Joo In sighed as she watches Chen hold Seorin’s hand. It’s been a day since she got admitted. It came as a shock for them as well as the boys. It was still clear in her mind how he reacted when Seorin’s personal Doctor arrived and diagnosed everything.

 

*Flashback*

 

“How is she? How did the results go?” Chen asked when her personal doctor went out of her the emergency room.

“Nothing has improved since her consultation and medication. It would have been better if she continued with her medicines, but she gave it up a year ago so we can’t just expect some miracle right?” he patted the confused Chen by the shoulder.

“Doctor Min, we are sorry, but can you get everything straight? I mean, we are not a close relative of Seorin, we just met her a few months ago so we really don’t understand what you are talking about,” Joo In looked at the doctor.

Doctor Min gave them a look before he sighed, “You see, Seorin had been fighting her way to heal from liver failure. She damaged her liver from an accident. Her transplant two years ago was a success but her health started to fail dramatically no matter how compatible the donor was. She was going through constant check-up and medicine maintenance but unfortunately, it never progressed. Her parents didn’t want to tell her about it but she overheard it. The next day, she decided to stop her check-up and medication to live her life as normal as possible,” Doctor Min looked at the Joo In.

“Then what would happen?” Joo In trembled when she asked that very question. Luhan and the twins went home to change and inform the others.

“Her check–up a few weeks ago shows that nothing happened except that her condition worsened. All we can do is just wait for her time. I guess that’s enough, her parents will soon arrive. Excuse me,” he gave them one last sad look before he went past the speechless Chen.

Joo In looked at him as tears fell down his very eyes.

 

*End of Flashback*

 

 

“Joo In-na,” Mrs. Go shook her back to reality.

“Ne,” she gave an apologetic smile.

“Don’t you have any work today? You had been staying her for the whole day. Your husband might get mad,” she sat beside her on the sofa near the door.

“Aniyo, he wouldn’t do that. Besides, I owe Seorin much,” she held the older woman’s hand.

A tear rolled down Mrs. Go’s face, “I am so sorry I had nothing to do to help her. I am the worst mother. If I didn’t just force her to go back in Paris, she would never leave the house and meet that accident. What would I do if Seorin-na would leave me? I would lose my own daughter,” she cried as Joo In moved closer to hug her.

“Don’t cry. It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Seorin would never like it t see you cry,” Joo In hushed the older one.

“If I didn’t force her too to get married with that guy, she would have been not in here but where she wants to be,” she sobbed again on Joo In’s shoulder.

 

Being a mother like her, she felt the pain of seeing your daughter suffer and all you can do is stare because even your hands that used to help her can’t do anything to heal her. The pain she felt when Janine asks for their father’s presence is heart breaking, how much more when all you can do is wait for her demise?

 

Later in the evening, Joo In bade them good bye. Mrs. Go went outside to collect some clothes while her husband works on getting the papers ready so they can move her to America. Chen stayed with her, still waiting for her to wake up.

 

Just as he wants, she finally opens her eyes. Chen was so happy to finally see her open those lovely eyes he had been waiting to see.

“Seorin-na, are you okay now?” he asked, holding her hand with both of his.

“Oppa,” she whispered faintly, turning her head to look at him.

“Ne, what would you want?” he asked not able to stop the tears escaping his eyes.

She gave a weak smile and slowly reached to wipe away his tears, “Don’t cry.”

That very phrase all the more made him sob as tears soon found its way to her eyes.

 

Both cried their hearts out. The helplessness they feel to help her recover; the pain both feels from the truth that there is really nothing they can do or the doctors can do; and the crucial reality both has to face that they are never meant for each other.

 

He had finally learned her intention of working in that mart. She started to be a fan after watching their music video ‘Growl’, the 2^nd Chinese version. Her eyes caught the sight of him that woke up the fan girl in her. She tried all her best to find a way to get to see him, but just as what she said in her letters, it’s either she will find the place when the event is already done or get lost on her ways to get there. Then, her parent’s decided to send her to Paris which led to the accident. She got nailed in the hospital for almost a year, then had to stay at home for the rest of time as they wait for a donor. When the transplant got successful, she was never allowed to leave the house for her constant check-up and medication. You can say that her family is really rich to afford all those treatment, but the painful part is that no amount of money can heal her failing condition.

 

A year ago, she stopped her medication, true to Doctor Min’s narration. She decided to live away from her parent’s life, which they allowed since that is all they can do for her; give her happiness. She applied on the small shopping mart a few blocks away from the boys’ dorm. She really doesn’t know about that information. She only learned it when Joo In and Chen went inside that shop on that very fateful day.

 

When she finally got transferred on a private room, he never left her bedside. The boys had to make up reasons and excuses for his sudden disappearance. They even connived with Seorin’s parents and asked them to act like Chen’s parents when their manager called for his parent’s. The Go’s number was the one they provided so their manager can talk to them. Good thing their cover was not blown.

