December 5, 2010

Dear Diary,

It's Yuri Choding's birthday! I bought her a very pretty Mickey mouse keychain made of Swarvoski beads. I also got her a black pearl necklace and a blue dream diary. 

I hope she likes them. She's super obsessed with collecting Mickey Mouse items.

And speaking of dreams, you guessed it. I had another one. This time, I felt like I was reliving the day Unnie died. We were in the hospital. Her skin was pale and guant, her cheeks hollow and bony, black hair limp, tubes connecting to give her air. She looked directly at me with her beautiful yet haunted brown eyes. I was holding her frail hand. She was begging Umma and Appa to let her go. She was suffering and she didn't want them to suffer either. I was crying and shaking my head and screaming. Defeated, my parents agreed and the doctors cut the tube, cutting her air supply....and cutting my heart. She was dying. I knew this. We all did. But she looked at me with her cloudy, yet clear eyes and smiled....

...then she closed those eyes for the last time. And she was gone. Forever. 

Crying...that's what I did then, and that's what I'm doing as I write this. Are these just memories? Or are they a sign of something in the future? I should tell Yuri. She would know what they mean. Yes, I'll tell her tomorrow. 

Much love and tears,

Taeyeon 

Hi guys! No, I didn't die. I've been kind of busy. Sorry for not updating :( I tried to make the entry longer, but I wasn't sure how. Please leave comments? <3 Yes, I was actually crying while writing this.

~Tiffany