All there was is fear. I looked around, shaking, nervous and paranoid if someone sees me; if someone sees what I do; if someone discovers what I have done. I waited there, standing in the middle of the darkness. I tried surpassing the extreme coldness of the wind while I shakingly move my fingers in senseless actions just to let out the nervousness.

I fear. I love.

The loud silence was followed by a horrible, traumatic scream of a man. I bit my lower lip and pretended not to hear anything. I pretended it was all fine despite of my trembling hands and body. I closed my eyes and swallowed an invisible lump on my throat.
The voice cried few more times, shouting for help. Begging. Pleading. I can hear the stabbing of flesh, the splattering of blood, the voice that slowly fades away.

Until it was gone.

I opened my pack and grabbed the towel I prepared for tonight, getting ready for hearing his sweetly terrifying voice.

"Kyuhyun"

As the voice reached my ears, I turned around slowly, breathing deeply while moving my gaze on the ground to miss the sight. But I couldn't prevent myself to not look onto him. I glanced all the way up from his feet to his face, seeing all the things I knew I will fear. He was covered in blood. In red. In the liquid that once circulated inside a living, innocent human being. He was wearing a painfully blissful smile. He looked adorable. Adorable yet scary. He was smiling sweetly but I can see a knife on his had covered with blood, blood all over his face and clothes. All over his body.

He looked psychotic. But no. It's him. This is him.

He ran. He ran towards me with the smile continuing on his features, calling my name with his tempting voice. With that, I again fall under his spell. It was like everything was okay. Though I know it will never be.

I covered him with the towel I picked from my pack and wiped the still warm blood on his face.

We've been in this routine almost every night. It's been months. Maybe even years now. I keep on losing count. But it doesn't matter. The feeling in my chest all these nights were the same as if it was the first. I didn't want this. But I need him beside me.

I am keeping a murderer in my arms.

But him with me is a life I need. No matter how it will turn out, as long as he's with me. It's a life worth living.

After all this time I am still an editor at the newspaper company. It makes me shiver whenever I see the news of Ryeowook's killings on the papers I need to work on. I can hide the uneasy part of me. But for how long? I don't know.