You lay in your bed, motionless, the next morning. Jin…… who was he to you then? He’d been your one and only best friend for so many years and now… You didn’t know what to think. He just outright confessed to you at the park. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he seemed sober enough at the time and sincere about what he was saying…. It was true, Jin was your other half. He knew you inside and out, how you ticked. You could always turn to Jin no matter what, knowing he’d be there for you. It worked the other way too. You two had been inseparable for years, but you never really developed feelings for him that crossed the line of friends. But Jin wasn’t bad looking either…… You were so confused with how you felt. You knew that you liked V alot. He was really dorky and goofy, but at the same time, he was sweet and loyal. V was that one “different” person you were missing in your life. You could hang out with him and learn so much about him each time; it was like discovering a new world. Every moment was exciting and new. Now being with Jin wasn’t boring or too monotonous for you, it was just… comfortable.

Jin and V. V and Jin. Your mind swirled around these two boys. What were you going to do? It would be weird to fall in love with your best friend… right?

Your phone rings and you look over to see the caller id. V. You pick up.

“Annyeong! How are you, _________? Did everything work out with your friend last night?”

“Ah, goodmorning, V! Uhm, yeah I guess you could say that. It’s complicated.”

“Ohhh, okay okay. I understand! At least you got home safely.”

You smile at V’s concern for your safety. He was so caring.

“So, are you free today, ___________?”

You think to yourself for a bit. It was too soon to see V again. You couldn’t see him today, especially with your thoughts swirling around with uncertainty in your head. Seeing him would only confuse you.

“Sorry, V, I can’t. I think I’m just going to stay in today. I’ll see you at school tomorrow though!”

“Aw… okay then…. See you, __________.”

You hang up and instantly feel bad for letting V down like that. He seemed so sad at the end. You were about to redial and reconsider but quickly decide not to. You couldn’t do this to yourself and definitely not to V. You couldn’t keep leading him on if you weren’t sure about your feelings.

You slowly tumble out of bed and notice that your mom had already left to work. Too lazy to actually cook or go out to get food, you saunter over to the kitchen, pajamas and all, to cook a nice hot bowl of ramen for yourself. Ramen always made you feel better.

Hot ramen in tow, you make your way to the couch with your laptop. Dramas were the perfect answer to your sorrows. It distracted you from your minor problems as you gawk over the outrageous drama problems. Snuggled up with a blanket and your noodles, you proceed to start a new drama.

Halfway into the first episode, you hear the doorbell ring. Too lazy to get up, you yell out.

“WHO IS IT?”

No one answers. The doorbell simply rings again. Frustrated, you reluctantly pause your drama, put your noodles down, and make your way towards the door. You open the door and see Jin standing in front of you. You’re horrified. You looked like hell in your hello kitty pajamas and uncombed hair. You quickly slam the door and attempt to fix your hair in the mirror besides the door. Then you open the door again; Jin was still standing there.

“Jin…. why are you here?”

“_________, I just wanted to apologize about last night… It was so unlike me to act like that, I know. But my life is such a mess. I hope you understand that I would never be stupid enough to do anything like that. Can you forgive me?”

“Uhm, yeah. Jin don’t worry about it. I understand how you must feel…..”

“Is your mom home? My mom told me to bring over some fresh kimchi that she made.”

“Ah, she’s already at work. You can bring it in.”

You move aside to let Jin walk in with the kimchi. He’s dressed so nicely today. He was wearing navy blue jeans, black and white basketball shoes, a white HBA tshirt, and a black varsity jacket with leather sleeves. He had a bad boy vibe all about him. Why had you never noticed how attractive he was before? You catch  yourself thinking about Jin in that way and shake your head quickly, trying to get the thought out of you head.

He puts the kimchi in the fridge and turns to you.

“So, I assume you aren’t doing anything today?”

“Oh, uh… I was actually about to go hang out with some friends!”

Jin looks out you with a doubtful expression, looking you up and down. You suddenly remember that you were still in your pajamas and quickly blush as he caught you in the obvious lie.

“You sure about that?”

