Yura lied on her bed, blinking at the roof. It was five in the morning but she was wide awake, wondering if he was asleep, dreaming about someone, or awake and thinking about someone. She had no idea why she was still awake, and why he was on her mind.

She closed her eyes and smiled, she could see his face everywhere and his voice echoed in her ears. She couldn’t stop thinking about it, it made her feel as if her head was about to explode. She rolled onto her side and grabbed her phone from the nightstand, a minute has passed, she was still thinking about him.

She buried her head into her pillow, she couldn’t remember how many times his name had popped into her head, all she could remember was that she was thinking of him over and over again. Sometimes she really hated how he was always on her mind, it always make her feel like she was the one that wanted him so badly, and she would always end up thinking if she was on his mind as much as he was on hers.

Sorry.

Yura sat up. That word. She thought and combed her hair back with her fingers. Sorry, was the first word he ever said to her, the very first word yet a word that a lot of people don’t like to hear, but she liked it. She rubbed her eyes and looked around her room, making out the silhouettes of the furniture. She wanted to scream and make all sorts of inhuman sound to express her feelings, but it was only five in the morning everyone was asleep except her and her mind, still wondering about him.

She leaned forward and dropped her head into her blanket. “Like me back, please?” she whispered.

Everything about him made her crazy, from his head to his toes. The way he looks around with an expression-less face when he’s not with the people he knows, but smiles with his eyes forming into a curve line when hanging out with his friends, the way he talks and laughs, and his voice, just everything about him made her smile. He was like some kind of burst of joy and happiness, whenever she sees him, or even thinks about him, her whole face automatically lights up and all she could do was smile, because she had no idea what else to do besides that. I hate you, but I love you, and need you. Half an hour passed by, Yura was still awake and, still, wondering.

Yura sat on her bed facing her window with her blanket wrapped around her. The sun was rising, the early birds were already chirping, and she could finally feel her eyelids slowly shutting. She crawled to her pillow and closed her eyes, but as soon as she closed them, she wasn’t sleepy anymore. She threw her blanket over her head and groaned, she hasn’t had any sleep due to the fact that she was wondering about him all night.

She popped her head out and stared at the ceiling, her brain was full of thoughts, about school and about him. Yura was always the child that didn’t need her parents to be going after her, asking her to do this and that, she knew she had a life to worry about, education to work hard on, and a future to plan out. But now, she couldn’t get back on track, get herself back to focus on something more important than him. She didn’t know what to do anymore, she wanted to just get her old self back and do whatever she does, but instead she was lying with her mind full of him.

She finally pushed herself up from her bed after lying there, staring into space for longer than she expected. She tied her hair up and made her way downstairs. Besides the birds outside, it was dead silence downstairs, she raised her eyebrows assuming everyone was still asleep. She stretched her arms out and walked into the kitchen, she frowned when she heard quiet sounds that sounded like someone pressing video game controllers. She walked into the kitchen and saw her brother sitting on the couch in the family room, pressing aggressively on the buttons of his controller.

Yura jumped on the couch from behind, sat on the table and grabbed her controller. “I wanna play too,” she said to her brother. Junhong nodded, “Next round,” he said with his eyes focused on the TV. She watch her brother shoot down his enemies from the top of a building like a real sniper. She isn’t really a fan of video games, but at least it could take her mind off for a while, or longer.

Yura joined the game after her brother had finished his game. “Why are you up so early?” her brother asked while they were waiting for the game to load. “There was this bird that was singing like it’s about to die outside my window,” Yura lied. “Why are you up so early?”

The game started, they both picked up their controller. “I have no idea,” Junhong said. “Just woke up and felt like playing video games. Behind you.” Yura turned her person around and shot the enemy.

“Ooh, that was fast,” her bother complimented.

They played a few more games until they were both starving. Yura poured herself some cereal and went back to the table. She quickly drank all the milk before it could make her cereal soggy. She turned the TV back on and switch from channel to channel to find something to watch, but because it was the morning, all there was on were children cartoons and news.

Yura turned around and glared at her brother’s back after hearing enough banging against pans and bowls, and said, “What are you doing?” Junhong looked up, “I’m looking for the right pan to cook egg.”

“What do you mean the right pan?”

“The pan!”

Yura frowned. “There’s no right pan for cooking eggs. Just use whichever you think is the right one.”

Junghong sighed and looked down at the two pans in his hands. “Why do we even have two pans that look exactly the same?” he mumbled and put both of them away. He walked over to the counter and poured himself some cereal. He carried the bowl carefully over to the couch. He shook his head at Yura, he didn’t get why she was always sitting on counters and tables when there are chairs and couches for her to sit. “Why are you sitting on the table? You’re gonna break it.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Says the girl that weighted as the heaviest baby when she was born,” Junhong chuckled.

Yura turned around and gave him a dirty glare. “Well, at least I’m not so tall that nothing fits me.”

“I know you’re jealous of my height. I know you want to be tall too, but too bad, I got all the genes.”

Yura groaned and turned back around as her brother laughed behind her. She could just leave her brother alone in the room laughing like a crazy twelve-year-old, but she knew if she leave her mind would go back to thinking of him, and she didn’t want that, it’ll make her go insane.

She smacked her forehead while Junhong continued to laugh at his own comeback, she placed her empty bowl beside her and picked up her controller. “I’m starting the next game,” she said and switched the TV back to their vidoe game. “Wait, no, I’m still eating,” he said with his mouth still chewing on his food.

They played one game after another, nonstop. It was like brothers playing video games on their free Sunday, but instead of brothers it was a sister and a brother. It was a good thing that Junhong was addicted to playing video games, it kept Yura focused on the game.