 

Her parent’s finally learned about her real relationship with Chen. Although it’s not official, they are thankful that he was able to make her dream come true.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

It’s been almost a week since she got admitted; sad to note that her health continues to drop down. She would experience sleepless nights of pain as he stays with her, taking in her agonizing cries. He would tend to her till she finally dozes off. When she is already asleep, it’s his time to silently cry. His muffled cry would wake her up, but she would never let him see how it breaks her too.

 

The boys never failed to drop by everyday to check on both of them. They would joke around to cheer her up and bring along the twins whom she adores. They would just spend the day there, fooling around to help her forget about her condition. But once they are gone as Chen sends them out to the parking lot, tears would stain her face. She can’t help it but cry since nothing can help her recover and the pain of leaving someone she loves is more painful than the bite of death she will soon feel.

 

By Saturday the first day of December, she finally felt it come. It’s already nine in the evening when she felt her body dramatically weaken. She tried her best to put up a strong front when Chen came back after getting her a drink.

“Oppa,” she reached for his hand.

“Ne,” he smiled, sitting on her usual place beside her.

“Can you call the twins for me?”

Something about her words made him worry, “But it’s late already. Why?” he asked.

“I kind of miss them, please?” she pouted at him.

He let out a chuckle, “Arasseo. I’ll call Luhan so you can talk to him,” he said and dialed his friend’s number.

 

“Yeoboseo?” he called.

It was Joo In who received the call, “Ne, Jongdae! What made you call?” she asked.

“Seorin wants to talk to you,” he gave her the phone.

“Joo In-na, can I ask you to send the twins here? If they are still awake,” she tried her best to steady her weakening voice.

“Sure! Andy is here; would you want to talk to him before they get there?” Joo In replied.

“Sure,” then she heard shifting sounds before Andy’s little voice.

“Seorin Noona! Anyeong!” he happily greeted her.

A smile made its way on her lips, “Anyeong Andy-sshi. Would you want to come over here? Your Noona wants to play with you,” she pouted on the phone.

“Ne! Janine and I will come in there!” he exclaimed.

 

She heard Janine talking at the back. Then she heard Joo In calls Luhan. Later Joo In got the phone.

“They will be there in a minute. The twins are eager to see you,” she said.

“Thank you Joo In-na. I’ll end the call already,” Seorin replied.

“Ne, stay strong,” Joo In said before she ended the call.

 

“How did it go?” Chen asked when she returned the phone.

“They will be here in a minute. Oppa, would you please pick them up downstairs?” she requested.

“Aniyo, there will be no one beside you. Besides, they already know your room number; we will just wait for them in here, arasseo?” Chen held her hand.

“Please Oppa?” she pouted with blinking eyes.

“Seorin-na,” he warned her.

“Please Oppa?” she repeated, making him give in.

 

“Arasseo! I’ll go down and pick them up for you. Wait for me in here okay? Don’t sleep or else I will send the twins back,” he threatened but a smile was tugged on his lips.

She gave a nod, “Ne, I will,” she replied.

He pulled his orange beanie hat and made her wear it.

He stood up, still reluctant to leave her, “Don’t sleep or doze off,” he reminded her for the last time as he went over the door. He casts her one look as she waved him off with a smile on her face.

“Oppa,” she called her again which made him turn around.

“Should I stay?” he asked, holding the door knob.

“Aniyo! Oppa, naneun dangshineul saranghamnida!” she tried to give her best smile even though she can feel her strength wear off.

She was rewarded by a sincere grin from Chen, “I’ll go pick them up. They are probably down there.”

With that phrase he slowly closed the door.

 

He went to the nurse station, “Excuse me, can you please check over the patient on room 372. I’ll just have to get something downstairs,” he smiled on the nurse on duty. The staffs working in there are already used to see him walk in the hallway.

“Yes sir; I will look at her later after the patient on room 370. She’s actually the next on our nightly rounds,” the nurse smiled as Chen mumbled a thanks.

He then took the elevator to get to the parking lot. That is where the boys usually pass through to get inside. When he got there, the van is still not in sight so he went outside the lot and waited near the gate on the benches.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

The moment he closed the door, tears she had been holding back finally rolled down her face. She felt her strength being up every tear she sheds. She tries to take in air to calm herself, but somehow it hurt her instead. “Oppa, mianhe,” she whispered as she turns to look outside the window. Tiny white balls started to fall from the sky putting up a peaceful smile on her face as she finally closes her eyes for the last time, the same moment her heart stopped beating.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

While Chen is zipping up his jacket, the falling tiny snow made him stop and look up to see thousands falling more.

“Winter is here,” he whispered as he held up his hand.

“Jongdae Appa!” he whipped his head to see the twins running to get to him. He bent down and received a hug from the two of them. Luhan followed by closely, “How is she now?” he asked.

Chen smiled, “She is doing good. Shall we head up now? I bet she is getting impatient to see you,” he smiled holding the twins on his both side followed by Luhan.