“... No, I was lying as you can tell….. I was actually just staying in and watching dramas.”

“Since you’re not doing anything, do you want to go hang out? We can go to that snack bar that we always go to. We haven’t talked in so long. Think of it like catch up!”

You pause and think, considering his offer. It was true that the two of you hadn’t really had a good talk in a long time. You finally agree and nod.

“Okay, just let me change first! Go wait outside, I’ll be out soon.”

You rush over to your room and change into a comfortable outfit: black jeans, black converse, and a giant pink cat sweater with little ears on the hood. You swipe on some quick and easy makeup, brush your hair, and head out. You see him sitting at your stoop and lock the door behind you.

“Good to go!”

The two of you walk side by side towards the snack bar. You felt quite uncomfortable next to him. This had never happened to you. Normally, you would just be talking your head off and be teasing Jin about how his style was so “try-hard”. But this time, you were so careful. You wanted to choose your words carefully and try not to embarrass yourself. Jin noticed how awkward you seemed. He grabs your cat hood and pulls it over your head.

“Cat got your tongue? Loosen up, silly.”

You act annoyed at him and promptly try to walk ahead. He laughs at your childish action and grabs your wrist to pull you back.

“Nice try. You can’t get away from me that easy.”

The look in Jin’s eyes had changed. He was both joking and dead serious at the same time. You were unsure how to respond and focus on walking again.

Before you knew it, the two of you had arrived at the snack bar. The two of you sit at your usual table near the windows. The ahjumma that owned the store was very familiar with the two of you with the many frequent visits you two had been making since middle school.

“Ah, Jin-ah, ________-ah, long time no see! What do you two kids want to eat today?”

“We’ll just get our usual!”

“Okay. One kimbap and one ddukbokki coming up!”

The owner walks away and Jin refocuses on you. His eyes meet yours. Embarrassed, you quickly look elsewhere, trying to seem occupied with the sight outside. Jin laughs as your cheeks turn a burning red.

“Are you nervous about something, __________?”

“ANIYA! .. I mean, of course not…”

“Haha, babo, you know I can always tell when you’re lying.”

Damn. You forgot how well Jin knew you.

“So, _________, … how has it been with you and V?”

You could see how pained he looked when he asked the question.

“Ah, we’re just friends right now.. You know, V’s actually really nice, I don’t see why you can’t just reconcile your differences and be friends with him.”

“I know. After what happened with you, I realized how blind I’ve been. I was overtaken by my anger and self interest and didn’t give him a chance. If he’s as kind as you say he is, then I should trust you right?”

You smile at Jin’s efforts to reinforce your bond. He was never the type to stay angry for long. That’s what you loved about him, his understanding and calm nature.

The ahjumma then brings the food out just as he finished his sentence. The two of you begin to warm up to each other again and chatter continuously as the food on the plate slowly disappeared.

Jin paid the bill for the food and you got up to leave the store with him. Just as the two of you walked out the door, you see someone very familiar pass by you. It was V. He had a gorgeous girl by his side. She looked around the same age as you guys. She was dressed so fashionably and was so elegant. She was looking at V flirtatiously, hooking tightly onto his arm and giving him all the aegyo she could. He seemed smitten by her looks and charms. Your heart suddenly dropped. You felt so betrayed and could barely contain your anger, frustration, and despair. Suddenly V, looks over and sees you there. The two of you lock eyes for a second and the girl on V’s arm notices you.

“Oppa, who is she?”

“Ah, she’s just someone I know from school.”

Tears began to well up in your eyes. Was V just playing you? Your fragile, innocent heart felt like it was tearing in two. You thought you could love V. You thought he was different. Did you even know what love was then? Jin noticed your crumbling state and promptly grabs your shoulders and turns  you towards him. He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tear streaks on your cheeks and suddenly pulls your face towards his, locking your lips with his in a kiss. Your eyes widen with shock. Jin was kissing you. It was not normal peck either. It was strong, deep, and…. real. You could feel V still looking at you, but you didn’t care. You closed your eyes and let the moment linger.