They stopped briefly for lunch but continued after. Their mother shook her head at her two children with a smile on her face. It’s been a while seeing the siblings having fun together. Ever since Yura moved into the school’s dorm, every day, Junhong would come home, eat dinner, take a shower, do his homework in his room, then sleep, the cycle goes over and over again until Yura comes home and breaks his boring daily cycle.

L.Joe woke up with his usual messy bed hair, he grabbed his phone from beside his pillow and read the time, 1:40. He closed his eyes and yawned. He couldn’t believe how long he had slept but even with that much sleep, he was still tired. He crawled out of bed and walked straight down to the kitchen. He wondered why it was quiet as he walked down the stairs, but shrugged it off as soon as he reached the kitchen. He tossed two pieces of toasts into the toaster and hopped onto the counter, he let his legs dangled freely while he played games on his phone to kill some time. The game required to move his fingers so much, he gave up.

The silence in the house made him feel uncomfortable, he looked around the kitchen for some sort of note that his parents could possibly leave for him, but there was none. And right when he thought he was home alone, footsteps came down from the stairs, and by the sound of it, he knew it was his sister.

She walked into the kitchen with her eyes barley opened and pushed L.Joe off of the counter so she could rest her head on it. She mumbled a few words but they were mumbles, and were not meant to be understood. L.Joe grabbed his toast out of the toaster and placed then on the plate, he stared at the two pieces of toasts for a long time and realized he wasn’t even hungry. “Noona,” he pocked her arm, “are you hungry?” She mumbled more and shook her head, but it wasn’t the “no” kind of shaking it was more like she was trying to buried her head more into her arms. “Are we going to the mall today though?” L.Joe asked. No reply. “Noona,” he said and lightly patter her arm again. Her head shot up immediately, making L.Joe’s eyes widen. “What?” she said calmly, but there was anger in her voice.

L.Joe shook his head and watched his sister slowly place her head back onto the table. The garage door burst opened and the sound of plastic bag rattling against each other became louder. “Bora!” their mother called from the garage door. “Yes?!” Bora lift her head back up, her hair was covering one of her closed eyes and her voice was annoyed.

“Come help me with the groceries,” their mother replied.

Bora groaned and walked to the garage, leaving L.Joe alone in the kitchen. He sighed and left the kitchen as well, he walked back up into his room and jumped onto his bed. He laid on his back, tossing a little rubber basketball into the air. He didn’t have much plans for today, there was only shopping and finish all his homework, nothing else. It was like those days where he didn’t want to do anything but lay around and be lazy. And that is what he did for an hour.

He sat up on his bed still playing with the ball in his hand, he was spaced out when his sister opened his room door. She called his name a few times before he turned and looked at her.

“Let’s go.”

“Where?”

“Mall!”

“Oh, right,” L.Joe mumbled and got up from his bed. He changed after his sister left and went to the bathroom to fix his hair, but he gave up soon after realizing it would take too much time. He put his favorite snapback on, and headed downstairs where his sister was already waiting.

Yura looked down at her textbook while she played with her pen in her hand, she wasn’t reading anything or writing anything, she was just pretending she was doing her work so if someone enters her room, they would see her "studying’’, and then leave quietly. Yura closed her eyes, thoughts of him flashed through her mind, again. She opened her eye, and the thoughts remained in her head. She stabbed her pen into the pile of paper beside her and groaned quietly. She grabbed her phone from the side and dialed Hyojin’s number. She turned the speaker on and placed her head on the table next to her phone, and waited for her to pick up.

“Hello?” Hyojin answered after a few ring. “I miss him,” Yura mumbled.

“What?” she screamed into the phone.

“Never mind.”

“Who?”

“Who else?”

“Me,” Hyojin laughed, “I know you miss me. Don’t worry, you’ll see me soon.”

“Not you,” Yura sat up and frowned at her phone.

“Who then?”

Yura sighed and laid her head back down. “Who do you think?”

“L.Joe?”

There was a split second of silence before Hyojin broke it with a sharp, loud laugh. “Go talk to him more, and stalk him home so you know where he lives, and then you can pretend to just walk pass his house but really you just want to see him.”

“Can you, like, shut up, and keep that thought to yourself, cause you know I wouldn’t do that.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. I know you will, one day.”

“Shut up!” Yura smiled at her phone. She knew she should have called Hyojin earlier, because she always make her smile and allow her to just say whatever she wants to.

“Gotta go, my mom’s calling,” Hyojin said. Yura sighed, “Alright.”

After hanging up, Yura forced herself to do a few questions of her homework. She flipped through her book to find the right answer, and a piece of paper flew out. Yura blinked at it and opened it slowly, a chuckled escaped her lips. It was the picture Hyojin drew for her. She had an idiotic smile smacked on her face, the picture made her heart feel warm, even though it wasn’t coloured or absolute perfect, it was still a precious piece of paper.

Yura taped the picture on her shelf and smiled at it, the L.Joe in the picture looked just like him but an even cuter version. She smooth the paper, she felt flowers blooming in her chest. Thinking of him could sometimes be annoying and frustrating because she can never get to see him right at the moment, but sometimes, he was just like a ray of sunshine, shinning into her heart, making her feel warm and happy.

The song “You Are My Sunshine” popped into her head, she smiled and started humming as she laid down on her bed. She hugged onto her pillow and changed the lyrics of the song, she sang quietly into her pillow. “L.Joe’s my sunshine, my only sunshine. He makes me happy when skies are grey. He’ll never know, man, how much I love him. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

She giggled and rolled around her bed. Thinking of him made her go insane, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking more and more about him, she thinks about him every minute, every second. He was her sunshine, her one and only sunshine.