae, himself, had read the book countless times and always wanted to hear Yunho read it to him.

“Yunho?”

“Yea, yea. Coming.”

Excitedly, Jae ran over to the couch in the living room. Yunho sat down alongside him as Jae handed him the book. And, like the child he truly was, Jaejoong curled up, laying his head in Yunho’s lap. Yunho felt a pang in his heart whenever Jae did this. And, with a trembling hand, he the soft dark hair.

“Now,” he asked, “Where were we?”

“Mary just came into the garden,” Jaejoong replied.

“Ah, right. Okay Jae here we go-”

‘It was the sweetest, most mysterious-looking place any one could imagine. The high walls which shut it in were covered with the leafless stems of roses which were so thick that they matted together. “No wonder all is still,” Mary whispered. “I am the first person who has spoken in here for ten years.” ‘

Yunho looked down. Jaejoong’s eyes were closed. He was asleep.