“Jongdae Appa, I brought an orange scarf for you,” Andy showed him a white paper bag.

“Really? Thank you Andy-sshi!” Chen smiled down at the little boy.

“Jongdae Appa,” this time, it’s Janine’s turn, “I brought a pink scarf for Unnie. Mommy said winter is already coming so Unnie needs a scarf so she won’t get cold.”

“Your parents are so lucky to have children like you,” he complimented as they alight the elevator on the parking lot.

 

When they got on the third floor, they noticed the nurses and a few doctors walk past them in a rush. Luhan recognized Doctor Min.

“Chen, hurry up,” he said as he led the way. Chen got scared that he let’s go of the twins hands and rushed off to get to her room.

When he got there, the door is widely open as another nurse got inside. Fear started to nip his heart as he moved to get inside.

He was not wrong; the doctors are really inside her room. Luhan stayed by the doorway with the twins as Chen slowly gets inside to see her. Doctor Min is already standing beside the bed with a sad expression. Then he saw her peaceful figure, with her eyes closed.

 

“Seorin-na,” he started as if she would open her eyes from the call. “Andy and Janine are here, just as you want,” he slowly held her lifeless hand.

“Oppa, kept up with his promise to bring them,” he said, tears falling down his eyes, “Please wake up,” he begged, finally breaking down.

“Seorin-na, please wake up. They bought you a scarf, how would they feel if you would not wear it? Seorin-na,” he begged.

Everyone in the room felt the pain in his voice as he reaches to touch her face.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

The last person who went on the wake had finally left. The boys with Joo In and the twins stayed a little longer to be with Chen.

Mrs. Go called on Joo In, “Joo In-na.”

After keeping a safe distance, she wiped her tears, “Please let him rest. It makes me cry even more when I see him like that,” she sobbed as she cast a look over the distressed Chen.

 

During the wake, he had been silent; completely cold. Others thought he had gone mad since he barely shed a tear. For him, the pain is too much that shedding tears is not enough. He had gone numb no matter how the others try to engage him in a conversation. He would just stare back with that blank expression. It made the boys worried. Their manager finally learned the truth and the boys were much more willing to take his harsh sermon and words rather than have Chen take it too. Soon, he was able to understand Chen’s situation after giving the boys a long lecture.

 

Despite Joo In’s effort, Chen still decided to stay. The others already left, leaving only Seorin’s parents and Chen. He looked at the large frame picture in the middle of the room as tears finally made its way to his eyes. He soon broke into sobs as Mrs. Go slowly moved to join his mourning. “I was not able to tell her how I really feel. I’m so stupid,” he whispered letting his hands cover his crying face.

“Aniyo, Seorin already knows how you feel. Don’t feel burdened, she will not like that,” Mrs. Go sobbed as her husband moved out of the room for them not to see how his tears fall.

His sobs echoed in the room as the pains sears his heart, almost taking his breath away.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

After the burial, Chen finally went home. Seorin’s parent sent him home later around 9 in the evening. When he got inside the gate, he saw her pink scooter parked near the gate. His eyes got watery as he tries to suppress it, encouraging himself to get inside in one piece.

 

When he opened the door, the rest are all waiting by the living room.

“Joo In-na, can I stay for a while inside the twin’s room?” he asked Joo In without even greeting them.

“Ne,” Joo In replied as he went over to get inside the twins room.

 

Once he closed the door, Luhan looked at his wife.

“Did you the stereo?” he asked.

“Ne, Andy asked me to turn it on, wae?” she asked sitting beside him.

“What are playing when you left them?” he asked again.

“Janine found your album ‘Miracles in December’ so I put it on. It lulled the two of them in a minute,” she smiled.

The boys looked at her, “What?” she asked innocently. Luhan face palmed himself.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

Once the door got closed, he slid down and broke into tears. The pain finally settled in making him realize how painful it is to lose someone without even telling her how you feel. The pain starts to grip his heart tightly, choking him, making him breathless.

“Jongdae Appa,” he heard Andy whisper as his soft footsteps stopped in front of him. He wiped off the tears before looking at the little boy who bent down to look at him. Andy’s hand reached to wipe off a tear on his face. The feel of the small hand on his face broke his heart.

“Jongdae Appa, Noona said you should not cry. She asked me to wipe your tears. She said she would not be happy if you would cry,” Andy looked innocently at the crying man.

“When did she say that?” he asked.

“A while ago, when Mom left the room, I saw Noona sitting on my bed. She said she will be leaving to a beautiful place and so I must help her take care of you. She asks me to wipe your tears. Jongdae Appa, don’t cry, Seorin Noona will get mad at me,” he said over the shocked Chen.

‘Perhaps she said it on his dreams,’ he thought as he wipes off the tears on his face. “Come on; let’s get you to the bed. You need to be early tomorrow,” he said and lifts off Andy to his bed. He lay down beside the little boy as their song Miracles in the December lulled them both to sleep.